Chapter 710: Impress Me

With that new taunt, the man who was flying through the air cursed audibly, “Are you blind or something?”

Sage felt it to be more of a simple insult than full on cursing, but it was a little more incisive in this language and Ruanfu’s eyes narrowed. She didn’t do anything, but it certainly didn’t make the man’s job any easier.

Having made the task more difficult for himself, the man balancing on the end of his spear decided to pull out all the stops. A slip of paper appeared in his hand. It was as narrow as a business card, but about eight inches tall, and covered with very intricate symbols and text. One of the top corners of the paper suddenly ignited and he threw the paper into the air. It flew straight up and then suddenly burst into a giant ball of blue flame. The flame swirled and rotated in the air, spinning like a top, widening in the horizontal while narrowing in the vertical. The sphere flattened into a thick disc and then expanded into a ring.

Then two more of the paper objects appeared in his hands, igniting as he tossed them into the air. They burst into flame even faster than the first one, forming blue rings of fire at a diagonal and vertical angle. The man winked at Ruanfu while holding three of the papers in one hand, he tossed them into the air where they ignited in unison and red flames roared into the sky. The red flames didn’t resolve into the form of a ring, they twisted and morphed, taking a dolphin-like shape instead. Then the man whistled and the red flame dolphin shot through the sky, diving through the three rings of blue flame.

The blue rings dissipated, but the red dolphin continued to swim through the air. He threw up a sphere of alternating yellow and orange and the dolphin flew up to bounce it upon its snout. The giant fiery beach ball looked like it was being tossed around and juggled by the fiery dolphin, until both the ball and dolphin faded away. Without even looking if Ruanfu was impressed, the man already threw up another piece of paper. It burst into flames, but this time no fire came out. Instead a giant sphere of water shot up higher into the air before shattering. A light rain spread over the sky, drizzling upon everyone gathered.

Standing upon the base of the spear, the man lifted one hand up and stared at the sky. He used his thumb to measure something and then threw out another paper. When he did, the wet skies shifted slightly and a rainbow formed in the sky.

The man was looking up at the sky examining his handiwork when he suddenly heard a loud clap. He turned back and saw Ruanfu’s hands slapped together. Then she separated them and clapped again. Suddenly relieved, he forgot where he was standing and fell off the top of the spear haft, landing on the broken up ground with a muffled thump.

Ruanfu clapped for a little while before stopping and addressing Sage, “Next. Entertain me.”

Sage’s discomfort was so great that he couldn’t help but reveal it, his stony face no longer as effective as it was in the past after his fusion with the spider. Ruanfu read him and elaborated, “Your plumage is quite pretty, but you have to be able to do a proper mating ritual. Sing. Dance.”

She pointed at Sage and waved her fingers around back and forth and then indicated a twirl. Then she clapped her hands, “Hurry up, get to it!”

Sage suddenly felt hot around the collar and sweat broke out on his forehead. The extremity of her nervousness suddenly broke through the control he had over his body. Then he suddenly felt a pressure upon his shoulder and turned to see a hand placed there. He looked over and saw the muscular fellow it belonged to.

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“Yuan Hu.”

The man nodded, “Relax, this is my specialty! Just follow my lead.”

In front of them, the other man had leapt down from his spear and plucked it back out of the ground. The weapon disappeared into a storage treasure and he walked back over to join the other three. Sage still seemed concerned, but the other three smiled at him and then turned back to the three women. The thin man and the shorter fellow moved to either side of Yuan Hu, spacing themselves one step back and one to either side. Then Yuan Hu lifted one hand and a three foot long, pear shaped object appeared. Standing to the back, Sage couldn’t see it clearly, but then he heard a sudden loud musical note.

Yuan Hu held the object across his midsection and strummed it with his other hand. The sudden sound made it quite obvious that it was a musical instrument and Sage recognized the sound. A four stringed lute, the pipa. Yuan Hu let the first note hang in the air while the two behind him lowered their heads in unison. Then his fingers took off, dancing across the strings and filling the air with sound. The two behind him threw up their arms and broke into what Sage could only identify as a practiced routine.

Along with playing the Pipa, Yuan Hu was also moving his feet to dance along with the other two. They followed his lead and by acting in unison they made Yuan Hu look like the star, especially when they opened their mouths. Sage realized he was also supposed to be joining in, so he stood behind Yuan Hu and followed his steps. With his abilities, it was quite simple to follow along with the steps. A battle between cultivators moved at very high speed, so following along movements at the same tempo as music was actually extremely simple. It was even easier for Sage, the Soul Clone could even practice every move dozens of times while it was still in progress.

Who knew I would one day become part of a spontaneous song and dance scene.

The ballad that Yuan Hu started to sing was something Sage would not consider to be ‘refined’. It was a catchy tune with a quartet of dancing men, but the lyrics themselves were pretty ridiculous. It was a song written to serenade a beautiful woman, and declared her beauty could alter the world. A glance from her would make water fall upwards, and snow feel warm. It only got more and more ridiculous, claiming water wouldn’t be wet and rocks would become soft like tofu. It was patently absurd and an extreme progression of the practice of making fanciful claims of a woman’s beauty, like making fish forget how to swim or birds forget how to fly. In this song, she made the natural world forget itself.

Then, Yuan Hu stepped back and the other two men followed along, pushing Sage into the front and putting him into the lead position. At this moment, Sage was forced to pick up the chorus that Yuan Hu had been repeating while also performing the dance moves that the other three were to mimic. The Soul Clone was flustered for quite a while, trying to think up moves to use before going to a classic. He went with one of the few dances he could remember, taking four steps back and then four steps forward. He stepped to the side and spun, then spun back the other way.

They have no idea these moves are stolen, but at least I get to introduce them to a classic.

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