Chapter 38: CH 38

After taking a shower, Lee Wooyeon came out to the living room wearing a shower robe and saw Choi Inseop dozing off sitting on the sofa. Lee Wooyeon swallowed a laugh. When he said, “Let’s talk after taking a shower,” and told him to wait for a while, Inseop’s whole body turned red and he nodded silently.

Lee Wooyeon honestly enjoyed the attitude of Inseop, who acted like a virgin who was dragged to the hotel even though he only said he was taking a shower. So he purposely took a shower more leisurely than usual and came out without proper clothes. He was going to relax and watch how much Choi Inseop was shaking.

But, was he sleeping?

“… ”

Lee Wooyeon sat on the sofa, put his hands together, and stared blankly at Choi Inseop, who was dozing like a sick chick.

Well, it was like that last time too. He even had a nosebleed because he was stressed, and then he covered his nose with a tissue and fell asleep. At this point, Lee Wooyeon was confused as to whether he was fearful or bold.

Lee Wooyeon sat across from Choi Inseop, who was sleeping. His left hand with bandage was hurt from the blade that was enclosed in the letter sent by the stalker and his right hand with a splint and half cast on was so pitiful that it was hard to believe that he was working as an actor’s manager.

Come to think of it, he lost some weight.

When he lowered his head slightly and looked at his twitching face, it seemed that his cheeks that had some baby fat had become slightly thinner.

It has been tough these days. He barely slept and waited all day on set. Inseop, like other managers, did not have the guts to joke around or do other things out of sight, watching the actors moderately, so he always stood there tensedly.

Seeing him dozing off, he even looked like a minor who had not yet graduated from school. It was unbelievable that a man who was so skinny had saved his life twice, no, three times.

When he remembered that Inseop gave him artificial respiration, his eyes naturally moved to his lips.

‘You put those lips on me?’

Lee Wooyeon touched the tip of his lips with his finger. He wondered how the cowardly manager would have rubbed his lips while trembling. He felt it a bit unfair that he didn’t remember that.

He decided to wake Inseop.

“Mr. Inseop.”

When he shook his slightly bent shoulders a couple of times, Choi Inseop jumped up from his seat, startled like a man on fire.

“No! I didn’t sleep! I just closed my eyes for a moment.”

“Wipe the drool off your lips.”

Inseop gently wiped the side of his lips with an embarrassed expression, but there was nothing. His face turned red at the thought that he had been pranked again.

“Are you tired?”

“No, I’m fine.”

“Are your hands okay?”

“Yes. Thank you for your concern.”

To be honest, it was still throbbing and hurt so much that he screamed whenever he swiped it, but Inseop responded like an adult, straightening his back.

“Okay. Then we can talk.”

“…”

Inseop thought it would’ve been better if he rolled over in pain. He couldn’t believe they were getting straight to the point.

He waited for Lee Wooyeon’s next words, not knowing where to look, as the cold sweat ran down his back.

“I have a question for you.”

“…”

Holding his heart that was about to burst, Choi Inseop looked only at Lee Wooyeon’s lips.

“Why me… … .”

“I had no choice. I thought you would be offended if you found out about it, so I asked other people to keep it a secret. I brush my teeth three times a day, and I don’t have any mouth-to-mouth disease.”

It was like a magic bag from which stories poured out with a slap on the side. When Inseop put his hand on his lap and looked ahead and uttered the lines he had prepared and memorized, Lee Wooyeon shook his shoulders and burst into laughter.

“Hahahaha, no, it’s not… hahaha, of course I was going to ask about that later, hahahaha.”

“… ”

“Ha ha ha, yes. But that’s not what I was going to ask, okay?”

“… … It isn’t?”

He was done for.

Why did he think that artificial respiration was the question that Lee Wooyeon had brought him to his place to ask? … He wished that someone could hit his body with a big hammer and shove him into the ground so that he didn’t have to face this.

“For now, let’s move on to that. Of course, I’m curious about the specifics, but I’ll ask later.”

“Yes…”

As much as possible, Inseop wished that the latter would not be asked before he left Korea.

“I am curious about something else. There is something you should know before answering.”

As he said those words, the smile on Lee Wooyeon’s face slowly disappeared. Instead, there was a cold look on his face.

“I don’t care about issues that don’t concern me whether someone else cheats on me or not. But I want to hear the truth at all costs when it comes to what I care about and what I’m curious about. Now I want to hear the truth.”

“… ”

Choi Inseop was scared because he wondered what kind of question he was trying to ask so grandly.

Maybe he found out something about him. Maybe he figured out that he was working as a manager under a fake identity

At that thought, his fingertips became cold and his lips were dry. However, not wanting to show that he was nervous, Choi Inseop tried to pretend nothing was wrong and raised his head.

“So, please answer my questions honestly. Can you promise me?”

“Yes. I will.”

Their eyes met. Lee Wooyeon asked Inseop the question in a calm and relaxed tone.

“Why did you save me?”

“What?”

“Why did you save me twice, even if I did something I can’t remember, three times, three times? Why?”

“That… ”

“Because I’m a human being, because I’m a manager,don’t give me the old-fashioned answer.”

It was embarrassing.

He expected Lee Wooyeon to ask a question that was out of the ordinary, but he never dreamed that such a question would come to him. In addition, when even the most plausible answers he could give were blocked, the thoughts in Inseop’s head evaporated like a white sheet of paper.

“It’s winter and you jump into the lake without any preparation. It;s suicide. This can be done in return for saving you from such a thing in the bathroom. But it’s too much for a reward.”

“…”

Lee Wooyeon continued to speak, counting on his fingers one by one.

“Artificial respiration is disgusting, but if you rinse your mouth later, that’s enough. But I don’t remember this, so I wonder if it’s true even after hearing it.”

“…”

Elegant, long fingers were bent a second time.

“But I really don’t understand what happened today. Because of what happened today, even the things that preceded it are actually confusing. So I really wanted to hear it. Why are you acting like a frantic person for not being able to save me from danger? Oh right. I’m also going to ignore the answer that it’s because you’re my fan.”

“… !”

After losing the last excuse to give, Inseop’s mind went blank. What the hell was he supposed to say?

“Think slowly. Because I have a lot of time.”

Lee Wooyeon leaned on the backrest and spoke casually. However, his eyes were on Choi Inseop and did not let go as before.

It felt like  his head was being pierced by the tenacious gaze. Choi Inseop let out a small sigh and began to desperately think of an answer.

“I… So … honestly…”

“Yeah, be honest.”

Lee Wooyeon decided that he will decide his course of action based on what answers Choi Inseop gives him. He realized today that he can no longer have Choi Inseop by his side for reasons such as not understanding him or that he was interesting to watch.

As CEO Kim pointed out today, he thought that it was only a matter of time before his dirty personality was revealed. If his personality was exposed and his image was damaged, he had to quit as an actor. He had earned enough money to survive for the rest of his life. He started his acting career in the first place on a whim to fuck his father over, who sent him to Korea as a form of curing himself. Then, it was not illegal to deceive people, and he made money to the point where his father’s blood pressure went up and he collapsed. Even if he had to quit his job as an actor, it wasn’t sad or difficult for him.

It was only unpleasant that he had to resign forcibly rather than by his own will.

Lee Wooyeon liked to control his emotions. However, if he was by Choi Inseop’s side, he often lost his reason. Today aswell, he felt a strong and warm emotion spreading in his heart the moment he saw Inseop, who ran to rescue him while trembling.

The tingling feeling around his heart was both unpleasant and somewhat awkward, making it uncomfortable. He didn’t want to be swayed by a feeling he had never felt before without knowing why.

“Tell me please.”

Lee Wooyeon stared intently at his manager, whose lips were moistened like a student being scolded by a teacher.

“I… I, someone, never again…”

He wanted to look elsewhere, but at Lee Wooyeon’s persistent staring, Inseop could not even turn his head, listing the words in his head.

“Never again … I don’t want anyone next to me to die or get hurt.”

Lee Wooyeon, who was looking at him with his hand on his chin, slightly frowned. Inseop took a breath and exhaled.

“As long as I’m by your side, I don’t want to let that happen.”

“After all, you are talking about the preciousness of life.”

Lee Wooyeon clicked his tongue as if he relaxed. Inseop stubbornly shook his head saying no.

“I am not talking about the preciousness or dignity of human life, but … It’s just my desire.”

He didn’t know if Lee Wooyeon would believe it, but everything he was saying now was sincere.

Choi Inseop never wanted to experience someone else dying again. Even if it was something that happened naturally in life, it was his honest greed that he didn’t want to go through something like that again right now.

“When my best friend died… I couldn’t protect her.”

Once the truth began to burst, it began to flow out like water from a hole in the bucket. Even though he knew he didn’t have to say these words, Inseop couldn’t stop his lips from moving.

“So I want to protect you. I don’t want to go through that loss again. This is just a personal desire. It is not a noble feeling of humanity.”

“Then you mean you’re going to save whoever it is? It doesn’t matter if it’s not me, right?”

Inseop did not see the crooked smile on Lee Wooyeon’s lips as he asked that question.

“No. It’s not like that… … While I am working as a manager next to you, during that time, if there is anything I can do… I want to do anything. It is all my desire.”

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It felt like a ball of fire was spitting out of his throat when he said that. It was sincere and true. Even if the day comes when he betrayed him, he wants to do everything he can until then. He wanted to do it even though he knew it was all greed, useless greed, and useless desires.

So, the moment Lee Wooyeon rolled off his horse, his body moved before his head could make a decision. Knowing not to approach the frightened horse, he ran to rescue him. Even when the horse swung its front paws and ran towards him, he embraced him without realizing it.

“I just want to. So it was… If you ask why, there is nothing I can say. I just want to do it, from my heart.”

It was useless to repeat to himself that he hated Lee Wooyeon and that he was a bad bastard. Even if he tried to make up his mind while thinking of Jennie, I had already gone so far in the past. Inseop had to accept that even if he betrayed him, he could never hate him.

“I just want to do something…”

Lee Wooyeon tried to mumble what Choi Inseop had said quietly in his mouth. Hearing what the other person was saying in his own voice made him feel weird, and Inseop’s face flushed brightly.

“Anything I want?”

“If it’s something I can do.”

“Okay, then.”

Lee Wooyeon pointed a finger at his lips and said.

“Then kiss me.”

“What?!”

“Kiss me. Now.”

As he listened to his words, Choi Inseop became confused as to whether the kiss he knew had the meaning. Inseop blinked his eyes and made a face that he did not understand the current situation.

“You say you can do anything you can. Artificial respiration or kissing, it’s the same thing. Isn’t it?”

“uh… Why… Why… This?”

“You can’t? Was what you said earlier a lie?”

When Lee Wooyeon said that like he was disappointed, Choi Inseop shook his head saying it was not like that..

“I didn’t just say it, but … Why are you saying this… ”

“I want to make sure that what Choi Inseop said to me is sincere. If you want to overdo it, you don’t have to. I will leave the answer to the question simply with love for humanity.”

Lee Wooyeon tried to get up from his seat. Inseop held on to him saying it’s not true. It was a desperate feeling. Strangely, he felt a sense of crisis that he had to convince Lee Wooyeon now.

“Everything I say is true.”

“Is that so?”

A faint smirk crossed Lee Wooyeon’s face as he asked that question.

“I can.”

Lee Wooyeon glanced down at Inseop’s fingertips trembling even while he was talking like that.

“Can you?”

“Yes.”

“You don’t have to push yourself. This is not an emergency like I’d run out of breath.”

“No, I…”

“Okay. Then I will close my eyes.”

“…”

He said it with great kindness. Inseop released the hem of Lee Wooyeon’s robe he was holding. His mouth was dry.

Even if he tried to sort out how things were going, his brain had stopped functioning a while back.

Blood rushed to his heart. He could feel the pulse all over his body.

Knowing that this was just Lee Wooyeon’s fickle test, he couldn’t help but be heartbroken.

‘Let’s calm down. This is just a test. A test to see if what I’m saying is true or not.’

“You won’t do it?”

Lee Wooyeon asked, slightly opening one of his closed eyes.

When Inseop faced Lee Wooyeon’s face with his eyes closed right in front of him, he felt his heart, which he had barely calmed down, pound like crazy.

There were days when he spent hot nights imagining what it would be like to kiss him. There were certainly moments when he blushed alone imagining the touch of his lips.

When he gave artificial respiration to Lee Wooyeon, who was rescued from the lake, their lips touched, but it was such an urgent moment, he couldn’t even think of a kiss or the touch of his lips. Later, he remembered that scene alone in his head, and his face got a little feverish.

However, Inseop also had no memory of the touch. And now, a new memory about him was on the verge of being created.

Choi Inseop slowly leaned his head forward and bowed his back. Lee Wooyeon’s cool breath was felt on the tip of his nose from a distance.

He thought he was going to die. He was so handsome that it felt unreal. That’s what all of this felt like. He felt like he was dreaming all day today.

He moved his lips a little further forward. His whole body trembled. It was far enough that Lee Wooyeon’s breath directly touched her lips. A little more, a little more.

The tip of his lips barely touched. Something touched the tip, it was a slight touch, but that alone was enough to kill Choi Inseop on the spot.

‘Oh My God. If I go on like this, my heart will really…’

At that moment, Lee Wooyeon opened his eyes.

“… !”

“It was a joke. I can’t even joke with Inseop. But I have no hobbies with men, so I can’t go beyond this.”

Lee Wooyeon didn’t know that the tip of his lips touched slightly, so he continued playfully.

“Sorry. Inseop doesn’t seem to have any hobbies either, so it was difficult, wasn’t it?”

“…”

“Okay. I’ll believe you. Can I believe what Inseop is saying? Ha ha ha ha ha.”

Lee Wooyeon gently bent his eyes and smiled broadly. This was a really fun situation.

However, for Inseop,it felt like cold water was poured on him. He felt like he was stripped of his emotions in front of Lee Wooyeon.

“Mr. Inseop, I’m joking… ?”

Lee Wooyeon looked down at Inseop’s face, whose shoulders were shaking.

“Are you crying?”

“…”

“Are you crying now? Inseop?”

He wanted to deny that this is not the case, but tears were already dripping down his chin.

It was only for a moment at Lee Wooyeon’s casual joke, but he hated himself, who was genuinely excited. HE wanted to die. It was so shameful.

“… I will go.”

This time, Lee Wooyeon grabbed Inseop’s arm as he was about to get up.  Inseop pushed to shake it off, hitting his fingertips on the sofa and curled up with a silent scream.

“――!”

“Srry. Mr. Inseop.”

Lee Wooyeon quickly grabbed him, lifted him up, and examined his face.

“Did you bump your hand? Are you okay?”

“I will go home.”

Tears fell nonstop. It was a mess. He didn’t know what it was now. Whether it was embarrassing to show tears in front of this man again, or whether it was shameful that he pushed his face in, trembling after being deceived by a joke.

Choi Inseop just wanted to go home. His broken finger hurts, his cut stung, his face was burning up…he hated myself

A few years have passed since then, but he was fed up with his foolishness of doing things without the ability to learn. He wanted to quit. It was obvious what kind of ending he would have if he stayed with Lee Wooyeon here like this.

Incompetent, let alone Lee Wooyeon’s weaknesses, he only cared about him, and discovered a lot of good points, so he’ll fall for him again. An idiot, a fool, the world’s biggest fool

‘I’m sorry. Jennie. I’m a bigger fool than I thought.’

“It was a serious joke. I didn’t mean to offend you.”

Lee Wooyeon raised his hand to Inseop’s face, who was silently crying, and tenderly offered an apology.

It was true.

It was just a joke he made for fun. The other person’s feelings were out of his control in the first place. He already knew that what Choi Inseop had said to him was true. He just wanted to make fun of him. He wanted to make it difficult.

He just wanted to see that face that was helpless because of him again.

Choi Inseop clenched his lips and tried to hold back the tears, but as soon as the tears formed around his eyes, they flowed down.

Lee Wooyeon saw that and thought that he was crying so beautifully. As an actor, he worked with many actresses and watched them cry a lot. Among them, there were some actresses who were praised for having a crying face more beautiful than a smiling face.

However, the appearance of Choi Inseop, who was biting his lips in front of him and silently dripping tears, was far superior to them. Normally, he had the impression that his features were a little too thin, but when he saw him crying, he looked strangely pretty.

Was he the person who cried with this face in the first place?

Lee Wooyeon held Inseop’s chin with his hand and looked at it carefully, thinking about it.

To be honest, it wouldn’t hurt to look at his crying face all the time, but it was too pitiful to just watch. He broke his finger for him today, so he thought he’d be kind for now.

“I will believe what Inseop said is sincere. So don’t cry.”

Lee Wooyeon hugged Inseop’s shoulder. Choi Inseop was startled and tried to push him away, but he strengthened the hand holding his shoulder. Then, he placed his head on Inseop’s shoulder and patted his back with the other hand.

“Do not cry. Okay? I am so sorry.”

“…”

“I was wrong. Mr. Inseop.”

The friendly voice vibrating on his back seemed more unrealistic, so Inseop shed tears for a while. ’Don’t cry, why are you crying like this, I look like a bad guy, I’m sorry, I won’t joke around anymore, I’m sorry for making you cry’, Lee Wooyeon, who was quietly consoling Inseop suddenly opened his mouth.

“I’m sorry for telling a crying person this–”

Fearing that he might say something terrible again, Inseop’s tears that had barely subsided became thick again. He wanted to cover his ears if he could.

Lee Wooyeon, who had been quiet for a while, opened his mouth.

“Would you mind rewriting the contract with me?”

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