Chapter 15: Ch. 14 – I’m Not Paid Enough to Deal With This

“There is no way I am joining a Necromancer cult.”

“It’s a necromage cult, and - well, it’s not a cult,” Momo crossed her arms defiantly, “it’s a place for like-minded individuals to hang out and hone their craft.”

Momo was deeply aware that it sounded like she was campaigning for Scientology.

“Exactly!” he emphasized, “their necromancer craft!”

Momo huffed, “among other things!”

This was not going as planned. Not even her new charisma points could help her - this boy was a very tough sell. And she was not a salesman, despite what Valerica thought. She was a glorified delivery girl at best.

“I’m already on the Earl’s watchlist. I’m not about to risk my hide for a bunch of necros.”

Momo supposed that was rational. She wasn’t exactly sure why she was risking her hide for a bunch of necros either. They weren’t exactly doing much for her - a rancid stablehouse to sleep in, a few pieces of jewelry. A job, hypothetically. She’d decide the legitimacy of that when payday came.

If she dug deep down, there was only one real reason that Momo stayed faithful.

The way they - okay, Valerica - made her feel. Like she was capable of more. Believed in. Momo had spent long enough living without the feeling to know it was worth sticking around for.

Momo slumped onto the couch and perched her feet on the coffee table. Ugh. She’d have to do this the sentimental way.

“What are your goals, Trent?”

He ignored her, “you’re making yourself a bit too comfortable. I didn’t exactly invite you in for tea–”

Still, she insisted, “do you plan on staying in this house forever? What do you want from life?”

Trent went quiet, reflective. Yes! Momo’s new intellect had come in handy again - she was reciting the spiel her high school guidance counselor gave her purely from memory.

Of course, that conversation had ended with Momo spending 80,000 dollars on an art degree that she never completed. Not that it was her fault - she literally died.

He lowered himself into the seat slowly, heaving out a sigh.

“I don’t know.”

Momo frowned - she’d heard that one before. Out of her own mouth. He apparently had also gotten a word-for-word script of the conversation she had with her guidance counselor.

“So what? You want to live here forever, doing nothing but feeding your dog cow bones?”

He hugged his knees to his chest, “No, obviously not. I want to be a [Dark Thief], just like my mother. I’m good enough with her daggers, but I’m lousy at spellcasting. I want to learn from the most powerful mages in Alois.”

A light shone in his eyes. A speck of true inspiration.

Momo grinned, there we go - hook, line and sinker. She leaned forward, mirroring that same up-to-no-good smile Valerica always gave her.

“You know where there are plenty of powerful mages?”

He glared, “at a mage’s college?”

“No - I mean yes, but no - at Morgana’s Dawn,” she frowned, “it’s home to an excalibur mage. Now how many mage’s colleges have those?”

That piqued his attention properly.

“An excalibur mage? You’re lying. There’s only a few in all of Alois.”

“Yes, and one of them is my boss - Valerica, the [Necromage],” she grinned. She really got a lot of mileage out of the whole ‘I work for Valerica’ thing. It was probably going to blow up in her face one day, but today was not that day, so she’d continue milking it.

“Wow. That is pretty cool.”

“Sure is,” she nodded. Except when it’s terrifying, “and I would… mentor you. Teach you all my extremely cool skills.”

This enthused him less.

“What level are you? Like, 7?”

She sweated. Was seven supposed to be low?

“Um… thirty seven, actually.”

His eyes bulged, “no way. Cast [Summon Hellfire Beast] then.”

Momo laughed nervously, wiping sweat off of her brow. She forgot there were reasons she didn’t lie. She was terrible at it.

“Why would I – why would I summon that in here? It’ll scare cerberus.”

Trent frowned, looking down at the dog. The puppy was sleeping peacefully. One head was snoring, the other drooling, the last grinning, bearing a set of sharp teeth.

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“That’s a good point,” he sighed. He pushed up his glasses again, thinking deeply about the proposal.

After a few long moments, he said, “I’m considering it, but there are a few conditions you must meet.”

Momo groaned. For a boy barely older than an infant, he sure was demanding.

“One, I get to bring cerberus,” he said, ruffling the dog’s belly. Momo internally cheered - he was playing right into her hands, “two, I remain living here, and only come into the Dawn for lessons. I will not be living in a smelly old fort.”

Momo grimaced. He wished that was where recruits lived.

Still, that was a double win for Momo. Valerica might yell at her again if she brought home any more ‘roommates.’

“That’s fine,” Momo nodded along to his ‘demands,’ “but you’re going to have to let us borrow cerberus. For the… um… doggy daycare program.”

“The… what?”

“The undead doggy daycare program,” she repeated, trying to emit confidence, “it’s something I run. It’s a program for undead and demonic animals who need a home. I uh - need a good role model dog, for the other dogs to look up to. Cerberus seems just like that kind of good boy.”

Trent looked at her blankly.

“That sounds ridiculous and fake.”

“It’s both extremely real and not ridiculous,” Momo glared, “you try telling that to the animals I look after. It’s their home away from Hell.”

He shook his head, but ultimately capitulated.

“Will I still get to see him?”

Momo softened, “yeah, of course. You can pick him up at the end of every day.”

He looked over to the giant pile of bones laying on the ground.

“I suppose it’d be nice if I didn’t have to deal with feeding him,” he sighed, “I wouldn’t mind making that your problem.”

Momo grimaced, “how kind.”

“Fine then. I’ll do it,” he threw his hands in the air, “how much will that be?”

Momo quirked her head, “what? What do you mean?”

“How much will it be to study there?” he said, like duh.

Momo’s face went red. She hadn’t even thought about asking him for money. Getting to take the dog off of his hands was victory enough. But she wasn’t exactly the type to pass up a Robinhood moment when she saw it.

She racked her mind. How much to charge him? Considering she had seen hats going for over 500 gold pieces…

“A thousand gold pieces per month for tuition, and three hundred per month paid directly to me, for the doggy daycare.”

“But I didn’t even ask for the doggy daycare --”

“The price is final!” Momo cut him off before he could point out the obvious.

He sighed and shrugged.

“Fine, whatever. That’s less than the cleaning lady charges.”

Momo’s smile fell. Naturally, she had played herself.

“That’s – okay, great, whatever,” Momo said, extending her hand, “it’s a deal?”

He stared at her hand through his glasses, obviously unused to the initiation of human contact. Not that Momo was some expert either, but this is how she saw them make deals in Mad Men.

After a moment, he shook it limply, “Deal.”

“Wonderful,” Momo smiled, “you can pay upfront in cash or credit.”

“Credit?”

“Oh - nevermind.”

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