Chapter 9: Chapter 9: Ghosts of the Past

Chapter 9:

Ghosts of the Past

Nadine Vesela, Balek's wife and Liana's mother. A beautiful French Elf. Immigrated here long ago. Joined with the Nobles and met Balek. The two fell in love somehow, and soon became married. Not long after, Liana was born.

Before that, Nadine had made friends with Jace's mother, Delilah. They lost contact shortly before Nadine dated Balek, so Balek never knew about his mother except for what Nadine told him. When they finally got back in contact, Jace was roughly 5-years old.

Nadine was happy to invite them over and introduce them to her own family. Delilah made fast friends with Balek, and Jace was all bright smiles as he would run into Nadine's arms. She'd lift them up into the air, he'd laugh and giggle. Soon, those sounds stopped. He became more withdrawn the more abusive his father became.

It angered Nadine when she found out, but Delilah talked her out of doing anything. It would only make it worse. Nadine's response was simple.

"It won't make it worse if he's dead," she'd say with a devious smile on her face.

Delilah would laugh, hiding the pain behind her bright smile. A small part of her still loved that bastard. Liana saw Jace go through all the stages of grief. He was a child and couldn't do anything. She'd drag him along when he wouldn't leave his mother's side.

She knew just what cheered him up all the time. Some food, a little bit of games, and just looking out over the city. She knew the best of spots. As children, they connected on a level that only children could. Liana's feelings grew over time, while Jace couldn't see anyone like that. Liana understood and kept it inside. He was like family to her, and she to him. Even as he put up barriers. He never knew, and still doesn't to this day, the way she feels.

When he appeared at their door, distraught as he held his mother in his arms, they rushed to his side. He was covered in blood and afraid. He had awakened. He didn't know what to do. She was severely injured and had fallen ill suddenly. Small black veins were beginning to creep under her skin.

They saw his slow descent into obsession. They saw his immediate plunge into guilt. Nadine helped the best she could, but after two years...she passed away. He was just 18-years old. His mother had held up for so long, in and out of consciousness until Nadine passed. Pushed herself past her limits to save her family. To save Jace.

The guilt ate away at him. No one but him knew. It was his fault Nadine died. A job gone horribly wrong. Nadine came to his rescue. The first time he set foot in Palm Hills for a job, he was surrounded by swarms of Highrisers, the gang of the area.

Outnumbered and on the verge of defeat, Nadine came in like shining cavalry. Her lightning strikes tore apart their ranks. Her fire burned their bodies to ash. She bled from all the orifices in her head. Ears, mouth, nose, eyes. Yet, she still smiled as she held a hand out to Jace.

She never fully recovered. Anytime she used magic, it tore at her. She dismissed it as Balek spoke his concern, and soothed Liana as she looked worriedly at her mother. She was such a kind soul, and Jace got her killed.

So, then why? Why was she standing here now in that ethereal form? The teal shades of her ghostform should not be in his room. It should be with Balek and Liana, at their house as she always had been.

"Jace..." Her voice echoed firmly from behind him, that familiar French accent rolling off her words, "I know you see me. You know I'm here."

"...Why?" Jace muttered, curling up in his blanket, "You shouldn't be here...You should be back at your home."

"How could I be somewhere else when one of my children is hurting?" Nadine chided, and Jace could almost feel her crossed arms and stern gaze filled with love and stubbornness.

Jace had a unique talent among Awakened. The ability to see the dead. Even interact with them. They didn't always make an appearance, but they were there. Ever since her passing, she stayed with Liana and Balek. Watching over them.

He knew of her, but never said a thing. He didn't want to bring more pain to Liana and Balek. They'd think he was crazy if he told them Nadine was still around. That she was some sort of ghost. He always imagined they'd come to hate him if he told them. Especially since it was his fault she died. He didn't want to lose what little he had left.

"Look at me," Nadine ordered gently, "Enough of this."

"...I don't deserve it," Jace told her softly, "I got you killed...Now you're here to haunt me...to yell at me...It's all my fault."

There was silence as he felt a warm breeze pass over him. A weight fell upon his bed. He knew she was there. No one else could sense the things he could feel. Ghosts had no weight, but with him, they manifested.

He felt the soft, gentle hand of Nadine on his head. The warmth it once held, now reminding him of years long passed. Tears began to well up in his eyes.

"Do not tell me what I am here to do," Nadine chided lovingly, "Haunt you? Jace, you are like my own son. I am here to help you."

"...Why?" Jace asked, his tears beginning to choke his words, "I don't...I don't deserve that...You died because of me."

"Silly boy," Nadine sighed, her hand brushing his hair out of his eyes, "I chose to do that. Not you. I would do anything for those I love. Just as you would do...but I don't want you to die. They still need you."

"...They'd rather have you," Jace responded, her hand froze on the side of his face.

"Do you really believe that?" Nadine asked, her hand resuming after a moment, "You think they wait out there day after day because they don't want you in their lives?"

"...No," Jace muttered, his face contorting in conflict, "But I'm sure they'd-"

Nadine was no longer playing around as she grabbed his head. Being able to interact with him, she could easily touch him, and in so doing could force him to look at her. He tried to avert his eyes, but she'd have none of it.

Her beautiful hair tied in a loose side braid that fell down her left shoulder. She wore the clothes she always had. A simple t-shirt and jeans. She was a well-fit woman, even back then and it translated into her teal ghostly form. Her eyes, which were once a beautiful violet, now hidden by aquamarine.

"You know that's not true," Nadine told him, her features soft, "I didn't come here to see you like this."

"Then why?" Jace asked, his eyes downcast.

"I told you," Nadine smiled lovingly, "One of my children is hurt. I consider you my very own son. Delilah...was special to me before I met Balek. That wild woman..."

He had heard about it. That Nadine and Delilah may have had something going on before she disappeared on Nadine. The way Nadine spoke made it seem as if that were true.

"I promised her to watch over you," Nadine told him, cupping his cheek, "If something were to happen to her...I would take you in. Consider this me fulfilling my promise. Liana and Balek...they aren't the only ones I watch over."

Jace felt a bit embarrassed at her words, and even more guilty. Something about the dead, they could sense things others couldn't. Though, Jace had always been relatively easy to read.

"What is there to be guilty of?" Nadine asked, shaking her head in disbelief, "Honestly, do you expect to take on all the worlds' choices as your own? People make their choices themselves. You have no say over that."

"But if I didn't make mine...then they wouldn't-" Jace began to defend his destructive behavior.

"They still did," Nadine interrupted, "As you say, they made their choice. If you just sit doing nothing...they still have to make choices. Like waiting for you out there."

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Nadine looked towards his bedroom door. Jace followed her gaze, and the guilt entered his heart once more.

"Liana...She won't do what I'm doing," Nadine smiled warmly, "She's a good girl. Has my temperament, but...that serves her well. Won't let anyone walk all over her. Still, she cares about you."

"I make her cry...I don't want to," Jace told her sadly, "But, I have to work hard for my mother...I caused-"

Nadine shot a deadly glare at Jace who immediately went silent as he shrunk back into his bed.

"Jace," Nadine's words were firm, "That was not your fault. You saved her. If you had not done what you did, that bastard would have killed her. You know this."

Jace did know this, but it didn't help the fear and guilt. It's why he worked so hard. To make up for his mistake. His mother stopped him from beating Jace, only to turn on her.

"Listen, Jace," Nadine's tone grew softer, "Your mother loves you. I love you. She knows that you saved her. Only you think you didn't. She is alive, is she not?"

"Yes, but-"

"She is safe, is she not?"

"Yes, but-"

"Then...why are you moping here?" Nadine cut straight to the chase, "I know your heart and mind are a mess...I can't fix that entirely."

Jace felt disheartened, but Nadine wasn't finished.

"I am just but one part," Nadine's warm hand brushed his cheek, "I am simply here as a reminder. One of my children is hurting. It is a mother's duty to care for their children. I hope you do not mind me stepping in for her."

Jace shook his head, he always thought of Nadine like a second mom. He was just too afraid to accept it. Those he cared for often got hurt, and it came true when she died.

"I made my choice," Nadine playfully poked his forehead with a gentle smile, "You know what you need to do. The choice you need to make. One step at a time. Remember my teachings. Breathe. Focus. Think. Right?"

Jace looked into her aquamarine eyes. They pierced his very soul. She was right. Breathe. Jace took in several breaths. Focus. He focused on the events lately. He had an outburst and was banned from the hospital. He pushed himself to his limits, causing those around him to worry.

Think. He thought of the reactions everyone had. They weren't angry, they were concerned. They didn't berate him, they understood. He felt guilty, and that wouldn't change, but perhaps he could work it through. They were willing to help him, but was he deserving?

"Jace," Nadine called his attention to her, "You don't decide if you deserve something. Believe it or not. Others decide that."

She was right. He had no say over what others chose or said. Let alone what they believed.

"I...Still don't know," Jace curled up next to her, feeling the weight of his head rest into her lap, "I...miss you...they miss you. Yet, I'm the only one who can see you...feel you."

Nadine smiled gently, for in this moment it reminded her of the young Jace. So many years ago, when he'd curl up just like this and fall asleep in her lap. He was a sensitive child, always had been. His father's abuse hardened him, but not in a good way. He took so much on himself, but he didn't have to. She was happy to see him show that side of himself again. The vulnerability.

"I miss them as well," Nadine sighed pensively, "I am happy I get to see them at least. Maybe one day...You can show me to them, but for that, you need to get better. Don't push yourself too much. Know your limits."

"But you..." Jace cut his words off as Nadine knew what he wanted to say.

"Yes, I pushed myself past my own," Nadine laughed lightly, playing with his hair, "I'd do it again too. You are family. Loved and wanted. I'd do it for Liana, Balek, and Delilah as well. Only, it was you who needed me. Just like you need them right now."

"I don't know...if I can," Jace sighed, curling up more, "I'm afraid...I need to be strong. I have to..."

"Silly boy," Nadine chided again softly, "Do what you need to do, but don't be so foolish as to think you can't ask for help. If you don't, it'll just be forced on you."

"...Maybe," Jace smiled half-heartedly, a bit of his senses coming back to him, "I don't think this is gone."

"Of course not," Nadine chuckled, "It's never that easy. I'm just here to remind you. Now, it's been too long since you've last eaten. Magic can only sustain you for so long. Go, Liana is waiting for you."

"Liana..." Jace looked towards the door of his room, "She's been there every day, hasn't she?"

Nadine didn't answer, just gave a knowing smile. She knew of her daughter's hidden feelings for Jace, but never told him. He'd have to figure that out himself, or Liana would have to tell him. Right now, he simply believed it was family waiting for him. Someone who cared.

"What a foolish, silly boy..." Nadine's thoughts were her own as she helped Jace to stand. His legs were weak, wobbly. He looked around his room at the messy state it was in. She could feel his mind coming back to him, slowly.

"I...I've made them wait," Jace muttered, looking towards Nadine as she began to fade away, "How long?"

"...A week," Nadine told him, her fading hand on his cheek, "Remember, Jace. You're not alone. That guilt inside...you can beat it. I believe in you. I love you. Take care of yourself."

"I...Love you too," Jace wiped away the tears in his eyes as he watched her fade.

She wasn't gone, only returned to her home. To where Balek and Liana lived. Taking a deep breath, Jace steadied himself. His stomach growled as he realized just how hungry he was.

Stepping towards his doo, blanket wrapped around him, he reached for the lock. He composed himself for what was to come. He knew on the other side of that door was someone who cared. He braced himself for whatever would come. A soft smile curled his lips as he thanked Nadine silently for her words. Then, his hand swiped over the lock of his door. An audible *click* as it unlocked.

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