Chapter 141: Announcement: Making Story Changes AGAIN & Short Hiatus

 

 

 

There is something a Web Novels can do that separates them from their more professional counterparts...

Web Novels can be short, infinite, and even get deleted and reuploaded as a new improved version.

I'd rather not delete the whole thing, and keep this series as it is.

I mean... If people hate that Alan can't be with Astrid, well, you should have read this story's title then!

But jokes aside(not joking... Gotcha, I'm joking... mostly) I think that the way I handled the breakup (yes, this shit again) could be handled better.

After thinking about if for the last week, I thought about doing multiples timelines. This would be the timeline that Amelia won Alan's heart, and once I finished writing it all, I would revisit this story again, from the start, and make Astrid the main heroine. (No breakup in this new timeline)

But then I said... FUCK THAT!

I'm getting old, (I'm 35) and I can't be writing this series forever. I have other stories I want to tell, you know, and I'd rather write at least other spinoffs.

I'm still editing My Crossdressing Virtual Quest to Become an Idol!, which I've already commissioned an official cover for, and I'm also thinking about another spinoff that could focus on humanity's (futile) battle against the Singular, before the Santa María leaves Earth.  (Have you played or know about Halo Reach? That'd be a major inspiration)

So, what's my next "patch" to save Volume 1?

Am I going to rewrite chapters 12 to 18 all over again?

No. I like how they're written now.

So, what am I trying to fix this time?

• There’s barely action at the beginning.
• The way Alan and Astrid breakup it's frustrating, because someone else made it happen. (Karen and Kathleen)
• There's no "real" danger through the story.
• By the end of Volume 1, Astrid doesn't have a fighting (love) chance against Amelia, and I don't like that. Although this is mostly SCIFI, this is a drama too, remember? I want jealously and envy! And as the way the story is currently written, Alan could be considered a cheater if he even thinks about Astrid. I want to fix that!

So... I'm going to delete just a few paragraphs, add a lot of new content, and nerf a relationship this time.

I'm going to add a whole new (or two, it depends how long it ends being) chapter, just before Alan talks to the Fake Astrid. (You know, when Karen Svensson disguises as Astrid) The conversation they have in the current version of this story will no longer happen.

Alan will be lured by a stranger, that tells him that he knows about his situation, and the reason he logged out. Meanwhile, when the Fake Astrid comes looking for him, another mysterious warrior will confront her. (That thinks Karen is the real Astrid, and forces her to fight)

I'll use Serenity and Scarlett characters earlier, (disguised) and make them do chaos in Londorus. This way, a fight will ensue, between them, Amelia, and the real Astrid.

In the current version, I think Amelia joins Alan too easily, so fighting this enemy will bond them. Also, I didn’t show Astrid in action at all.

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So, this chapter (or two) will give us plenty of action, will make Serenity and Scarlett a threat (because they cause so much destruction inside a Safe Zone) and when they fight our protagonists again at the end, will feel like payback.

My intention is that by the end of this fight, Alan will decide that he cannot be in Londorus anymore, and that is dangerous for Astrid if he's around. No more arguing between them. No more trickery, just a silent mutual understanding that they can't be together anymore. In her case, she can't leaver her guild now that they're in shambles, those people need her. That's why she'll try to help him another way. (Through Miss Cosmica, so that remains unchanged.)

And now, what could be the most controversial change.... For a few Amelia fans....

I'm going to nerf her relationship with Alan.

What do I mean by that?

Well. I think that the way is written now feels.... odd.

She falls in love with him super quick. And I blame myself for it.

At that time, I was torn by the comments that hated my guts because I've supposedly written a "NTR" story. Some of my old readers know the drill.

So my way to shut those people was to give Alan a super sexy, busty, faithful girlfriend. (Which was planned, but I think I rushed it a lot)

But, trust me when I say this, the way this couple act now, doesn't feel natural. Or I'd rather say, it's not fun writing them as a couple just yet.

I think it'll be more entertaining if we maintain some sexual tension, but nothing definite yet.

This would give Astrid a chance, would turn this story into a pseudo-harem (that a lot of you have been asking for ages!) and would prevent any future "Alan is cheating Amelia" arguments.

This means that I'd probably delete the "Amelia tried to bang Alan" scene. (Probably. Probably not. She could bullshit her way around it, and say that she has a "succubus lust state", which is a lie, that forces her to seek human contact or something. She's a Tsundere after all) And their relationship status would downgrade to still friends by the end of Volume I. (Only us, the Audience, would know that she's falling in love with him.)

So... yeah...

This my would be my last attempt to "fix" this story.

If after this, I cannot longer keep readers, that means that the entire story, or the way I write, was its downfall from the start, no matter what I do or rewrite.

I won't quit this series just yet, but I may end up making it shorter. Volume 2 won't be the last one. If I want to tell the story in a at least credible way, I'll need a third volume.

I have some interesting things planned for Volume 2.

Let's see what happens.

About the hiatus....

I'll spend the next following days writing this two (or one) new chapters. After that, and after nerfing Almelia (get it? Alan X Amelia) I'll keep editing My Crossdressing Idol. But if I get bored of that, I'll drop the first Volume 2 chapter. But don't expect it for at least two weeks.

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