Chapter 108: Ch 106. Porcelain doll

Jester’s POV

What we saw inside was truly terrifying.

Insides of the helicopter were filled with dresses, swimsuits, and outfits that better suited a sex shop. All I could think at that moment was: ‘thank God, I wasn’t the one turned into a girl’.

However, Captain’s shock quickly changed to indomitable fury, with her face becoming red from anger.

“Bring me a flamethrower.”

“We don’t…”

‘Slap’

Old man closed my mouth with his hand and whispered into my ear.

‘Boy, can’t you see she’s mad? You’ve got two lives, or what?’ We looked at the edge of her eye, all that we could see, but it was completely bloodshot. I was about to reconsider writing the will, but she looked away.

When we two didn’t react at her order, Captain just looked back at the belly of the Mil.

“Tell me to either kill Ether in the most gruesome, cruel, and painful way…” However, her voice still belonged to an infuriated harpy.

“Yeah, we surely will…”

Still, she had to enter regardless.

Moments after looking at the wide selection of clothes her eyes got devoid of life, and she just started staring into nothing, while lazily looking through the assortment.

Meanwhile, we too were looking through what there was. I even noticed a nice princess dress for kindergartners. While it may cost my life, this would look so ridiculous on her that it would still be worth it.

As long as she doesn’t actually shoot us.

---

After a few minutes of looking around, the Commander was called on the radio.

“Liked the room? There will be a booth behind all the racks. Pick your dresses and go ahead. You need to take photos in 5 different outfits. At least one of them has to be a swimsuit.” (E)

“WHAT?! YOU F*ING TOLD ME THERE WILL BE NO UNDERWEAR!”

“Cutie, I told you there will be no underwear, but from since do the swimsuits count as lingerie?” (E)

“Die.” The Captain looked at the wide selection of girl clothes with despair that quickly was replaced with resignation.

“Also, you can make it just 3 of any, if you pick an outfit that makes one of the gentlemen there get a boner.” (E)

At that moment we knew: we are entering the queue for murder. Both of her queues: the one whom to murder first, and the one who is to murder Ether first.

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“Repeat. What. He. Said.” A single glance of the Captain was filled with more fury than either of our superiors ever had.

Even when I went AWOL, returned in the night, was drunk, and brought a bag of bottles with me to the unit. And when afterwards I was noticed by a praporshik who was late and angry, refused to share the spoils, and then got given out to the colonel…

THAT was less frightening than a little girl’s glare.

But I also have a foolproof excuse, the one that worked back then and will work now.

“Ne uslishal! Vinovat, Tovarish’ Comandir!” [I didn't hear! My fault, Comrade Commander!]

“Damn right, your fault, you imbecile! Do you even have a head on your shoulders?!

Listen here, you two! IF YOU HAPPEN TO…” She showed ‘cut-throat’, and patted the gun she holstered.

No matter how mad she was, standing here was not going to change anything, thus everyone began approaching the racks.

With the commanding officer’s blessing we started looking through the contents.

While she was absentmindedly gazing at the clothes, Old man and I were slightly more motivated.

‘What do you think about this one?’ I showed an innocent-looking white dress. The small frills were kind of cute, and there was nothing erotic about it. The best balance I could imagine.

‘Think big!’ Old man showed me another dress: what Captain calls ‘pink nightmare’. Frills, ribbons, and disgustingly bright pink color.

‘You want her to get mad~?’

‘A bit~.’ We snickered.

It was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to doll up our little cheeky chick, and we used it as much as we could.

---

The search continued for a while, and resulted in the rack by the photo booth being filled to the point the tube started sagging.

The Captain chose only one dress, and already started wearing it.

Meanwhile, I felt like most of the outfits we chose for her were too childish. Well, we had a good reason: we could look at her wearing girl clothes once in a while. The civvies cannot understand the feeling of seeing the uniform from dawn to lights out…

‘Fwoosh’

“Hey?! Old man, did you see it too?!”

“Ha-ha-ha! That’s some speed!” He started laughing.

The Commander literally dashed from the fitting room to the photo booth before we could even notice her.

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