Chapter 18: 17

Chapter 17 - Don’t Believe the Fortune-Telling in the Morning Show!

“So, what is Yoshiwara’s current situation?” Gintoki finally got straight to the point.

“Some people have to be dealt with, those who are close to the Bakufu and Harusame Space Pirates. Someone saw what happened that day. After dealing with this group of people, we pretend that the Night King is still there. In short, we can only hide it like this.” Kawaki casually replied.

“Is it worth it? Will you let your hands be stained with blood again?”

“It’s not me who did it. Our… battle has already ended.”

“Hey, why do I feel that the atmosphere has suddenly become heavy…” Shinpachi could not help but say, “Everyone, hurry up and eat! If you don’t eat it, it will be overcooked!” Shinpachi hurriedly called out to everyone.

“Speaking of which, why is Kawaki-san a panda faction?” Shinpachi couldn’t help but ask.

“There are three reasons! First, if you insist, it is very cute. Second, you can’t eat it. Third, I don’t eat what it eats.” Kawaki said with a little pride.

“I don’t know how to retort at all. It’s just the same as it’s cute and not in the same food chain as you!” Shinpachi said with a face full of black lines, “Why is Miss Tsukuyo from the Raccoon faction? Is it because it’s also very cute?”

“Oh, I belong to the Bear faction-aru.”

“It doesn’t seem like a raccoon is a bear, right? Is a raccoon a bear? Speaking of which, there are actually bears faction. It’s really incredible.” Shinpachi lamented.

“No, I didn’t say anything.” Tsukuyo raised her hand and said.

“The bear is the cutest-aru. I always wanted to raise one!”

“Aru?” Shinpachi looked in the direction of the voice in confusion. At the same time, the other three also looked over. They saw an orange-red-haired girl with a bunhead holding a pair of chopsticks continuously picking up food from the hot pot and sending it into her mouth.

“Who are you?” The four people asked at the same time.

“Kagura-aru.” The girl replied without raising her head. 

(TL note: Kagura always adds “aru” in her sentences, a Japanese stereotype of Chinese accents.)

“Kagura?”

“Aru?”

…

“Put down the rice cooker! You rotten wood from who knows where! How much do you want to eat? Why do you come to other people’s houses and eat their meals at ease?” Gintoki grabbed the rice cooker in Kagura’s hand and shouted, but it did not work. The pot did not move at all.

But in the end, Kagura loosened her hand. In an instant, Gintoki slipped and fell out with the rice cooker. However, Gintoki found that the entire rice cooker was empty.

“Another pot-aru!” Kagura shouted.

“There’s no such thing! This is not that kind of restaurant! Money, money, pay me after eating other people’s food, you bum! Stop drooling at my hot pot! Why do you still eat it! Hot pot is not eaten like that!” Gintoki put the rice cooker back to its original position and looked at Kagura, who was eating the hot pot again.

After the end of the rice cooker competition, Gintoki and Kagura started a new hot pot competition. But the result was exactly the same as the rice cooker.

“It… It’s empty…” Gintoki murmured as he held the hot pot that he had snatched over.

“Well, the main course is almost done. This little girl seems to have not eaten for a long time. Don’t mind so much.” Shinpachi came out to mediate.

“What do you mean don’t mind so much!” Gintoki pulled Shinpachi’s clothes and shouted, “This is my home! She eats my food! She eats my hot pot!” As he spoke, he looked at Kagura, who had taken out a pudding from somewhere, “You, you can’t! That Pudding absolutely can’t!”

However, it was too late. Kagura had already thrown the pudding into her mouth, chewed, and swallowed it.

“That…” Gintoki instantly knelt down and kept knocking on the wooden floor, “I hid that in order not to let Kawaki find it.

I hid it so secretly… Why? Why? Why do I feel so unlucky today? The fortune divination in the TV program earlier said that my luck today is surprisingly good! “

“Gintoki, have you fallen too? You actually believe in those superstitious things.” Kawaki said with a sneer.

“No taste at all; just give me the vinegar kelp next time-aru.” Kagura was cleaning her teeth using a toothpick while burping. At the same time, she was stroking her bloated stomach with her other hand.

“Do you know how much brain cells I used to hide this pudding? If I don’t add some sweet food every day, I will feel like I have no energy for a day! Tell me, how are you going to compensate me?”

“Then I’ll give it back to you-aru.” Kagura said as she placed the empty hot pot in front of him again, “Blergh…”

After vomiting, Kagura wiped the saliva from her mouth. “I… I gave it back to you-aru…”

“How can I still eat it! You’re an idiot! You’re an absolute idiot! Can you just spit it out?! Pay up! if you don’t want to pay, buy me a new one and put it in the original place!”

“Hmph, Edo is a place like this,” Kagura pretended to be dejected, “No matter how indifferent anyone is and doesn’t care about people. It seems that this is the smartest way of living-aru. Even in the face of a very cute underage girl like me, they are not willing to lend a hand.”

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“There is no girl who can finish an entire pot of rice in one go! There is also no ordinary girl who is holding a hot pot to eat hot pot, right?” Gintoki complained, and then he felt three strange eyes, “What are you looking at? Why are you looking at me like you are looking at scum? Is it my fault? Why does it seem like it is all my fault.”

“Hey, Kagura, why are you in our house? Did something happen to you?” Shinpachi put on an amiable look.

“I… hate dork with glasses-aru.”

“Hey! I said a few words for you!”

“Actually, I smelled a familiar smell while being chased… walking the road,” Kagura said to herself as if she had not heard anything.

“Hey, I seemed to have heard something incredible just now. She seemed to have said the word chase, right? She definitely said it!” Shinpachi interrupted.

However, Kagura continued as if she had not heard anything, “In the end, I followed that familiar smell and came here-aru. After that, I heard about pandas, raccoons, and so on. Then this boy with eyeglass invited me to eat hot pot together…”

“You… have been here since the beginning? Who invited you to eat hot pot together! And what did you mean by chasing just now? Don’t pretend that you didn’t hear me!” Shinpachi looked at Kagura, who was whistling on the side.

“Actually, I… I heard that I could earn a lot of money if I came to Edo. So I came from a distant planet. My family is poor, and all three meals were Furikake seasoning on rice. I’d like to be at least able to eat raw egg and soy sauce on rice! As Mummy said before-aru, there is an idiot uncle on earth, and I just wanted to find him. But…” As she said that, Kagura’s expression started to become a little sad, and she covered her face and made a look like she was about to cry. 

(TL noted: Furikake is a Japanese seasoning typically made with toasted sesame seeds, nori, salt, sugar. It varies from region to region can also include anything from bonito flakes to chili flakes to miso powder to shitake powder to poppy seeds.)

“Why are you saying it here?! Please go to the talent show with such a sad story! Those judges will definitely turn around for you! By then, it will not be a problem to eat raw egg and soy sauce on rice every day!” Gintoki couldn’t help but shout.

“Too… too touching!” Kawaki sniffed and raised the sign [I WANT YOU!] that had appeared out of nowhere.

“That’s right… This child’s life is too difficult. Don’t worry; your dream has been conveyed to us.” Tsukuyo said as she raised the same sign.

“I can’t believe you have such a story. Come to my team!” Shinpachi wiped his tears as he raised the same sign.

“Hey! It really became a talent show! That’s enough, you guys!”

Just as Gintoki finished complaining, the door was suddenly knocked. At the same time, everyone heard the sound of several cars.

“Who is it? Can’t you see that I, Gin-san, am angry?” Gintoki cursed as he walked towards the door.

“It’s them!” Kagura said as she ran towards the back window and jumped down.

“Them?” Gintoki turned around and saw that Kagura had already jumped out of the window, “Hey, don’t just say half of what you want to say!”

“Gintoki, there is a smell of gunpowder in the air,” Kawaki suddenly said.

“Ah?” Just as Gintoki spoke, the door was pushed open. At the same time, a gun was pressed against Gintoki’s forehead.

An afro-head wearing sunglasses sneered and said, “Where is that little girl? Don’t say that you don’t know; our people saw her come here.” At the same time, several afros appeared at the door and looked at Kawaki and the others inside with ill intent.

However, at this subtle moment, Kawaki could not help but laugh out loud.

“What are you laughing at” An afro-head could not help but shout.

“Nothing. I definitely did not laugh at your afro-head. I definitely did not think that your afro-head was funny. Really, you believe me.” Kawaki stood up and said righteously. But after he finished speaking, Kawaki could not help but laugh again.

“Hey, big brother, he said that he is not laughing at our afro-head.” An afro-head whispered at the afro-head who pointed a gun at Gintoki.

“This is not an afro-head! It is an afro-roll! Remember it clearly!” The leader kept talking to Kawaki and the others in the room.

“Really? But it looks like an afro-head(laughs),” Gintoki turned around and said to the leader.

“Why do you have to add a parenthesis to laugh! Are you laughing at our hairstyle? This is the afro-roll, not the afro-head!” The leader retorted.

“This is my habit(Pudding), just like this.” Gintoki waved his hand and said.

“What a rare habit.” The leader nodded and said, “Ah, that’s not right! We are here to find that girl!” The leader finally reacted.

However, it was too late. Kawaki and Tsukuyo had already unloaded all their guns. At the same time, Kawaki pointed his umbrella at them, and Gintoki also pulled out his wooden sword…

([Foreign Voice]: Author, didn’t you say that Kagura will appear in the last chapter? Why didn’t it appear until this chapter?

[A certain author]: Hey? Haven’t you already discovered it? You also asked why there are five people, isn’t it?

[Foreign Voice]: Does that count? You are completely fooling people!

[A certain author]: Well, the camera is so big. Isn’t it normal to miss one or two people occasionally? (pick nose)

[Foreign Voice]: … )

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