Chapter 82: Noise (Cindy)

Cindy Moon, the girlfriend and crime-fighting partner of Spider-Man, took his death just as badly, if not worse than the Osborn child. Not only did she blame herself, but the feeling of being useless began to eat her up from the inside.

She tried fighting crime by herself, with Harry's help sometimes, but things weren't the same. Every time she put on her suit, she could feel nothing else but dreadful guilt. Eren's face and his voice would appear before her as if his spirit haunted her.

For months, she tried to use her sense to track down his body, hoping that he was somehow alive, but she couldn't find him.

Cindy was struggling to cope with not only losing her little brother, but the man she planned on spending the rest of her life with within just months of each other. Cindy was spiraling into a deep depression. A depression that was holding her back in every single aspect of her life. Her hobbies were no longer existent. That beautiful, bright smile of hers never saw the light of day. Her grades began to slip. Silk was starting to disappear.

Harry left her a text message saying that he was leaving for a year to train and get stronger. He told her "Remember what Eren said? He's leaving the city to us, right? So I'm going to train with this guy from Russia. His name is Kraven the Hunter. By the time I come back, I'll be so much stronger, then I can respect his wishes. Besides, I can't be by your side if I'm weak, right?"

Reading his message, Cindy remembered her promise to Eren. She looked around her room, seeing the disgusting mess that built up during her long-lasting episode of depression, and realized that this was no way to live.

Harry suggested she go to therapy, he even offered to pay for her sessions with the guy who he used to go to after his mother died. Wanting to change and get better, Cindy decided to go through with it.

And so, a few months after Harry left on his trip, Cindy Moon found herself standing outside of an office door with the name Dr. Beck plastered onto it. She was nervous, however, she was ready. The door was cracked open, so Cindy knocked lightly before entering.

"Ms. Moon? Come on in." A man with slick-back hair, glasses, and a beige coat opened up his office to let Cindy Moon enter. She nodded, entering the room as he held the door open for her.

"Go ahead and have a seat." The therapist pointed over to a corner of the room with two sofas perpendicular to each other with a coffee table at the center of it. Cindy obliged, sitting on one of the sofas.

The doctor sat at the other one, crossing one leg on his lap before speaking to her. "Good afternoon, Ms. Moon. I'm Dr. Beck. How are you doing today?"

"I'm… Okay." Cindy couldn't even look up at him as she spoke. He studied her body language closely, taking mental notes as he analyzed her.

"Hmm… Okay, let's try this: Tell me how you feel on a scale of one to ten." As the doctor asked her this, he pulled out a notepad and clicked his pen before writing something at the top of the page fairly quickly.

"I don't know… Five?" Cindy saying this triggers the doctor to write on his notepad quickly once again before putting it down and looking at his client with a slight welcoming grin.

"Alright. What brings you here today? Ms. Moon?"

Cindy sighed, barely even knowing where to start, before venting out to him.

"I… I don't know. I think I've been depressed ever since my boyfriend and brother died. My brother was only fourteen years old... he just started high school. He was my best friend in the whole world, I loved him so much. I wish I spent more time with him, but I was so busy with college and my job that I started seeing him less and less. Now he's gone...

After my boyfriend died, not too long after, I felt so useless. My boyfriend meant everything to me, he was my other half. The night he died, we had such a beautiful moment with each other, I truly felt what it meant to love someone. I truly felt what it was like to be loved by someone. I loved him for so long and hearing him say it and explain why to me… I was so happy." Cindy paused, trying to hold back the tears. She began to choke up, barely able to speak as she remembered that dreadful day of her partner's sacrifice.

"Then he gave his life to protect me and all I could do was stand there and watch." The tears she once held back began to flood her face as she continued to audibly weep. "I let him die. I should've died in his place. I'm nothing compared to him."

This was the first time that Cindy had spoken to anyone about losing Eren. She could feel the weight of it all begin to lift off of her chest.

'I see...' Dr. Beck formed a diagnosis in his head before asking more questions to confirm his theory. "I'm sorry to hear that. That's a lot for you to go through at such as young age… After the event, did you feel any type of physical changes in your body? Headaches?"

Cindy nodded, sniffing through her tears before answering his questions. "Yeah, I've been having headaches every day, especially when I've been thinking about them. I can't sleep because of these thoughts and the headaches too. One time I don't know what was happening but my heart started racing really fast and-" Cindy tried to speak but her own emotions interrupted her, causing her to cover her mouth with her hand to prevent her from weeping.

"It's okay, Cindy. Take your time." Dr. Beck looked at her sympathetically. It pained him to see someone as young as her feel so much pain. She wiped her tears and continued to vent to him.

"My chest started to hurt and the events kept replaying in my head. I started throwing things, I don't know why but I was so angry at myself!" Cindy began to speak passionately about the situation as tears streamed down her face. Dr. Beck continues to look at her sadly. "What's wrong with me, Dr. Beck? Why am I going crazy?" She looked up at him with a face soaked in tears, begging him for an answer.

She couldn't tell him everything without giving away her identity but what she could tell him was only half of it. Her Silk-Sense would often go haywire, which is what she meant by headaches. She could feel as if she could sense everything in the city at times. She would call these moments a 'Silk-Sense Overload'. Whether it be a robbery across the city or a child feeling afraid of a dog, she could feel it.

She didn't understand how it works, but her psychic abilities seemed to have upgraded themselves. Perhaps due to her trying so hard to sense Eren, her senses became incredibly sensitive to the point where she couldn't even think. She couldn't sleep at night because of it, so she set up a sleeping bag inside what was once the Spider-Cave so she can sleep in peace beneath the thick ceiling and walls.

Even before the Silk-Sense Overloads, she found herself acting more violent toward criminals, nearly killing a lowly convenience store robber out of anger. This is part of the reason why she quit being a hero, she couldn't trust herself or her mental state.

She became bitter and rageful. She didn't want that to interfere with her actions.

As Cindy continued to cry, the doctor reached over and grabbed some tissue off of the table and handed them to her so she could dry her tears. He put his hands together in his lap before telling her what was happening to her.

"There's nothing 'wrong' with you, Cindy. Everyone goes through things. What you're feeling right now is perfectly normal. What you're describing could likely be a form of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. This is a normal occurrence after a traumatic event, such as the death of someone close happening in front of you. It's really complicated, but one of your biggest symptoms seems to be survivor's guilt with your boyfriend's death, which has a million symptoms of its own."

Upon receiving all of this information, Cindy could do nothing but stare forward as she sniffled. The doctor continued on despite her unresponsiveness.

"There are a few things we can do here, Ms. Moon. How long has it been? A month? Half a year?"

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"Three months, it happened in December." She continued to wipe her face with the tissues upon giving her response.

"I see. It's very normal to still have these feelings for that amount of time. Grieving is part of the recovery process. I think before we try any serious treatments, such as extensive behavioral therapy or medications, we should try giving it some time. Okay?"

Cindy nodded, wiping her face once more.

"Do you have any hobbies? Sports? Gaming?"

"Yeah, I um. Do Taekwondo and figure skating."

"Gotcha. Well, keep on going with Taekwondo, skating when you can, and maybe try discovering other hobbies for now. We'll have weekly checkups if that's okay with you so we can see what you're doing.

During this time, I want you to try and forgive yourself for what happened. It wasn't your fault. You have to accept what happened, move on and learn from it. For now, I think we've reached a good stopping point, if you agree."

Cindy nodded.

"Perfect. I'll see you at the same time next week, Ms. Moon."

Once the session ended, the two of them said their goodbyes, and Cindy headed home.

Now in her room, Cindy lay in her bed, staring up at the stars hanging on her ceiling. It was around 2 AM at this point, but she couldn't fall asleep due to her thoughts and her Silk-Sense overwhelming her.

"Help!"

"Oh, no! It's burning!"

"Ah! Don't jump out and scare me like that!"

"Get out of the way! Where'd you get your license, a cereal box?"

"Freeze! Come out with your hands up!'

So many different voices seemingly called out to her. She couldn't handle the noise anymore, so she headed over to the Osborn residence and used the key to the garage that Harry gave her. The noise continued all the way up until she reached the lift. She took the lift down to the underground cave, still feeling as if her head was about to explode.

Eventually, she stumbled her way over to the training room and opened the door. She walks into the metallic training bunker, still feeling affected by the outside world's problems until she shut the door...

Silence.

No more Silk-Sense. No more noise. Just silence.

She took a sigh of relief before crawling into the sleeping bag that she had placed not too long ago within the chamber. She shut her eyes and almost immediately fell asleep, thinking about Eren.

"No!" Cindy found herself back at the scene of Eren's death, falling to her knees helplessly as Eren sacrificed himself.

"Cindy. Harry. I'm leaving the city to you. This time for real."

"You can't do that! I'm nothing without you! I can't fight by myself!"

"You're right. You can't. You've been a burden to me all this time. If it wasn't for you holding me back, I could've beaten the Green Goblin all by myself. It's all your fault." Eren's voice scolded her, causing her eyes to widen in shock.

"Right? She's useless. She should've killed him in the museum, but she's a coward. " Harry looked down at Cindy with disgust written all over his face.

"I'm almost there. This is it, guys. My blood is on your hands, Cindy. Goodbye." Eren's voice sounded equally as disgusted as Harry's face looked. She could feel the hatred within him with each word spoken.

????????????????!

As the bomb blew up, Cindy woke up in a cold sweat inside the combat chamber.

Another nightmare. This was the thirty-fifth nightmare she's had because of the event, each one showing a distorted version of what actually happened that day.

Even in her sleep, she couldn't escape the noise of her own thoughts.

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