Chapter 466: Identity

After some time, light returned. His vision was blurry. He was cold.

For some reason everything felt off. A sense of wrongness. Yet, he couldn’t tell just how or why he felt that way. He found himself looking up into a woman’s eyes and her soothing voice calmed his unease. He could barely move, and everything was just so weak. Am I an infant?

He soon found his only means of communication was to wail and cry out. An instinctive response that seemed to work quite well. His situation was disconcerting. Was he only an infant? Did infants have such complicated thoughts? Everything seemed to be bogged down in fog, like he was in a dream. How did he know what a dream was?

Just as before, any time he began to wonder about his situation his mind grew cloudy and the thoughts faded away. Each time he lost more clarity. In the interest of maintaining what was left, he kept his thoughts to his new life and avoided the lines of reasoning that led to a foggy spell.

A group of women were preparing vegetables together. Gathered around a table, peeling and chopping they used the opportunity to talk and gossip.

“My little Fu is so sweet. He’s always offering to help out and is always coming up with the most delightful compliments. I just don’t know where he’s learning so many words from.”

“Haha, boys will be boys. Those kids always sneak out and cause trouble, who knows what they’re up to!”

A group of children ran into the room. Pushing and shoving they knocked over a bowl of cabbage and the women started hurling loud admonishments in their direction. One of the boy’s got his ear twisted while another stepped forward and bowed at them, “I am sorry, Aunties. Bo’er is just so excited to eat the delicious meal you are preparing he couldn’t stay away. He just has too much energy. Even after telling us how amazing the food his mother makes for an hour, he still couldn’t hold it in!”

The ladies were flabbergasted by the boy's words, but the other boys looked annoyed by what the boy said.

Years later, the same boy was leaving his home, packing his bags and hugging his family, “This is my chance to provide for you! The Young Master is very happy to have me around. If I serve him well then he has promised to pay me handsomely!”

His parents were sad to see him go, but they couldn’t let their child stay under their wing forever and this was his chance to grow. He was going along with the Young Master after all, so how could anything go wrong? Such a great person would be the best boss.

A pair of middle-aged men sat in a teahouse. Their attention was caught by a commotion across the street.

“Get off of me, you filthy beggar!”

A man on a horse wearing expensive clothing kicked away a run down figure that had been reaching up towards his trouser leg. The horse neighed like it agreed with its rider’s disdain. The man spit down at the beggar and trotted away on his horse, completely ignoring the man who he had kicked into a ditch.

One of the men in the teahouse sighed, “That Yang Fu is so pitiable.”

“You know that beggar?”

“That fellow used to be the right hand man of Governor Chen.”

“Governor Chen! Wait, do you mean he’s -that- Yang Fu? The greedy goat?”

The other man nodded and took another sip of his tea, then he looked around to make sure there wasn’t anyone in earshot, “I didn’t tell you this, but the true story is not the same as the rumors. That fellow was Governor Chen’s most loyal toady for many years, but when there was a mixup with an expensive gift, he was sacrificed. Governor Chen didn’t hesitate to pin the blame on that poor fellow to save his own reputation. The only reason he’s still alive is offended party likes to make people suffer.”

The man who was listening had a sour look on his face. He was about to comment when the other man shook his head, “Best not to think about it or even mention it to anyone else. If you tell anyone what I said, I might just be down there in that ditch with Yang Fu.”

As if startled by their topic of chat, the two men left the teahouse a few minutes later. It’s too bad they had left, or they might have seen the burning gaze of the man who climbed up out of the ditch.

Thunk!

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A huge blade thudded against a wooden block, the neck it passed through on the way being no impedance to it at all. The violent red mess left in its wake was a spectacle for the crowd who watched the public execution with rapt attention.

A rough looking man wearing a dignified robe walked onto the stage. He didn’t seem used to the garb, but he didn’t seem uncomfortable in front of the crowd. It was less like he was familiar with a public position, but more like he held disdain for them all.

“The former Governor Chen was a tyrant that foisted his mistakes onto others. If a person does not reflect upon their mistakes, how can they improve? A leader that blames their subordinates for their decisions is nothing but a tyrant.”

“Governor Yang is righteous! With such an upright man in charge, our state is bound to prosper!”

A red veil was placed over the face of a beautiful girl. The woman across from her that was placing the veil had the bearing of a maid, “Don’t worry my lady. You’ve chosen well. That Governor will secure your family’s status in the city. Nobody will dare to pursue the matter with your brother any longer.”

The girl was extremely beautiful, yet she still had an uneasy look on her face, “Are you sure? Yang just praises me all day long, he’s so boring.”

“Not everyone marries for love. Your family needs you, Miss. Remember what those fellows were going to do to your brother?”

Nodding her head the girl stood up, her red wedding dress exquisitely embroidered and perfectly highlighting her shapely body.

A pair of finely dressed teenagers rushed towards a similarly dressed middle-aged man. A flurry of blows were exchanged. Fists flew back and forth before the two boys finally used their teamwork to push the man to the ground and kick dirt onto his bruised body.

“You’re a joke, Old Man! You aren’t worthy of our Mother, and you never were! You’re nothing more than a scheming bootlicker. You’re only Governor because you became a dog for a stronger master. From now on, you have to leave Mother alone! She never loved you and never will. Just stay out of our way or we’ll find a way to make you disappear!”

The middle-aged man stayed where he was on the ground for a long time after the pair of teenagers left. A trickle of moisture stained his cheeks.

An old man kneeled in front of a gravestone. He lowered his protesting frame down to the ground and kowtowed to the name carved on the stone.

“Even though I knew the boys weren’t mine, I always tried to treat them like they were. When the three of you left me to live in a ‘summer estate’, I never fought it or tried to stop you. I did my best to give you your freedom, but I failed in my duty to protect you. I will spend the rest of my life protecting the rest of your family. Forgive me, Jing’er.”

Then he turned his head and looked over at the neighboring pair of gravestones and lowered his head, “They took you both far too soon. I hope the three of you can be reunited in the afterlife.”

A musty air filled the room, the sort of atmosphere that no amount of fresh air and light could dispel. A withered form was confined to a bed and the light of life was constantly slipping from the man’s eyes. Not a single family member, or friend was present in the room. Only servants and attendants doing their duty, caring for the old Governor as he left from this world without a single close acquaintance.

The old man stared up at the ceiling, contemplating the ups and downs of his long life. From the brightness of his childhood, the hopeful dreams of his young adulthood, and the despair of betrayal that followed. The satisfaction of redemption and the glory of achievement. The bittersweet path of his romantic life and a loveless marriage that had led to raising children that weren’t his own. The tragic death of the family that despised him and the great loss he felt. Not only for them, but for the relationships that might have been. As long as they were alive there was hope of reconciliation, but with them gone so went his hope. His parents had died young, saving them from experiencing his fall from grace, but also depriving them of seeing his eventual success.

His eyes slowly closed for the final time. I regret it all!

Utter darkness and silence.

A spark of light interrupted the stillness, a flicker of consciousness came to life and spoke to itself: I am alive!

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