Chapter 2: 2

I’ve admired heroes since I was a child

The trigger was a morning TV program. I’ve forgotten the details now, but it was a usual story bout good pushing evil. There are villains, there are allies of justice and a happy ending. When someone is in trouble, the hero always helps and makes everyone smile. I longed to be a hero like that.

It’s not a particularly rare story, at that time I believed that heroes existed and that one day I can become a hero. I’m sure it’s not just me that thinks like that when they’re a kid.

But as kids grow up they begin to doubt whether heroes really existed.

That’s only natural, in this world there are no monsters, no pure evil villains who act as a foil for justice, and there are not many people who will help you even if you are in trouble. As kids grow up they learn that a hero is just a fictional role that is made up for a fictional story.

In other words, they become an “adult”

Even though they have become “adults”, there are some who still can’t let go of their admiration of a hero.

One of them is me.

Of course, I understood that there is no such thing as a hero in this world, and my admiration had also faded from the ideal I imagined when I was little. My admiration is far from pure. Still, I didn’t give up and spent my days in anguish.
 

I had three turning points in my life.

The first turning point was when I thought that, if there were no heroes I should just become one, and started imitating a hero.

That was the simple answer that I as a kid come up with when I realized that there was no hero.

If someone is in trouble, lend them an ear, help them, and be thanked.

It wasn’t a difficult talk. There are a lot of troubled people in the world, and if you help them solve them, you will be like a hero to those people.

However, there’s a problem with myself.

I got the feeling that this isn’t what I’m looking for.

At that time, I didn’t know why I felt that way, but as I continued with my activities, I gradually realized.

I just want to be a hero of justice.

A self-centered hero of justice who just wants to defeat the villain and then make a cool pose, not a hero of justice whose purpose is to help people.

Once I realized that dirty desire, all my activities up until now seemed to be something that is corrupted, and gradually I stopped helping others on my own initiative.

If it was the me right now, I wouldn’t worry about it, and I could easily let it go by saying “Isn’t it fine because the person who was saved is grateful?”. I’m sure everyone has times when they innocently wanted their ideal to be perfect. There must be…

Anyway, the boy who realized that the image of the hero that he imagined was actually a good for nothing, and could not accept his feelings, sealed it in a corner of his heart waiting until the opportunity came.

The second turning point came more than ten years later, when I had graduated from elementary school, junior high school, and high school, and was slowly growing as an adult.

I had no future to aim for, nothing to learn, and was spending my life doing nothing but working part-time at a nearby convenience store when I saw a certain news.

A monster appeared in town.

It was said the monster is a jet-black lump with something that seems like red eyes.

It was said several monsters have been confirmed so far, and they are wandering around town while slipping through gaps in buildings.

It was said being near that monster will make you sick and you will go insane if you touch it

At first, I didn’t understand what the news was saying, and I didn’t take it too seriously, I might have switched to a variety show by mistake, so I tried various other channels. However, when I saw that every program was talking about the monsters, I was filled with hope and anxiety.

Even now I still can’t put into words the excitement I felt when I found out that those reports were true.

Although it was an inappropriate reaction, still I was overjoyed.

As the newscaster reported the damage and various attempts to deal with the monster were being reported, I was filled with excitement toward the extraordinary daily lives that had just begun.

A villain appeared.

A perfect villain that everyone without a doubt will recognize as an enemy.

It seems that the world that I had imagined as a child has now become reality, that day I couldn’t fall asleep for a while and was imagining various things.

If a monster appeared, then a hero will appear next.
 

A mighty enemy that ordinary people cannot hope to compete with.

People who can not resist and can only ask for help.

And a hero who responds to that voice and destroys evil.
 

Is there anyone who wouldn’t want to stand on a stage set up like this? I’m sure there isn’t.

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If I could become a hero… no, someone as self-centered as me is no good. If at least someone appears as a hero, I would be happy to help them.

It doesn’t have to be the main character. I just want to see it in action up close.

The thoughts that had been sealed at the first turning point, come to shape at the second turning point, and I waited impatiently for the day when it would come true.
 

The mysterious monsters that have caused an uproar in the world and continue to pose as a threat to this day, the damage that keeps increasing, and coupled with no known countermeasures that were effective, and the name that spread began to be known as a new calamity.
 

“Wanderer”

It isn’t known when it will appear and disappear. These being,s whose purpose is unknown, and even whether it can be defined as a living thing is ambiguous.

Its existence is not limited to Japan, but also has been witnessed in many places around the world and has become a hot topic on a daily basis, and become a major barrier to humankind.
 

The third turning point came shortly after such a monster appeared.

Sighting reports of monsters showing no signs of slowing down while the number of victims is increasing. Amidst this dark cloud over the future of mankind, the existences that could finally defeat the “Wanderer” appeared one after another.

The existence that mankind has been waiting for is said to have destroyed the monsters which no weapon could damage, and saved the people who were being attacked.

This is without a doubt the appearance of the long-awaited hero who is an ally of mankind.

I was so overjoyed that I didn’t doubt whether it was a fake news or not, I used various media to investigate, I don’t whether it’s because many people were doing the same thing as me, but I found a lot of news from eyewitness reports to useless rumors. There was so much information that I couldn’t tell exactly what was true and what was false, but I collected and summarized the information from people who were helped by the heroes.

It is said that the heroes used something like magic to exterminate monsters. It is said the heroes were wearing colorful and fancy clothes.

It is said the heroes were all women.

It is said, It is said, It is said,…

While I was sorting out the information, I started to think that there something was wrong.

This may be my preconceived notions, but the first thing that comes to mind when I hear the word hero is that he transforms, rushes over on a motorcycle or wears a variety of colored suits, and fights using special effects.

Colorful and fancy clothes. I know it’s colorful but fancy…? If anything, isn’t it like a tight combat suit?

They are all women in common. It’s strange, being men or woman has nothing to do with heroes, but only women…? Or rather it’s a heroine rather than a hero right…?

Based on the fact that was thrust at me I had a vague idea of ​​what kind of existence the hero would be, but I still couldn’t give up and finally, while I was surfing the internet I found a picture.

Apparently, it was taken by a person who was helped by a hero, and whether that is an action worthy of praise or not aside, the photo is spreading more and more.

It’s unknown whether it’s out of conscience or some other reason, but the girl’s face in the photo is mosaicked, and it’s impossible to tell what kind of expression she’s making. In the photo, while facing a monster several times her size, the figure let out something that seems to be magic. Clothes based on pink and white and is covered with frills. Her hair was also dyed in flashy pink. A skirt wrapped with a long ribbon that makes you want to say doesn’t it get in the way when you move? and a mysterious walking stick whose purpose cannot be determined from its appearance.

People who saw her photo called the girl

“Magical Girl”

Well… yeah, I figured it would be like that.

in the first place, I already had a hunch when only women were confirmed.

What should I do with this raised fist of joy?

The magical girl is the same as a hero, so what’s wrong with that?

That statement is mostly correct.

I was moved by the way she stood up to the mighty evil, and her willingness to help those in need, she is indeed a hero.

But it’s different.

My ideal hero can’t be a magical girl.

Because…

“If that’s the case, I can’t be a hero…”
 

In the end, I was just a self-centered person who couldn’t abandon my ideals.

 

Well, I would describe the things that made me grow through these various experiences as “turning points” although it’s questionable whether I’ve really grown to not.

If a “magical girl” appeared, it wouldn’t be strange for other heroes to appear as well right? So I went around looking for it, but in the end, what I found is either a hoax or a scam.

While feeling like the darkness in my heart is deepening, I no longer actively search for it

Just when I was wondering whether I will end my life without being able to become a hero nor meeting a hero.

At the time when I despaired in my life an incident that could be called the fourth turning point occurred.

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