Gossip – First love

–It was my first love.

A younger brother who has been next to me since birth and grew up with me.
That was the extent of my initial perception.

It was in the third grade that my values changed.
I was being tangled up with a man of bad character, and my brother happened to be passing by and saved me.

“Will you leave my sister alone?”

He was unfazed by the men, who were probably stronger than he was, and stated his opinion without hesitation. I was startled by his words.

-How can he be so cool when he is supposed to be my little brother?

Suddenly, it occurred to me.

Gulp

He brilliantly exchanged fists with the men who tried to hit him, and on the contrary, beat him up.

The battered men made pathetic noises and left.

“It’s okay, nee san.”

Stunned, I am approached by a voice.
I could only respond vaguely, “Ah, yeah …….”

It made me realize the difference in power between me and Towa.
Towa is not a strong man, nor is he a fighter. In fact, he is not a violent person. I was stronger than him.

But that was when he was very young.

Now he is a dependable boy who can stand up to the bad patterned men all by himself. The unreliable younger brother Towa I knew looked like a different person.

Then my view of Towa changed. Of course, he is still my brother.

But sometimes I see him as one different family name who is not my …… brother.

It didn’t take me long to realize that I liked him from there.

But there was also a problem.
I compare to Towa in all the boys who confess their love to me and all the guys around me.

If he were Towa, he would do this, and if he were Towa, he would naturally think.

However, as long as I have an absolute relationship as siblings, my love will never come to fruition.

Because you can’t get married with a sibling. That is common sense and law.

Every time this love gets closer, it gets further away.

The law is an absolute barrier to my growing feelings, and only my feelings are walking alone. However, there is no destination and no place to return to.

I never confided in anyone and remained forever crouched in a corner of my mind. I felt very uncomfortable and weird about it. But I couldn’t do anything about it.

So I decided to think of it this way.

I have no right to love

——※——

[A new law will be enacted to allow marriages between siblings who are related by blood.]

When he said that at the press conference, I didn’t know what had happened for a moment.

Marriage between siblings …… means I can marry Towa ……?

The next step is to recognize that the confusion is about to dissipate.

The law that used to stand in my way is gone. I can fall in love with Towa.

“……What do think of this press conference?”

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I ask questions, being careful not to let him realize my subtle expectations.
Towa was also surprised

“What can you say?”
“Is onii chan embarrassed~?”

Sumika also has a happy tone in her voice.

After a while, Towa, who had been silent, opened his mouth.

“The best feeling I have about the siblings marriage is surprise.”

I was surprised.
In other words, he’s interested a little bit. I found myself relieved.

It was time to think about what questions to ask next.

“Hey”

Towa opens his mouth unexpectedly.

“I’m not sure if it’s a good idea for us to be able to get married to each other. Because we ……”

“We’re finished as a siblings to begin with.”

He told me crisply with cold eyes. The words repeated over and over in my head.

I am an idiot for voicing my envy. I am a jerk when such a thought crossed my mind.

I can’t make eye contact.
That’s right. What have I ever done.
I regret it every time I remember.

I glanced at Sumika next to me and saw that she was as frozen as I was.

“You know what you did to me? you rubbed me down and cursed at me. …… No matter how much siblings, it’s beyond the scope of teasing. I am not your housekeeper.”

He piles on the words to catch up.

Towa stared straight at me with anger flashing in his eyes.

Another Towa I have never seen before.
No, it’s not that I’ve never seen it, it’s that he has been holding back. He was letting it happen.

I had been relieving my frustration at not being able to find love by rubbing Towa the wrong way.

Towa is working for me.
Towa is thinking about me.

I was happy about that.

It is a plea to look only at me, masquerading as selfishness. At the very least, it’s exclusivity.

But it was not selfishness, but one-sided self-indulgence. I was treating him as a convenient housekeeper, not a younger brother.

Towa, perhaps dismayed to see us not talking back, said nothing more and quietly left the living room.

–I’m sorry, Towa.　

“………..”

My lips are tied tight as I think about it. Guilt and a sense of inferiority were boiling over.

By the time I realized it, it was too late.

It’s not a new thing that disqualifies me as a sister.
I know that just apologizing is not enough to be forgiven. But I have to move on.

I Close my eyes and take a deep breath.
A deep breath to calm down. But it makes no sense. My head is still confused.

What should I do?

What the heck am I supposed to …… how do I …….

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