When I opened my eyes, she was staring at me.
When I let go of her lips, I saw myself reflected in her eyes, looking lonely. When I stood up, she gently wrapped her thin and fragile body around me.
"......relieved?"
Her face is full of confidence, but Alice asks in a thin voice.
When our eyes met, Alice hugged her knees to hide the embarrassing stain on the bed.
"My fear has subsided, but I wonder if the fear is still there."
Precisely because my precious friend Alice heals me, what I feared was losing her.
"Meeting and parting are always a set. The moment you meet someone, you should prepare a farewell. You can never separate them."
So Alice has already accepted it and just enjoy this time to the fullest.
When I met Alice, the farewell was already prepared. But I wanted to be with her, and Alice chose that way as well.
"There comes a time when friends, lovers, and family must part. No matter how close friends are, they become estranged and separate, the same with lovers. Even if you get married and become a family, one day death will come and we'll part.
Sooner or later the day will come when we have to part. No matter how much you understand it in your mind, it's hard to accept.
"So there is no point in fearing a future separation. There is no need to be afraid of anything, just enjoy the moment to the fullest. That, in my opinion, is the most important thing in life.
So Alice has already accepted it and is just enjoying this time to the fullest.
"Keep it in your head"
Alice has clearly cursed me as the worst. She is as unforgiving as ever.
"The reason you can say that is because you have no self-confidence."
As Alice said, I have absolutely no self-confidence. Before I met Alice, I had a baseless self-confidence that you should be better than ordinary people, or that you should be able to do anything you want to do.
When it came time to actually test my abilities, I didn't get the results I wanted. I realized I was overestimating myself.
"I'm glad I got to go out with you. Be a person who can say that."
"This is...it seems pretty difficult."
"It doesn't matter how long it takes, but at some point you have to say those words to me seriously."
Alice is stubborn, so she will never forget or change her mind until I tell her.
"If you don't, I won't do anything naughty to you anymore."
"Oh, that's annoying."
Alice smiles after hearing my words.
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"I'm in trouble too."
When I learned that Alice felt the same way, a loving feeling welled up in my heart.
"The reason Aoi doesn't have confidence is because the only person who really appreciates you is me."
"Sure. Before I know it, the only person I interact with is Alice."
"Entertain someone, save someone, be trusted by someone, be loved by someone. If you accumulate these things one by one, you will definitely gain confidence.
With her strictness and kindness, Alice twists and turns me and shapes my personality.
"Be aware that overcoming something or achieving a goal by yourself does not build confidence. Confidence comes from being appreciated by others. Everything else is just self-esteem."
You think of me more than anyone else, and you love me more than anyone else. That is Alice, and to me she is the best.
"Aoi is a really amazing person when everyone around him says he is amazing. Aoi is a really good guy when everyone around him likes him. If that happens, the day will come when you can honestly say that to me, right?"
"I'll try my best."
"I look forward to the day when Aoi can confidently say that he's glad I'm his girlfriend. I still love her so much, but if his says that... I'm sure I won't be able to control my feelings.
When the expectations are so high, I have no choice but to do whatever it takes.
"Maybe we can get married then. Like a proposal?"
With a look of having thought of something good, Alice said something outrageous.
"What are you saying?"
"I'm serious. I'll wait for you. I promise."
Alice wrapped her little finger around mine, which was full of gaps.
"Okay. I'll definitely say it."
"All right, this is the first and last man I've ever loved."
You always have to keep your promises. That's what Alice taught me. Look at Alice's lips. The mole under her lower lip always seduces me.
"Okay, but do it."
As if sensing my feelings, she gave me permission to kiss her and hugged me gently.
"I'll watch over you the whole time. It's okay."
I will never stop until the day I feel safe in myself.
On Christmas Day, I made a vow to Alice. I will ask her to marry me when the time is right.
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