Long Zaitian switched gears fast, coming over smugly. “Earl Ming, what brings you here? You truly are everywhere. How about some tea?”
Song Ou was uncharacteristically friendly. “We have new biluochun from the Central Plain.”
When a man is being nice to you for nothing, be cautious. The duo was either after my money, life, pork shoulders or women. I narrowed my eyes as I surveyed the two. “Oi, you two…”
The two of them profusely wagged her hands. “No, no, absolutely not!”
“You want to be my friends because I’m handsome?”
Them: “I need to barf. You want to die first?!”
“…”
Their regret flitted across their faces moments after they realised they just spoiled a chance to befriend me. Perhaps they were also disappointed with themselves for falling for my provocations so easily. That said, that was an intense reaction…
Long Zaitian’s smile turned into a condescending scowl. “Since you’ve seen through me me, I won’t front, or people will think I’m not a man. Yes, we’re out to get you!” And then, he lifted his nose into the ether.
Why can’t I find it in me to despise him for his delivery?
Song Ou quietly grumbled, “Oi, why are you spilling the beans? What happened to being covert? What happened to Dragon-Bird Alliance?”
“If we keep up the act, he’d just be clowning us. I’m not going to be his entertainment. I’ll be straight with you: Ming Feizhen, we are eliminating you. We aren’t picking on you.”
“In other words…”
“We’re jealous of you!”
Yep, couldn’t find it in me to hate someone so frank in his disdain for someone.
“Why are you jealous of me again?” I looked over to Song Ou.
Song Ou lifted his chest and locked eyes with me. After a while, he tried to catch me on the back of my head, but I got out of the way.
You’re being reckless recently!
“Don’t compare me to him. I’m Liu Shan Men’s captain and an elite warrior. I’m not jealous of you, you shameless prick.”
“Says the guy allied with Long Zaitian. Although I’m an earl, my fief is in Nanjiang; I’m empty-handed in the Central Plain. If that’s all it takes ot make you jealous, you’re awfully petty.”
“Who’d want to be Earl Big Radish, you joke.”
I’ll have you know I’m still a First Rank Earl!
“You’re starting to think you’re all that just because His Majesty is giving you time of the day. You’re constantly flirting with girls when the sun is up and then spending nights in their rooms. Dragon-Bird Alliance’s purpose is to punish evil, which makes you, a traitor who makes me people env-, disgusted, a target for extermination!”
You’re still jealous after what I said? Also, it’s my young shiyi’s room, nimrod.
“I’m talking about Yiren’s room!”
“Oh, right, yeah, that happened…”
“I’ll lay you out right now!”
Song Ou caught me with two “Three Septums Pluck the Moon”, while I rolled out of the way of one.
“Hahaha, nice!” praised Long Zaitian.
Song Ou swiped his nose.
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“You want to supervise the banquet to put another accomplishment on your resume? Dream on. You can just wait to cop a scolding and lose income, hahaha.”
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You Long Zaitian! You want to tarnish my reputation so that you can pinch my salary? Had Boss not warned me, I would’ve fallen for your ploy.
“Haha, what’s your plan?” I asked of the two.
Song Ou: “Hmph, we’ve set everything up so that you have nothing to do. His Majesty will punish you for dereliction of duty now, hahaha.”
Long Zaitian whacked Song Ou over the head. “Moron, you didn’t need to answer that!”
I crossed my arms. “That’s the best you’ve got? I’m here now, so what’s your counter?”
Long Zaitian replied, “So what if you’re here? What can you do? We’ve already set up the venue in your place, ahahaha!”
“Wh-wh-what?!”
I knew you’re stupid, but I didn’t know you’re this stupid.
They had set up about 90% of the venue already. If there was anything I’d add, I’d have a few people attired in red garments to welcome the guests at the entrance.
Th-they helped me to spite me?
“How did you finish this much when it’s still so early?”
Song Ou responded with his chest, “We pulled an all-nighter.”
The two of them grinned as though they just stole money from me, while I couldn’t find the words to speak.
“Fantastic! This is just like poems describing Jiangnan. This beautifully flaunts our culture – perfect for receiving guests.” Emperor Yuansheng came in through the door behind us. “The three of you did very well. Which of you three designed it?”
Song Ou inhaled all the air he could into his chest. Long Zaitian proudly covered his face. I answered, “Me.”
“Excellent! You truly are a pillar of our nation. I shall reward you handsomely for earnestly fulfilling your duty as soon as you are instated. You two, learn from Earl Ming.” Emperor Yuansheng headed straight into the conference room, leaving a confused dragon and bird behind.
Long Zaitian and Song Ou: “Ming Feizhen, what was that all about?!”
“Weren’t you two acting awkward so that I could take the credit?”
Long Zaitian and Song Ou: “Says who?”
“I thought you two puiled an all-nighter because you felt sorry for me and wanted to help me out.”
Long Zaitian and Song Ou: “You’re finished!”
They had only rolled up one sleeve when I heard a hearty laugh I hadn’t heard in a while.
“Hahaha, Brother Ming, what’s going on?”
“Oh, Brother Bodhi?”
Abels and A-Lan’s attendance was to be expected, but they certainly were early.
Abels was as friendly as a brother catching up with me sine we hadn’t met in more than a month, much to the chagrin of Dragon-bird Alliance. What were they going to do against Abels?
“Brother Ming, you have no idea how rough the last month has been.” Abels stopped to visually appraise me. “How come…”
I smiled. “I’m fine. We’ll talk about later.”
Glossary
Biluochun – Literally, green snail spring. Originally it was called “scary fragrance” because of its rich aroma. It’s a type of green tea.
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