My Best Friend is an Eldritch Horror

Chapter 19: Chapter 19: Don’t get the free food


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The two of them started towards it, keeping to the side of the road. They passed several groups of other students on the way. Unlike the other mages from Blackmist that Damien had met, they were wearing casual clothes.

“Magister Dredd is just awful,” one of the girls said as her group passed Damien and Sylph. “I swear that man just enjoys torturing his students.”

“He’s not so bad once you get used to the pain,” another girl said, their voices fading as they got farther away.

Damien made a mental note to avoid any teachers called Magister Dredd – even the man’s name sounded intimidating.

Despite the college’s somewhat dreary name, the campus was anything but. Now that Damien could get a better look at the buildings, it was apparent that each one was carefully crafted by loving architects.

Every bush and plant they passed was neatly trimmed and thriving. Several of the plants even had fruit hanging from them.

Even the roads were carefully maintained. The bricks were smooth and shiny. They almost looked slippery, but they felt anything but. Miniscule runes ran along nearly every flat surface on the ground, forming curving lines that ran through the entire campus.

“It must have taken years to do all this,” Damien said.

“It’s impressive,” Sylph agreed.

The library hadn’t seemed far at first, but it ended up taking nearly fifteen minutes to arrive. The mess hall was slightly closer to them than the library was. Damien wiped away the small amount of sweat that had accumulated on his forehead during the walk – his coat wasn’t exactly light.

“And you aren’t exactly in shape,” Henry scoffed. “You need to start moving more. Your friend doesn’t even look like she broke a sweat.”

Damien rolled his eyes, but Henry was right. It wasn’t that the walk had been hard, but it was quite hot outside and fifteen minutes in the heat should have been enough to bring at least a little sweat to anyone’s forehead. Of course, Damien wasn’t about to ask her why she wasn’t sweating.

The wooden doors leading into the mess hall were wide open, so the two of them stepped inside. A rush of cool air hit them instantly. Long marble tables ran along the entirety of the building. They weren’t exactly packed, but there were still a good number of students eating there.

The right wall had been converted to something resembling a buffet, and a small line had formed at its front. Sylph got into the line and Damien followed her. It stopped in front of a large woman’s counter. She wore a dirty smock and a hairnet that was packed so tightly it looked to be an inch from bursting open.

She had a small book in her hand and was writing furiously within it, glancing up whenever a new student approached her. The line moved quickly, and it didn’t take them long to reach the front.

“What do you want?” The woman asked Sylph.

“Something free,” Sylph said. “Do I have options?”

Everyone around them shuddered. Even the woman raised an eyebrow.

“Free? Are you sure?”

“…yes?” Sylph said, drawing the word out. “I’m a new student. I don’t have money to spend on food right now.”

A male student stepped out of the line behind Damien. He had short dirty blonde hair and wore some sort of leather armor. He strode up to stand beside Sylph and showed the large woman his wrist band.

“I’ll cover it,” he said. He glanced at Damien and tilted his head. “You new as well?”

“Yeah,” Damien said, nodding. “We’re roommates.”

“I’ll cover them both,” the student said, flashing a charming grin. He didn’t give them a chance to refuse. “What do you want?”

“Thank you. Could I get something with protein. Is there pheasant?” Sylph asked.

The lady nodded and turned to Damien.

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“Uh… could I get pasta or something?” Damien asked.

The woman nodded once more, then turned her gaze to the student that had bought them lunch.

“The usual, please,” he said.

“I don’t know who you are.”

“Oh, don’t be like that,” he said, groaning. “The lasagna.”

She nodded, hiding a flicker of a smirk, and jotted some things down in her book.

“Come on,” the mage said, grabbing Damien and Sylph by the shoulders and dragging them out of the way. Sylph flinched, nearly jerking back slightly. She stopped herself and allowed the student to lead them to a table.

The kind student hopped effortlessly over the table and sat down on the far side. Damien and Sylph sat down across from him, leaving space for two people between them.

“I’m Sean,” the student said, flashing a charming grin. “I take it today’s your first day?”

“It is,” Damien said.

“Welcome to Blackmist! I’m a junior,” Sean said. “It’s a good mage college. I suppose they all are. But, between us and anyone else that goes to Blackmist – we’re the best.”

“Are we really?” Sylph asked, cocking her head.

Sean’s grin flickered.

“Well, no. That would be Kingsfront. Doesn’t mean we have to say it, though.”

Damien cleared his throat.

"While I appreciate your generosity, is there a reason the free food is so bad that everyone is scared of it?" Damien asked.

"There is," Sean said, shuddering. "The free food is a plate of unidentifyable mush. Everyone ends up getting it once, but I've only known a few people that have dared to try it a second time. It's the same meal every time, and it tastes like lukewarm vomit. When I got desperate enough to try it in my first year, I'm pretty sure I saw it move on its own. Nobody should have to go through that."

"Oh," Damien said, gagging. "That would explain it. Thanks for rescuing us from that."

"Just pass the favor along if you stay at Blackmist," Sean replied, grinning.

Damien and Sylph nodded. Sean tapped on a white circle composed of miniscule runes inscribed into the table. It lit up with a dull blue glow. Damien spotted an identical looking circle in front of himself. He didn’t recognize it, but he tapped it anyways. Sylph copied them.

“It’s how the food shows up,” Sean explained. “So, do you guys know your class schedules or majors yet?”

“It’s our first day,” Damien reminded him. “We only got here recently. The dean took us on a tour and then they showed us our rooms and said we could kill a few hours.”

“Huh. I remember that part. I also remember not leaving my room until my buddy came to get me,” Sean said, laughing. “Maybe the students are getting bolder.”

“Or dumber,” a low voice said from behind them. Damien twisted to peer over his shoulder. A large, heavyset student with a buzz cut and a square face offered him a mirthless grin.

“Hello, Don,” Sean said, inclining his head. “Don’t be rude. They’re new students.”

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