Chapter 158: Pain

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CHAPTER 158

Just hearing her friend speak this way about Xander, Macy did not know what to say to comfort the troubled Jade. 

"I love him, Macy." She stood up from the bed. She wanted to say something more. So much in fact but words could not describe how she felt at that moment.

Jade raised her hands a bit to gesticulate and just paused with her lips wide open.

After some seconds of searching for the right words and found none, she dropped her hands and closed her mouth in utter surrender.

She turned her head in Macy's direction and with a sad smile she said, "I do not know how to describe it girl, but I love Xander with all of my being. I love him, Macy."

She finally turned and faced Macy before staring at her friend with unblinking baby eyes. "Am I wrong to feel this way? Am I unreasonable, Macy? Tell me. I need to know and I want to know if my desires and feelings are all wrong."

"Baby."

"Macy." She still had her precious smile on her face but what followed next was a trail of tears. Macy became confused instantly. It felt like her brain was thrown off into limbo.

How… What could, make her friend start crying all of a sudden? At one moment she was happy and now… Sigh!

"Jade," Macy called her name calmly and got up then made her way to where Jade stopped. "Why?"

She searched deep into those beautiful hazel green eyes of her friend to find the correct answer to the silent questions she was asking Jade but all she found was a myriad of emotions in them.

"Jade, please." She knew what was about to happen even before it did happen but the moment the words fell out of her lips, that was the end.

Jade could no longer stop herself and like a torrent, her tears began to flow down her cheeks ceaselessly.

Macy quickly held her and pulled her in for a hug. Slowly she let her hands slide down and up the back of her dear friend.

She could not say she understood how Jade felt fully as she was not the one in her shoes but to a large extent she did understand her. It wasn't easy being in love with a constant reminder that the threat on your head still hangs high, while also keeping your greatest secret from the one you love the most.

"Macy, why?" Jade asked in tears. 

"Because that is just how life is my dear. One day all of your whys would be answered, my dear."

"But you want him and can I not just for once say no to this burden and free my mind, heart, and brain from this hurt?"

"You can my dear and that was what you were trying to do earlier on but I guess Jay and Sky were just too naughty to leave Xander alone and what was worse it was a matter that concerned one that you held close to your heart."

She pulled away from the hug but her hands still remained on her friend's back and she managed to force out a pleasant smile. "Do not look at me like that Jade, I know my smile is terrible now but what can I do? I need to make you cheer up."

"Thanks."

'It is what friends are for, dear. I cannot begin to say I understand what you are going on fully considering but I do want you to know this, Jade, when I was conflicted on dating Jay, you were there for me and although you did not want me rushing things and all, I am glad I did."

"I am happy for you."

"Thanks and I want to be happy for you too. Never since the day thjat I made that decision, never have I regretted it one day. I always bless the day at the resort when I saw you and Xander agree… when you told him about how you feel for him. It gave me the courage to carry on and tell Jay as well."

All Jade could do with her tears still flowing out was to manage a smile at her friend. She was happy she helped her find happiness.

"Jade I want you to know that whatever decision in which you choose to take, it would be the right one. I have watched you grow for quite some time now and I know you excel in all that you do. Trust your heart babe. I always look up to you and never have I regretted it when I do. You can figure out what your heart really wants. Is it your revenge or is it your love?"

"Can't I have both?" Jade asked sincerely but even she knew the answer to that her question, yet she asked looking for that glimmer of hope in the dark.

"Jade, know this, if there is anyone that can have both, it is you. If there is anyone that can do it, it is you. I cannot ask you to choose love or revenge or chose revenge over love but I wish I could tell you the latter as the former, you deserve a life better than that."

"Macy." She was about to protest when her friend raised her hands to stop her.

"Let me finish." Jade nodded her head in understanding and waited for her friend. As she did that, she gently brushed off the tears on her face using the back of her palm.

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"In as much as I am tempted to do that very thing of begging you to choose love over revenge, I cannot deny the fact that you were hurt the most. You had all you cared about taken from you in one single night with your best friend dying in front of your eyes. That was brutal."

Jade's face dulled even further when Asia was mentioned. 

Her mind played a trick of its own taking her down memory lane to the moment of the event.

'BANG!'

The sound of the gunshot reverberated in her mind, pulling her back to reality and shutting her into a traumatic experience.

"Jade."

"I… Asia shouldn't have died because of me."

"Exactly my point." Macy paused and watched as her friend cried her eyes out. "They all deserve to be avenged and only you can do that. You know how much it hurts and you may not even feel at ease until you are sure they get what they deserve coming to them. Regardless, you are still a human being and among the living. You have your life to live baby girl."

"I do, don't I?"

"Yes Jade and look, life brought Xander your way. You can have both. I mean your sweet revenge and your love life. You do not need to let anyone suffer for the other. They are a part of your life both duty and love," Macy encouraged her.

"You can do it, Jade. You can still protect Arctic from that beast of a human being Zale and while at that, I would like for you to give your relationship a chance, it deserves this as well. Xander also deserves so much from you. Love him, let your heart lead you, and trust that you would not make a mistake."

"Okay. I will. Trust my heart and I won't make a mistake," Jade said out loud then chanted it in her mind.

Just to help further, Macy hugged her close and patted her back for some time just as she loved her mother too.

"That's right my dear. You can do it. You and only you are capable to do it."

They spent some seconds just holding onto each other and basking in the comfort the other gave.

Ring! Ring!

And just when Jade was actually not feeling on the fence anymore and was enjoying her quiet time to think about what she wanted, she got a call.

Both Macy and herself pulled away from the hug so she could check who the caller was.

Her eyes widened when she saw the number. She knew who it was even though she had refused to save the name.

Not wasting any more time, she leaned down on the bed and picked up her phone then answered it.

Even Macy was very much confused by her change in expression. She watched as her friend cleared her throat and answered the call.

"Hello, Jade."

"Hello, Arctic."

'How are you?" His masculine voice resounded into the phone, causing Jade and Macy to gasp in anticipation for whatever scolding was to come but surprisingly it never came.

"Hello, how are you?"

"I…" Jade took a deep breath and smiled at Macy.

Instantly all of her sadness disappeared from her eyes and her pained facial expression totally disappeared. "Hi, I am fine, and you?"

"Good."

"Great. You called?"

"Sure. I have something important to discuss with you."

"Okay, I am all ears."

"Not there. We need to meet."

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