Love in Another Life: My Gentle Tyrant
Chapter Twenty-Eight
‘No reason.’ Tonelessly.
‘En.’ Numbly, she nodded.
Suddenly, an echo pierced through the silence just as the blur of a figure shot past her –
What was that?
Flying past them in mid-air was a small figure, whose pair of snow-white wings were outstretched…
‘Little wolf?’ Xuanji was stunned.
The snow-white wolf did not seem to hear her. In a flash, it had already circled past the willow trees, extending its wings as it flew further into the Lin Gardens, leaving in its trail motes of fur, fluttering in the wind.
After a measured glance towards Long Fei-li, Xuanji did not hesitate further and dashed into the Lin Gardens.
Her heavy heart began to lighten as she thought: a wolf that could fly… was the little wolf healed? But why did it return? What if it ran into the King of the Wolves…
After walking a distance, Xuanji stared at the sight which met her eyes. The garden had transformed into an sea of blue, its grounds covered with endless blue petals, an aphrodisiac fragrance lingering in the air.
Xia Sang had once mentioned that the Lin Gardens was a place traditionally used for divination, so where should she go to find the little wolf?
‘Nian Xuanji, all the better if you died!’
The man’s low voice echoed from beside her ears, and Xuanji’s gaze landed at the hand which had wrapped around her waist.
‘Long Fei-li…’
Hadn’t he left?
Suppressing a tremor, she raised her head to look at him.
His side profile was striking. He did not look at her, his attention intense on their surroundings, as though something terrifying lay concealed behind the beautiful sea of flowers.
She did not understand… he was angry?
The arm around her waist tightened. With a swift jump, he leapt through the skies, holding her within his embrace. While she was still trying to recover from the dizziness of being high up in the air, he had already landed on a sturdy branch.
With a light pat of his palm, a few figures landed on the tree opposite theirs. In unison, their bodies curved as they knelt on one knee.
Without exception, all of them were dressed in pale violet robes, their faces masked.
‘If the snow wolf cannot be found within the quarter of an hour, leave.’ In a low voice, Long Fei-li commanded.
‘Yes, My Lord.’
Their voices seemed to linger in the air, but in the next instant, those figures had already vanished without a trace.
Surprised and overjoyed, Xuanji turned to look at the man who stood next to her.
Long Fei-li did not pay any attention to her. With an agile jump, he landed at another branch a few feet away from her. He sat down, his movements elegant.
Out of the corner of her eyes, Xuanji finally took in the ground for the first time and jumped in fright. One, two, three, four, five six… this tree was at least six stories high! As she saw the precarious position she was in, her heart quickly cooled – she was clumsily perched on the front end of the tree branch, where a careless slip was all that was needed for her to fall.
‘Your Majesty, can you help me across?’ She bit her lips and asked uncertainly.
Long Fei-li glanced at her, before saying with derision, ‘Just a moment ago, weren’t you very… en, unafraid of death?’
Xuanji reddened. As she made to say something, Long Fei-li paled. Before she could react, her body was already wrapped within his arms.
The piercing sound which cut through the still silence – those were… the howls of wolves?
She was pressed against his chest, her senses transfixed with the steady beat of his heart.
The fear which had risen within her slowly ebbed away.
‘Is the little wolf in danger?’
‘If the other wolves did not kill it, then it will not be in danger.’
‘…’
‘You should be more worried about yourself.’
‘You’re here.’
She suddenly recalled that overused phrase in novels – if you are by my side, I will be afraid of nothing.
And snorted with laughter.
Long Fei-li glanced at her.
‘When the wolves pass by us, I will throw you down.’
‘You won’t.’
‘Nian Xuanji, don’t you know – an Emperor never lies?’ He smiled indolently, his fingers brushing across her hair.
Her scalp seemed to tingle under his touch. Yet he did not seem to have spoken in jest.
‘Wouldn’t it be simpler if you didn’t save me to begin with?’
‘I’m even more willing to witness with my eyes your misfortune.’
‘You’re indebted towards me.’
‘I’ve already repaid you this life debt a few times over, isn’t it enough?’
‘Then why are you still holding onto me?’ Xuanji’s eyes brightened as she said, ‘Throw me down?’
‘Like this?’
The flash of danger which crossed Long Fei-li’s eyes was all the warning Xuanji had before she felt her body lighten, as well as the rush of wind by her ears. Her vision blurring, a instinctive scream rose to her throat.
That man really threw her down!
Her heart seized with terror and a thought jumped in her mind– would she die, just like that? The jerk Long Fei-li was as insane as Prince Zining!
As she neared the ground, she saw with clarity the deep blue petals which were scattered across the gardens, and squeezed her eyes shut. Yet a pressure tightened around her waist once more, and in the split second before she was frightened to unconsciousness, she was returned into his embrace.
Teasing laughter lightened the man’s eyes. ‘So embarrassing.’
Xuanji fumed as she said, ‘Long Fei-li, you’re crazy…’
Xuanji’s heart was still racing with fear and she could not be bothered to continue fighting with him, rubbing her chest as she exhaled heavily.
Long Fei-li’s expression was relaxed as he smiled faintly, as though her embarrassment amused him.
His smile was brilliant in the sunlight, and Xuanji quickly lowered her head. Earlier in the day, he had already caused much suffering towards her, and now, he nearly frightened her to her death…
Yet she did not hate him, even if he were unwilling for her to love him.
Even if, he detested her, and had did not even deign to touch her.
Except, if he did not love her, why did he constantly thrust her into the spotlight by pretending to favour her? And having painted her as a blinding target for everyone, why did he choose to save her, time after time, simply because of a debt from their childhood?
Why was a person’s heart so complicated and contradictory?
In her previous life in the 21st century, she had never dated. Within the imperial palace, she constantly crossed the path of danger, and her feelings which had bloomed were…
What did it mean to like a person, and what did the ‘love’ which Yuhuan and the rest often talked about mean?
Was it a misconception?
But at this moment, when she was held tight within his embrace, though she could not say clearly what that feeling within her heart was, she knew that if given choice, she wanted them to remain like this for a moment longer.
Yet he was not even willing for her to love him…
She smiled, her eyes downcast.
‘It’s finally going to rain.’ Long Fei-li’s expression grew serious.
‘Are we leaving?’ Xuanji asked anxiously. ‘But the little wolf is still in there –’
‘I do not care about that little beast. Why do you think I did not leave earlier?’
Hearing his words, Xuanji was confused, her hands twisting around his sleeves.
‘Wolves have a much keener sense of smell than humans. From the second we entered the Lin Gardens, they have already been observing us from a distance.’
‘They are planning to attack us? But why did they not strike earlier?’ Xuanji asked in alarm.
‘Attack us?’ Long Fei-li narrowed his eyes. ‘Thousands of wolves just to attack the two of us – you have really overestimated yourself.’
The bewilderment in Xuanji grew even as a jolt of fear surged in her heart – thousands of wolves.
Concealed behind those enchanting trees was actually such a massive pack of wolves?
‘The wolves have been waiting for the rain to fall.’ Long Fei-li’s eyes steeled, but his voice remained unchanging as he said, ‘If you and I are still alive after today, tonight, you can serve me.’
‘En – ah, Long Fei-li, what did you say?’
When the man did not respond, Xuanji grew impatient, and repeated, ‘Just like those two days, right?’
Long Fei-li furrowed his brows.
In a small voice, Xuanji explained, ‘I mean, lying on my back or on my stomach, then covering ourselves with the blanket and talking through the night… but no, didn’t you want… Consort An to spend the night with you?’
She stopped, turning her head away.
Long Fei-li laughed, his eyes curving into crescent-shaped moons.
And her gaze could not leave him.
Raindrops fell, bringing with them a touch of iciness as they trickled down her forehead to land on her eyelids. In an instant, the entire world seemed to have been blanketed with a curtain of rainfall, the sunlight hidden behind the storming clouds.
Although the two of them remained unmoving, the howls of the wolves continued to increase in their intensity. From afar, they were as majestic and terrifying as the galloping of a thousand horses in a war zone.
In spite of everything, Xuanji’s attention was not on the danger which was about to befall them. Instead, she stilled, her mind filled only with one thought: Long Fei-li was a devil –
He had bent down, and with his breath warm against her ear, he said quietly, ‘In Qiuying Pavilion, although you sacrificed yourself with those ten slaps, this little scheme is still passable. I believe Jixiang’s trip did some good – you could be worth teaching.’ In a deep voice, Long Fei-li continued, ‘But now, it appears as though you…’
Was he laughing at her foolishness? Xuanji bit her lips.
‘Or should I say, all that you have done are merely your attempts at feigning helplessness?’
The warmth of his breath vanished as he drew back to stare at her through slightly narrowed eyes, the corners of his mouth lifted in a half-smile.
‘I am not like you.’ Xuanji could not help but be infuriated. ‘I –’
‘It doesn’t matter.’
She stilled, and Long Fei-li’s hand reached into her robes, sliding down her curve of her chest to pause at her arm. As his palm brushed across her skin, a numb feeling not unlike a jolt of electricity surged through her and she shivered.
‘This is too easily discovered and cannot remain.’
This – abruptly, Xuanji realised what he was referring to.
The shou gong sha – the mark of a virgin woman.
‘Just now, when that pervert humiliated me, you were watching all along, am I right?’ Xuanji said quietly.
The unrelenting thunderstorm drenched her. Her hair was wet and the rainwater slid past her lashes and down her cheeks.
‘En.’
‘You were there the whole time, but you only allowed Xia Sang to make a sound much later –’
‘Yes.’
Her arm, raised high, was held within his unyielding grasp.
‘You dare to hit me?’
The rainwater had also drenched Long Fei-li. His hair was flattened against his temples as the raindrops trickled down the coldly defined planes of his face.
Xuanji clenched her jaw, anger in her eyes.
‘I am your woman, and you let your brother humiliate me like this?’
‘Did I not save you?’ His grip around her wrist tightened a fraction.
He did not show mercy in his strength, watching as her face paled from grief and disbelief.
The rainwater stung her eyes, making it difficult for them to remain open, yet Xuanji fought to widen them, to see with complete clarity the face of this callous man who stood before her.
In a hoarse voice, she repeated, ‘Save? You calculated and you deliberated… why didn’t you step forward immediately when you saw what he did to me? Why did you still have to think, why did you still have to endure? Because only by doing so will manage to salvage the relationship between you and that jerk Long Liyu, am I right?’
‘Long Fei-li – how could you do this?’
Long Fei-li only smiled.
She was crying, and he was smiling.
Blinding pain shot through her wrist, and she seemed to hear the fracturing of her bones. Her face whitened yet she bit her lips, refusing to plead for mercy.
‘Nian Xuanji, who do you think you are?’
Finally, beyond the fall of the thunderstorm, she heard his voice, colder than the rain.
‘If Nian Xuanji had never saved that child, would you not even have stepped out? Would you have remained hidden, to let your brother –’
Her voice choked.
She raised her head, staring at him.
With her other hand, free from his hold, she tugged at her outer robes, exposing in full view the reddish-purple hues on her neck – the marks left behind by Long Liyu’s flagrant advances on her.
‘Do you not care about this either?’ Her eyes did not leave his face.
His knuckles whitened, and the pain in her wrist sharpened. Blood flowed from her lips which had been bitten raw.
He was… angered?
His eyes were as subdued as a bottomless lake, as glacial as the snow-capped ice of a mountain a thousand years old.
Tightly, Xuanji squeezed her eyes shut, forcing herself to think that it was only the raindrops which were sliding down her cheeks.
Her hand was ruthlessly released, recoiling to knock against the branch of the tree, sending another sharp pain up her arm. As she fought to regain her senses, she heard the sound of cloth tearing.
In the next instant, her body was roughly lifted by his arms as he pressed her atop his thighs, separating her legs.
Fear rose within her heart and she looked straight at him, only to fall into the tyrannical depths of his eyes.
Xuanji did not even have the time to comprehend what that dark emotion within Long Fei-li’s eyes was when he had already pressed his lips against her neck.
There was no tender affection, only punishment. His kiss was forceful, as though he was unaware of his strength. His hands tugged at her inner robes, his palm sliding across her skin. She could feel the calluses on his palms.
Without reason, Xuanji thought of that day in the Lin Gardens, when he had stood with a sword in his hand as he protected her from the circle of wolves, his posture unyielding.
She raised a hand around his neck, her fingers trembling.
‘Long Fei-li, Long Fei-li…’
He punished her and he humiliated her, yet she could not help the sadness in her heart nor the undeniable… love.
‘You are unwilling for me to like you, but I already like you. I like you, and I can change and stop giving you trouble, and you don’t have to like me, but… can’t you treat me a little better? Don’t let him do that to me…’ Through her tears that fell, she whispered.
Chapter 28: CH 28
‘No reason.’ Tonelessly.
‘En.’ Numbly, she nodded.
Suddenly, an echo pierced through the silence just as the blur of a figure shot past her –
What was that?
Flying past them in mid-air was a small figure, whose pair of snow-white wings were outstretched…
‘Little wolf?’ Xuanji was stunned.
The snow-white wolf did not seem to hear her. In a flash, it had already circled past the willow trees, extending its wings as it flew further into the Lin Gardens, leaving in its trail motes of fur, fluttering in the wind.
After a measured glance towards Long Fei-li, Xuanji did not hesitate further and dashed into the Lin Gardens.
Her heavy heart began to lighten as she thought: a wolf that could fly… was the little wolf healed? But why did it return? What if it ran into the King of the Wolves…
After walking a distance, Xuanji stared at the sight which met her eyes. The garden had transformed into an sea of blue, its grounds covered with endless blue petals, an aphrodisiac fragrance lingering in the air.
Xia Sang had once mentioned that the Lin Gardens was a place traditionally used for divination, so where should she go to find the little wolf?
‘Nian Xuanji, all the better if you died!’
The man’s low voice echoed from beside her ears, and Xuanji’s gaze landed at the hand which had wrapped around her waist.
‘Long Fei-li…’
Hadn’t he left?
Suppressing a tremor, she raised her head to look at him.
His side profile was striking. He did not look at her, his attention intense on their surroundings, as though something terrifying lay concealed behind the beautiful sea of flowers.
She did not understand… he was angry?
The arm around her waist tightened. With a swift jump, he leapt through the skies, holding her within his embrace. While she was still trying to recover from the dizziness of being high up in the air, he had already landed on a sturdy branch.
Without exception, all of them were dressed in pale violet robes, their faces masked.
‘If the snow wolf cannot be found within the quarter of an hour, leave.’ In a low voice, Long Fei-li commanded.
‘Yes, My Lord.’
Their voices seemed to linger in the air, but in the next instant, those figures had already vanished without a trace.
Surprised and overjoyed, Xuanji turned to look at the man who stood next to her.
Long Fei-li did not pay any attention to her. With an agile jump, he landed at another branch a few feet away from her. He sat down, his movements elegant.
Out of the corner of her eyes, Xuanji finally took in the ground for the first time and jumped in fright. One, two, three, four, five six… this tree was at least six stories high! As she saw the precarious position she was in, her heart quickly cooled – she was clumsily perched on the front end of the tree branch, where a careless slip was all that was needed for her to fall.
‘Your Majesty, can you help me across?’ She bit her lips and asked uncertainly.
Long Fei-li glanced at her, before saying with derision, ‘Just a moment ago, weren’t you very… en, unafraid of death?’
Xuanji reddened. As she made to say something, Long Fei-li paled. Before she could react, her body was already wrapped within his arms.
The piercing sound which cut through the still silence – those were… the howls of wolves?
She was pressed against his chest, her senses transfixed with the steady beat of his heart.
The fear which had risen within her slowly ebbed away.
‘Is the little wolf in danger?’
‘If the other wolves did not kill it, then it will not be in danger.’
‘…’
‘You should be more worried about yourself.’
‘You’re here.’
She suddenly recalled that overused phrase in novels – if you are by my side, I will be afraid of nothing.
Long Fei-li glanced at her.
‘When the wolves pass by us, I will throw you down.’
‘You won’t.’
‘Nian Xuanji, don’t you know – an Emperor never lies?’ He smiled indolently, his fingers brushing across her hair.
Her scalp seemed to tingle under his touch. Yet he did not seem to have spoken in jest.
‘Wouldn’t it be simpler if you didn’t save me to begin with?’
‘I’m even more willing to witness with my eyes your misfortune.’
‘You’re indebted towards me.’
‘I’ve already repaid you this life debt a few times over, isn’t it enough?’
‘Then why are you still holding onto me?’ Xuanji’s eyes brightened as she said, ‘Throw me down?’
‘Like this?’
The flash of danger which crossed Long Fei-li’s eyes was all the warning Xuanji had before she felt her body lighten, as well as the rush of wind by her ears. Her vision blurring, a instinctive scream rose to her throat.
That man really threw her down!
Her heart seized with terror and a thought jumped in her mind– would she die, just like that? The jerk Long Fei-li was as insane as Prince Zining!
As she neared the ground, she saw with clarity the deep blue petals which were scattered across the gardens, and squeezed her eyes shut. Yet a pressure tightened around her waist once more, and in the split second before she was frightened to unconsciousness, she was returned into his embrace.
Teasing laughter lightened the man’s eyes. ‘So embarrassing.’
Xuanji fumed as she said, ‘Long Fei-li, you’re crazy…’
Xuanji’s heart was still racing with fear and she could not be bothered to continue fighting with him, rubbing her chest as she exhaled heavily.
Long Fei-li’s expression was relaxed as he smiled faintly, as though her embarrassment amused him.
Yet she did not hate him, even if he were unwilling for her to love him.
Even if, he detested her, and had did not even deign to touch her.
Except, if he did not love her, why did he constantly thrust her into the spotlight by pretending to favour her? And having painted her as a blinding target for everyone, why did he choose to save her, time after time, simply because of a debt from their childhood?
Why was a person’s heart so complicated and contradictory?
In her previous life in the 21st century, she had never dated. Within the imperial palace, she constantly crossed the path of danger, and her feelings which had bloomed were…
What did it mean to like a person, and what did the ‘love’ which Yuhuan and the rest often talked about mean?
Was it a misconception?
But at this moment, when she was held tight within his embrace, though she could not say clearly what that feeling within her heart was, she knew that if given choice, she wanted them to remain like this for a moment longer.
Yet he was not even willing for her to love him…
She smiled, her eyes downcast.
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A drop of water landed on her eyelashes, and she froze. Just moments ago, the sun had been shining brightly… Xuanji felt the arm around her tighten even further.‘It’s finally going to rain.’ Long Fei-li’s expression grew serious.
‘Are we leaving?’ Xuanji asked anxiously. ‘But the little wolf is still in there –’
‘I do not care about that little beast. Why do you think I did not leave earlier?’
Hearing his words, Xuanji was confused, her hands twisting around his sleeves.
‘Wolves have a much keener sense of smell than humans. From the second we entered the Lin Gardens, they have already been observing us from a distance.’
‘They are planning to attack us? But why did they not strike earlier?’ Xuanji asked in alarm.
‘Attack us?’ Long Fei-li narrowed his eyes. ‘Thousands of wolves just to attack the two of us – you have really overestimated yourself.’
The bewilderment in Xuanji grew even as a jolt of fear surged in her heart – thousands of wolves.
‘The wolves have been waiting for the rain to fall.’ Long Fei-li’s eyes steeled, but his voice remained unchanging as he said, ‘If you and I are still alive after today, tonight, you can serve me.’
‘En – ah, Long Fei-li, what did you say?’
When the man did not respond, Xuanji grew impatient, and repeated, ‘Just like those two days, right?’
Long Fei-li furrowed his brows.
In a small voice, Xuanji explained, ‘I mean, lying on my back or on my stomach, then covering ourselves with the blanket and talking through the night… but no, didn’t you want… Consort An to spend the night with you?’
She stopped, turning her head away.
Long Fei-li laughed, his eyes curving into crescent-shaped moons.
And her gaze could not leave him.
Raindrops fell, bringing with them a touch of iciness as they trickled down her forehead to land on her eyelids. In an instant, the entire world seemed to have been blanketed with a curtain of rainfall, the sunlight hidden behind the storming clouds.
Although the two of them remained unmoving, the howls of the wolves continued to increase in their intensity. From afar, they were as majestic and terrifying as the galloping of a thousand horses in a war zone.
In spite of everything, Xuanji’s attention was not on the danger which was about to befall them. Instead, she stilled, her mind filled only with one thought: Long Fei-li was a devil –
He had bent down, and with his breath warm against her ear, he said quietly, ‘In Qiuying Pavilion, although you sacrificed yourself with those ten slaps, this little scheme is still passable. I believe Jixiang’s trip did some good – you could be worth teaching.’ In a deep voice, Long Fei-li continued, ‘But now, it appears as though you…’
Was he laughing at her foolishness? Xuanji bit her lips.
‘Or should I say, all that you have done are merely your attempts at feigning helplessness?’
The warmth of his breath vanished as he drew back to stare at her through slightly narrowed eyes, the corners of his mouth lifted in a half-smile.
‘I am not like you.’ Xuanji could not help but be infuriated. ‘I –’
‘It doesn’t matter.’
She stilled, and Long Fei-li’s hand reached into her robes, sliding down her curve of her chest to pause at her arm. As his palm brushed across her skin, a numb feeling not unlike a jolt of electricity surged through her and she shivered.
‘This is too easily discovered and cannot remain.’
The shou gong sha – the mark of a virgin woman.
‘Just now, when that pervert humiliated me, you were watching all along, am I right?’ Xuanji said quietly.
The unrelenting thunderstorm drenched her. Her hair was wet and the rainwater slid past her lashes and down her cheeks.
‘En.’
‘You were there the whole time, but you only allowed Xia Sang to make a sound much later –’
‘Yes.’
Her arm, raised high, was held within his unyielding grasp.
‘You dare to hit me?’
The rainwater had also drenched Long Fei-li. His hair was flattened against his temples as the raindrops trickled down the coldly defined planes of his face.
Xuanji clenched her jaw, anger in her eyes.
‘I am your woman, and you let your brother humiliate me like this?’
‘Did I not save you?’ His grip around her wrist tightened a fraction.
He did not show mercy in his strength, watching as her face paled from grief and disbelief.
The rainwater stung her eyes, making it difficult for them to remain open, yet Xuanji fought to widen them, to see with complete clarity the face of this callous man who stood before her.
In a hoarse voice, she repeated, ‘Save? You calculated and you deliberated… why didn’t you step forward immediately when you saw what he did to me? Why did you still have to think, why did you still have to endure? Because only by doing so will manage to salvage the relationship between you and that jerk Long Liyu, am I right?’
‘Long Fei-li – how could you do this?’
Long Fei-li only smiled.
She was crying, and he was smiling.
Blinding pain shot through her wrist, and she seemed to hear the fracturing of her bones. Her face whitened yet she bit her lips, refusing to plead for mercy.
Finally, beyond the fall of the thunderstorm, she heard his voice, colder than the rain.
‘If Nian Xuanji had never saved that child, would you not even have stepped out? Would you have remained hidden, to let your brother –’
Her voice choked.
She raised her head, staring at him.
With her other hand, free from his hold, she tugged at her outer robes, exposing in full view the reddish-purple hues on her neck – the marks left behind by Long Liyu’s flagrant advances on her.
‘Do you not care about this either?’ Her eyes did not leave his face.
His knuckles whitened, and the pain in her wrist sharpened. Blood flowed from her lips which had been bitten raw.
He was… angered?
His eyes were as subdued as a bottomless lake, as glacial as the snow-capped ice of a mountain a thousand years old.
Tightly, Xuanji squeezed her eyes shut, forcing herself to think that it was only the raindrops which were sliding down her cheeks.
Her hand was ruthlessly released, recoiling to knock against the branch of the tree, sending another sharp pain up her arm. As she fought to regain her senses, she heard the sound of cloth tearing.
In the next instant, her body was roughly lifted by his arms as he pressed her atop his thighs, separating her legs.
Fear rose within her heart and she looked straight at him, only to fall into the tyrannical depths of his eyes.
Xuanji did not even have the time to comprehend what that dark emotion within Long Fei-li’s eyes was when he had already pressed his lips against her neck.
There was no tender affection, only punishment. His kiss was forceful, as though he was unaware of his strength. His hands tugged at her inner robes, his palm sliding across her skin. She could feel the calluses on his palms.
Without reason, Xuanji thought of that day in the Lin Gardens, when he had stood with a sword in his hand as he protected her from the circle of wolves, his posture unyielding.
She raised a hand around his neck, her fingers trembling.
‘Long Fei-li, Long Fei-li…’
He punished her and he humiliated her, yet she could not help the sadness in her heart nor the undeniable… love.
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