Chapter 14: 14. Missing Roots

"If you need any help just ask, ok?" Marianne said. "I'm sure that's all very new to you."

Eva smiled, "Thank you. I actually learned how to do this last week, working with Lexi's phone while she was asleep."

Marianne sat down on the bed with her phone, and a few moments later she was talking rapid-fire French with someone.

With my demon friend using my body to search the internet and my travelling companion having an in-depth phone conversation in another language, there wasn't much for me to do in the mean-time. Especially since I was currently in ghost-mode, meaning I was insubstantial, invisible to everyone but my two friends, and unable to stray too far from Eva and my body.

It was Sunday evening and the past three days had been kind of busy, but not in a bad way.

We spent Friday exploring ancient Akrotiri, yesterday we took a bus to Kamari to visit ruins of ancient Thera. And today we took a bus back to Fira to visit the prehistoric museum, then we did a bit more shopping before another bus ride brought us back to modern Akrotiri. We had dinner nearby, then returned to our hotel room.

Since there wasn't anything else for me to do while the others were busy, I started testing my limits to try and figure out what sort of rules I had to deal with as a spirit. First thing I tested was how far I could get from Eva and my body, but that wasn't much of a challenge within the confines of our hotel suite. It was big, but it wasn't that big.

I also confirmed that I could get my arms and legs through doors and walls, just like back at Marianne's place in London. But I couldn't get my whole body through things, I seemed to be trapped in the hotel room.

Marianne was still on the phone, but I picked up enough to realize she was probably talking with her mom. I decided to give her a little more privacy, not that I could understand what she was saying anyways. It was also an excuse to test if I could walk through something solid while still being in view of Eva and my body.

I moved to the glass door that led out to the balcony, then held my breath and stepped through it. It wasn't actually that big a test since I saw Eva do it the other day, but I wasn't sure if we had the same rules or not.

It actually worked, but it felt incredibly strange. Not painful, but the sensation of cold glass passing through my body was uncomfortable.

Once I was out on the balcony I found I was still trapped by the line of sight thing. It was like there were invisible walls blocking me in, so I couldn't move past where the glass door was. If I'd been a solid person I'd have been able to walk back and forth along the whole length of the balcony, but as a ghost I was trapped in the two-metre section with a clear line of sight to where Eva was sitting.

Eventually I realized Marianne was off the phone, so I braced myself then went back through the glass and into the room again. Then I moved over to the desk and looked over Eva's shoulder. She was still searching the web, she had a half dozen tabs open.

It was hard to believe she'd come straight out of the bronze age, like she seemed fairly comfortable surfing the net. That led me to wonder how much she'd actually been doing it.

"Hey Eva?" I asked her. "You said you learned how to surf the web by taking over my body while I was asleep. Do you do that a lot?"

She blushed slightly, "Not every night, and I don't do it just to search the internetwork. I'm only active every two or three nights? I've been working on my magic, searching for my family, and feeding to rebuild my strength."

I wasn't sure what to think about that, but after a few seconds I shrugged "Ok Eva. I guess it doesn't really matter, if I'm asleep it's not like I'm using it."

My demon friend was still focused on the tablet, but she smiled "Thank you Lexi."

Marianne was watching as me and Eva talked, but after a few quiet moments she asked "Lexi would you come sit with me for a bit?"

"Sure," I replied as I moved to the bed.

She was sitting on the edge of the bed, and I sort of jumped on and ended up crosslegged beside her. That actually felt weird too, like normally when you sat on a bed you felt it give under your weight. You felt the blankets or sheets pull tighter, there might even be some adjustments in your muscles as you adapted to the way the mattress moved beneath you.

Doing that as a ghost, the bed didn't move at all. It wasn't like hitting something solid though, there was still some give, but it was more like the give was in me. Like my behind sank through the sheets and blankets slightly before things stabilized and I stopped sinking.

Once I was seated, Marianne turned to face me. We were right next to each other, only a dozen centimetres separated us.

"What did you want?" I asked. "I know you can't hear me but I assume you can figure out what I'm asking."

She leaned closer and she seemed to be really focusing or concentrating as she asked, "Please say that again?"

"Why?" I frowned. "You can't hear me like this, can you? You've been complaining for the last few days about not being able to hear Eva when she talks to me."

Marianne frowned as well, then closed her eyes and asked "Once more please."

I had no idea what she was doing but I responded, "Well that rules out lip-reading. Can you really hear me? It'd be cool if you could. Like both me and Eva?"

She kept her eyes closed and she still looked like she was concentrating. After another second or two she replied, "I was never any good at lip-reading. I've spent most of my life deliberately tuning out spirits because they bothered me when I was young. Now I'm doing the opposite, trying to tune in to you."

"That's really cool," I smiled "So can you actually hear this?"

Marianne nodded, "I can, while I'm concentrating. I'm sure it'll take practice before I can do it easily, but it's a start."

We were both distracted by Eva as she let out a long sigh. I couldn't tell if it was relief or disappointment though.

"What's up Eva?" I asked as I got up off the bed. I moved to stand next to her and had a look at the tablet in front of her, then added "Why are you looking at a history of Aegean volcanism?"

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She blushed and closed the tab, "I got distracted. I think this is the next place I'd like us to go?"

It was another web page, for an island called Milos. I asked, "Why there?"

"It's a hunch," Eva replied. "Nothing more. I haven't been able to sense her, but looking at maps and trying to guess where she might have gone, Milos feels like one possibility. Crete is the other. Milos is smaller so it'll be easier to search. If nothing comes up there, then we'll go to Crete."

I turned to look at the gorgeous brunette, "Is that ok with you Marianne?"

She nodded, "Yes of course. As long as you two don't mind letting me explore ruins and museums?"

"Of course not," Eva smiled. "So Milos is our next step, I'll leave it up to the expert as to how we get there."

Our expert already had that figured out. Marianne replied, "There are regular ferries that connect several of these islands. We can get a bus to the port at Athinios, that's in the caldera just south of Fira. And from there, we can take a ferry to Milos."

"In fact," she added after a moment, "I'm pretty sure when we're done on Milos we can get a ferry from there directly to Crete."

I pouted as I sat on the bed again, "More travelling though. Busses and ferry boats."

"We took the bus to Fira this morning," Marianne pointed out, "And we were on our feet all day long at the museum, then we took the bus back here again this afternoon. Just like yesterday when we went to Kamari and spent hours exploring the ruins. How are those trips ok, but going from here to Milos is a problem?"

"Because those weren't travelling," I stated in a matter-of-fact tone. "We didn't have to pack and unpack. We didn't have to worry about where we were staying. The last three days we've been staying here, so they were day trips, we were touring and exploring. But we always had somewhere to come back to."

Eva gave me a sympathetic look and suggested, "I think Lexi might be one of those people who needs to have roots? She's not cut out for the nomadic lifestyle."

"Ah," Marianne nodded in understanding. "Bleu is like that. Perhaps a little worse? They always want to sleep in their own bed at night, they like to be at home. When they come back to London after the summer in Lyon, it takes them a week to get comfortable again. I think mentally they need that time to recalibrate, from 'home' in Lyon to 'home' in London."

I shrugged, "I'm probably not that bad? But I guess I do like to know there's always a place for me. Like a bed, a roof, somewhere I can be safe and relaxed. I don't mind if that's a hotel room, but when we're travelling then there's no bed, no roof, no room. Until we get to the next stop."

"What about home in Canada?" Marianne asked. "I know it's a long way from here, but don't you have that waiting for you?"

I sighed and shook my head, "Not anymore. I lived with my dad, and his son died two weeks ago."

My stomach felt a bit heavy and my voice got quieter as I added, "Dad would definitely know by now that I died. Maybe there's already been a funeral? And even if I did go back there and somehow convinced him who I am, I doubt he'd want anything to do with me. He freaked out when I told him I was trans. He said he'd never call me Lexi, he said I'd never be anything other than his son."

"I'm sorry," Marianne tried to pull me into a hug, but her arm passed through my ghostly body.

That made both of us grimace, and I shrugged "It's ok. It's just, I'm homeless. All my worldly possessions are in that backpack I've been carrying around. If not for Eva using magic to get me new ID I'd be nobody. I'm not a citizen of anywhere, I don't come from anywhere. I have no family, no home, no roots."

We were all quiet for a few moments, until Eva spoke up.

"I'm sorry Lexi. Once we've found my family we can take you back to Canada if you like? Or we can go wherever you want, and I will help you set down some roots. We'll find a place you like and you will have a home. I promise."

"Thank you Eva," I gave her a weak smile. Then I shrugged "Anyways sorry for bringing the mood down. I know when we're travelling that we'll have a hotel room at the destination, but I still stress about it, and the whole packing and unpacking thing gets to me as well, even though I don't have that much to pack. Or maybe because I don't have that much to pack? I don't know. But as long as you two don't mind me complaining about it now and then, I'll keep travelling. We'll keep searching, and we'll find your family Eva."

My demon friend shook her head, "It's fine Lexi. And thank you. I think I'm done here for now, why don't you and I trade places again. Then you can collect that hug Marianne tried to deliver earlier."

That got a little blush out of both Marianne and me. The process of swapping with Eva still left me dizzy for a few moments, though it felt like I was getting used to it. I wasn't disoriented or anything like that, there was only a second or so of dizziness when I snapped back into the body.

I got up from the desk where she'd been sitting then returned to the bed where I'd been a moment ago, and sat down again beside Marianne. Eva was standing next to the desk, but she moved out through the glass door to stand on the balcony.

As she stared out over the caldera I couldn't help wondering if she was giving me and Marianne some privacy, or if she was dealing with some emotions considering this first stop on our search had come up empty. Or perhaps it was both.

"You look sad again," Marianne whispered as her arm wrapped around my shoulders. She pulled me closer against her and asked, "Are you going to be ok Lexi?"

I leaned into the hug, and returned it with my arm around her waist.

"I'm ok," I replied quietly. "A little worried about Eva, and I guess I'm feeling a little emotional myself too at the moment."

She gave me a sad look, followed by a kiss. Then she asked, "You seemed sad when you spoke of your father earlier. I know you weren't on the best of terms with him, but now I wonder if you miss him?"

I sighed, "It's complicated. I'm not sure if I miss him, I'm not sure if I want to see him or talk to him. He said some pretty hurtful things to me last month, then he shipped me off out of the country. But he's still my dad, and I guess it just sort of hit me now? He'd have been told some time in the last two weeks that his son died. I know I'm alive, but as far as he knows I died horribly under a subway train, alone in a foreign country. And I feel bad for him, having to face that on his own? But I can't contact him, I can't tell him what really happened. He'd never believe it, and if he did he wouldn't want me back anyways."

There wasn't anything she could do or say about that problem, so instead she just continued to hold me as we sat quietly together on the bed.