To say that before that scandal night 5 years ago, Li Xue was living to her fullest will be the worst lie of her life.
Her life has never been an easy one. Or more like to say her dream of modelling has never been painless for her. But at the end of everything, the thing that mattered to her was the undying passion she had in her heart.
The pains she endured all night in her bedroom never spoiled the satisfaction she received in the morning training sessions of fashion academy. For her everything around has been colourful but never her life.
Li Xue never knew the love of her mother because she never came across it in her life. For her mother has always been an aloof character in her story of life, who never cared to look at her even at once.
She always thought that maybe her coldness and aloofness towards her was because she was not good enough to impress her heart and make her love her back. So she worked hard to give the woman every reason to be proud of her.
Be it her academics or her co-curricular activities. Be it her sense of dressing or her mannerism … She has made herself a child that every parent would desire in their heart. But none of her hard practices could melt her mother's heart. Whatever she did, that woman never cared to look at her. She would have accepted that she was not her parent's biological daughter but her facial feature matching her mother was not a lie.
She wanted to question her father about it but he has always kept himself busy with work. For him, his business was the highest priority. Although she knew she had a big family apart from her parents, she had not met anyone ever. The only thing that she knew was that they have been long separated from the family tree. So she had no one whom she could ask.
'You are the worst mistake I can ever have in my life. You ruined my dream and my everything. Do you think I will let you enjoy the beauty that you have because of me? No … never!'
The blames of the woman still echoed in her ears but she never came to know the reasons behind those blames. She only knew that all those mental and physical tortures came after the secondary school annual event where she participated in a ramp walk and won it with her merit. The day when she let everyone around her know her ambition.
But never knew that instead of getting appreciation for her achievements from her mother she would be given the pains and tortures. She had been banged on the floor hard in the cold night. The burning sting of the slaps was so rough that it never let her remember the counts of the hits. The only things that remained in her memories were the pain and cruelty she suffered almost every night until she got in her high school days.
Her mother has been preferred to be a stranger to her before but after knowing her liking for the modelling career, she became the sadist who loved to see her in pain.
Regarding her mother, she never felt any belongingness. To say that her temper and addiction to alcohol scared her will not justify the feeling she actually felt in her heart. The patience she showed to her mother's ruthlessness was not about her fear but about the last string of love and respect she was holding for her.
Her patience meant the hopes that she still kept alive thinking that maybe … maybe she will be able to receive the same motherly love that other children receive from their mother. But till the end of that tragic part of her story, she never felt that coming near. Maybe all those times she was living in her own wishful thinking.
Time changed when she hopped into her high school days. Maybe with time, her mother did not change but she inherited her traits. Seeing her negligence, she soon became an aloof and cold personality, no longer caring what her mother's heart holds for her.
Turned to become insensitive to her pains or maybe one can say that no pain affected her anymore. Her skin became tough and accustomed to those tortures. Scars appeared on her body and it got healed on its own. She no longer cared about it until it did not come to people's eyes.
Those days were something that laid the foundation of making her both physically and mentally strong. And now if seen properly, those times actually give her strength to move on without any care when she has been left all alone in this world with nothing but her worst scattered self.
Feng Shufen's facial muscles got tightened when he heard her. Though she has not brought the details to him, still what he read in her expression was enough to make him realize everything she has gone through with.
He has not too well known about the famous selfless motherly love since he never got to experience it in a proper way. His mother left him when he was just fourteen and the woman that came next … he never allowed her to become his mother knowing that she was not.
But seeing Li Xue's relation with Weiwei, he can feel the beauty both he and she has missed in their early years.
Li Xue looked at the man and her lips curled up to give a slight smile of self – mockery. His brows were again frowning. Reaching her finger to once again soothe his tightened skin, she said, "That was a long lost story. Why are you frowning on that now? I have long forgotten all that. Now only some of its memories linger".
Feng Shufen did not reply to her words but his body accepted her orders at once. The tightened muscles got eased but not the dark storm in his grey eyes.
"Long lost story! I doubt that I am not that forgetful" he said, giving a light tender caress to her head, all lovingly. His protective instincts were simply evident in his actions.