Chapter 46: Chapter 45: Why?

36 fell silent upon hearing what Allan said. There was a speck of truth in this. No. It was his honest opinion and personality. It went without question that he did not expect to be refused. Not even able to claim a slim chance to live. Not that he was greedy. A normal person would probably think about it in a similar way, but he did not because of his own personal problems and experience.

“I… can’t force you. Nothing I can say can do.” 36 helplessly said.

“Allan?!” Sarey glanced at him in surprise.

“Is it that weird? I never cared about the legends of energy. What good does it have? Can it save lives? Save the world against the war? What good will come from it apart from being one above the mortals?”

“I don’t know.” Sarey muttered.

“You can’t just carelessly become an energy user. Spark is needed no matter your family or background. There are immortal families who kill or get rid of their own descendants just because of their lack of talent. Although I doubt you have some chances, Allan. I just wanted to teach you for a year to see if I could have a slim chance? Think of it as a whim of a demon who was forced against the corner. For all I care, this is just an option and barely a choice in your case.” The Voice of 36 changed dramatically as he talked in a calm and serious manner.

“Not everyone can become one? I know that. What is it? Like one in a million?” Allan asked while not at all surprised by 36's demeanor.

“More or less. It doesn’t matter much. The way immortals look at stuff is vastly different from what a mortal does. I already put you through the beginning chapter of one of the body forging what can be processed by mortals, so deal with it. Hehehe.”

“What?”

“36!? Do you mean I did? No?” Sarey shouted in a heavy tone as she gripped her fists.

“ Alright, not to be exact, but I did a similar thing as if was the case. You would be crippled beyond savings, boy. I want to live too. Sorry to be so forceful, but life and the world itself are not such a good place for these things to matter.”

“You talk quite smugly to a blind person. I have even less respect for your way of doing things. For you to force me to be your student. I will think about it carefully for a bit, as I just woke up from who knows where.”

“I've got it, kid. I won’t force you to learn anything. It is up to you. You can just toss the diary into the river and the world would forget about it. Me as well.”

Allan forced his torso up and moved his hands and legs to the ground.

“Ugh. How annoying.” He complained.

“You shouldn’t move that much.” Sarey added to no avail when she tried to stop him.

“It needs to be moved, or I will rot in place. Can you help me get out? I need some fresh air.” Allan asked, after gritting his teeth through the willpower alone. He had limited power in his legs and was still fine to walk for a bit. Walking was harder, but it was soon much better as muscles and blood worked around to get the feelings right.

“Of course.” Sarey had no choice with him. Having heard a not-so-nice-sounding conversation between them, she felt a little guilty over this. She never intended for this to happen and grabbed his hand around his shoulder and another around his hip.

“You weight more than I thought.”

“My body feels like it. Maybe it’s because I am so numb to everything.”

36 was left alone in the room. Silently cursing and complaining within his mind, that was trapped in a figurine. He hoped for something more positive to happen to him with this exchange. Being forceful about it was not a bit of an issue to him. As he watched that, Allan would have trouble walking through the normal mortal's life.

Like this, he could get a better life and something better for himself. There would be a possibility of helping Allan restore him to normal and even beyond. Giving him more strength was easy with the material he read about. He wasn’t sure if he would be able to find his Spark, but that did not matter much to him at the moment. If he had no talent, then there was all to it.

In fact, previous lucky users of this Diary of the Body were people who did not go through such an experience. Allan’s encounter with dragon Cendirr left him with a choice he had no control over or even awareness of it. Be it fate or something else, Allan became one of the unluckiest people who encountered treasure beyond the world itself. In order to grab this opportunity, he wasn’t sure if he had enough courage. Not right now, at least. He needed to rest, both mentally and physically.

Sarey led Allan to a nice place outside in a courtyard by a side of the tree. He laid there for a long while. Darkness enveloped his vision all the same, and he could see a picture in his mind. A man with a scar across his face, punching him and hunting him throughout the forest. He ended up in a similar position, like the nightmare he went through at that time. Laying by a side of the tree, but this time, his mind was more peaceful.

“What can I do for myself? There is hardly something I can do without a vision. That's one of the most basic needs any living being needs to have. Without it, I am just a blind boy with nothing to his name. No home, no life, and no power. I don’t want to end and trouble such a nice girl like Sarey. I can’t understand why she is so persistent, for my sake.” Allan wondered about things that were on his mind. Silently hearing his surroundings, he tried to calm his mind.

He suddenly heard heavier steps. They were moving closer to him. It was not Sarey. She found it better to leave him to rest by himself.

“Boy.” Man’s voice said.

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“Are you the father of Sarey?” Allan asked.

“Yes.”

“Uhhh…” He struggled to get up to his knees. He slowly got himself to kneel before Zigmund, who was standing close to him.

“What are you doing?” Zigmund asked.

“My father taught me some manners. Be grateful to the people who helped you. Be glad for yourself and their future. Pay with respect and sincerity.” Allan sternly said as he knelt before him. It did not matter how pathetic he looked at the moment.

“Oh? Sounds like a good man. What is he like?” Zigmund asked as he scratched his rough beard.

“Hard working man, blacksmithing was the only thing that was on his mind. He raised me alone, without my mom, who passed away shortly after giving me life.”

“I am sorry to hear that.”

“Can I do anything to you, sir?” Allan wondered.

“I just wanted to check on you as well. Don’t think too deeply about your problems. It is better to have a broader outlook and just try your best.”

“What could a blind man do?”

“I don’t know. I knew a few. Their lives were not so miserable and depressed as you would think.”

“Thank you for this encouragement, but I am a rather realistic person.”

“Find a goal for yourself first. Get your body back and try to get by with what you have. That's pretty much what I want to say to you. My daughter is very stubborn… I guess that is both from me and her mother, so try to get along with her, as she won't probably leave you alone out of the spite for me.”

“Really? I heard from her that you were heavily against her help for me. I must say that I am immensely grateful to you for allowing this to happen, even though Sarey was the one who forced the situation.” Allan kowtowed once last time before he rested his back on the tree.

“Your arrival was very abnormal, after all. I know about some things that you would find strange but rest well for now. I think I will have to learn to deal with you being in my home after all. Hehehh.” Zigmund laughed and walked away.

He wanted to see his first impression, and he got exactly that. Seeing and talking were different points of view. He was not left disappointed. Allan’s behavior left him in a much better place in his heart.

“Goal? Should I even worry about it? I mean, if he is saying the truth. Immortal help is something you never could seek out. He sounds a little harsh and full of himself, but that is what I would imagine someone who stands beyond the mortal, I guess.”
Allan’s guesses were not wrong about it at all. He was harsh to himself as well. His goal was a very broad term, and he needed a different outlook to make himself better at his current situation.

If he truly embarked on the path 36 talked about. What changes could happen to him? The path beyond the mortal was not something he found that appealing. It was more of a question if it was a good idea to begin with. Taking a step back from something, Allan was not that sort of person.

“It seems there is hardly a choice for my own sake.” Allan sighed to himself.

“But, if I can get my eyes back. It wouldn’t hurt me. Fine! Let’s just go for it.” He stretched his body. His hands moved much better than before. He could feel his touch senses be more intense than before. He felt grass and wind. As well as the aroma of forest and trees. It made him very happy to be free of his helplessness, but there were things that he wanted more than his own safety.

He wanted to save his father and Skoll. Get back what was important to him, back to himself. It was forced on him. If there was no choice left, one must seek fate for oneself. Be it in a war state that was constantly wrapping around the people. There should be an opportunity to understand the meaning behind everything.

His home was lost through this time. He did not know how long has passed or where he was. Tricloud region did not sound familiar at all and he was not in a mood to think about it. He had a lingering feeling that something was wrong with it. It was more of a subconscious call than anything else. He simply shrugged it off.

After checking himself up, he found his body very similar to before. He could feel his muscles and power that was dormant for some time. His numbness made him rather unhappy, but it could eventually disappear. Unfortunately, his lack of sight would not return like that.
He forced himself to stand up, his hands reached out to the near tree. Allan checked his posture and legs. He pumped up his blood with a few slow sit-ups. He nearly fell from doing it, but managed to make it through.

“Phew. I will need to cherish my death. Or maybe I can consider it as another chance given to me by that barking voice? I doubt it sounded generous enough.” He found his situation more hilarious and laughed to himself. He will probably not share this with anyone. Who would think about it like this? Just some lunatic whose dreams were strange after drinking too much alcohol.

Soon, he could hear smaller steps coming his way.

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