Her heart full of love was put down into shame by him.
However, she still refused to change. She would burst with joy because of his coincidental smile or when he glanced at her unknowingly.
Until she saw him embracing a woman before her.
She only found out later that he was not always that cold, that he was disinterested in women… that he too was capable of loving.
“Do you know how I felt? I didn’t even want to live anymore.” Shen Wei suddenly opened her eyes. They were filled with tears. It was not that she was not in pain; she just did not want to talk about it. Even the mere mention of it ripped her apart from the inside.
“What about your parents?”
Xia Ruoxin asked carefully.
“They’re no longer here because of my willfulness.” She smiled sadly.
“Do you want more? This is just the first half of the story,” Shen Wei asked.
Xia Ruoxin closed her eyes. For some reason, her heart ached when she heard the first half of the story as if she was the person in question.
Shen Wei turned her body over. She smiled, but there were tears between her lips. “You can trade one half for my half. I’ll give you the other half if we can leave this place. Of course, you owe me half a story, too.”
“Okay.” Xia Ruoxin knew that she was listening and had no sleep. For some reason, neither of them slept that night. Perhaps because of the story, the half-stories.
Shen Wei was not the first to hear Xia Ruoxin’s story. Gao Yi was the first to hear it, but she did not know if they could ever meet again. She did not want to touch her story in the past because it was full of wounds and pain, a past built on her flesh and blood. As a child, her mother used her as a tool to pleasure her stepfather and stepsister. Because of hatred, she married Chu Lui and destroyed herself in the process.
She broke her heart and her body, hurt her arm, and had her daughter.
She told her half because Shen Wei knew the second half of her story. She was never a part of Shen Wei’s story, but the former spent a good amount of time in her past.
She helped her through her darkest days, appearing when she needed help the most. Without her, Xia Ruoxin did not know what things would be like for her now.
‘Thanks’ was not even enough for this. She just hated that she did not have the ability. Perhaps they would both die here, and she would never get to hear the other half of the story.
“Shen Wei…”
“En?” She replied softly, as if asleep. However, Xia Ruoxin knew that she was awake; neither was it possible for her to sleep.
“Can I know his name?”
“Sure.” Shen Wei opened her eyes and smiled sarcastically. “His name is Jerk, or you can call him *sshole.”
Xia Ruoxin closed her eyes. Okay, I’m sleeping now.
There was a cold wind blowing in from somewhere. It was the kind of cold that she felt in her bones.
“I hope that the river will still be frozen tomorrow.” Xia Ruoxin suddenly opened her eyes. If that were the case, they could rest another day. However, it did not really matter either way. When the ice melted, they still had to go into the freezing water.
She wondered how long they would last.
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She wondered when they would not have to put up with it.
By that, she meant death.
She reached out her hand, sketching something on the wall with her fingers.
A few lines captured her Rainy. She wondered if she had grown bigger and taller.
A few more lines. It was Gao Yi. How are you? Either way, I hope you’re doing well.
A few more strokes, and her finger paused.
Chu Lui, if I’m no longer here, please take good care of Rainy.
She closed her eyes and slept. However, the cold wind caught her tears. She tried to wipe them away, but all there was left was coldness.
As usual, someone came by to knock on the door the next day. Asides from the banging of the door, one could hear the winds from outside. It was clear that it was going to be another freezing day.
“Looks like you’re going to be disappointed,” Shen Wei said to Xia Ruoxin as she got dressed.
“Yeah, I should have said that it would thaw. Maybe then, it would really be frozen.” She smiled.
“It’s useless.” Shen Wei had already gotten out of bed. She was still barefooted as if she were unaffected by the cold. She went to freshen up, as did Xia Ruoxin. They were the only two who kept up these habits.
Not because they wanted to keep clean, but because they wanted to remind themselves of a normal life, that they were humans and not commodities.
Recoiling, Xia Ruoxin felt like her teeth were going to freeze. She reached her finger into the river and recoiled immediately.
“It’s so cold it makes me want to cry.”
“Then, did you cry?” Shen Wei stood up and prepared for work.
“Clearly not.” Xia Ruoxin followed suit. Her feet were full of sores, but she was already numb. However, no matter how numb she was, it was still cold; and she was still in pain.
Her face was bare, and there were no tears.
She put both her feet into the river and began a day’s work, hoping to get some gold. That way, she could eat more and save up some energy.
She empties the sand into the river and scooped up some more. Her fingers knew what to do. She knew what was and was not there just by touching.
Sadly, there was nothing.
Just like this, she repeated her action until she found something different, a sensation different from that of sand. Something softer and smoother. She opened her eyes and carefully moved the sand away. There it was, a grain of gold.
She sighed. Thank God, I found one. I’ll get a bowl of hot soup tonight.
She went back to the shore, not wanting to go back anymore. To them, going into the water was physical and mental torture.
She traded the grain of gold for a big bowl of hot soup and two biscuits to share with Shen Wei.
“Doesn’t your heart hurt when you share food with me?”
Shen Wei took a sip, and she felt her body warm up.
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