Chapter 25: Chapter 25: If I don’t push the limits, who will? The people behind me?

The system scared me. Everything I’d seen had been present on Earth in one form or another, and the system was no different. I knew what it was because I had played video games, but the idea of a system in real life terrified me.

Where was it?

Inside my head?

Does that mean that as I looked around my room, keeping my status page up, that my eyes saw nothing? Was my head projecting all the images to itself?

It was one thing to know that there was magic around me. The magic had been fun, and voluntary. The system was inside me and attached to my thoughts at all times.

I would think about my mana, and it would show me my mana. The system would show me the level and experience of my skills if I accidentally thought about them. There was something attached to my mind, and I knew next to nothing about it.

It’s terrifying.

I avoided talking about the system like I used to avoid spiders in the corner of the room. I wouldn’t kill them unless they were venomous.

Now that had to change. I didn’t have the luxury of avoiding such an important aspect of my life.

My father had pulled up a stone to sit on. The puffer was in its nest, watching us both. The moon gazed down at us through the cracks in the ceiling. They were waiting for me to speak.

“What is the system?” That was the most important question for me.

Simplest is best.

“Champ, that’s probably the hardest question you’ve ever asked me.” My dad cut through my hopes like butter. “We could spend an entire week on this question and not get anywhere. Magicians debate this daily at the capitol universities.”

He smiled. “But that doesn’t mean there aren’t key aspects that we can look at. I still did my high school system studies after all.”

There are high schools here? Noted, but not the time.

“Let’s start with the basics.” My dad pulled his hands out of his pockets. “We know that all persons have a system. There are no exceptions. They also all obtain the system when they are less than a year old. Again, no exceptions.”

I raised a hand, but my dad gestured at me to put it down. I backed down reluctantly and he continued talking.

“The system is a tool of measurement. It is also a tool of change. At all times the system is measuring your progress in various areas. It is also capable of changing you as a person. Both physically and mentally.”

That caused a shiver to go down my spine. He said it so naturally, as though it was just another thing to mention on the side. I put my hand up again and this time he let my question through.

“How are you so calm about that? Isn’t it strange that something can just come in and change you like that?”

“I see.” My dad brought himself to my height, and looked at me in the eyes “Is that how you feel about the system?”

“Yes.” There wasn’t a doubt in my mind.

I had to improve to survive. A huge part of that was to give up my mind and body to a system I didn’t know. One that watched every part of my life and thoughts.

It was a major worry.

“I’ll let you know now, champ, not many people think that way. But some do. Take your mother and me. We grew up with the system normally, and it was there before we could even think. To us, it is another part of life, like the limbs of our body. If I do a push up, I get stronger. My arms do the pushing, but I’m the one that drives the change with my actions.”

My dad ruffled my hair and gave me a comforting smile. “You’re young. And intelligent. That means you haven’t had the system as long as I have, and you’re aware of that fact. It’s a part of your body that you haven’t learnt to use yet. Tell me, are you thinking of the system and what it can do at all times? Without using it?”

I stopped to think about his words. He wasn’t incorrect. I wanted to use the system. I really did. I ended up grinding my skills instead. That wasn’t using the system. That was training my magic.

I hadn’t used the system itself for anything. Every time I wanted to, thoughts about what it was doing to me clouded my mind. Because of that, I didn’t even know if there was something I could use the system for.

Part of me didn’t want to find out.

My father saw my expression.

He held my hand in his own. “I’m going to impart some fatherly advice now.”

“There will always be unknowns in life.” His voice was firm. “Even in things you see every day. And when those unknowns present themselves, we often try to avoid them, instead of learning about them. That’s a problem.”

“The more we think about something without learning about it, the bigger our opinion of that unknown becomes. In reality it could be a small matter, tiny even, but we would never know. Instead, we place importance on it, even if we don’t do it consciously. That unknown becomes a monster in our hearts, and it breeds fear of itself. Regardless of whether it’s warranted or not.”

“Tell me truthfully. Does the system scare you?”

It was true. I’d already lost so much; I couldn’t lose my mind as well.

“I am.” I nodded. “It terrifies me. You’re right that it’s a monster, breeding fear. But every time I try to approach it my mind freezes.”

“Then that’s what we’re going to work on.” His words were soft. “It’s not your job to tackle this alone. I’m here to guide you, and we’ll do it together.”

“Do you want to stop for today?” He asked. “It’s late.”

“No. We’ve just begun.” I was resolute.

My dad was right. I needed to learn about this to overcome it. Running away would get me nowhere.

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“Then we’re gonna make sure we deal that monster a heck of a blow.” my dad took a few steps back.

He pointed at the walls and the symbols that were plastered all over them.

“Another fact we know about the system. It can be used to store information.”

Say what now?

My father smiled. “This is not a universal benefit. It is also not well known. However, I know for a fact that the system contains a personal library. If you have the right skill, you can access that place and store information that’s important there. Personally, I can only store symbols, and even then, there are some strict restraints for which symbols and how I can add them. Otherwise, I wouldn’t need the observatory.”

I stared at him. This was exactly why I needed to learn about the system.

“I thought that little nugget of information would excite you.” My father chuckled at my change in attitude. “Of course, I will teach you how to unlock that skill. However, it is also important to know that not everything can be stored. It is an intricate process... Excuse me for a moment.”

My father left the room and came back with the inscriber cube in his hand. “Do you remember when we went to the engineer’s shop? I inscribed all of these symbols onto the inscriber without consulting my notes.”

I did remember. That was when we spent ten minutes inside the building, and two days had passed on the outside.

“I could do that because I stored that information in my system library. I have done so for several regent details that I can’t risk getting out. And for some volatile symbols.” He stepped away from the symbol wall. “Symbols are only what I can store. Others may be able to store things I couldn’t even think of.”

“That’s amazing.” I felt a shiver of excitement in my heart. “Dad, this could help me so much. Even if it’s just symbols, storing them instead of having to memorise them would save me so much time.”

“Exactly. That’s just one way we can use the system.” My father clapped his hands together. “But I can’t just give you the carrots. It’s exciting to learn about a new benefit of the system, but I also want to alleviate some of your fears.”

“Your system is private.” My dad’s body straightened up. “To see your system information someone would need your permission, and then they would also need to prepare ritual regents. In the old days before regents there was no way to see another person's system. Now people use them to compare stats and skills with each other. Usually in formal competitions.”

“This has inspired the saying, ‘be a grower not a shower’.”

I choked. Oh, heck. I don’t think that means what my dad thinks it means. He looked at me with an innocent smile. I covered up my laughter with a cough and a smile.

“People theorise that there are actually multiple systems. One for each individual. The other side of this argument is that one system takes care of everyone, it is simply broken into parts.”

That hadn’t occurred to me. If the system was part of me, but not part of something else, I think I would be more okay with it.

“This is the part that’s holding me back the most. I want to know if the system is really part of me, or if it’s something else. I’m scared that the system is an unknown creature, and it has a hold of me.” I told my dad. “Is that crazy?”

“There are many crazy people out there and you are not one of them, champ. This is an issue that has influenced societies all around the world.”

“You’ll find that this worry is an intrinsic aspect of society. The system impacts all of us. Our motivations, our lives, and our beliefs.” He smiled. “Never get drunk in a Pêlat bar and shout out that the system is a single entity. You’ll lose your pearly whites to a drunkard.”

He blushed when he saw my shocked expression. “What I mean is… it’s natural to want to know if something is yours. People fight hardest to protect what’s theirs. They always have.”

“What is also important is to know that no matter what your conclusion is, you should never take it to extremes.”

“Some claim that they and other select people are special because their systems are different. Unique. Others have argued that there is only one system, and waged wars trying to claim it for themselves. It’s all fun, theory and games until you drag the entire world into a mad conquest for power.”

This wasn’t what I’d expected, but it didn’t feel bad to know. “You said the system also changes me. If I start getting new stats, will that change who I am?”

“No.” My dad’s answer surprised me.

“How do you know that?” My voice rose sharply.

This was the second fear I had. That the system was changing who I was, without me realising it.

“The system can never change who you are on the inside. It can only help guide you to the answers you would have eventually reached without it.”

“Your beliefs and your attitudes, your actions and your interactions, these things will always be growing, evolving. You may find one thing valuable one-day, and the next it will be trash.”

“There is a question you must ask yourself, and it isn’t simple to answer.” My dad stood up, and I noticed the moon was already disappearing. “Did your intelligence cause your fear of the system, or did it help you recognise it for what it was.”

“Your intelligence will rise, and it will find more problems. My advice is that you don’t run away or look for simplicity. There will never be an easy solution, because what you are discovering is not the system, but yourself.”

My dad walked over to me and draped the dirtied blanket over my body. He tucked me in and gave me a pat on the head.

“Alright champ. That’s enough for the day.”

“I need to know more of the benefits.” I looked at him pleadingly.

He shook his head. “I know you have more questions. We’ll talk tomorrow. I’ll make a list for you. All the things the system can help you with.”

My dad left. I waited until he returned to his room, and then got back up. His talk had really helped me, and now I felt more confident exploring the system. I just needed to do one last thing for today.

I needed to test whether or not I could activate the Mark repeatedly. The pain was immense but impending doom is one heck of a motivator. I brought out the inventory box from under my pillow. I was ready to dispose of my mana.

There was only one problem…

First, I had to deal with the bird.

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