Chapter 75: Let It Burn

Two different possibilities, if I decided not to answer it then if it was an important call Cameron could get frustrated and I would feel guilty for not telling him. Second, if it was a private call he would get mad and from what I learned getting to know him in those few months, he wasn't someone who liked when you overcame his boundaries.

I took a long breath, my heart speeded so fastly in my chest, the sound penetrated in my ears and echoed in my mind.

Until...

Suddenly the phone ringing stopped.

Maybe it was faith sticking its hand out for me.

Maybe it was just a coincidence.

I took a deep breath and came back into my room.

About half an hour later I spotted his silhouette from the crack of the door, he walked to his phone and then into his room, locking the door.

I heard his voice but couldn't figure out what he was saying nor who he was talking to.

I guessed that was the result of finding out your almost-husband cheated on you, before discovering that bad news, the concern of someone calls' didn't even cross my mind by mistake. 

Cameron was nothing like Carl, yet I found myself in an empty room mentally praying he wasn't playing with me and that his feelings were just as genuine as mine.

If he disappointed me my heart would be completely destroyed and I would lose all faith in love. 

My irrational side yelled at me telling me to walk closer to overhear his conversation but I refused to do so. That was my valley and I would rather sell my soul to the devil than deplore my pride so much to do such a low gesture.

Yet, a few minutes ago I was on the verge of taking his phone and bringing it to him and I would lie if I said I would have held myself from checking the screen.

That was almost the same thing, on the same level.

What was I becoming?

The lump in my throat now reached my chest and soon my stomach too. I got a headache for overthinking that much.

Goddamn Carl for leading me on the verge of an emotional crisis. I will always hate you for that. 

Before finding out he cheated on me the thought of checking his phone would never have occurred to my mind. Now there I was almost letting my distrust almost control my urges. And Cameron never gave me the minimal doubt he must be playing with me.

I stared at the ceiling for a few seconds And then I darted my gaze back to the mirror. 

"Get yourself together, Lily." I scolded the reflection the mirror cast.

I took a long controlled breath and then when I was myself again I finally walked out.

His voice in the room stopped so I figured out he hung off the phone.

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He got out of his room and his face was clearly tense, he barely noticed my presence since his gaze was still on the phone.

I had cleared my voice to catch his attention and it worked since he immediately looked and smiled at me.

"I am sorry," he said, his gaze traveling on my new dress, which was shorter than the last one and a bit more conservative.

"You look great as always. I will never get bored of looking at you." He said as he took a loaded breath, almost as if he had a burden on his chest or if my beauty hurt him.

I wished I could tell him what I was on the verge of doing with his phone and that I also broke one of his rules involuntary -or almost involuntary- by telling my sister and my best friend about our relationship.

Because I found out how pure he was and that he didn't deserve to be lied to but as soon as I tried to do so the words got stuck in the back of my throat and no voice came out. 

I swallowed down, the lump got a bit bigger, lucky I couldn't cry because if I could I was sure I would release all my frustration in the shape of tears.

I forced a smile, "thank you." I whispered lower than I expected.

"Are you ready to go?" He asked and I nodded.

I got on the car, his hand set on my exposed knee as soon as I sat.

"I know you're probably sad because those days are gonna end soon. And trust me I am too. But I promise you, we will still see each other. I have no intentions of losing you, Lily."

He probably noticed the sadness of my gaze and although that was the reason behind it. If partly it was, I wished it would be that simple.

I smiled, leaning closer to him and kissing his cheek, he turned around and pressed his lips with mine. That sweet gesture made me laugh, "I am forever grateful for having met you, Cameron. You really saved me."

I confessed. 

My words shook him because he remained silent for some instant, "wow, Lily." 

was that too much?

"I felt the words penetrating through my bones and my heart heaving as result."

I did too, every time he complimented me or he said something sweet.

I covered his hand with my own, "hold on to that feeling and keep feeding fire. One day it will burn." I said.

I liked to refer to our connect as a flame, suffocated by the blowing of the potential risks we could face. It may burn us or enlighten the darkness of our life, giving us a light of hope.

The hope I referred to was the hope that my mistake would never change things. And we will eventually have the fairytale we deserve to have.

We just had to light the match and protect the little flame not to let it extinguish.

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