Chapter 20: Chapter 19

[Content Warning: abuse, violence, transphobia]

I got comfy as my father told me about the few stories he’d found about Vergent Souls. They each came from a singular tome, an old text from times before the Empire, of which there were very few in existence. I’d have read it myself, but he didn’t actually own the book. Rather, he’d been able to borrow it almost a decade ago, and he promised me he’d try to borrow it once more for me to read if he could. Normally that would be impossible without a significant amount of money, but being a librarian came with a few small benefits.

The book was a collection of stories about the lives of those living in a small coastal city, which had long ago fallen to ruin. It was a compilation of records from the lives of the mundane to the extraordinary. He couldn’t remember a lot from it, but from the way he spoke about it, I could tell it was a treasure trove of the past. Like a tome of ancient knowledge – at least if you cared about how our predecessors lived before the Empire was formed. 

The three stories involving the Vengent Souls weren’t particularly well detailed from what he remembered. One was more of a footnote than anything, about a boy learning the trade of blacksmithing. Without the context of the other two, you wouldn’t have even realized he’d been born as a “she.” The second was much more interesting from what he recalled. A retired war general and warrior who spent their days resting in the city. The text referred to them using a foreign pronoun that my father wasn’t familiar with, which he’d initially taken as a title. And perhaps it was. The person was highly revered among the people, a hero of sorts that had led decades of warriors into the deadlands. It detailed a number of their accomplishments and battles against fierce magical beasts, as well as the magic the person held, which seemed focused on the land and growth. It was a story of a true hero from the ancient times before the Empire, someone with the ability to wield the olden magic of the past – unlike the modern-day, where only the cursed existed. The story also gave the impression that Vergent Souls played a particular and important role in society, though he didn’t remember it saying what kind specifically, just that it seemed potentially magical. 

The last story was where all the clues came together on what it truly meant to be a Vergent Soul. It told the story of a young boy who realized as he grew into an adult that he much preferred being a woman. The people of the past seemed to view it as a celebratory moment. My father remembered little of the details, but perhaps they weren’t what was important. What mattered was the implications: that perhaps I wasn’t alone in my feelings, that maybe there was more to this than I’d have thought, and that there was at least hope that I could be a girl. 

As I sat at the library desk pondering – my father resorting some section of books that he disliked the look of – the library doors opened. We both glanced up to find a sentinel clad in shining black armor. 

My father stood, somewhat awkwardly, and said, “Ah, welcome in.” After a moment’s pause, where the sentinel took in the room, he continued, “Do let me know if there is anything I can help you with?”

The sentinel tilted his head respectfully. “Much obliged, library keeper, though I’m actually here to ask something of your daughter.” 

I stiffened slightly at his words, worried that I was in trouble yet again. “Me?”

He gave a nod my way, the metal plates of his boots clanking as he approached the desk. “You are Pearl, correct?”

Nervously, I nodded. 

“The Praevus would like to extend you an invitation to dinner this evening, assuming that you are available.” 

I was momentarily baffled. Dinner? With the Praevus? I put my thoughts quickly aside. Something about the sentinel’s words gave the impression that he wouldn’t accept ‘no’ for an answer. 

“Umm, of course.” 

“Excellent, then if you would follow me?” 

At his gesture, I scrambled from my seat and made my way around the desk, the blue dress from my Da clenched tightly in my grasp. Glancing toward my father, I noticed the uncertainty on his face. The sentinel placed a hand gently against my back, and we began to move toward the door. 

He nodded toward my father. “Have a pleasant evening.”

A book clenched firmly in his hand, my father replied, “Do please take care of her.” It was about the best he could say given the circumstances. I could tell that he wanted to go with me, to try and protect me, but it was clear that the invitation was explicitly for me. My poor Da. With all the stress I was likely causing him, I would probably give him heart problems within the year. 

We made our way out of the library and into the cool outside air, the sentinel gently but firmly leading me forward. 

No matter how much I pondered it, I couldn’t understand why the Praevus seemed so interested in me. That one of the Praevi would request to have dinner with a simple maid felt absurd. Was it possible, I wondered, that he’d found out I was Marked? Was there some way to tell that I didn’t know about, like perhaps a way to detect the core within me? I honestly hadn’t a clue. But why else would he talk to some lowly unknown maid?

We made our way out to the edge of town, where a group of large tents had been pitched. The sentinel moved to the largest one near the center and stuck his head through the flap.

“Praevus, the young maid has decided to join you.”

At the sentinel’s announcement, the jovial voice of Praevus Emver came through the tent. “Ah, excellent timing! I was just finishing up with Mr. Marlon here.”

“It’s been a pleasure speaking with you. I won’t hold you up for any longer,” came another voice. “I do hope you’ll consider my proposal, though?”

“I shall, Marlon. Please, come back another time, and we can talk further. I’ll have someone send for you.”

Marlon, the man I knew to be Silas’s father, crouched forward out of the tent, before lifting his head high. The tall, well-dressed man, with graying hair glanced my way for only a moment as he moved by us.

“Please, bring her in, bring her in,” came the Praevus’s voice jovial voice once more. 

The flap was lifted higher by the sentinel who’d accompanied me, providing plenty of room for me to walk through without needing to duck. With hesitancy, I made my way inside, and my eyes glanced quickly around. A large table sat in the middle, appearing to serve as both a desk and place to eat, with two chairs near me and one larger one opposite. Along the wooden posts that held up the large tent, several lamps hung, filling the massive area with warm light and holding back the cooler air from outside. Strangely, the floor was actually carpeted in a thick bright red rug rather than the dirt or grass I would have expected.  

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Praevus Emver was already standing as I entered. With a smiling face, he walked toward me as I briefly took in the room. “I’m thrilled that you could make it, my dear. Please, come in and make yourself at home. I hope my accommodations aren’t too terribly inadequate.”

He pulled out a chair for me, and I sat before he helped to push it back to the table. My hands continued to grip the dress bundled in my lap as I stiffly sat. The Praevus moved back to his own chair, sitting down into it with a laid-back air. 

“Umm, thank you,” I said, having no idea how to respond to him. 

Once more I wondered why I was here. I was no one, and this man was one of the Praevi. It made no sense to me. Why would he even want to speak to me, much less have dinner? The certainty that he probably knew or at least suspected that I was cursed was steadily rising. And if he didn’t know, would I be able to trust him with my secret? I had no real way of knowing how he might react, yet I was desperate for a way to stop my curse and help Lena. Wasn’t this one of the best chances I had? The difficulty would be in being brave enough to admit everything to him and then hoping that he would help me. 

He smiled. “Of course, I’m happy to have you here. There’s nothing quite like the company of a beautiful woman over dinner. All I ask is that you be honest with me as we talk, as I shall be with you.”

I gave him a nervous smile and nodded in response. As though the word ‘dinner’ had summoned them, several well-dressed servants in white came into the tent, their hands full of plates and covered metal dishes. An empty glass plate was placed in front of me, followed by several utensils as they circled the table. After that were several steaming metal saucers covered with a reflective dome lid that sparkled and danced in the flickering lamplight, each placed one after the other onto the table. Lastly, two lit candles followed, one on each side of the main dish in the middle. Together the servers stopped as they fully encircled us.

I jumped in my seat as a loud chime rang and strangely echoed throughout the tent, followed by each of the dishes being uncovered. There were a large variety of meats and vegetables, most of which I wasn’t familiar with. In the center was a large roasted bird of some kind. The hot steam visibly rose off it, bringing a wild, meaty, and spicy scent into the air. 

I was utterly speechless at the entire display. Despite being inside a tent, I couldn’t help but feel that this seemed so much more impressive than the dinners at the mansion. There was something about it that felt grander, more sophisticated, a combination of the presentation and the way the servants dressed and held themselves. 

Portions of each dish were placed first on Praevus Emver’s plate and then mine. The last was the roasted bird, which was cleanly sliced into thin strips and delicately placed into a neat row in front of me. I stared down at the fanciful meal below, feeling terribly out of place. Each of the servants orderly filed out of the tent one after the other, leaving the two of us alone once more. The Praevus meanwhile, picked up a knife and fork and began to cut into the sliced meat, the sharpness of the knife sinking through it like melting butter. 

Somewhat awkwardly, I decided to move my dress over to the other chair beside me for fear of dirtying it.

“So tell me about yourself. You’ve lived here your whole life, have you not?” he asked before bringing a small piece of roasted bird to his lips. 

The sharp contrast of the professionalism of the servants compared to the Praevus’s casual conversation over food made me feel somewhat off-balance. With great hesitation, I followed his lead and grabbed onto a fork, stabbing it into some kind of root vegetable that I recognized but had only ever eaten once. 

“Yes, umm, I was born and raised here by my dad.” The fork moved to my lips and I chewed into the well-flavored square of root vegetable that I couldn’t recall the name of. 

After the Praevus finished his bite, he continued, “Your father, not mother and father?”

I shook my head as I glanced up to his face. “No, my mother passed away when I was much younger. It’s just been me and my Da since then.” 

His expression fell into one of sympathy. “My condolences. I’m sure that must have been difficult for both of you. I, only two years ago, lost my own father, so I imagine I can understand a bit of what it must have been like.” 

“Thank you,” I said and paused from eating more to ask something of him, hoping to change topics. “If it’s not too rude of me to ask, what is it like being Praevus?”

He hummed as he swallowed another bite. “It’s not nearly as glamorous as I’m sure some may imagine. The title comes with a lot of responsibilities. And oftentimes it can feel as though the fate of the empire rests on my decisions. It’s a job that a man never truly gets used to.” He waved his hand. “But I’m sure you’re not interested in a bunch of political ramblings and deliberation. I’d much rather talk about you, my dear.”

“Me?” I muttered. 

He gave me a friendly smile. “Of course! As I’ve mentioned, I enjoy hearing the thoughts of others, especially of those whose voices are often overlooked. It’s important for those like myself, those born with the power to change things, to learn of the perspectives and struggles of those that we lead.” He leaned forward over his plate, his voice softening to almost a whisper. “Too often when I travel across our vast lands, I stumble upon individuals that hold great wealth and power that have cast aside morality in the pursuit of even more. They forget their obligations to the Empire and its people and instead embrace iniquity. I believe it to be my duty to find these individuals and stop the corruption of our Empire’s virtuous principles, to make sure our great lands stay a just place of peace and civility.”

I stared at him, eyes wide with astonishment. I’d expected him to be awe-inspiring, but to think that such a kind and honorable man was one of the people leading our nation. It was both inspiring and greatly heartening. 

“Tell me, my dear. If there were things in this little town that you felt needed changing, people who have been hurt by those who are supposed to look out for them, would you be willing to stand up against them? Would you stand with me in making our Empire a grander and more beautiful place? Against tyranny and immorality?”

“I -- of course!”

He smiled once more. "Then, please. Tell me what you know and what you've heard of those here."

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