“No one is going anywhere but up these stairs,” Nia sighed. “The goat is spinning tales.”
Momo frowned, but she elected not to press the topic. She wasn’t exactly receiving glowing interest from her fellow Con Artists – even Radu had chosen to stare at his feet, tapping them anxiously.
The last thing Momo wanted was to upset her newfound friends, but she couldn’t rid herself of the clawing sensation in her stomach. The feeling probably originated with the fact that she had flown off quest-course by about a hundred miles; she was supposed to be delivering a letter to a woman, and somehow, instead, she was here: attempting to overthrow the government of a city she had arrived in a few days ago.
This is what happens when you leave your ADHD meds on Earth, she muttered internally.
Still, Valerica would be proud – hopefully. Chaos creates a power vacuum. It was the line the Necromage fed Momo every time she accidentally created more problems when attempting to solve one. Valerica seemed awfully confident that Morgana’s Dawn would be the one to fill that vacuum, but Momo was becoming increasingly less confident in that idea.
It turned out that many more people than Valerica were vying to capitalize on chaos. Oversized mice, shape shifting frog-faced men, an alleged witch. Even a cute, red Gecko with a Romanian name.
More than ever before, Momo had the urge to shed all responsibility, and fall flat on the floor.
“A witch will come, a witch will come,” Galgadool muttered miserably. “Galgadool is doomed, oh sweet, Galgadool, doomed to rot, rot away, in this little, cramped cell, poor Galgadool…”
The shaking goat had begun to hum a song about his own demise. Hearing it, Momo’s pity for him tipped the scales, outweighing her own self-pity by a fraction. Ugh. She bemoaned the day her brain developed enough to experience empathy.
She pulled at the door of his cell, and to her surprise, it gave immediately. It wasn’t even locked.
“Um, Mr. Galgadool,” she cleared her throat. “You’re free to go.”
He ignored her, continuing to hum. She demonstrated his freedom by walking in and out of his cell a few times, but he remained content singing his depressed anthem. It was as if a switch had been flipped, his goat-brain stuck in an infinite loop of misery and confusion.
Momo knew the state of mind well. It was the same one she entered whenever she had to play Clue.
“Told you,” Nia sing-songed. Momo huffed, but got up and joined the crew. She couldn't procrastinate any longer. It was coup d'etat time.
—
Momo smiled fondly at the hallway they arrived in. It was a hallway of happy memories – the same place her and Radu had previously assaulted and mugged two unlucky knights. The armor they had produced was lacking, but at least the first part had been fun.
“Remember this hallway?” Momo prodded, poking Radu in the side.
“We escaped prison two days ago,” Radu said, unamused. “Of course I remember it.”
“Good times.”
“You were begging me to let you go back to the jailhouse the entire time.”
“Well you should be thankful that I didn’t go,” Momo raised an eyebrow. “What other huge bird would have flown you out except mine?”
“I feel the need to explain that, without you constantly catching everyone’s attention, I wouldn’t have needed a giant bird.”
“No one ever thinks they need a giant bird,” Momo frowned, “until they’re 300 meters off the ground, and suddenly it’s the best – and only – solution.”
“A bunch of bickering birds, you two are,” Teddy laughed. “Now, shush up, there’s probably a guard around.”
Teddy was balancing himself on the wall, swaying in-place. He was the most distracting one in the whole bunch, sticking out like a drunk thumb. If any guards were around, they'd surely spot him first. Luckily, the hallway was completely empty, silent as a funeral.
“Aren’t you supposed to be dealing with the guards?” Momo suggested.
His red face lit up. “Right-o I am! Forgot about that…”
“We’ve made perfect timing, it seems,” Nia remarked, peeking over the wall. As she stood, the rest of the group stood with her, a cult of obedient chickens. “The halls are empty, as is the jailhouse. The prisoner exchange must have just started.”
The Con Artists did a mild hurrah. Momo wasn’t sure what they were celebrating. They were still wanted criminals who had willingly walked into prison. Not only that, but…
Her eyes widened.
“Ms. Nightsbane,” Momo coughed. “Seeing as there are no prisoners left to execute, and there’s a banquet happening… won’t Vivienne be in the Banquet Hall, too? To oversee it all? Why would she be sitting in her chamber, waiting for us to catch her?”
The Con Artists’ excited chatter came to an abrupt halt, the question hanging in the air.
“The wee one has a point,” a thief remarked.
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“Won’t the knights be in there, too? Guarding the exchange in case something goes awry?”
“Takin’ on all of them metalheads at once? Seems like a death sentence…”
Nia glared at Momo silently, and then after a few moments, she sighed.
“You’re right,” she said, much to Momo’s surprise. “I might have… miscalculated.”
“Miscalculated?” Teddy unsteadily turned towards her, an accusatory finger pointed upwards. “Isn’t our entire plan based on the fact that Vivienne will be in her chamber, and the knights in the barracks? You’re expecting our crew to take on the whole of Nam’Dal’s government with nothing but the element of surprise on our side?”
“Of course not,” Nia responded coolly. “The majority of the knights will still be in their chambers. Vivienne obviously wanted to keep all of this hush-hush, so I doubt they’d have every blabbermouth metalhead watching the proceedings. My only error is that I assumed only one or two of the prisoners would be used for the trade, not the whole lot of them.”
“Meaning Vivienne will probably be in the Banquet Hall, not busy with her usual job of overseeing executions, err, judgements,” Radu said slowly, coming to the natural conclusion.
“Yes, tragically,” Nia waved her hand. “But that’s no matter. We’ll simply change tack.”
“How can we trust that you won’t miscalculate another step and get us all killed?” the eldergoat thief chimed in, furious as ever. Momo had come to appreciate his constant skepticism. It mirrored her more silent variation of skepticism, which took form as staring silently at Nia, smiling slightly.
“I suppose you can’t,” Nia shrugged. “But you’re all here already, and you’re as hungry to see the stolen money in those vaults as I am. So, if you want to, leave. Or you can be smart, and listen to me.”
The group once again fell silent, save the eldergoat thief, who threw up his hands.
“I know you all are blinded by the dragon’s hoard of coin she’s promising, but I’m not risking my hide for this catastrophe of a plan,” he shouted, and turned on his heel towards the jail cells. “Anyone else with a brain cell, I suggest you follow.”
The thieves looked amongst themselves, completely gobsmacked. After a few moments, they looked to Teddy, unwilling to betray the most powerful thief in Nam’Dal without their leader’s directive.
“I say we hear the woman out,” Teddy said, mumbling slightly. He seemed to have sobered up, adrenaline replacing alcohol. “There’s nothing I want more than to see the Con Artists’ Guild’s gold returned to its rightful vault, and Nia’s still the best of the best.”
“Thank you,” Nia said, and looked towards Momo specifically. “We are supposed to be a team, and act as a team. If we can stay true to that, we’ll come home much richer than we began.”
At that turn of phrase – richer than we began – Momo remembered Nia’s story about entering Nam’Dal. How she strode up the long bridge full of thieves, mugging the muggers. She didn’t just protect herself from crime, she left them penniless too.
This was the woman who refused to join a guild. A freelance criminal, an equal opportunity thief.
Momo didn’t need a crazy goat to foretell to her what was about to happen. Nia was performing a solo heist, just like always – but only this time, she’d hang the blame somewhere else.
“There’s no I in team,” Momo mumbled, echoing her third grade soccer coach.
“What?” Nia narrowed her eyes.
“I’m going with Teddy to the Barracks, to fetch my letter to Komodo,” Momo said, decisively. She tried not to let her legs wobble. “I wish you all good luck with the government overthrowing.”
Nia’s cheeks heated bright red.
“No,” she ordered, reaching for Momo’s arm. She gripped it hard, trapping Momo where she stood. “You’re not going anywhere.”
The rest of the group looked on in fright, not expecting the outburst. Sensing the unrest, Nia dialed down the intensity, blowing out a breath and letting go of Momo’s arm. Momo yelped at the release of contact, taking a step backwards.
“Sorry,” Nia said. “It’s just – we need you. We can’t do this without you.”
“Me?” Momo said, eyebrows lifting.
“Her?” Radu parroted.
“Her?” Everyone else joined in, as a final blow to Momo’s ego.
“Yes, her,” Nia gritted her teeth. “Without Momo, it will be impossible to change tack.”
She looked at Momo, smiling sympathetically. The change in expression only made Momo dread her next words more, a shiver running up her spine.
“Luring out a shark requires bait,” Nia said. “And no better bait to lure the Head Knight out of the Banquet than the girl who blew up her tower.”
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