Chapter 5: Loss of Faith

Standing in the cold rain, Eren Parker, the boy who had lost everything, stood feeling no emotion as he stared down at his mother and father's graves. The boy stood in the same spot for hours after the funeral, being the only one that remained. His mother's one wish, a wish she told him long ago, was that once she passes, she wanted to be buried next to her husband.

Their son, the only one left to carry on the Parker name, made that final wish come true for her. It was the least he could do.

Soon, the boy fell to his knees as tears continued to flood his face along with the chilling rain. Not knowing what to do with himself, he shouted in torment.

"AAAAAAAAAAH!" The boy's hysterical screech echoed through the empty graveyard, being heard by no one but himself and the souls at rest.

"Why? God, why?" The boy attempted to speak to his creator, though he received no response. He wasn't very religious, his family would only go to church for holidays such as Christmas and Easter. Regardless, through his anguish, he searched for answers. "Why me? What did I do wrong!?" He questioned audibly and loudly, punching the grass as he asked each question.

He felt betrayed.

He felt useless.

He felt like nothing more than a speck on the Earth, as unimportant as the worms crawling in the dirt beneath him.

Before his father died, he prayed every single day for a cure to be found for his disease...

The prayer did nothing.

When his mother was all he had left, he prayed that she would live a full life and be with him through his adult life...

The prayer did nothing.

He wondered if God was even real at that point. If there was truly a creator, he wondered if he got a kick out of watching people suffer in the way that they do.

Criminals.

Murderers.

Rapists.

They all lived in this world. If there was a God, the boy wondered why those things existed, and why were they created.

His thoughts soon shifted to those of jealous rage, thinking of the millions of people in the world who have never experienced loss, and yet, there he was suffering all alone before his parents' graves.

"Why did you take everything I had!?" He screamed into the dark, empty sky as the rain crashed directly onto his brown-skinned face. "What do you want from me?"

The boy calmed down, speaking quietly as he stared blankly at his mother and father's graves. "Are you going to take them next?" Eren thought of Cindy Moon and his new friend Harry Osborn. He was close to Cindy, he was in love with her. He wondered if she would be taken away similarly. Despite not knowing Harry long, he'd grown quite fond of him. If they'd grow closer, he wondered if just like his parents, Harry would be lost.

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'Would getting closer to them be worth losing them in the end...' He thought to himself. 'Would just being alone be better?'

The boy continued to weep quietly until the sound of thunder crackling above him reminded him of the powers he received not too long prior.

"Why did I get these powers..." The boy whispered as he looked down at the palm of his right hand. "Was it to mock me? Is it some sick form of irony?" Despite having super strength, the boy still felt powerless. He didn't see his powers as a gift, he merely saw them as nothing more than a curse.

"What is my purpose?" He whispered painfully.

"Why am I so bitter? Why do I feel so much hatred and pain inside me yet, I feel empty." He thought of the moment when he killed Fisk and watched his body splatter on the pavement below him.

When it happened, he thought he would feel satisfied.

He thought he'd feel like his mother was avenged.

However, this was far from what he felt.

He felt disgusted with himself. He killed a man, a father, for nothing.

It was pointless.

All he did was continue the cycle and put his own pain onto someone else; the little girl in the picture with FIsk.

"If I kill Herman, what will that bring me? Would I still feel nothing? Is it because Fisk didn't pull the trigger so I'm not satisfied? Will I ever be satisfied? Would killing him simply make it to where my own pain is once again shared with someone else? Would killing Herman be pointless too?" Once again, he wanted answers but he received no response.

"You're useless..." The boy said quietly, words that could be interpreted in many ways.

The boy continued to weep over his parents in the chilling rain for over an hour, not moving an inch from his position on his hands and knees. He didn't know what to do with himself anymore. Part of him wanted to just rot away and die on the spot where his parents rested or perhaps climb to the tallest building in the city and let gravity do what it wanted with him.

Those thoughts waned after some time.

Eventually, the Phantom Spider stood back up on his feet and took one last long look at his parents' resting place with determination in his eyes.

"I will make things right." He spoke, looking directly at his mother's grave with a clenched fist.

With those final words, the boy turned around and walked away from his parents' graves. As he walked home, alone in the dark, he wondered if he'd be able to keep his promise.

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