Chapter 9: Chapter 8: Deceit

“Mike, listen carefully. You raped me. I never gave permission to fuck my pussy, did I? You just assumed so because you wanted to. It’s all your fault, ♡.”

I raped Susan…?

“You took my little bitchy pussy and put me in place. You ravaged my pussy and ravished my body. You need to take responsibility, otherwise you will become the worst type of man ♡.”

I raped Susan…

“I am disappointed in you, Mike ♡! You forced yourself on me, undressed me, and raped me so hard, ♡! All while I still had a boyfriend, ♡! Now I can never be a bride. Take responsibility and marry me~, have kids with me~ and make me your one and only wife~.”

I raped Susan. How could I? I need to take responsibility and support her. It’s my duty to repent with my life by providing for her.

“Good, I am glad you understand, Mike. Don’t be unhappy, I love you the most in the world. Just love me and me only ♡! Give me lots of your love and seed ♡!”

I broke Susan and robbed her of her virginity. I have to take care of her. Even if she forgives me, I am only taking advantage of her kindness.

“Sleep tight, Mike. When you wake up, you will be indebted to me for life. My one and only Mike, ehehehe ♡. No one will disturb us anymore~ ♡”

I can only fulfill her wishes. It’s the punishment for my crimes. Susan’s eyes slowly turn into a dull red shade. Drowsiness oppresses my thinking. I cuddle into her and sleep on her bosom.

“My one and only Mike ♡.”

…

I wake up with a heavy headache. The sunlight is seeping through the curtains, exposing me to its rays. My memory feels hazy, I can’t remember anything. As I turn around, I notice the curled figure of Susan’s. Her back was facing me, I can hear her soft sobbing sounds. Wait, why is she sleeping in the same bed as mine?

CRACK

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Suddenly, dozens of images enter my brain. It is me indulging in lust. Like a bestial animal, I force myself on a girl. It is Susan. I steal her lips, take her clothes apart, violate her body and corrupt her. It was never supposed to be like this… why... did I do that…? I was only supposed to stop acting as her training boyfriend and become normal acquaintances! Why did this happen? Why? Why? Why? Why! Worst of all, my dick is more erect than I ever remember it being. What kind of monster had I become to rape someone else’s girlfriend, just because of some fucking pathetic jealousy? I thought I was a grown man, a respectful one who at least followed his morals.

But I was wrong… I am just some worthless bastard who can’t keep his gross dick in his pants. I deserve to die, someone fucking kill me. It is the first time in many years I cry. The last time I remember doing was when my parents died. I took a solemn vow then to never cry again. But what is the point? I have reached the lowest of the low. Susan is still sobbing, her body is trembling. I try touching her, but she flinches and backs away. It makes sense, why would anyone want to be touched by their rapist. No one could understand her pain right now. Still, with the last bits of my pride left as a man, I have to beg for forgiveness. I have to repent for the unforgivable deeds I committed and repent for it my entire life. I quickly get on my knees, clench my hands into a fist and bow down to her.

“I am sorry, Susan. I am sorry t-t-that I… raped you. I deserve nothing but your hatred, I deserve to fucking die. If you tell me to off myself; I will do it. I swear by it. I will serve you however you wish if it can appease the atrocities I made you a victim to. I am s-sorry S-susan, I am so sorry…” I cry like the disgusting man I am, choking on my own tears. She turns around and takes a peek at me. Anger, hatred, sadness, betrayal and fear. Her eyes contain a whirlwind of negative emotions. I hate how she looks so frail and wronged, and I deserve every bit of her scorn.

Susan sniffs a bit and tries to snuffle out her cries. She looks at me like disgust, like the despicable man I am.

“Take r-responsibility…” her voice is quaint, like the whispers of a wounded angel.

“Take responsibility for raping me, you fucking bastard!” She grits her tears and shouts softly. She reaches for a pillow and flings it at me, I don’t try avoiding it as it lands right at my face. She breaks down into tears as her hands cover her face.

“You tainted my body and took my innocence. I can’t even marry my boyfriend anymore. It’s-it’s… all because of you! I trusted you, Mike! I trusted you…!”

I want to comfort her, but it would only make things worse. I held my head down in shame. I am not even worth deserving to receive her anger, I only wish she would hit me if it could relieve her pain a bit.

“You need to take responsibility! Because of you, no one would want to marry a rape victim… My future is ruined, all because of you...” My heart is being torn apart. That’s not true Susan, you’re still the most beautiful girl ever. Even if it is touched by this fucking bastard here, I am sure there will be kind men out there to support you.

“Come with me…”

Huh? She wants me to come with her, despite all that I did?

“Come with me and meet my family. I want them to see what kind of fucking man raped their daughter. They will decide your punishment.”

I am surprised when I hear that. I see, maybe Susan is someone who believes and relies on her family. I am sure they wouldn’t let me off scot-free. It’s fine. I will accept any punishment she will hand out to me. I have forsaken my right to live last night when I conducted those devilish acts. If only, if only I was a better man, if I had never met Susan, if I rejected her offer back then and there, this all would’ve never happened. It felt I am drowning down the abyss, never to surface again, and it is all my undoing. My nails dug into palms, Susan is barely tolerating looking at me. She bites her lips with vindictiveness.

“I’ll come back in 2 days, you better not run away. You promised to make up for your mistakes, right? This is the last chance I am giving you. If you try to leave now… I swear I will drag you back to where you belong.” Susan suppresses her anger as she speaks to me. She is hugging herself as if I am going to harm her right now. There isn’t any trust remaining. I don’t blame her. In my current state, I doubt whether I can even trust myself.

Susan quickly grabs her clothes, which are strewn across the floor and leaves in a hurry. My existence feels hollow as I see her go past the door. My tears have run dry and so have my emotions. I should just rot away in this dingy room until she returns to serve justice. That would prevent me from laying my hands on other innocent women. This is just what I deserve. With this hopelessness filling me, maybe I could understand even a small portion of the pain she went through.

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