Chapter 26: Padlock

*knock knock*

Two knocks on her bedroom window went unnoticed by Cindy Moon as she lay on her bed, scrolling through social media and listening to music through her headphones. Her scrolling was soon interrupted by a notification from Eren, though she immediately swiped it away, ignoring him.

Her feelings toward him had grown more complex than usual. They'd been friends for years, though their friendship was starting to feel more one-sided as it progressed. This one-sidedness felt as if it had doubled within the last half-year. Even as children, she knew that Eren was a closed-off person and for years, Cindy invited him to open up to her, to vent his problems and speak about his feelings but he rejected the many attempts.

When his mother died, he disappeared for months to grieve. She felt horrible when he didn't speak to her during that time. She was scared, she felt useless. She wanted to help him but she couldn't. This long absence didn't anger her at all, since it was understandable that such a traumatic event could require some time alone, she was only upset at herself for not being a good enough friend to be someone to turn to.

However, him standing her up on their date and disappearing without a word or good excuse was the final straw for her. Speaking to Harry and thinking about the situation for herself, she could acknowledge that she was reacting in a selfish manner. Still, at the same time, she was sick of being left in the dark. It felt as if she was being lied to and she felt as if he didn't view her as a true friend, let alone anything more than friends. She knew he was hiding something but couldn't figure out what it was. Regardless, she didn't care anymore. If he wanted to keep hiding, to keep running, he could do it in the opposite direction.

Once again, Eren sent her a text message, this time actually stopping Cindy from continuing to scroll through her social media feed as she read it.

[Eren: I'm at your window. Please let me talk to you.]

Cindy frowned at her phone before turning her body to look at the window. She had a curtain covering it, but she could see his silhouette from the other side. "Seriously?" Cindy muttered, staring at the window with a look of contempt.

*knock knock knock*

'Please open the window...' Eren thought to himself, standing out in the cold, New York air wearing his everyday clothes. He knew that showing up at her house uninvited wasn't the best idea, but it was the only thing he could come up with as he wasn't experienced with any sort of girl problems before.

After a few long, agonizing seconds, Cindy moved the curtain, meeting Eren face to face through the other side of the glass window. Eren waved at her awkwardly, though she continued to stare at him with a blank stare and furrowed eyebrows that showed him that she was not delighted to see him in the slightest. Eren then put his hands together as if he were begging her to open it, prompting her to roll her eyes and unlock the window.

"What?" She said coldly as she opened the door, allowing the chilling New York air to infiltrate her space and wrap her body in its coldness.

"I want to apologize for my past actions." The boy answered with a sincere, low voice. A voice nearly low enough to become a whisper.

Cindy was perplexed, prompting her to respond to his answer with a hushed, yet assertive voice. "So you climbed my fire escape and knocked on my window like we're in a shojo?" Cindy was still visibly displeased. The nerve of him, she thought, to just show up there uninvited as if that were going to magically fix the rift between them.

"Yes." Eren replied plainly. "I'm bad at this. Harry's advice was even worse. This is the best I could come up with, just please hear me out." Cindy thought about his request for a few seconds, watching him shiver as he stood on the fire escape with his arms crossed.

"Hurry up then, it's cold." She replied. She wasn't going to let him in, but she would at least let him say what he had to say. He's stubborn, she knew this, so she knew he wouldn't give up if she told him to leave.

"Okay." The boy inhaled slowly before releasing that same long breath outward. His heart was racing, he'd never opened up to anyone in the way that he had planned on doing at this exact moment and her potential reaction terrified him.

"I have a lot of problems, Cindy. I really do." Eren admitted. Cindy was surprised, but she nodded in agreeance, still staring at him with her fake-unforgiving gaze. "Ever since I was a child, I haven't been able to really express how I feel or tell people things about my life and stuff. Even when we first met, I was already shut down after what happened with my dad."

Eren paused, it was hard for him to speak on such matters even after all those years. Regardless of that fact, he kept going, putting a determined expression on his face. "I never learned how to talk about these things. I hated when people would worry about me and I'm afraid of losing people. That's why I push you and Harry away all the time. I'm afraid to let you guys be... involved with me."

"Involved with you?" Cindy asked.

Eren was afraid of what would happen if Spider-Man and Eren Parker were to one day no longer be two separate men, having their lives converge into one. He wondered how that would affect both separate lives.

Can Spider-Man allow Eren to give Cindy Moon the attention and time she needs?

Can Eren Parker allow Spider-Man to give the city of New York the protection and hope that it needs?

Can she love a murderer?

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What if his enemies found out?

Would they hurt his friends?

Of course, those were merely thoughts in his head, he couldn't tell her about being Spider-Man just yet. Eren nodded and opted to explain his feelings in a way that was truthful while avoiding the superhuman aspects of that same truth. "I feel like everyone I love gets hurt. Whether it be emotionally, like what I've done to you and maybe even Harry to an extent, or physically, like my parents no longer being here... I can't help but blame myself for it. I'm afraid."

Cindy was beginning to understand him. For the last few days, she thought he was the one being selfish, but in reality, it was her. It wasn't her fault for acting selfishly, she hadn't really had the opportunity to understand him since he kept everything locked inside. Her once upset expression had then transformed to that of empathy as she spoke.

"That wasn't your fault, Eren. There's nothing you could have done." Though to her, it was true that there's nothing he could have done to save his parents, Eren thought otherwise. Ever since he was a child, he'd wished he was smart enough to notice that his father was sick before the disease became untreatable, despite there being no warning signs. When it came to his mother, he wished that he was there to stop her murder from happening, despite there being no possible way for him to foresee the murder.

Eren nodded regardless of his own negative thoughts. Though he did blame himself still, he was beginning to accept that there was nothing he could have done. "I've done a lot of self-discovery and self-reflection recently and I no longer have that fear of loss, or at least, not to the same degree. My teacher, Dr. Connors, he told me something recently that stuck with me. 'Everything you do is a risk. Not doing anything is also a risk. Which risk will you choose?'." Eren glared down at Cindy's hand as it rested on the windowsill, considering if he should place his hand atop hers.

His chest felt as if it were about to burst as he opened up to her while building up the courage to confess to her. He could dodge bullets and run at super speed, but this was one of the hardest things for him to do in his life. "I'm not afraid anymore. I'm not afraid of being with you, Cindy. For years, I've wanted to be with you so badly but I couldn't bring myself to do it because of those stupid fearful thoughts." With those words, the young hero grabbed the woman of his dreams by the hand softly, startling her with his forwardness.

Cindy began to blush slightly, growing flustered as things were happening so quickly. Just moments ago, she was telling herself that she was ready to let him go due to how closed off he was. However, as if he read her mind, he did the one thing she'd been waiting years for.

"I know that standing you up hurts, I'm sorry. It won't happen again, I promise you. If I do somehow hurt you again, I will leave you alone forever. You'll never have to see me again." Though he sounded juvenile and foolish in saying this as a young adult, he was serious. He truly didn't want to hurt her anymore, so if leaving her alone was the only way to do that, he'd do it.

"You don't need to go that far, Eren." Cindy spoke softly as she flipped her hand that Eren's rested his on, using it to grab his hand and hold it delicately. With a sweet expression and soft voice, Cindy continued. "I'm sorry too, Eren. I was being really selfish when I got upset with you. I just... I can never read you, Eren. You're so closed off all the time, you're like a closed book that's being held together by a padlock. Sometimes it makes me feel like I'm not important enough to you. I was only thinking of myself when I thought those things. I forgot that you've been through so much and I only saw my own problems."

"You are important to me, Cindy. And don't blame yourself. I wasn't speaking to you and you reacted reasonably. I'm truly sorry for not making it clear how important you are to me. If it wasn't for you, and Harry too, I don't even know if I'd be here right now. You two are part of the reason I was able to keep going. You've both done so much for me and I've been a bad friend." Eren said sadly, his gaze still locked onto their hands embracing each other.

Cindy shook her head, grabbing Eren by the chin to raise his gaze back to hers. She had the smallest of grins on her face, realizing how silly the two of them were being during their short misunderstanding. "You're not a bad friend, Eren. If you were, I don't think I would have opened my window for you tonight, but I'm glad I did. You're brave for finally opening up. Even if you're totally being a romance anime character right now." Cindy laughed slightly as her hand rested on Eren's auburn skin, rubbing his cheek slightly with her thumb.

Her touch combined with her warm voice and humor brought a smile to Eren's face. He laughed slightly, shaking his head in denial. "You should've heard Harry's idea, it was way worse, trust me."

Just as the mood was beginning to lighten up between the two, a knock was heard from her bedroom door, interrupting the two high schooler's heart-to-heart moment.

"Cindy, come empty the dishwasher." Cindy's mother's voice could be heard through her bedroom door, once again her door being the catalyst for disrupting a moment between the two.

"Coming, Mom!" Cindy yelled behind her before directing her attention back to Eren with an apologetic expression. "I gotta go...do that. I'll call you." Cindy smiled slightly, her face still red either due to the cold or her feelings for Eren, or maybe even a combination of both.

"And I'll answer. I promise." Eren began lifting his hand away from Cindy's, only for her to grip his hand even tighter with her warm grip.

"Before you go." Cindy paused, her eyes darted around Eren while avoiding direct eye contact until she built up enough courage to look him in the eye and saw what she felt. "I feel the same way about you... I mean, what you said about wanting to be together. I want to try, maybe. Goodnight, Eren" Eren was stunned to the point where he couldn't respond as Cindy swiftly released his hand and began closing the window.

"Goodnight." Eren whispered though the window was already closed.

As soon as the curtain closed, Eren released a sigh of relief. His heart rate had reached astronomical heights, feeling as if he had once again transformed into his Ultimate Godspeed form. Eren looked around, seeing that he was alone before backflipping down to the ground beneath the fire escape, landing perfectly like a gymnast. He felt relieved like a weight had been lifted off of his shoulders.

Before Eren Parker could get another moment to himself, a notification from his crime tracker appeared on his phone, informing him of a nearby robbery. He sighed, remembering that he had a balancing act to keep up.

And so, Spider-Man ran behind the apartment building and began suiting up, removing Eren Parker's everyday clothes to reveal his blue and black suit beneath it. The sound of sirens could be heard in the distance, as the then fully costumed Spider-Man lept in the air with his mask in hand, pulling it over his face before web-zipping toward the commotion.

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