Chapter 44: Ch. 43 – Mistaken Identity

“Out,” the bartender hissed. “I will not have you discussing that vile reptile in here.”

“Well, that feels a bit…” Momo frowned. How could she classify that insult? Racism? Speciesism? A biased bird with a bad attitude?

She turned to Radu, who she assumed would be offended by the dig at his brethren. Instead of staring down the bartender, he was staring down Momo, giving her his all-too-familiar ‘you are making this harder than it needs to be’ glare.

Momo felt quite proud of herself, to be viewed that way. She had never had enough of the confidence to be a nuisance before.

“Come on, let’s not ruffle any more feathers,” he gritted his teeth. “I’ll never forgive you if you get me banned from the Egg.”

“I don’t know why you’d want to be around a bunch of bigoted birds anyway…” Momo muttered under her breath as Radu dragged her by the sleeve out of the restaurant. She had never been prone to standing up against injustice, but listening to this interspecies bickering felt a lot like settling an argument between her stuffed animals.

Momo had plenty of expertise in that domain. Her childhood plushies endured constant conflict. Leo the Lion always had major beef with Anna the Alpaca, Anna was cheating on Bethany the Bear, Bethany killed Leo’s sister (allegedly). The disputes were long and overwrought—requiring several weeks of mediation until they were all allowed to be on the same side of the bed again.

Momo’s elementary school teachers had referred to her habit of humanizing her stuffies as “a worrying overabundance of empathy for inanimate objects.” Momo thought back fondly to it now. She had simply been preparing for her inevitable future as an arbitrator of halfling squabbles. Or should she say squackles.

She grinned to herself as Radu tore her out of the inn entirely, the pair of them bumbling down the cobblestone streets of the Raven’s District. It was only when the inn was no longer in sight that Radu spoke.

“How do you know about Komodo?” he said quietly, continuing to pull her towards an unknown destination.

“Better question, where are you dragging me?”

Radu rolled his eyes, releasing her hand.

“I’m not going to be late to my meeting on account of you,” he tutted, and kept walking. Momo reluctantly followed, finding it hard to keep the pace. Her body had the remaining stamina of a wet mop. Tank Biscuit was the only thing keeping her upright.

“Valer – err, my mentor…” Momo trailed off.

Referencing Valerica was an unending resource of clout, but she wasn’t sure it was the wisest move to reveal her identity in a city of conniving blackmailers. Momo was the only conniving blackmailer back in Brulane, but here? She was completely out of her depth. “My mentor told me to deliver something to this Komodo.”

Radu stopped in his tracks, eyebrows lifting. “Deliver something? To Komodo?”

It seemed Valerica wasn’t the only one with a reputation that preceded her. Every utterance of this woman’s name was layered with fear and contempt.

Momo could see how they were friends.

“Yes, and I’d like to do it as soon as possible. Do you know where I’d find her?”

"Here, there, everywhere."

"Please provide instructions and not riddles," Momo frowned.

In place of a response, Radu just laughed. He kept walking, and they rounded a corner into a small, unlit alleyway. It was narrow and nearly unwalkable – littered with discarded bird nests and cracked egg shells.

Her Momo Holmes senses tingled, and not in a good way. It was the perfect setting for a crime.

“I feel like I’m walking into my own mugging,” Momo muttered.

“I mean, you’re the one who keeps following the Con Artist around.”

As they neared the end of the corridor, a street lamp materialized, glowing a dim, yellow light. The alleyway was otherwise a dead end, barricaded on all sides by tall apartment buildings.

Radu wound his hand around the streetlamp, swinging around it in a circle. He softly whistled a chime, his breath a white cloud in the brisk air.

The chime echoed down the corridor, bouncing off the walls. Momo’s eyes enlarged as the shadows drawn on the walls of the surrounding buildings began to peel off of them, as if scraped by a razor.

Momo yelped, backpedaling as the shadows formed figures. People-shaped figures. She had the immediate urge to turn into a tree stump, but figured it was futile. There were no trees in the area - she’d inevitably be questioned. Or worse, sat on.

“Took you long enough."

Radu groaned. “Don’t start with me, lest I remind you who freed you in the first place?”

"Certainly not you. You know better than that, Radu, you must always credit a valuable accomplice."

Momo uncovered her eyes at the sound of a familiar voice - Teddy’s. The drunken shapeshifter slash pick up artist. He stood by Radu in front of the street lamp, surrounded by a circle of other silhouettes. Momo recognized some of them from the prison cells: fellow escapees.

“Don’t be so shy, white-hair,” Teddy said, beckoning Momo towards them with a wagging finger.

Momo pointed to herself, confused by the nickname. It was the first time she had been addressed by a physical characteristic that wasn’t her height or frame. She didn’t know how to act.

“Yes, you,” he laughed, hiccupping as he did. He was nursing a flask by his belt. “I’d be remiss to not give a moment to honor our savior, the Little Ripper.”

"Ah, it's actually just Ripper -"

"Can't hear ya, girl," he waved a hand, gesturing towards his ear. "Join us in the circle."

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Momo took apprehensive steps towards the street lamp. Once she was underneath its light, she could see all the illuminated faces beside her. Half-reptiles, half-birds. Even an Eldergoat thief.

She applauded the Con Artists’ Guild’s commitment to diversity. The Third Street Inn could learn a thing or two from them.

“We’re sure this is the one?” one of them whispered, looking down at Momo with disbelieving eyes.

“I can’t imagine her ripping much of anything…”

“She seems a bit light in the frame, small in the brain…”

Momo sighed. Manners seemed to be a universally lacking principle in Nam’Dal.

“Silence!” Teddy shouted. “Have ye all learned nothing of deception? We are a clan of Con Artists, and yet you have fallen for the commonest of all cons: visual deception. Standing before us is a very powerful polymorph. A woman of small stature, but mighty prowess.”

Momo blinked, feeling a little sick at all the attention. It was like her introduction to the Dawn all over again, except no very tall, very scary woman was comfortingly rubbing her shoulders. All she had now was an increasingly tattered robe, and six anthropomorphic thieves eyeing her up and down.

Clearing her throat, she addressed the allegations.

“That’s me," she agreed quietly.

“That’s definitely her,” Radu re-iterated, a shit-eating grin on his face. “Her power would terrify you.”

Momo nodded quickly, ignoring his sarcasm. She didn’t care if they actually believed she was some intimidating shapeshifting poly-whatever, but it would be very convenient if they did. She figured that their fear would be as good as any thievery insurance.

And she wouldn’t have to pay for it either. How cost-effective. She grinned.

“I don’t want to scare you, but…” she leaned in towards the center of the lamp, and it illuminated her face like a flashlight over a halloween campfire. “I have only revealed a very small, tiny, miniscule droplet of my power.”

Unlike with the knights, this group seemed less inclined to believe every word out of her mouth. They remained stoic, unmoved. She frowned.

“Words are just words,” the Eldergoat thief chimed in. “I’d like to see some action.”

“Ye questioning my judgment?” Teddy pulled him in by the collar, staring him down.

“No, boss!” he shuddered, his hooves peddling on the pavement. “I just don’t know if we want someone unproven here when she arrives…”

“Then I will kindly leave,” Momo bowed, immediately changing tack. She did not want to be around to meet anyone who had to be referred to as she in the third person.

“Not so fast,” Teddy said, releasing the goat. He turned to Momo. “We’ll need all the manpower we can get. If white-hair is as good as she says she is, then we don’t just want this little lady to listen in, we need her to join our ranks.”

Momo shrunk into herself, immediately regretting her confident performance. The last thing she wanted was to be drafted into any more schemes. Valerica had given her a very simple directive: locate woman, deliver letter, return home for promised reward (Valerica’s approval, and possibly, nap).

“Sorry, while I am honored, I am already in a guild,” she said, trying another bow.

“Why do you keep tipping yourself over like that? Are you okay?” one of the thieves asked.

Momo righted herself. Right. Bows weren’t exactly criminal courtesy.

“Doesn’t matter what allegiances you got,” Teddy shook his head. “What matters is you’re a victim of Vivienne’s tyranny, just like we all are. Con Artists used to be able to make a real living in this city. We even had our own department in the Knight Hall – the Office of Necessary Evil.”

“I miss my government pension!”

“And the free healthcare…”

“Can’t even get a stabbing wound fixed up at the hospital anymore without all these invasive questions. What government official were ye trying to kill this time? Why were you involved in a knife fight? I thought there were laws about doctor patient confidentiality, but no more…”

Teddy shushed them again, jutting his knife around.

“Exactly, you fools! This is why we need her.”

He pointed to Momo, who had shrunken so far into her tattered robes that he had to squint to see her.

One of the thieves opened his mouth to speak again, but his voice faltered. The lamp light flickered – the small flame turning from bright yellow to low blue, and then finally to nothing at all. The group stood silently, enveloped in shadow.

“Oh gods,” the eldergoat trembled, “she’s here.”

“Is it too late for me to ask who she is?” Momo wondered aloud, speaking into the darkness.

A shriek died in Momo’s throat as a gloved hand covered her lips, and another over her eyes. She tried to speak or move, but found herself incapable of either. A cold breath landed on her shoulder, and a low, honeyed voice spoke in her ear.

“Long time no see, Valerica.”

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