Chapter 13: Chapter Thirteen – State of Satori

“Why are you really in love with me, Randell Heart?  I’m not a good person at all, and certainly not worth risking your health and happiness over…”

 

As I lay together with my husband on the bed in the small room he lodges in at the Blue Robin Inn not too far away from both the Zoma Dungeon’s entrance and the Dungeoneer’s Guild, I do my best to understand how he can love someone as useless and selfish as myself.

 

Randell is currently asleep, having been put to rest by an ability I just purchased with a newly acquired skill point.  I used him as a test case for it, but also with a good reason.  He’s insatiable.  I’m happy to make love with him, that’s not the issue.  The issue is his stamina and not mine.  I don’t want him to be so worn out after seeing me that he can’t work.

 

Because of what the Goddess Alurian did to me when I couldn’t overcome my crisis of faith, giving me this new unfamiliar body with this cursed Mark of the Penitent all because I ran away from my duties as the Saintess…  I can’t get fatigued when performing my punishment as a whore for her followers.

 

Yes, I was fundamentally changed by the Goddess when I asked to be freed from the curse of my Combatant Class.  Alurian, though she is called the Goddess of the Loving Embrace, I think at times she is anything but a benevolent Goddess deserving of worship.  After all, why would she send Randell to me only for me to have to service others at night against my own will?

 

Randell himself is quite attractive to me, I don’t dare deny that.  Though he’s an American from Earth and originally someone about ten years older than I am. He’s got short black hair and brown eyes, and he is even familiar with the culture of my homeland, Japan.  But he’s also very awkward at times, and his utter lack of confidence in many places reminds me of my own wretched self.

 

The first time we met was in the brothel, the day he watched his party, the Red Hawks, wiped out.  I recognized his eyes the moment I saw them.  Those were the eyes of a man about to walk the same path I just did.  I had to help him avoid the cruelty of the Goddess Alurian, so I made a decision to give him my first time, voluntarily.

 

He was so nervous and trembling.  I should have been too, but I was already at my limit, having done my best to fight the pain that the Mark of the Penitent delivered to my body.  As we talked about his fallen party members, he played with my body and in doing so I truly did sympathize with him.  The loss of my good friends barely a month ago still weighed heavily on me.

 

He talked about gyaru culture and all that nostalgic stuff with me, even going so far as to ask if I was one back on Earth.  Hah!  I couldn’t have been further from that riajuu life.  I was an ugly bespectacled manga otaku with one friend in the world, and they weren’t even human.  It was my family’s pet cat, Tarou-chan.

 

Sure, like other girls I also dreamed about finding a dreamy-looking guy one day and getting married to him.  I would eventually bear his children and fully expected that same husband to cheat on me a few times because I’m wasn’t the most beautiful, and I’d even willingly forgiving him for it if it meant I’d still be taken care of and have an otherwise easy domestic life.  I mean, I was always a useless perverted girl, but I never expected anything in my boring life to turn out like this.

 

I definitely never expected that I’d be taken from Earth and sent to this hellhole of a world called Labyrinthia with no way to return.  That I would be forced into a daily life-and-death struggle for over a year in the bowels of hell known as the Great Zoma Dungeon, and then be punished afterwards by that Goddess and forced to become a whore of hers because I refused to continue being at the center of all that death.  

 

That the only skill I was destined to have after saving as many lives as I could, was also a curse meant to make me regret my action in refusing to continue my descent into that cruel hole of death, and purposely instill in me the shame of wanting to crawl back to her just so that I could beg her to allow me to return to the dungeon once more in my old body, on the so-called sacred mission she gave to me when I met her during my first class change on the Central Dais of the Unified Temple where I arrived in this world.

 

That mission being me having to reach the dungeon’s core at the very bottom floor and seize it for her.

 

Though I don’t know what she needs it for, there is no question she’s desperate enough to play dirty and sacrifice as many people’s lives as necessary to get it.  She’s a smart goddess, I will acknowledge that.  She will give the carrot before she shows the whip.  But for forcing this path onto me… I want nothing more than to get my revenge on that trash Goddess.

 

That’s why I agreed to his crazy marriage proposal.  Randell will be my vessel for that revenge.  I know for a fact that the Goddess sent him to me, to let me know her mercy had a time limit.  That Randell was someone she could use to instill fear into me that I would be doomed to serve at that brothel until my new body broke.  Because he had already done what I failed to do when I lost everything I had worked so hard for on the fiftieth floor.

 

He managed to get back up and push forward.

 

Perhaps it’s because it happened to him at the start of his delving, and not the middle where it happened to me.  For that I envy and respect him.  I could have convinced him otherwise, to change into a non-combatant, but I could also feel his determination.  Randell has a good heart.  He’s selfless and wants desperately to be in a position to help his friends in the way he believes he can.

 

He even wants to help me… but I’m beyond saving.  As I said, I’m a rotten woman.  I don’t want to see that level of death ever again.  I want the life that was stolen from me that I should have had back on Earth returned.  Randell offered it to me on a silver platter not having the first clue how to go about it, but I wasn’t about to refuse it.

 

While I stroked his hair as he laid there peacefully asleep next to me, I took a moment to go over my status.

 

【Name:  Satori Kokoro】

【Age: 20】【Sex: Female】

【Class:  Chosen of Alurian】 

【Displayed Class:  Penitent】

【Level:  06】

【To Next Level:  1081 EXP】

【Unique Skill:  Husband’s Dower<Linked>】

【Unique Skills: (4)  1 Point(s) Unspent】

【Cherish】

【Endowment Lv.3】

【Nurture】

【Dedication】

【Sanctuary<Locked>】

【??? <Locked>】

【Chosen Skills: (5) 1 Points Unspent】

【Alurian’s Penance】

【Penitent’s Fatigue Correction Lv.1】

【Penitent’s Fellatio Techniques Lv.1】

【Penitent’s Vaginal Techniques Lv.1】

【Charming Fragrance Lv.1】

【Cooking Lv.1】

【Status: (35) 0 Point(s) Unspent】

【Power:  5+10】

【Dexterity: 5+10】

【Vitality: 5+15】

【Mentality: 5】

【Faith: 100】

 

【Alurian’s Penance】

『By forsaking your duty as one of Alurian’s Chosen and refusing to fulfill the destiny as the Saintess you were summoned to this world in order to perform, your fate has been rewritten.  Your wish for a safe life will be granted in exchange by equal measure for the lives you save in service to Alurian as her Penitent One.  It is hereby your duty to comfort the followers of Alurian who will visit you at night with your newly given body.  Failure to do so will result in a debilitating pain that will persist until you comply.  Your penance will be reduced slightly with each follower you successfully comfort.  Penance can be negated immediately should you return to the Unified Temple to resume your original fate.  The Goddess Alurian is Most Forgiving.』

 

【Cherish】

『Being Soulbonded to Randell Heart allows you to share in his fate.  Through loving intercourse with Randell Heart, you will absorb a fixed amount of experience based on the amount needed for you to reach your next level from the available pool of experience Randell has currently earned towards his next level of experience.  Your own level cannot exceed Randell’s through this method, nor can you take any further experience that would reduce his current level.  This skill was given to you in order to allow you to share in his strength and also become his weakness.  As Randell was not originally intended to be a Chosen of Alurian, he will have to work twice as hard to achieve the same results as one who was destined to be an Apostle.』

 

【Endowment Lv.3】

『This skill allows you to increase Randell’s strength and, supplant his glaring weaknesses.  At each odd level you may endow Randell, through sexual intercourse, with a skill you have obtained from a follower of Alurian whom you have comforted within the last day up to the fifth level of skill progression.  At each even level, the previous skill’s level may increase to the tenth level of skill progression if it was higher when copied.  You may select one skill to copy and hold for Randell from each follower per day.  Skills copied will deteriorate after one full day.  Current skills endowed: 2/2』

 

【Nursing】

『Physical Intimacy is important for Randell’s spiritual and emotional growth as your Soulbonded.  Once per day you may produce a divine serum from your breasts which is intended for  Randell.  Should he consume it, his base status will increase by one point randomly.  It will also passively increase his trust in you since within your breasts lie his many hopes and dreams.』

 

【Dedication】

『This skill allows you to share your worldly fortunes and assets with Randell if you so choose.  You now have access at any time to Randell’s Special Skill: Alurian’s Divine Treasury and you may freely add or remove items from it as you see fit, provided any items stored are not of the standard sense of living.』

 

【Sanctuary <Locked>】

『For as long as Randell believes your heart belongs only to him, whenever he is with you, he is completely at peace.  The more trust he has for you, the greater the effects this skill will empower Randell in his desire to fulfill your needs and make you happy.  Conversely, the further and longer away he is from you, the more the effects of this skill will degrade, and he will come to know your true nature.』

 

【??? <Locked>】

『This skill will unlock when you have spent ten unique skill points in Husband’s Dowry.』

【Penitent’s Fatigue Correction Lv.1】

『Engaging in sexual activity allows you to reduce the strain of fatigue on your body.  At higher levels you may also reduce the fatigue of your partners as well.  Fatigue reduction affects mental and physical conditions, negating the need for food intake and necessary restful sleep.  A man works from sun to sun, but a woman’s work is never done.』

 

【Penitent’s Fellatio Techniques Lv.1】

『As a Penitent One, this skill imparts a uncanny ability to please your partner using any and all parts of your mouth as if the Goddess herself was instructing you on the task.  Higher levels in this skill allow for more advanced techniques to be performed with increasingly less difficulty.』

 

【Penitent’s Sexual Techniques lv.1】

『As a Penitent, your body is always primed for copulation.  This skill optimizes your body’s condition to accept inside and please your partner as well as to heighten the pleasure you receive as well.  Higher levels allow for greater control of moisture, elasticity, fertility, and orgasm control.』

 

【Charming Fragrance Lv.1】

『This skill allows your body to emit a scent which induces a variety of special effects on others nearby.  Higher levels increase potency of the scent and additional effects as necessitated by need.』

 

Yes, the immediately above skill was the latest one I had chosen and also what I used to lull this sweet husband of mine into a satisfactory sleep.  While he was resting, I took the time to see what exactly he had stored in his special item box.

 

It wasn’t a great deal, but it’s not like I was planning on stealing from him.  I have no doubt if I asked for the shirt off his back, he’d give it to me without a second thought.  What I did end up finding inside the Divine Treasury was mostly some equipment which likely belonged to his former party members, those four of the Red Hawks who he treasured dearly, and who still weigh heavily on his heart.  A couple of items called Essence, some books, pet food bowls, essential dungeon diving supplies, my sack of sweet breads that I enjoyed so much when I was a diver… There was also his entire fortune, which after going on a spending spree earlier just to make me happy, amounted to about one and half large gold coins.

 

I don’t even know the proper value of money in this world.  But that’s because up until recently, I was supported entirely by Alurian’s faction as long as I was her Saintess.  Was a gold coin really that much money?  How is it calculated?  Is one copper coin equal to one yen?  How do the large coppers differ from the smaller ones?

 

I heard that to be embraced by me for an hour at the brothel, for Dell alone the price was reduced to one large silver.  For everyone else, the price is set at one gold coin.  I’m the most expensive woman in the brothel, according to Madame.  I cost more than the top ranker, an absolutely stunning woman just a few years older than I.  Was this a good thing or a bad thing I wonder?  Thanks to my price, I don’t see an excessive number of patrons, not like the others do, but the ones who are able to afford my time are all rich and powerful, though thankfully none I have recognized or partied with so far, not that they’d recognize anything but my name. A name I’ve only told to only to Randell.  For At the brothel, I have another name…

 

Honeybell.

 

I find it a stupid name, but one that is also important to me.  Because it’s not Satori Kokoro who is debasing herself in that place, instead it’s merely the body of this unfortunate girl I’m currently inside of for now.  The body of… Honeybell.

 

Being a bit worn out from all the effort Randell and I put into our married life a short while ago, I escaped from the bed once I was sure he wouldn’t wake up and find me not there.  I got dressed into one of the nice outfits I bought which was easy to wear, and thankful that the skirt was long enough to handle the gooey part of my husband that was now trailing down my leg since I didn’t want to soil a pair of panties, I quietly left his room and went to the common area of the Inn I was at.

 

I was thirsty, and hoped to get myself a glass of something good.  Ale was fine, but if they had something stronger like a full beer, that was what I wanted.  I like juice and all, but I felt like having a nice drink after a while.  I have problems I want to forget, and alcohol is good for exactly that.  Letting me forget for a while.

 

I saw a familiar face however, but not with the girl Sandy went over to before I pulled Randell into his room.  She was dressed up as a diver, and while not stunningly attractive, she had that tomboyish girl-next-door kind of look to her, as well as owning two pieces of very nutritious meat that I admit to being a little jealous about.

 

I headed over to where Sandy was, and squatted down to pet her.

 

“Hey there, girl.  Are you enjoying dinner?”

 

“Ouuu!”

 

Though we got off on the wrong foot at first, I don’t think she was ever really intending to be hostile to me.  Instead, she just munched away at some savory looking bird meat she had in her food bowl on the floor next to the woman, who was eating the same thing.

 

I looked up and our eyes met.

 

“Hello.”  I greeted her politely.

 

“Hiya,” she said after chewing and swallowing what she already had in her mouth.  “You don’t have to worry, she doesn’t bite.” I scratched behind Sandy’s ears, since Randell told me she loved it when he did it to her.  “Haven’t seen you around here before.”

 

“Un.  That’s because it’s my first time coming here.”  I replied truthfully.  I had never set foot into the Blue Robin Inn before today.

 

“Are you a dungeon diver?” She further inquired.

 

“No.  With all the death and bloodshed to be found within, I’d rather not set foot in that place if I can help it.”

 

“I don’t blame you.  Not everyone is cut out to be a diver.”

 

“What about you?”

 

“Me?  Yeah, I’m a diver, even though not much of one yet.  Just made it to the third floor recently and might have even found a good party to stick with.  There are a couple of weirdos in it, but there’s also a really good guy.  There’s Sandy here, too.” She said, pointing at Randell’s pet darkwolf.

 

The fact she mentioned Sandy makes me wonder if this woman is perhaps part of Randell’s Party?

 

“Does your party have a name?” I then investigated.

 

“It’s called the Red Hawks.  Kind of an ominous name if you ask me.”

 

“What’s so ominous about it?”

 

“Maybe it would be worse if it was called the Crimson Hawks, but I get the same feeling of blood and death from the name.”

 

“Yes, well, the dungeon is a place that takes lives without mercy.”  I replied with a somber nostalgia.  “But doesn’t it also sound strong?”

 

“That it does.”  She agreed.  “I’m Melody, and you are?”

 

“Honeybell.”  I answered, deciding not to give her my real name.  From now on, that right will belong to the only person I feel it’s safe to trust with that knowledge.  

 

“That’s an interesting name.”

 

“It’s not like I had much choice in receiving it.”  Which is true for the most part. Madame gave it to me, but it’s not like I would have chosen a better name for my debut as a lady of comfort at the brothel.

 

“Me neither.  My dad always loved to hear my mom sing as she went about doing her chores around the house.  Dad decided to name me after his favorite thing, the melody of my mother’s voice as she hummed and sang.”

 

“That sounds like a name full of love.”

 

“Love was something that was plentiful in my home.  Money, not so much.”

 

“You choose to risk your life going into that dungeon just for money?”

 

“Is there any other reason I need?”

 

“Not at all.  I’m not judging you or telling you what to do.  I just think it’s unfortunate that you go in there never knowing if you will come back out again whole.”

 

“If that’s meant to happen, then it will happen….  That’s the life of a diver.  For now though, all that I want is to earn enough to buy a few nice things that I might never otherwise have had the chance to.  Maybe I’ll get lucky and only wind up missing a limb that forces me to retire.  I can always go back to my parent’s farm if that happens, though I imagine I wouldn’t be anyone’s first pick if I were to return in that kind of shape.”

 

She had a mug of something in front of her and downed it quickly in a lone gulp.

 

“So, since you’re not a diver, what brings you to this inn full of them?”

 

I smiled.

 

“I came to comfort the soul of a young man who is working hard for what he believes in.”

 

“Boyfriend?”

 

“Mm, I’m not sure that’s the right word to explain our relationship.  But I want to do anything I can so that he can continue to do his best.”

 

“Is he a diver?”

 

“Yes.  I do believe he’s also reached the same floor as you.  In fact, that’s his dear companion who is keeping you company.”

 

I motioned to Sandy.

 

“…are you talking about Randell Heart?  Tall, black hair, brown eyes, scruffy looks?”

 

“Scruffy?  I think he’s pretty handsome, actually.”

 

“Then it’s you!  You’re the one who refused to see him last night!”

 

“Refused is the wrong word.  Randell needed to come at a certain time so I could see him, it was just unfortunate that he overslept from all his hard work.  That’s also the reason as to why I came by to check up on him as soon as I could.  He’s enjoying a nice rest in his room thanks to Sandy here being considerate of his needs and giving us some alone time.”

 

“Oooou!”

 

“Yes, we’re finished.  You can go in to see him anytime you want now.”

 

“Ou!”

 

After a happy little howl, her tail began to wag and she immediately bolted towards his room, leaving two empty pet bowls behind.

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“So, what’s a girl gotta do to get a hard drink around here?” I complained cheerfully.

 

That question was answered when the girl from earlier who let me know what room Randell was in, and who looked after Sandy so he and I could have our alone time showed up at our table.  

 

“Looking to loosen up a little before going back?” She said with a smirk.

 

“He loosened me up plenty already.  I just want to relax and unwind for a little while now that he’s taken care of.  Oh, and Thanks for looking after his wolf, by the way.”

 

“I’ll be back with something to drink for you in a moment.  Anything else for you, Mel?”

 

“Are you trying to put me further in debt to you, Renni?”

 

“Maybe?” She said teasingly as the one called Renni caressed the toned arms of Melody.  “You can always pay me with that firm body of yours.”

 

Melody was turning red in the face.  “H-hey!  I already agreed to helping you do the dishes in exchange for the meal!”

 

I opened up Randell’s Divine Treasury and withdrew a large copper coin.

 

“Is this enough for the both of us to drink?”

 

The young girl took the coin eagerly, and told me it certainly was.  She walked away and a short while later brought back a large pitcher and a mug for me along with a tray of some kind of roasted salted nuts. 

 

“Enjoy.”

 

And I did.  Me and this buxom girl drank and talked until we were both buzzed from the good amount of alcohol content in the beer I bought with Randell’s money.  As it turns out, despite her lascivious body, she’s quite a simple and innocent girl from the sticks.  She was good with a bow, and raised in a farming village not too far from Zoma.  She was popular among the boys as a child until she developed… those things.

 

Feeling alienated over the years due to her emerging womanly body and not wanting to settle down with some poor farmer and have children before seeing what life had to offer besides poverty and the occasional starvation during a bad harvest year, she already had good skill with the bow, so she thought she might make something more of herself for a short while here in the city.

 

“So, you’ve never been with a man before?” I asked her.

 

“You say it like it’s something I should be ashamed of… It’s not like I don’t know how it works.  I’ve seen how it is with the stallions and mares.  It’s just… kind of…”

 

“Are you scared?”

 

“W-well… there supposed to be big, right?  And I don’t think it’ll fit inside of me the right way.”

 

Does she not know how it works?  Women are made to accept all different sizes.  Was she thinking men are the size of a stallion by chance?

 

“Then what about a kiss?”

 

She took a swig from her mug before answering.

 

“Once, but…”

 

“But?”

 

“It wasn’t with a man.”

 

“Oh, you go for women?”

 

“No.   It’s… there was a man who passed through our town once a few months before I left, and for the first time I was really interested in someone who was different from all the young men I already knew.  He looked so gallant and full of muscles honed from practicing with the sword.  He had been helping out with the farming since we had put up a request to hire someone strong to aid with the tilling for the spring planting.  We ended up talking with each other little by little and one day after working hard he took a rest under this nice shady tree we had.  I brought him something to drink, and the next thing I knew he had pulled me down onto his lap and began to… touch me.   I should have minded it, but I was kind of excited by it at the same time.  It was different, you know?  Then he brings his face closer and our lips met…”

 

As expected from a village daughter.  She’s a total choroi… an easy capture target!

 

“…then the next thing I know I’m in his room and he’s undressing me.  The entire time it’s happening, the one thought going through my head is that this is that moment in my life I finally become a woman, in the arms of a handsome stranger who excited me.  But then, when it came time for him to undress, that’s when I found out that handsome man… was a handsome woman!”

 

I was absent-mindedly taking a sip of my own beer when she delivered that twist and ended up spurting some of it out of my nose.

 

Hack… cough…

 

“He was a woman you say?”

 

“Yeah.  She had me completely fooled!”

 

“So what happened after that?”

 

“I was too ashamed to immediately run out of the place she was staying at, and I didn’t know what to do with another woman so I just stood there.  She began touching and kissing me once more, however I think she realized I wasn’t comfortable with the situation any more, and she stopped before going any further.”

 

“But you were interested in her as long as you knew she was a man?”

 

“What are two women supposed to do with each other?  A man’s got his thing and it goes inside, right?  How’s it supposed to be when there’s nothing to put inside of each other?”

 

I couldn’t help but giggle.  That put a perturbed sneer on her face.  I held up a hand while I tried to stifle my laughter.

 

“I can see how that would be a surprise, but you missed out on an opportunity.  I can’t say I’ve done it myself either, but from what I do know, women can do those things with each other as well, and for what to put in, you’ve got a tongue, and many fingers, don’t you?”

 

Her face was as red as a ripe tomato.

 

“Is… is that… how… it’s supposed to go…?”

 

“Un.  Now here’s the follow up question:  If you would have known what to do with her, since I have no doubt she already knew what to do with you, would you have continued?”

 

She poured herself another mug full, nearly emptying the pitcher in the process.

 

“I don’t know, but… maybe?  She was really handsome, and it’s not like my heart was beating any slower after seeing her naked.  I just think… I’d be real nervous if that ever happened again.”

 

“Why?  Personally, I think that since you both were interested in each other, shouldn’t that have been enough to have a little fun without worrying about all the other stuff? I don’t think it should matter if your partner is a man or a woman just as long as you think you could be happy with them.”

 

She pondered my question while nursing her last mug.  I emptied the rest of what was left in the pitcher into my own and joined her.

 

I grew up in Japan.  Boys love, girls love, okama, traps, and all sorts of different kinds of stuff existed there, even if some of it was looked down on by the mainstream population.  There were even stranger things that people enjoyed, like S&M and Netorare.  There’s something for everybody under the sun, as the old saying goes.

 

“Mm, but I think I’d be happier with a man.  Thinking back to what my ma and pa had together… I want that kind of love.  The one that makes my heart beat real fast, and makes me shake in my boots.”

 

“Sister, don’t we all dream of that.”

 

“Is that what you have with Randell?”

 

“I don’t know.  What he and I have… is an understanding of each other that transcends time and space.”

 

“Space?  What’s that?”

 

In Labyrinthia, the concept of space is called the Star Ocean.  There’s astronomy to a degree, but it’s still at a level of scholarly speculation and cartography as to what lies beyond.  I don’t intend to even try explaining it to this girl with the education of a peasant villager.

 

“Let’s just say that if we lived on one of the bright lights somewhere out in the star ocean that resembled Labyrinthia, we’d still understand each other even there without effort.”

 

“…that sounds nice.”

 

“It is.”

 

“Well, I should turn in then, since if I drink anymore I won’t wake up early and my head will be pounding.” She said as she rose from her chair, holding on to the wooden table for a moment before she was able to fully steady herself.  “Enjoy the rest of your night with Randell, Honeybell.”

 

“I will.  One last question before you go.”

 

“What is it?”

 

“If you found a guy you liked and he had another woman already, and she didn’t mind that he also wanted to be with you, would you pursue a relationship with him like that?”

 

“Huh… you mean being his mistress?”

 

“Not just his mistress.”

 

“You mean with the both of ‘em?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Is the woman handsome too?”

 

I snorted involuntarily.

 

“She’s pretty, but not anywhere as pretty as you.  You can feel confident about that.”

 

“Mm… That would be different, wouldn’t it?  Why are you asking that?”

 

“What you said about that woman you were with who seemed like a handsome man.  When I first saw you, I thought something similar.”

 

“That I look like a man?”

 

“How is that possible with those things!” I blurted out while buzzed from the alcohol.  “I just mean that… to me, you kind of fit the same profile.  You’re not a frail thing like I am.  To me you look as strong as a man, but you’re without a doubt a beautiful woman.  No… a handsome woman.”

 

She bit her lip cutely then left without ever answering my question.  I got up from the table myself and made my way back to my husband’s room.  Sandy had taken up her spot on the bed already near the edge, and that left me with the leftover space on the other side of him.

 

I undressed again and stored my clothes away before climbing into bed with the both of them, hugging my husband from behind without any furry interruption.  I fell asleep wondering how in just a week of having this new body and curse that I’m already behaving like a filthy bitch, and wondering just how much I’m going to hurt this man who I’m about to hedge all my bets on.

 

My dreams weren’t pleasant at all.  Just another reminder of my shitty childhood and of my despicable mother, along with all the strange men she brought home from time to time which then transitioned to the nightmare I experienced on the fiftieth floor of the Zoma dungeon.

 

At some point I woke up in the warm embrace of my husband while my sweat-soaked body trembled.  He held me gently and whispered that it would all be okay.  Dog-be-damned if I didn’t make him prove those words to me right then and there.

 

I felt a little bad for Sandy, but that’s all.

 

“Dell…”

 

“Yes, my love?”

 

“If… if it ever comes to you needing comfort and I… am unavailable again, no matter the reason... it's okay if you want to… with another woman.”

 

“All I want and need is you, Koko.”

 

“Just promise me she has a big chest.”

 

“Huh?”

 

“Big boobies.  I won’t forgive you if she’s tiny like me.  You can even bring her with you.”

 

“Koko?  What are you talking about?”

 

“I… just don’t want you to think you can’t.  I don’t want you to suffer knowing it’s only one way.  It’s not fair to you.”

 

“There’s no such thing as fairness in love and war.”

 

“Just promise me.  If there’s a time and place I can’t be there to heal you… you do what you have to, then, to survive and come back to me.”

 

“You mean from the dungeon?”

 

“Yes.  Promise me, Dell.”

 

“I will, but I don’t want to do something like that.”

 

I giggled.

 

“What?”

 

“I just offered you the permission every man would kill for, and you threw it away so easily.”

 

“That’s how important to me you are.”

 

“Don’t you think it’s the same for me?  I’ve lost everything once before, but I know that losing you is the one thing I can’t ever let happen.  So if it comes to it, know that I’ll forgive you for it, since you do the same every day for me.  And of course there’s the other thing…”

 

“What other thing?”

 

“Maybe… I want to try something like that out with a sexy girl, too.”

 

I was still a bit tipsy, and as horny as one of those fucking rabbits from the third floor.  I let my inhibitions go, powered by the alcohol and my insecurities and use my newly acquired sexual skills to please the ever living ghost out of my husband.

 

He’d have to deal with some shameful looks in the morning, and perhaps a little scolding from the Innkeeper, but it was worth it.  I was full of the proof of my husband’s love for me once more and as I cursed that bitch of a goddess in my mind, I fell asleep in his arms again, this time for a much needed restful sleep.  The kind that only seems to come when he is next to me, keeping my heart at ease.  

 

My last ponderous thought was that of which one of us was truly healing the other.

 

No, that’s a lie.

 

It was really me still thinking about the story Melody told me earlier, and if it wasn’t somehow possible to also copy a skill from a woman.  After all, if this is how my skill is supposed to be used to help Randell, I’m missing out on half the available skills in the world if I can’t eventually do that.

 

And Randell needs to become the strongest.

 

So we can outplay the Goddess Alurian, leave this shitty world behind and go back to the world we rightfully belong to.

 

Volume One - End

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