Chapter 59: CH 59

Yue Wuhuan felt like he’d thrown away his helmet and coat of mail. He was utterly defeated. He hung his head, cutting a very sorry figure, not daring to face those clear eyes. 

Ever since Song Qingshi took him in and doted on him, in certain respects, his reputation had been ruined.

When he first began leaving the Valley, before he made a name for himself as a lunatic, his dissolute reputation was too well-known. Everyone regarded him as a joke. They would ask him what tricks the Medicine King Xianzun enjoyed in bed and what kind of positions he used to satisfy the eccentric ancestor. Even the courageous ones thought that the Medicine King Xianzun had easily been turned around by bedroom matters. They wanted to try sending beautiful slaves to the Medicine King’s Valley to exchange for pills… After he had gone completely crazy, after he revealed his fangs, everyone grew to fear him. These rumors gradually died down. At the very least, no one dared to say these things in his presence.

Every time he thought of how this clean person, so far away from the affairs of the world, was dragged into the filth and stained by his association…

Yue Wuhuan felt extremely unwell… 

He also thought of just going to hell with it all, indulging the love in his heart and just confirming all of these rumors. He was an expert at all methods of seduction. He knew how to give someone bliss between the sheets. If he wanted his Master to taste the flavor of desire, to be unable to do without his body, this was but a simple matter.

But, he couldn’t…

These methods would make him unable to distinguish the difference between the present and the past. It will ultimately, stain his affection with a nauseating hue.

After experiencing those incidents, in his heart, he was extremely opposed to submitting to another’s control. He felt that catering to someone to make them happy was the greatest humiliation in the world. Therefore, he couldn’t submit to another’s control and would never allow for the one he liked to submit to another’s control. Making the person he liked to bear this humiliation? How was this any different from requiting kindness with enmity?

He absolutely could not…

There was no way he could accept such despicableness. He wished he could kill the ‘him’ in his dreams that he couldn’t control. Every time he released his desires, his mind would go blank. It was like he could see, before his very eyes, the satiated appearance of those beasts, the youths who suffered as they catered to them, himself who had lost all sense of shame. And then, he would wake up amidst bursts of nausea.

He never dared to have anything to do with sexual intimacies anymore. He feared the desires of the body…

Was there such a useless lover in this world? 

Moreover, his Master cultivated the Way of the Heartless…

The more Yue Wuhuan thought, the more he despaired.

Last night, his feelings had leaked through the sound of his flute and it aroused the Master’s thoughts. He had already obtained the sweetest of kisses. He could no longer continue to indulge himself. He was unworthy of such pure feelings. He would only push the other into the abyss of pain.

“Wuhuan?” Song Qingshi saw he wasn’t responding and asked again, “What are your thoughts on this?” 

I love you. Please don’t love me…

Yue Wuhuan made up his mind. Slowly, he raised his head and smiled. He lifted up the long hair that fell beside his ears. A seductive hue blossomed in his beautiful phoenix eyes. Afterwards, he stretched out his fingers and teasingly slid them against Song Qingshi’s face. With the most casual attitude, he spoke the most shameless words, “My thoughts? My body belongs to Master. I will do whatever you want me to do…”

Song Qingshi’s entire body went completely rigid.

Yue Wuhuan saw him stretch taut. His index finger lightly traced his lips, catching a feel of his breath. He took it back and ran it between his lips. His smile turned sweeter, “Could it be that Master is bothered about what happened last night? Master is so cute. Isn’t it only normal to behave erratically when you’re under the influence?” 

That part of his memory after he’d ingested alcohol was a little confused and bits of it were lost.

Song Qingshi still remembered, more or less, that he had been the one to initiate matters. He tried hard to recall, “I forced a kiss on you and then…”

Suddenly, a moist and sweet kiss once again fell on his lips.

Song Qingshi looked incredulously at Yue Wuhuan. His words were interrupted and his mind went blank. 

“Was it a strong kiss like this?” Yue Wuhuan left his lips with a smile. He licked the corner of his lips and said ambiguously, “If Master likes it then you can taste this every day. This isn’t a big deal. Wuhuan likes this kind of game. You can even have more, if you like.”

Song Qingshi wasn’t good with words, in the first place. Now, faced with the current situation, he was rendered completely speechless.

He stood up in a panic. His mouth kept going open and shut. He wanted to explain, and in the end, he was only able to come out with a few syllables, “I, I don’t, it’s not…”

Yue Wuhuan immediately regained his ascetic appearance and said indifferently, “It seems that I have misunderstood.”

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Yue Wuhuan looked at him quietly, and asked in return, “Master, what are your thoughts on the matter?” 

Song Qingshi understood. He lowered his head. “I won’t drink in the future, and I won’t do such confused things to you again.”

Yue Wuhuan asked again, “Master, what do you think of Wuhuan as?”

Song Qingshi whispered, “A disciple, a friend…”

Yue Wuhuan knew that he had succeeded. He altered this budding feeling and re-sealed it underground where it will never see the light of day. 

He apologized softly, “I’m sorry, I was the one who was presumptuous.”

Song Qingshi shook his head. “It’s okay, you can be presumptuous.”

Yue Wuhuan was stunned.

Song Qingshi smiled and said, “In my heart, you can be presumptuous, you can do whatever you want.” 

“Don’t casually make such a promise,” Yue Wuhuan was a little flustered from being seen. He avoided that gaze that peeked into his heart. “I am not what you imagine me to be.”

Song Qingshi asked, “What is the real you like?”

Yue Wuhuan closed his mouth.

Chaos, madness, evil, paranoia, filth… 

Unscrupulous, dreadful and greedy; wanting to monopolize feelings he could not obtain…

More and more things were appearing in Yue Wuhuan’s head and they were becoming more and more chaotic. His thinking was starting to go more and more out of control, becoming stranger and stranger.

He got up in a panic and while he still retained a bit of rationality, made an excuse and fled in confusion.

Song Qingshi sat alone in the room. After a long time, he said softly, “I like you no matter what you’re like.” 

…

Having gone through all these awful messes, neither of them were in any mood to go sight-seeing.

As for the Gu poison in Yue Wuhuan’s body, it was better to go back to Medicine King’s Valley and carefully take care of it there. And so, Yue Wuhuan was forced to lie in bed and rest. He ate the love-filled noodles that Song Qingshi made, and watched as Song Qingshi busied about. He packed their luggage, purchased medicinal ingredients, and then booked a magical ship from the Magical Beast Sect, ready to return to Medicine King’s Valley.

The taste of the noodles his Master made seemed to be quite stable. They tasted exactly the same every time… 

Yue Wuhuan drank the noodle soup and looked at the ledger. He felt that the price of Aconitum could still be reduced by 20%.

Song Qingshi was very pleased with himself and it was writ all across his face. It was as though he were saying that he was very good at taking care of others and was very capable of managing the matters of life. He wasn’t some waste who was helpless without his omnipotent secretary.

Yue Wuhuan immediately swallowed his words back and smiled. “Master has done a very good job.”

Song Qingshi showed him his spoils of war. “I also bought small gifts for everyone.” 

The merchants in Nanhai City were very good at making a sale. After realizing that he was a cultivator, they told him that when traveling, he needed to bring gifts back to his sect.  Enjoying things by oneself is not as good as enjoying them together with everyone.

Song Qingshi thought it made sense…

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Even before, he very seldom went out and he also had no disciples then. In order to get his protection, the villages near the Medicine King’s Valley had voluntarily sought refuge and became medicine villages. They were also the ones who selected and sent the valley servants. The stewards were also ones they elected themselves. In any case, no one dared to provoke the Medicine King Xianzun and they did whatever he had them do. He paid the servants a salary and rewarded them with pills. He managed to raise several foundation-building cultivators this way. It was considered a fortunate opportunity.

Song Qingshi had felt pretty good. The Medicine King’s Valley was cleaned spotless. Although the valley servants were afraid of him, they were well-behaved and obedient. 

When Yue Wuhuan took over matters, it was only then that he realized that the management of the valley servants was very chaotic. The stewards secretly embezzled the servants’ wages. Fights broke out. They abused their authority and indiscriminately meted out punishments. They even secretly sold the medicinal herbs… Moreover, Yue Wuhuan had used the account books and reasoned things out to Song Qingshi, to tactfully let him realize the poverty of the Medicine King’s Valley.  He finally knew that there were no Nascent Soul cultivators like him, who had lived for so long and accumulated so little wealth.

Song Qingshi suffered a critical blow…

After he had woken up, Yue Wuhuan provided him with everything he needed and wanted. He didn’t have to worry about anything.

He secretly did some self-reflection and decided he was going to reform and start afresh… 

Yue Wuhuan has trained many little apprentices for the Medicine King’s Valley. As the master of the valley, he should at least bring everyone some gifts from his travels, right?

Song Qingshi was afraid there was something wrong with his thinking, so he covertly asked Yue Wuhuan. After getting an affirmative answer, he felt reassured in accepting their sales promotions and happily bought a lot of pastries made from flowers, porcelain dolls and puppets. He even called the merchants to the inn and let Yue Wuhuan choose some beautiful fabrics and common gems, some of which he kept for himself, and some which would be distributed to everyone.

Song Qingshi also went to the back kitchen of pastry shops and pestered them into teaching him. He studied several ways of making dim sum. He planned on making them for Yue Wuhuan once they got back.

Yue Wuhuan saw he was busy bustling about, not thinking about those vexing matters. He felt somewhat relieved. 

Song Qingshi excitedly rushed over, holding a beautiful multi-colored kite and handing it to him. “Isn’t this beautiful? You should pack it up.”

Yue Wuhuan now understood his way of thinking. “The Luoying flower on top of Xinyi Mountain is about to bloom. Won’t Master go with me to fly kites?”

Song Qingshi was delighted. “Wuhuan also likes to fly kites?” He had seen people flying kites before. It seemed very interesting.

“I like it,” Yue Wuhuan took the kite with a smile. He took a look at the crude pattern on it. “This isn’t refined enough. Give it to Qing Luan and the others ba. I’ll make you a better one, one with a whistle. When it flies in the sky, it will make bird calls. It’s been a long time since I’ve made these little things though so I might not be very skilled…” 

Song Qingshi nodded earnestly. “Don’t worry, if it fails, I’ll control the winds and carry it up! I’ll take it up to the heavens.”

Yue Wuhuan imagined the kite flying up in the sky together with his Master, and laughed hard.

Song Qingshi didn’t quite understand what he was laughing about, but being happy was always a good thing and so he laughed as well.

The two bustled about for most of the day, and finally finished dealing with all the various matters. With a heap of luggage, they boarded the magical ship and flew home. 

…

In the Medicine King’s Valley, Qing Luan received the message that they were coming back. She swept and cleaned, making all the preparations to welcome them home.

Song Qingshi didn’t like to pay attention to these kind of gifts. He first dragged Yue Wuhuan to his research room and re-treated his injuries. Only when he had confirmed that the poisons have weakened and were being suppressed, with most of the pain already gone, did he feel relieved. Afterwards, he went to his medicine collection to find pills to stabilize his Nascent Soul. He then ate them all.

His Nascent Soul was full of cracks. He used the Cold Jade Technique to forcibly lock it and slow the rate of collapse. 

After confirming that he had overstepped his bounds as a doctor, he could finally face the Heart of his Dao.

Sure enough, there was no shortcuts in the road of life. Compared to other Ways, it was easier to devote oneself to cultivation using the Way of the Heartless, but it also came with greater risks. He didn’t want to consider how other cultivators who followed the Way of the Heartless dealt with this kind of situation, but for him, this was just a problem question done wrong.

His feelings were once a barren blank space, and it was that gorgeous bird who painted colors within it.

The collapse of Dao Heart represented the stirring of his emotions. 

He now understood what it felt like to like someone and this feeling wasn’t wrong.

Song Qingshi touched his lips lightly, feeling very happy. Ever since he had left the mountains and embarked on the road of cultivation, he has actually had no goals. Cultivation seemed like a simple matter to him, and he had hardly encountered any bottlenecks. And so, he didn’t not understand the mental state of ordinary cultivators who fought for their lives against the Heavens, struggling each step of the way.

He spent most of his time reading and researching, spending year after year, day after day muddle-headed and ignorant. Occasionally, he would encounter some passing traveler, but they were unable to leave any vestige in his heart…

Whenever he came to, there was nothing beside him except the white clouds in the sky. 

Such a life has no meaning.

He seriously pondered the reasons and confirmed that it was his own problem. His heart was not the same as that of others. It was like made of stone. It was difficult for him to feel joys and sorrows. He envied the love of others, but he couldn’t get his heart to move. Whether they were a man or a woman, whether they were a beauty or an ugly person, no matter whether they were tall or short, fat or thin, no matter how good or bad their character was… he didn’t feel anything at all.

Yue Wuhuan was like the most dazzling color. He directly tore open his heart and moved in, letting him discover that he could have feelings…

And he was willing to do everything for these feelings. 

He didn’t quite understand what Yue Wuhuan thought of him, but he didn’t care about these. Being able to like someone was the greatest happiness in itself. It was a gift bestowed upon him. Even if he gave everything, and it bore no fruit, life was no longer dull and without color.

Song Qingshi happily poked his Nascent Soul. “Don’t worry, we’ll meet again.”

The pain of his Dao Heart was the feeling of happiness, a new beginning.

He would correct his mistakes and move on to the right Path. 

Medical students were all stout-hearted and wouldn’t panic.

Having his Dao destroyed and having to rebuild it wasn’t as frightening as having all his little white mice wiped out. After all, when the mice were destroyed, he couldn’t find where the problem was.

Now, he just needed to retake a familiar course and undergo the exam once again.

Song Qingshi took out pen and paper and listed out what he knew… 

Foundation Building was to expand the Dantian, lay out the foundation. After that was condensing the Golden Core. The Golden Core will then be transformed into the Nascent Soul.

The destruction of his Dao meant the complete fragmentation of his Nascent Soul, the melting of his Golden Core. His cultivation base would fall back to Foundation Building.

This exam was not difficult at all. The cultivation resources he had in his hands were a hundred times greater than what he originally had. He was also the number one medical master in the immortal realm. He could refine some pills to assist him in raising his level.  He could create talismans, put together defensive poison formations. All these were things familiar to him. He wouldn’t have to go around in circles, and this would save him a lot of time. After his Dao is destroyed, they will block off all information. He will stay in closed door cultivation for a period of time. He will control the fires in his body, put aside his research and concentrate on cultivation. He’ll spend 20 to 30 years returning to Core Formation, after which protecting himself would basically no longer be a problem. In another two to three hundred years, he’ll reach Nascent Soul, changing to a more suitable Dao Heart and slowly returning to Great Perfection.

There was no hurry…… 

He had some things he needed to take care of first.

Therefore, he would first use the Cold Jade Technique to suppress the rate of his Nascent Soul’s collapse. He will supplement it with pills and treatment to delay the destruction of his Dao. He should quickly refine the Jade Water Powder and add a medicated bath and acupuncture treatment…If he’s lucky, he should be able to drag it out for two to three more years.

Yue Wuhuan has already taken over all the external affairs of the Medicine King’s Valley. Alchemy and medicine did not require much spiritual power, and the Red Lotus Fire and the Underworld Ghost Fire would still be there. He often stayed cooped up within his home for decades at a time. No one would notice anything out of the ordinary. He would see if he could find some Immortal methods like the “Swallowing Sea Technique” or the “Spirit Absorbing Magic Skill”, and pass this spiritual power which would otherwise simply disappear to Yue Wuhuan. He mustn’t waste it. Best to pass it on so he could directly rise to Core Formation and make the Medicine King’s Valley safer.

After Song Qingshi confirmed there were no mistakes, he poked his Nascent Soul again, and urged, “You should make a good showing and hold on for a good while.” 

What worried him most was that he didn’t know how to tell Yue Wuhuan…

The Heart of his Way of the Heatless was being destroyed. It was embarrassing no matter how he said it. If he were to look into how his Dao Heart was destroyed, it would be even more embarrassing. He could easily be misunderstood as wanting to pass on the responsibility to the other party. Because of this, Yue Wuhuan would be forced to accept these feelings that he didn’t want. This was something Song Qingshi didn’t want to see happen. What would be the difference between him and those garbage scumbags who went to girls with a knife to their neck, saying that ‘if you don’t love me then I’ll kill myself for you to see’?

Yue Wuhuan has a serious shadow in his heart. It was difficult for him to accept feelings. If this off-limits area was touched, there would be a stress response.

He fully understood the other’s refusal, and understood the reasons for that refusal. He shouldn’t continue to harass him, right? If Yue Wuhuan knew about this, and felt guilty and uneasy, creating a more serious the psychological problem, what could he do? It was best to find a different excuse, like having it damaged in a fight, meeting an accident while practicing, and getting his Dao Heart destroyed… 

Only that he wasn’t very good at lying, and he’s easily seen through. Yue Wuhuan was very smart and he was afraid he wouldn’t be able to pull one over him.

There was no way to hide this…

Song Qingshi sat on the floor of the treasure house and thought for a long, long time, feeling distressed.

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