Chapter 254: Kissed By Death

[You can read chapters in advance, OP and GOT fic on -patreon.com/misterimmortal.]

Hector, alongside Moony, arrived at a club in Las Vegas. It was dark everywhere with a few flashing lights, crowded, and music was blasting around. In reality, he didn't like such parties, as he felt he was a man of the old days.

For him, a real club is where graceful dance music plays, where couples can dance together, and those searching for love ask single women to dance. No blasting music, only good vibes.

"Ayeee! Look there; our dear old president is here!" Tony Stark noticed Hector and shouted.

There was not just Tony, but also a few other heroes. Thor, Loki, Steve, Reed Richards, Human Torch, Bruce Banner, Doctor Doom, Colonel Rhodes, and a few more from X-Men.

"What are you doing here, Kennedy?" Hector found his partner in crime as well.

"As a man with Kennedy in name, I'd be a shame to my ancestors if I passed on free booze. Here, have some beer." Kennedy passed a bottle.

Hector looked around and found Logan sitting on a couch at the side, drinking like always. There was a pile of empty bottles in front of him and a big smile on his face.

"My boy, do you want to be late for your own wedding? Drinking today? Seriously?" Hector took a seat beside him and drank as well.

Logan chuckled. "Old man, thanks, honestly. You've had more influence on my life than anything else. I am happy it was you. Now my life is full of great moments and fewer fuck-ups."

"Bwahaha, I understand you. In the past, you were not in control of your own destiny. Romel was messing up everything in your life. God knows why. Since he died, I believe things have been on the positive side." Hector picked up another bottle of whiskey and drank it straight.

Logan nodded at that. "Indeed, and because of you, I got so many amazing honors. Seriously, a man like me being loved by people? I became the first man on the moon, a General of the Federation, and a General in Earth's army. I never thought I was meant for anything great, but you beat the greatness out of me."

"Woof woof wuf!"

All of a sudden, the DJ put, 'who let the dogs out,' and Moony started vibing on the dance floor.

"Well, you were meant to be an ordinary guy living an ordinary life, but some folks just wanted to see you suffer. That pushed you into turning into a mean man. So now you can lay back and relax, enjoy while this marriage lasts. I seriously don't understand how this deal with Lady Death even works but if it makes you happy, sure."

"Thanks, old man."

Hector got up, "Well, I may be God-like who does not get drunk. I still need to take a leak."

As he left, Steve followed as he just wanted to stay away from Tony and not be peer pressured to drink more.

"Sir, I wish to join the services again. Since my son is old enough to start school now, I don't have much to do at home. The restaurant makes money on itself, so not much there either."

Hector shrugged. "Well, you can go and join Avengers then. You're already a part of it anyway. Just start taking the missions. Natasha is the Director at this point. She will help you."

"Not there, sir. I want to serve under your leadership... In the UN." Steve requested.

Hector rubbed his beard. "Hmm, You're already a Major General according to official rank, and since you're pretty old, I can surely get you a nice work. Come to my office tomorrow."

"I wil-"

The two abruptly stopped talking due to the scenes they were presented with. There was a woman, sitting at the sink while a man was doing her. Not only that, there was another one recording it all on his phone.

Hector frowned, "I-Is this normal?"

Steve had the same expression. "I don't think so, sir. She's ruining her own life by being recorded. It's akin to illegal porn."

Hector walked up to them and smacked the back of the head of the one recording it. "Stop these fatherless activities this instant."

"What are you doing?"

But for some reason, the woman appeared more angered with Hector interrupting them. She cursed something in mumbles and added. "Go away, let me enjoy my last night before marriage. It's my bachelor's party!"

Hector lifted his right hand and snapped his finger, immediately sobering up the woman. "You better go and tell your husband-to-be what you were doing here. If you're going to ruin your life, why drag another one's with yourself?"

The woman did react this time by gathering her clothes and purse and running off. Hector looked at the man who was recording it. "I am disappointed with this generation."

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After relieving himself, he returned to his seat and sat down, being much calmer now. Steve was beside him, shocked similarly.

"If this continues, it won't be aliens who destroy us but humanity's inability to control our deep dark desires. We're doomed at this rate. With the ease of life and good times, it seems the human mind has become weaker too.

"How can someone even think that doing this was right? This goes way beyond a simple fetish. I need some statistics, is this culture normal or not?" Hector muttered to himself.

Steve nodded. "I think since people have nothing to worry about now, they are taking unnecessary risks. First, it was World War before, then Cold War. Humans were always at risk of destruction, but now that we're safe, they are looking for thrills. I don't know."

Hector realized the destruction of society and common sense was happening. He knew such things couldn't be tackled by giving a speech either.

"There is only one way to fix this then."

What needed to be done was mental correction. Calling stupid a stupid, not brave, was the need of the hour. Like how a mother scolds the child for doing something wrong, people needed that too.

But right now, with the help of social media, all the stupid ones with dumb ideas have gathered and grouped together. There is always some power and pull in numbers.

Banging a dozen men just for fun is a mental disorder, conveniently called a fetish sometimes. Similarly, a man fantasizing about sleeping with a dozen women in one go is stupid too. For too long, the world had been too kind and forgiving, which has made these humans try to find different ways to entertain themselves.

~There is one way to fix all this. I should use the mass media at my disposal. So many social networking sites are under me too. The real problem is also the new generation which is highly impressionable. This should not be hard.~

Hector was not against free speech. He was against stupidity. He believed that society must always have some values that it should stick with. What are societal values? Religion? Laws? No. It's simply common sense.

"It seems common sense is a rare cuisine these days. Well, let's get over Logan's marriage first."

...

In no time, the whole gang returned to Canada, to the home of Logan, and got dressed in fine suits. Only close friends were invited, so they could be themselves. Even the photographers were some kids from Mutant School.

Hector, as the elder of the planet, was called to read the vows for the two.

"This is the strangest marriage I am presiding over—a mortal marrying the goddess of Death. Well, I guess you get to know new things every now and then.

Anyway, since both of you are so deep in love, let's continue. Logan, do you promise to love, cherish and entertain your dear wife until dea... bwahaha, that does not make sense. Until eternity ends?"

Logan chuckled and nodded with a grunt. He was feeling somewhat embarrassed for having to do all this.

"Great. So, Lady Death, do you promise to love, cherish, entertain and keep my boy here alive until eternity ends?"

"Gladly, Lord Inquisitor." She chirped.

"Amazing, now kiss and seal the deal."

Logan took the lead and pulled Lady Death close to kiss. It was shocking to most eyes since she was an ancient all-powerful being, and here she was being touched and loved by a simple man... okay, not very simple.

"IT'S TIME FOR A PARTY NOW!" All of a sudden, someone shouted and blasted loud music. It was simply the American national anthem.

Hector looked around and found the voice. But after one glance, all that came out of his mouth was profanity. He noticed a masked man with a blonde wig, high heels, and a one-piece dress. "Fuck! Why is Deadpool here?!"

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