My Best Friend is an Eldritch Horror

Chapter 135: Capter 135: Pillar to the face


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“Anytime,” Damien replied. “And I think we need a new plan.”

Saliva whipped from the Devourer Beast’s mouth as it leaned forward and let out a furious roar.

“I think you might be right,” Sylph said. “I’ve got an idea, but I need you to distract it. Like, really distract it. It needs to forget I exist.”

The monster examined them with its beady eyes. Its fists balled in the dirt, but it watched them warily. Sylph’s attack had shown that they could injure it, and caution had trickled into its motions.

“You won’t be able to get close if I do,” Damien warned.

“I’ll find a way.”

Damien nodded, drawing Ether inside himself and sending it out into his hands and feet. “Right. Get ready.”

He dashed towards the hulking creature. It’s eyes widened for a moment at his newfound bravery, but with a barking laugh-growl, the Devourer Beast loped forward and swung an open hand at him.

Damien dove to the side, feeling the wind from the strike whistle past his body, and slammed his hands into the ground. The dirt expanded, forming a thick pillar that thrust upwards into the creature’s stomach.

The strike wasn’t strong enough to send it flying, but all the air rushed out of the monster’s lungs in a huff. Damien didn’t give it a chance to respond, casting enlarge on the ground right beside the first pillar.

Another pillar shot out, slamming into the monster’s face. It staggered back with a roar, uninjured but incredibly annoyed. Damien kicked the pillar he’d formed and another one shot out of it, striking the overgrown gorilla in the stomach a second time.

Two gravity spheres flickered to life in Damien’s hands. He lobbed them at the monster, detonating them as soon as they grew close and yanking it off balance. He then enlarged a speck of dirt at an angle, sending a pole flying straight into the Devourer Beast’s crotch.

Ether gathered at Damien’s feet. It formed into two gravity drills that he sent hurtling towards the monster. They both struck it in the chest, churning into the thick hair but still failing to do any serious damage.

It shook its head and loped towards Damien, throwing dirt at him furiously. He Warp Stepped to the side, leaving a gravity sphere behind him. The spell pulled it off balance just long enough for Damien to send another pillar flying at its behind.

The spell did little more than knock it forward a few steps, but when the Devourer Beast swung back towards Damien, he could see the burning hatred in its eyes had doubled. All thoughts of the pendant inside the log cabin had vanished.

All that remained was the fury towards the small annoying pest peppering it with enlarged rock spears. Damien stuck his tongue out and formed four gravity spheres – two at his hands and two at his feet.

He threw them around the monster as it started to charge, pulling it off balance but failing to stop it completely. Damien Warp Stepped out of the way of a violent crushing strike that sent dirt flying everywhere.

Sylph took that moment to shoot out from where she’d been standing. The monster was so focused on Damien that it barely even registered the dark blur as she dashed forward and thrust the shadow blade into its back.

In an impressive display of acrobatics, Sylph used the hilt of her sword like a bar to swing herself onto the monster’s back. Another blade formed in her hands and she drove it home into the Devourer Beast’s neck.

The light in the monster’s eyes blinked out. It took a step forward, then tipped and crashed face first to the ground. Damien slowly lowered his hands. He was breathing heavily, and now that the monster was dead, he was struck by how bad it smelled. It was like a mixture of hot sweat and unwashed armpits.

Sylph stepped off the fallen creature’s back, allowing her shadowy blades to dissipate. She walked to stand beside Damien. “Is there anything else coming?”

“Nothing right now,” Henry said before Damien could ask. “That was it, apparently.”

“Nope. It was just the stinky monkey,” Damien said, pinching his nose. “I don’t think Mel is going to be very happy with us. It smashed her house.”

“You’d be right about that,” Mel’s voice said from behind Damien. He paled and turned around as Delph and Mel walked out from the treeline. Their hair was rassled and their clothes were covered in dirt. Delph had a cut running down the side of his arm and Mel had one on her right leg. She did not look happy.

“How long have you been here?” Sylph asked.

“The last bit of the fight, from what it looks like,” Delph replied with a shrug. “We didn’t see the monkey smash Mel’s roof. Unless that was one of you?”

“It was the monkey,” Damien said quickly.

“Bummer,” Delph said. “Good job with the Devourer. It looks young, but it was a decent fight from both of you. Devourer Beasts aren’t to be messed with.”

“It would have been a lot easier if you’d let me finish it off,” Mel said tersely. “There was no need to sit around watching your students and the monster ruin my house.”

“If you hadn’t kidnapped me and attacked me out of nowhere, your house would have been fine,” Delph said. “Besides, it was a teaching moment. Real combat experience is very important.”

“For someone that wants a favor from me, you aren’t being very convincing.”

“Damn,” Delph said. He turned to Damien and Sylph. “Can one of you do puppy dog eyes?”

Mel let out an exasperated sigh. “I can’t wait until someone puts you in your place. I’d do it myself if it wasn’t such a goddamned bother, and I want you out of my hair yesterday.”

“Fastest way to do that is by telling me what the amulet does,” Delph said with a cheerful grin. It was the most terrifying thing Damien had ever seen the man do. His grizzled face didn’t look right with a full smile on it.

“Stop smiling,” Mel said. “It’s creepy, and you’re a psychopath. We both know you’re faking it.”

“Your words wound me,” Delph said, letting the grin drop. “Are you identifying my amulet or not?”

Mel strode past him. She paused by the Devourer Beast’s corpse, then snapped her hands. After a moment, a gnarled wooden staff shot out from within her house and flew into her hands. She tapped the butt of it against the dead monster.

A whirlpool of white energy expanded over it. Motes of light rose up from the monster and it started to dissolve. Within moments, it was like it had never been there at all. Mel walked inside and emerged a few moments later holding the amulet.

She leaned against the staff and stared at the small piece of jewelry. Her eyes shimmered, the whites vanishing as they turned completely silver. After a few moments, the strange color faded.

“It’s a key,” Mel said, tossing it to Delph. “And a homing device. It sends out a magical signal every few seconds. I don’t know what the signal is, but it’s probably some sort of ‘come get me’ request. And, before you ask, I don’t know what the key is for. Probably something important considering the amount of monsters that apparently want it.”

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“Huh,” Delph said. “A key. Lots of fuss for something like that. I wonder what it leads to.”

“I don’t know,” Mel replied. “And frankly, I don’t care. I identified the stupid thing. That means our business is done, right?”

“I suppose it is,” Delph agreed. “I don’t suppose you want to help me figure out what the key is for?”

“Eat shit,” Mel replied, storming inside her cabin and slamming the door shut behind her. The effect was considerably dampened by the fact that Damien could still the top of her hair through the hole in the front ceiling of the house.

“Worth a shot,” Delph said, shrugging at his students. “Either way, we got what we came for. Good job.”

“We barely did anything,” Sylph said. “All we did was kill a juvenile Devourer Beast.”

“You kept Mel from going ballistic and trying to kill me the moment she saw me,” Delph said. “The monster was nice too, I suppose. But she probably wouldn’t have agreed to identify the amulet had you not been there.”

“What did you even do to her?” Damien asked.

“I already told you that. I tried to kill her.”

“Well, I got that much. Why?”

Delph shrugged. “It happens sometimes, you know?”

“No,” Damien said. “I don’t. I can’t think of many people that you could just accidentally try to kill that would survive you either.”

“Oh, it wasn’t an accident,” Delph said.

Mel poked her head out the door. “Stop dillydallying and get lost! I don’t want to have to see you lot any more than I have to.”

“We’re leaving,” Delph replied with an irritable grunt. He put a hand on Damien and Sylph’s shoulders and his cloak rippled, reaching out and enveloping them. The world faded to gray and they vanished.

They reappeared in front of their room. The sun had lowered considerably since they’d left, but it hadn’t even been a whole day.

“That was… fast,” Damien said slowly.

“What, not long enough for you?” Delph asked, grunting. “Dangerous doesn’t mean slow.”

“We’ll take it,” Sylph said. “Does this mean we’re done with the required quests for this year?”

“You are,” Delph said. “The Dean will understand. I’ll get you your contribution points and gold for your trouble as well. They’ll be waiting with Auntie. You’ve got the rest of the week to prepare for finals, and I recommend you take it. You might be fine in my class, but I’m going to make sure you work for your pass.”

“Thanks,” Damien said slowly. “Last question, before you leave. Who was that woman?”

“Mel,” Delph replied, crossing his arms. “My wife.”

With that, he condensed into a small gray orb and vanished, leaving Damien and Sylph staring open mouthed at where he’d been standing.

“He does have a flair for the dramatic,” Sylph muttered, shaking her head.

“Do you even think she’s really his wife?” Damien asked. “It wouldn’t surprise me if he was just lying to mess with us.”

“Does it matter either way? I don’t think we’ll be seeing her again anytime soon. If we do, you’re welcome to ask yourself.”

“I think I’ll pass on that,” Damien said, shuddering. “She liked us little enough already. Just what did Delph do to her? Other than trying to kill her, that is.”

“You act as if that’s not bad enough.” Sylph laughed. “And it hardly affects us. Delph is right about one thing – we need to focus on training. I’m so close to figuring out my new spell that I should be able to get it before the week is out. I know you just got a new one, so learning another spell right before finals might not be on your list, but I’m sure you’ve got something you need to practice.”

“A lot,” Damien agreed, thinking back over the fight with the Devourer Beast. His magic hadn’t been useless, but it had barely managed to scratch the monster’s thick hide while Sylph’s spells had gone straight through it.

They dispersed into the training rooms, but Damien sat down against the wall and scratched his chin in thought.

Henry, why was my magic weaker than Sylph’s?

“It wasn’t,” Henry said. “Not weaker, that is. Your magic is several times more powerful than hers.”

Then why did her spells penetrate the monster’s hide when mine didn’t?

“You waste too much energy,” Henry replied. “Your spells are strong, but you aren’t using the entirety of their effect on a single point or edge like Sylph does. Think of it this way. Let’s say her spell has ten magic points in it and yours has one hundred. Almost all ten of Sylph’s points are concentrated directly on the edge of her sword. You disperse yours throughout the entirety of your spells, meaning that they’re stronger, but they’re much more spread out.”

So I have to get my spells more concentrated?

“No. You could probably improve your magical control, but there’s no point to spend that much time over it. Sylph has more control than you ever will. She has near complete mastery of her magic, and that means she can get much more effect out of it. You’ll never get the results she does, but it doesn’t matter when you can cast an overwhelming number of spells. You can also overload or learn stronger ones to make up the gap and surpass her.”

Right, I’m with you. By overload, do you mean put more Ether into a normal spell?

“Essentially. You don’t want to do it unless you understand the spell well, but you can probably start looking into that for gravity sphere and enlarge or reduce. You’ve got a decent enough grasp of both spells, so you shouldn’t lose control of the Ether and blow yourself up.”

Noted. I suppose I know what I’ll be practicing until finals come around, then.

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