Chapter 20: Chapter 20: Confession

Yesterday was the most embarrassing day of my life.

I had accidentally come out and confessed to my crush due to the effects of a certain villain's powers. I had forgotten to drop them after I left the museum, and I had paid the price for my carelessness.

After I confessed, and mentally recovered, I dropped the powers and explained myself. About how the villain's powers made me say the opposite of what I meant, and how it was totally a joke and I didn't mean it and…

Well, it wasn’t my best moment.

She understood, or seemed to at least, she hasn't once mentioned the confession since the phone call ended, and so neither did I. If we can just move on and pretend it didn't happen then I would be happy.

So why was I sitting here in my room, alone with Skye, playing a fighting game of all things? And why did it seem like it was only a matter of time before my demise?

“Game!” The announcer exclaimed as Skye won yet another round. Her reason she came in here was because she got bored and needed a break, so she dragged her game console into my room and demanded I play with her.

I used to play the game when I was younger, so I didn’t mind playing it again. Even despite the awkward atmosphere.

It was almost a little nostalgic seeing all my old favorite characters again. Skye was playing as a big turtle with a spiked shell that breathed fire, while I picked the space bounty hunter with an arm gun. 

But what she didn’t mention was just how good she was at the game. I couldn’t help but pout a little when she mercilessly beat me for the sixth round in a row.

She started giggling at my reaction as she scooted closer and nudged me with her shoulder. “C’mon Sarah don’t look so upset, you’re doing fine! You’re doing much better than Eve does when she plays.”

I had to scoot over an inch or two just so I could breathe, and to also desperately forget just how close she was right now. Especially after what happened yesterday.

Sitting this close to my crush is going to leave me a nervous mess.

“So how is she doing?” I asked as Skye loaded up the next round. It’s been a few days since Eve changed my body permanently and she is still recovering. I’m worried that she may have over-exhausted herself when she changed me.

“She’s recovering pretty well, she just needs to sleep off the exhaustion for about another day or so and she’ll be good as new,” Skye responded.

“That’s good to hear,” I sighed in relief. “If she had gotten hurt it would have killed me to know I was to blame.”

“Hey now, don’t talk like that. She knew how tired she’d be once she did it, but I bet she’s ecstatic that she helped you be you.” Skye said with a smile, before it changed to a nervous smile. “But...she’s gonna kill us anyway.”

“Huh? Why?”

“Once she finds out we went clothes shopping without her, while she was recovering…” Skye said with a shiver. “...it’s gonna be hell on earth.”

Earlier today I made an offhand comment to Skye about needing new clothes to go with the new me, and she nearly exploded with excitement. She was practically jumping up and down talking about all the styles she thought I would love.

She had said that the two of us should go to the mall again, and even if I wanted to I couldn’t say no. Not only did I want to try on new clothes, but seeing Skye’s excited adorable face made me forget all about not going.

And it only took one, definitely not short, trip for my closet to be absolutely filled. Blouses, skirts, dresses, you name it. It was mostly all stuff that was feminine leaning, stuff I was missing. I figured that when I wanted to dress 'boyish' I could just wear some of my old shirts and stuff. I hadn't changed so much that they were unwearable, but they were still pretty big on me.

Personally, my favorite thing I got was definitely the thigh-high socks, they were comfy.

I was also a little nervous about wearing a dress again, since the last time was back when I was just a little child. It felt like there was something preventing me from wearing one, like a mental block I couldn't get over. So for the meantime the dress is hung up in my closet, waiting for the day I can finally put it on.

“Guess we may as well plan another shopping trip then, once she recovers.” I offered.

Skye nodded. “She’d definitely love that, clothes shopping is her absolute favorite thing to do.”

I nodded back as the game announcer exclaimed “Game!” once again. Oops, I really wasn’t paying attention. Looks like Skye claimed her seventh win in a row.

She wasted no time at starting the next game up, at the same time she changed the conversation.

“So, how did your hero friend take you coming out?” 

“At first she was a little shocked,” I responded with a smile as I thought back to the night I called her and came out. “But by the end of the call she was pretty accepting, and was regretting that she was too busy to throw a party at her house. When I met her yesterday she didn't even mention it, just referring to me by Sarah and treating me like I was a girl the entire time."

“I’m glad she was supportive, everyone needs someone like that when they first realize who they are,” Skye said with a big smile. “I had Eve there with me when I first realized.”

“I’m just glad that all my friends, both old and new, accept who I am now despite how sudden I dropped it on everyone,” I said with a smile, trying to keep the waterworks from appearing. I don’t think I can even put into words how much they all mean to me.

“That’s what friends are for!” She exclaimed with a goofy grin. “Personally, I’m really happy you found yourself. I’m glad I finally have another trans friend, someone I can share our experiences with and talk about what it's like.”

She sighed. “Eve is a good listener, but she struggles to relate to most of it. Though I’m happy she tries to at least.”

I nodded as she finished. “I’m still new to all this, and it’s a little scary, but I’m happy that I have someone to rely on that's been through it all.”

She leaned over to give a quick hug, before we both turned to focus back on the game. We shared a moment of silence as we enjoyed each other's company. As the round ended, I spoke up a bit nervously.

“Can I admit something?” I asked to which Skye turned to look at me and nodded. “Is it weird that I feel like I don’t deserve this? I mean, I spent so long denying and refusing myself, while telling myself that I wasn’t good enough and-”

“Okay, gonna have to stop you there,” Skye interrupted with a serious tone. “There is no such thing as not being ‘good enough’ to be a girl. If you feel like a girl and want to be one, then you are one. Simple as that.”

“I know…” I sighed. “I know it’s all just the bad thoughts in the back of my mind, but it’s just hard to get rid of ten to fifteen years of denial in the span of a few days.”

She nodded. “I’ve been there, and it’s rough. It took me until I was twenty to find myself, and even when I did I was struggling with the same doubts as you do.”

She took a deep breath. “But eventually, I came to realize that there was no wrong way to be a girl. That I was allowed to just be one, that it was something that I could do.”

She looked towards me with a smile. “You are a very pretty girl, and there's nothing that the intrusive thoughts can say that gets rid of that fact.”

“T-Thanks…”I could feel the blush on my cheeks and I had to turn to look away. Skye giggled at my reaction, before she turned towards the game again and started the next round.

I got a bit more focused on the next game in an effort to ignore the effect her compliment had on me. Surprisingly, I found myself doing much better against her this time. I don’t know if she was holding back, or I’m just having a lucky break or what.

I was a whole life up on her, and the victory was in sight, but I got distracted as I noticed her lean in closer to the screen. She had her eyes glued to the screen, and was biting her lip in concentration. 

I couldn’t help but stare, the expression she was making was beyond just cute and adorable. I had to snap myself out of it when I heard the sound of my character losing a life, making me even with Skye.

She laughed. “This is the most fun game I’ve had in so long! Look how close it is!”

I turned back to the game with a blush, and our characters started trading blows with each other. At the end of the exchange I managed to knock her off the stage, but hadn’t ended the game yet.

And then she went for the low blow right as my character stood at the edge.

You are reading story Mimica at novel35.com

"So, did you have a crush on me?"

I froze, couldn't move my hands on the controller, couldn't move my head to look at her, couldn't even control my breathing anymore.

One of us fell off the stage, but I was having a hard time processing who won. 

It wasn’t important.

I turned to look at Skye who was staring back at me, a faint blush on her face as she waited patiently. She planned this, didn't she?

I knew the obvious answer. Just say no again, just keep pushing things back until I finally felt ready.

But would I ever feel ready?

I did the same thing to myself about my gender, always pushing it further and further back so I didn’t have to worry about it. Look where that got me, it took me a little over two decades for me to even realize I was a girl.

I wasn’t going to make the same mistake, I couldn’t.

I opened my mouth to speak, but found that no words could come out. Despite my best efforts I couldn't even make a single noise in response, so I settled for just nodding instead. An agonizing moment passed, where I was sure that Skye was about to be disgusted at me or yell at me to leave or-

“Thank god…”She sighed in relief.

“...huh?” I managed to find the confidence to speak again. “W-What do you mean by that?”

“It means I like you too dummy, I was just worried it was one-sided.” She said with a smile. “But I have to ask...did you and Eve have that talk?”

“That talk?” What is she on about? And wait, did she just say she likes me!?

“That girl…” She sighed. “She was supposed to tell you, but I guess I’ll have to do it instead.”

“Tell me what?” 

“Me and Eve are dating, and have been for the better part of a year now.” She said and I could feel myself deflating. Of course my first crush in so long would already have someone else.

“I see…” I muttered dejectedly. 

“Aww c’mon, don’t look like that.” She said, “I still like you, and if you want to we could go on a date or two to see how it goes.”

“But you’re dating Eve aren’t you?” I frowned. “I’m sure she doesn’t want her girlfriend seeing other people, especially ones that live in the same house as her.”

“She told me herself that she’s fine with it.” She responded as she rubbed the back of her neck, “Specifically, she gave me the approval to date you when I brought it up to her about a week ago. I just didn’t know when I wanted to ask you.”

“Huh...but...why…?” 

“Geez do I need to spell it out for you?” She giggled. “I’m poly, I want to date multiple people who are fine with that. I want to date you.”

“You...you can do that?” I asked in disbelief. She nodded.

“And you want to date...me?” She nodded once again. “And you’ve wanted to do that since a week ago...but that was before I even realized I was a girl!”

“Yep!”

My mind was having trouble comprehending what was going on…

Apparently, my crush likes me, that’s great.

She’s already dating someone, that’s not so great.

She says she still wants to date me, that’s...great…?

“So? What do you think?” She asked nervously. “About us dating, and me being poly.”

“Well...this isn’t going how I thought it would.” I sighed and thought it over. “But, I think it could work.”

She seemed nearly bursting with excitement as she stood up. “So does that mean!?”

I nodded with a smile. 

"I'd love to go on a date with you Skye," I told her, before her smile grew even wider and she started cheering. Except what I said next made her freeze in place. "However, as much as I'd want to go on a date right away, I think waiting for the whole situation with the Phantoms to finish up would be for the best."

"Oh…" She sounded dejected as she sat back down right next to me, shoulder to shoulder. "Yeah, I guess that makes sense."

"I'm sure it's just a matter of time before we crack the code on where their base is. Then we can go in, clean them up, and then finally put them behind us." I said as I tried to cheer her up. "Then we can go out on a date and have some fun, without worrying about what the Phantoms next big move would be."

She reached over and held my hand as she laid her head against my shoulder. Her thumb idly rubbing over the back of my own. She was silent as she contemplated whatever was on her mind.

"Skye?"

"This is nice, isn't it?" She asked as we sat there holding hands. I nodded and she continued. "Just the two of us, sitting in your room side by side."

"You're right, we should wait till things calm down a bit. But," She turned to look at me as her voice dropped to a whisper. "That doesn't mean we can't share little moments like this. Moments where the world fades away, and it's just me and you. What do you think?"

I felt my face heat up as her face was mere inches away from my own. "I…I think I'd like that."

She smiled and her eyes drifted a little lower, until she was staring at my lips and causing my blush to rise even further. 

She glanced back up, her own blush growing in intensity to match my own, and she asked one simple question.

"Sarah, can I kiss you?"

My brain was no longer sending signals to my mouth, words refused to form as I sat there a blushy gay mess, until eventually, with great effort, I nodded.

And that was how I shared my first kiss.