Chapter 18: Chapter 18: Feelings Realized, and a Story Told

Chapter 18:

Feelings Realized, and a Story Told

Jace sat there, looking out over the water as he waited. The night was more peaceful than it had ever been before. His nerves were getting the better of him, but luckily, he now had time to catch his breath. He never thought about dating before. He was always so busy working and trying to keep his mother alive.

It wasn't that he never thought about women, but that he just never had the leisure. He was self-conscious of those around him. It made him nervous. He grew up with his father putting horrible thoughts in his head about them. He never listened, as his mother taught him better. He never wanted to be like his father. Still, it affected his early development.

Perhaps that's why he wouldn't have harmed Selene at the hospital. He tried not to fight women unless absolutely necessary. Though, blood was on his hands of many people in the years he ran jobs. Staring at his own palms, he thought he could smell the blood upon them. A thick iron in the air.

As he took several deep breaths, the scent disappeared as a nice, floral scent filled the air. This place seemed to be lively, with a low hum of conversation permeating it. Yet, something felt off about it. He began to listen closely, but no matter how focused he made his ears, the noise never got sharper.

"Strange..." His hearing should have been able to pick up the conversations. Especially when it was enhanced by magic. Though, he rarely did so unless something felt off. Usually, it meant magic was involved. Being sensitive to magic himself, he rarely had to use enhancements to sense it unless he was distracted.

However, there were some that even he had trouble sensing. His thoughts turned to Selene in that moment. Her glamour was intricate to the point of being flawless. It changed everything and was so subtle that he had to push his eyes to their limit to even see the slight shimmer of it.

It's how he knew she was strong, or at least incredibly skilled. Both of which were dangerous. However, that wasn't the reason his thoughts turned to her and away from the strangeness he felt. This entire date was so sudden. If what she said was true about her feelings, then that meant this was the first time she ever felt this way about someone.

A part of him felt warm at the thought, another part felt weird. As if there was something preventing him from being truly happy about it. When he was asked on the date, he immediately went to those closest to him, particularly Liana. "Why did I feel so nervous telling her?"

Jace had been thinking on this since Selene left to use the restroom. His heart felt complicated. He wanted to know more about Selene, and she was quite beautiful. She was moonlighting as a nurse and a party girl. Beyond that, he knew nothing about her.

She seemed to care even underneath that impassive outer shell. In fact, lately he had seen many cracks in that shell which were rather cute. The way she blushed whenever he noticed was quite adorable. He wanted to see more of it. Yet, at the same time she told him all this stuff and he felt something stir inside of him.

A sense of familiarity of not understanding feelings, just as she tried to figure out her own. He was told he wore his emotions on his sleeve, despite him trying to hide them. There was something he couldn't get out of his head the last few days as well. Liana told him there was someone she loved, other than Kiera.

Someone she never mentioned to him before. He always thought they held no secrets from each other. They had always been close, even as he pushed her away. Something he came to regret. He thought he was protecting her, protecting them all. In fact, he was doing the opposite. Hurting them.

"I wonder who it is?" The thought tore at his heart. Why did he care so much? Perhaps because they had never hid anything. She wouldn't even tell him. Why? It bothered him, but why? Her life was hers to live and that shouldn't be his to intervene.

This wasn't the first time he ever felt this way. Almost as if he was agitated. When he first met Kiera, he was really hostile towards her. Kiera seemed nice, and eventually he grew to accept her. Resting his head on his palm, he stared out of the window in thought.

"Excuse me, sir?" A voice broke him out of his thoughts as he turned towards the woman.

She was wearing a neat, black suit which was a bit different from the waiter he saw before. Yet, she still bore that same golden emblem with the M etched on it. He smiled kindly to her.

"Yes?" He asked gently, noticing she seemed a bit nervous, "Is everything alright?"

"Of course, sir," She smile, though it felt off.

"Rough night?" Jace asked, figuring that might be the case.

"Ha, busy, yes," The woman seemed to relax as she continued her questions, "Could I offer you something else to drink besides water? Soda? Wine? Any other alcoholic beverage?"

"Oh...No, I don't drink alcohol," Jace told her, his heart growing heavy, "If you have it...Pear and Rose Punch, please."

"Of course, sir," She bowed her head, "Can I start you with anything else?"

"Ah...no," Jace shook his head, looking towards Selene's empty chair with a fond smile, "I'm...waiting for my date. She went to use the bathroom, so...I'll wait until she returns to order, if that's alright."

"No problem, please take your time," She bowed once more as she backed away, leaving Jace to his thoughts once more.

The mention of Selene has his date cemented this was real to him. He had gone to those he was closest to because this was an important event for him, but more than that he realized something now. He went to ask for permission.

Liana had always been important to him, and he felt like he was betraying her in a way. When Kiera was around, he felt like he was losing her. His closest friend and family member. His heart ached at the thought. He didn't want her to get hurt, but why did he feel like she would be hurt?

"I didn't confess to them." Liana's voice echoed in his head. Who was this person she didn't confess to? It tore at him. His heart pulling in all directions. Why did this bother him so much? Where was Selene? Even as he tried to calm down, he found himself getting riled up instead.

His emotions were volatile as he began to grow anxious again. "And right after I just calmed down..." Taking some breaths, he thought on all the preparation to get him to this point. Kiera and Liana had helped him. Liana especially seemed so calm and sincere as she did.

"I also want you to be happy." She told him that day. It made him incredibly shy and happy when she did. It was good to know she didn't hate him after all the pain he caused her. She still wished to help him and did just that. She was amazing.

His heart throbbed at the thought. "She really...is amazing." He reiterated to himself, feeling suddenly guilty as he thought of someone else when he was on a date. The fondness he held for her was unlike any other, however. He loved her like...

"Oh..." Jace muttered softly to himself as the realization hit, "Oh. I...see."

"What do you see?" Selene's voice startled him as he didn't notice her approach.

"I...Uhm...N-Nothing," Jace shook his head, his thoughts racing a million miles an hour, "Was just...thinking."

Selene watched him curiously as she moved to sit back down with him. She had been gone for about ten or fifteen minutes. Trying to collect his thoughts, he gazed upon her with a guilty conscience. It's not that he didn't like her, in fact he really wanted to get to know this woman.

However, the realization in his heart now that he knew how he felt was weighing on him. How did it take him all these years to finally realize he loved Liana...not as family, but as a person. Not to mention, his heart ached at not knowing who Liana loved besides Kiera. He had no right to interfere now.

"Jace?" Selene looked upon him with a bit of worry, "Is everything alright? You look a bit pale."

Grabbing ahold of the ring around his neck, he felt his mother's presence. His memories going back to the years she was still awake. How she would ask after his life, and he'd deflect. She often alluded to Liana, asking how she was. He'd dismiss it because of one reason or the other. Now, he realized why he had been so awkward about it.

His mother gave him strength in these moments. She had always wanted him to be happy, and this ring was a way to remind him. To not be blinded, and to find someone who cares for him as much as he does for them. Yet, what was he to do now? Was it too late?

"I...don't know," Jace answered honestly, taking a deep breath, "I think I'll be alright. Please, don't let me ruin this evening."

"Why would you ruin it?" Selene tilted her head curiously, "Did something happen while I was gone?"

"A waiter came by," Jace told her, trying to change the subject, knowing very well it's not what she had meant, "Asked if I wanted something to drink."

"Did they now?" Selene seemed to grow curious about it, "Did they...do or ask anything else?"

"Uhm, she seemed nervous, but it's apparently a busy night," Jace explained, unsure what the sudden interest was, "So, I can understand that. Asked if I wanted to order anything else while I waited."

"Did you?"

"No, just a drink," Jace shook his head as he smiled gently, "I...didn't want to order anything else without you."

He suddenly grew embarrassed as he realized what a mess he was in. "Shit...What a time to realize something..." His heart tore at him. He was split on what to do, but there was one thing for sure. He liked Selene. Wanted to know her more, and Liana...that would have to wait. He didn't know how to address that.

Not to mention, he didn't want to hurt Selene. She was just starting to explore her feelings, and if what she said is correct...she is feeling things for the first time. He didn't want to be the one to ruin that. If he messed up, would she be completely blocked off for the rest of her life? He grew concerned for her, and he didn't want that.

He wanted to see her smile. "Why did this have to get complicated?" He sighed to himself, looking over at her with soft eyes. At the very least, he could try and make this date a good one.

"So, when they return," Jace said as he fidgeted sheepishly, "We can order together, right?"

"...Right," Selene smiled softly, nodding, "That's very kind of you."

"I don't know about that," Jace shrugged, "I just-"

"Don't sell yourself short," She interrupted, leaning forward, resting her chin in her hands, "We haven't known each other a long time, but even I can tell...you are a kind individual."

"I've...murdered people," Jace muttered softly, furrowing his brow, "I don't know if that's kind."

You are reading story Love & Obsession: A Neo City Story at novel35.com

"It's Neo City," Selene dismissed his concerns, "You must learn to defend yourself. Sometimes...if you don't kill, others will kill you. You really think that makes you unkind?"

"I...guess you're right," Jace felt a little uncomfortable due to embarrassment from her acceptance, "It's life and death out on the streets. I killed my first person at 16, shortly after my mother was hospitalized."

"...Was it your first job?" Selene spoke quietly, her face impassive yet she seemed genuinely interested.

"Yeah," Jace nodded, thinking back to that day, "When my mother was hospitalized, I didn't have the money to pay right away. They gave me two weeks. My mother told me not to worry about it, but I couldn't just sit by and do nothing..."

-----

Jace worried about his mother. It was his fault she got sick. His fault she got beat so badly. His father lashed out in anger at Jace when his mother intervened. He was drunk again, and using those drugs he always huffed. Like an inhaler with a thin, blue vapor that exuded from his lungs.

His veins would glow and his muscled strengthened. Jace knew what it was. A mana stim. He heard about them on the streets. Some legal, others not so much. Jace had no idea what would happen when he felt the power rising within him.

Jace had said something his father didn't like. He thought Jace stole his money, when it was he who had already spent it. His father was out of his mind. For talking back, he went to hit Jace. His mother flung herself in front of him. Begging him to leave Jace alone.

That bastard smacked her, hard. He went into a rage unlike any other he had before. Jace could only stand there terrified. "Stop it..." The thought went through Jace's head as he saw his mother crash into the table in the living room. She was bleeding, bad. He wouldn't stop hitting her.

Jace was frozen in fear. He had never been strong. He was never able to stand up to him, but he had to do something. His mother was dying. She pleaded for her life. Asking him to stop. They had both suffered for years under this man, but nothing like that day.

An anger arose in Jace then, one that broke free his shackles of fear. A power that welled up inside of him. His father's veins glowed blue with power, pulsating as he continued to slap his mother. In a state of rage Jace roared. A power emanating deep within him.

Everything became clear as he sent the power towards him. His father turned in slow motion before he was hit with a blast of energy. It tore him from the ground, sending him flying across the room. At the same time the mana in his body collided with the magic Jace had conjured. The resulting collision caused an explosion.

As if on instinct, he conjured a shield over his mother as he rushed to her side. Uncaring about the man he just knocked off his feet and sent into the wall. His only concern was his mother, bloody and beaten. Bruised from years of abuse, now with newer, more severe injuries. She choked on her own blood, even as she raised a weak hand to her son's cheek.

She smiled through the pain, her words garbled, but he heard them clearly.

"Are you alright?" She asked such a silly question. Her concern for him was more than the concern for herself.

It tore at him, causing tears to stream down his face. It was Jace's fault. If he had only done something sooner. The man who was supposed to be his father regained himself as he pushed free from the rubble. The mist that lingered after the explosion settled around them. His father's eyes glowed as his entire body grew twice its size.

"You little shit!" His father roared in madness, "You stole my drugs didn't you!"

Jace turned his gaze upon the man. An anger rising inside of him. His eyes glowing neon blue as they leapt at him. With but a thought a blast tore into the man's arm. Blood sprayed across the room. His father screamed in agony before the loss of blood finally brought him into unconsciousness.

His mother's hand fell limp from his face as he glanced back down at her. She herself lost consciousness. His anger replaced by fear and worry. In his panic, he had nowhere else to turn to. With his newfound strength, he was able to carry his mother all the way to Radiance. He burst forth into the club with tears in his eyes, begging for help.

The Vesela's were more than willing.

As she lay in the hospital bed, Jace felt entirely responsible. He never stepped in, and when he finally did, the fallout from his conflict had diseased his mother. It wasn't contagious, which was good, but she was in incredible pain.

They told him the cost of the bill, and while the Vesela's chimed in to pay, he couldn't let them. He wouldn't let them. It was his responsibility, but what was he to do? His mother had regained some consciousness, told him everything would be fine, but he had to do something.

With guilt weighing on him, that's when he found it. A job brought to his attention. All he had to do was investigate someone. A man named Brunik was terrorizing the streets of the Stacks. An ex-Renegade member.

He staked him out, knowing the backstreets of The Stacks well. They were his playground. He ran them whenever he wanted to get away from his father. He knew them in and out. Finding Brunik was easy, but what he saw was difficult.

Brunik was a beast. Twice the size of any man he ever met. An image of his father flashed before him. He had thought him dead, only for the police to report his survival and subsequent arrest. Jace had felt spurned by the fact his father was still alive.

Brunik was that outlet. He was angry, and this man was just like his father. He held a poor woman by the neck, her clothes were in tatters as several others were dead around her. All with the mark of The Vixens upon them. What he was attempting to do them, the rage and pain inside of Jace erupted.

Jace remembered the feeling of power as he sent the lightning bolt towards Brunik's arm. Remembered the smell as it exploded in blood, bone, and cybernetics. Ozone hung in the air as Jace made his way from the shadows. All he had to do was watch Brunik, but he couldn't stand by.

Brunik rushed at him, even with one arm. The man knocked Jace hard into a wall. His breath knocked from his lungs as blood erupted from his mouth. He could taste the iron as Brunik began beating him senselessly. It was in that moment Jace realized something.

If he didn't do anything, he would die. His memories flashed to his mother. He was now in that same situation. He wasn't used to his powers, and that one lightning bolt was enough to cause Jace to become dizzy. That had allowed Brunik to get close.

He tried putting up a defense, what little Nadine had taught him before he went off. Yet, it was crushed in a mere instant with Brunik's hits. He was in a rage, fuming at Jace to die. He lost consciousness at least once or twice.

"Jace..." His mother's voice seemed to call for him, her smiling face in his vision. It was a bit cliche, but that moment was realization enough. He couldn't die here. He never killed anyone before, even his father who he had wished he killed. Though, he hadn't been in control of his powers then. Even now he held little control over them.

His father's face flashed over Bruniks as a sudden surge shot through Jace's body. As his arm came down again to beat Jace, he caught it. Surprising both himself and Brunik. He felt the force he held as a barrier stopped his fist. It was like a second awakening. The barrier encased Brunik's hand as he attempted to pull free, but Jace was not letting him go.

Jace's entire body shook as he stood. Electricity danced around his body as Jace felt the world spin. He was in a half daze as he took the man's other arm. Knocking him to the ground as he began to pummel him in return. Fueled by rage and fear he didn't stop even as the life left Brunik's eyes.

At some point, he had begun to beg for his life, but Jace ignored him. He didn't stop when his mother begged. He didn't stop when Jace begged. He didn't...He wasn't his father. This was Brunik. Albeit no better than his father.

His senses came back to him then. Covered in blood, his ribs were cracked, his insides felt like mush. Only the improved body of an Ascended saved him from worse injury and possibly death. Looking towards the woman, she was in terror as he reached a hand towards her.

She shrieked at him to stay back. He was confused, as he just saved her. But as he saw his reflection in a nearby window, he understood why. He barely recognized himself. His head was black and blue, his left eye swollen. Drenched in blood and gore.

It was in that moment he felt the sensations overwhelming him. Ozone and Blood, the stickiness of it all. The lifeless, limp body under him. His guts rose to the surface as he emptied his entire stomach. He had just killed someone, and in such a gruesome way. He dragged Brunik's body, almost unrecognizable, back to the one who hired him for the job.

They were both impressed and terrified as they paid him his money. When he returned to the Vesela's, they rushed to him as he collapsed. Worry filled their hearts as he himself was nursed back to health. After that, Nadine taught him in earnest. In order for him to never be in such a situation again.

-----

"I...still remember that day," Jace held his hands before him, looking at them with a blank expression, "I thought he was my father in that moment...I didn't want to die, but I didn't want to go that far, I-"

"Jace..." Selene's hand wrapped itself around his.

He felt he didn't deserve such a kind, warm gesture from her. Here he was on this date, realizing his love for Liana and telling such a sob story. Meanwhile, here Selene was, comforting him. Her often-clinical side disappearing as her tender hold on him wormed its way into his heart. Was it even okay for him to fall as he did for her in this moment?

"Sometimes, this world is harsh," Selene told him, squeezing his hand, "We do the best we can. You did what you had to in order to survive. I, at the very least, won't hold that against you."

"...Thanks," Jace gave a half-hearted smile as he held her hand back, "I thought I got over it, but it still haunts me. My father is still alive...the damage he caused is still there, and-"

"And you broke free from him," Selene's words washed over him, "Scars still linger, but you carried on. It's not easy to do."

"I...No, it isn't," Jace heard in her voice something similar, as if she understood, "Do you...know what that's like?"

Selene was silent as she passed her gaze out of the window, as if gazing towards New Eden.

"Something like it," She finally muttered, turning her attention back to him, her eyes taking him in with a soft look, "Let's turn our attention to something more pleasant, shall we?"

"...Yeah," Jace smiled, his heart skipping several beats, "I'm sure there will be plenty of time to talk more in the future."

"I'm sure there will be," Selene removed her hand from his as the waiter returned with his drink.

He felt a little empty suddenly, looking at his now lonely hand. It wasn't unpleasant, and he felt calm around Selene. Even back at the hospital after he regained consciousness, he found himself able to talk to her. He only ever felt that way around Liana. Now, with the two of them, he understood why.

-----

You can find story with these keywords: Love & Obsession: A Neo City Story, Read Love & Obsession: A Neo City Story, Love & Obsession: A Neo City Story novel, Love & Obsession: A Neo City Story book, Love & Obsession: A Neo City Story story, Love & Obsession: A Neo City Story full, Love & Obsession: A Neo City Story Latest Chapter