He could still remember it vividly.

“Hey, Alan, do you need a hand?!”

While the now ex-Shooting Stars laughed, mocked, and killed him repeatedly, there was a person who stood out from the rest.

Walking among the crowd with light feet, observing the scene from a distance while chuckling. Getting distracted like a child by the lion’s monument that functioned as a checkpoint. She could suddenly be seen in the farthest corner of the hall, contemplating an ever-vigilant silhouette engulfed in shadows.

She moved like she was there, and not at the same time. When I noticed no one addressed her or glanced at her, I thought I was really dying. Maybe she was just the incarnation of the Angel of Death coming to reclaim my soul, here, far away from Earth.

“Come on Amelia, why don’t you try it?”

I could barely hear their voices while I did my best to monitor that girl. I was going to tell her that if she really was there to collect my soul, she would have to come later, because I had a mission bigger than myself to fulfill, dammit!

“Is it a good way to relieve stress?”

And not even these assholes would stop me!

When she finally looked in Alan’s direction, he froze. Literally. I could feel time flowing slower. Staring deep into her eyes had made the rest of the world lose momentum.

“Th--e--b--est--w--ay--in--de--ed!”

She crouched in front of him, smirking. “What a pathetic, sad little thing you are,” she giggled while piercing him with her bright red eyes. “It seems I came for nothing. I’ll report that there is nothing to report. And you…” She poked the tip of Alan’s nose. “You’re disgustingly weak.”

“What?” he muttered, while a redheaded girl got closer at a fifth of her normal speed.

The other young woman, with shiny black hair, sneered while giving him the back. “This new world is for the strong, silly. If after 22 months you did nothing to improve yourself and sat on your ass all day long, you deserve to be punished by them...”

 

* * *

 

“Another thing I love about The Novus is that once I attained Vitality Bronze A, I could wear high heels all day long without getting tired nor feeling pain. Like, that's neat!” Amelia chuckled while controlling her winged beast soaring the sky. “Aw, man, I don't know what I'll do once we get out of here. Trust me, if I could change my ankles and leg tendons, cyborg-style, to wear permanent high heels in the real world, I would do it in a heartbeat!"

From cold and ruthless, to full-on chatty…

“It's also neat that pooping here isn't that messy," he said, making her groan.

"Oh, shut up! By the way, you may not believe me, but I barely changed my avatar. 90 percent of what you see is the real deal. The real ME! Keep that in mind from now on, okay? Which part is the other 10 percent is a secret though." She giggled. "Oh! Since you just logged in, let me show you something that will blow your mind!"

Alan got a notification, stating that Amelia was streaming audio through the Party Chat. He tapped the Sound icon, and a song started playing inside his head.

‘Can’t you see that I’m behind you?

I never left your side...

Waiting, longing, counting the hours…

For you to return!

Feeling this burning desire…

Wanting to tell you how I've been.

While you roam the stars, I’m here, bound to paradise!

But it’s not the same without you!

My he-aa-art goes boom-boom when you’re arooound! 

So don’t leave!

My he-aa-art goes room-room, ‘cause you’re not arooound!”

"I know this song… From a music video playing in the Dragon's Belly..."

"No surprise there. Miss Cosmica is super popular. Isn't it amazing that we can have actual music inside the Novus?! Unlike that crap that the developers curated, yuck!"

“The developers did not curate it, blame the Vice-Captain.”

“How do you know that?”

“And aren't these lyrics too melancholic for the upbeat sound?"

"Oh, my god, you noticed! Most people don't listen closely to what she really says, you know. We might really get along after all! Just abstain yourself from toilet humor and we're good."

“My he-aa-art goes room-room, ‘cause you’re not arooound!”

Hearing this reminds me of Astrid. Although I said that the little time we spent together should be forgotten, I don't think I'll be able to.

"We're almost there. Are you sure your friend is still waiting for you in the Renovatio Caves? Have you checked what your Friend List says?"

"...Um, neither of us knew how to send a friend request, so…"

"Oh, I see," she whispered, while her gaze remained forward. "About what happened the other day…"

"Yeah?" he asked, while staring at the back of her head.

"Sorry, okay?"

"I'm not holding a grudge against you, remember? You had your reasons for acting like that."

Amelia replied after a long silence. "You shouldn't be so lenient. People might take advantage of you."

They said nothing more while the tiger carefully landed. When the beast turned into pixels, Alan stared at the cave's entrance, exhaling.

"I haven't come here since the very start, so you lead the way, okay?” Amelia said while gazing at the darkness.

“Sure.”

As they walked through the first of many passages, he got very self-conscious of her presence. Her quiet breathing, the loud echo of her high heels against the rocky ground, her sweet fragrance. 

Wait, no. Is it me who smells like her? He grabbed his shirt and sniffed it. My sleeves too.

“What are you doing?”

“Nothing!”

“Hey, you added Marissa to your friend list, didn’t you?”

“Yes, I did it.”

“Don’t try anything with her. Got it?”

“What do you take me for, huh?”

“I barely know you, Alan Warden. And you have proven yourself time and time again to act like a helpless, thirsty virgin.” She shrugged.

“Hey, Missie! Try to spend more than a hundred days with no human contact and you would also--!”

Crap.

Amelia tilted her head. “What do you mean by that?”

He continued walking without glancing at her. “Mean what? Is there something wrong with being a virgin?”

Double crap. That was even worse…

“YOU ARE?!” She laughed out loud. “I can guarantee you that the vast majority if not all the Novus population has gotten laid by now! Not only are you the weakest User but also the unluckiest!”

“The ‘vast majority’? Seriously? I can’t believe that.”

Good, she has already forgotten about the other subject. At the expense of humiliating myself further. Someone should start a counter.

You are reading story My Ex-Girlfriend is the Strongest Guild Master and I’m the Weakest! at novel35.com

“I’m not lying,” she giggled. “Want to know why?”

“Go ahead,” he said, exhaling, stopping in a fork in the road. 

Which’s the right way? 

While he pouted his lips, pondering, Emilia sneaked onto him to grab his shoulders and whisper to his ear. Her breath gave him tickles.

“Because even losers like you can use the services of ‘Specialized’ NPCs... Do you know what I mean? That is why the overwhelming majority of the passengers in this spaceship have already experienced a taste of adulthood.”

I remember Marissa mentioning something about making out with her boyfriend.

“Makes sense, the developers let everyone remember how to perpetuate humanity” he said, making her sigh.

“You make something so fun, sound so boring...”

He swallowed while feeling her delicate fingers through his shirt’s fabric.

“...This way.”

“Lead the way, oh, valorous leader.”

As they could see light at the end of the tunnel, he doubled his steps. I hope she’s okay. I hope she’s here. I hope she’s not mad at me for abandoning her for two--Oh, triple crap!

“What the hell is this?” Amelia could be heard at his back.

I forgot that the Slime Village was supposed to be The Hidden Slime Village!

The first blue and green gelatinous humanoids were staring at them. Although they recognized Alan right away, they turned cautiously at the sight of the redheaded girl stepping forward.

“Call Smudock, quick,” one said to another, who ran to the heart of the village.

I’m a terrible leader…

Alan fell to his knees and put his forehead against the ground.

“Advanced Slime?” Amelia muttered, frowning. “What is that supposed to mean? I’ve never seen such a monster. And why are they acting like regular NPCs?”

“Because they are, and they aren’t…” Alan said in a low voice.

“What are you doing down there?”

“I’m where I belong… In the dirt. You can use me like a carpet if you want. I deserve it.”

“What’s this? Another one of your kinks?”

“I’m not talking about that!” He stood up and noticed Smudock, leader of the Slime clan, approaching. “Let me do the talking for now, okay? Please don’t do anything... Hey, Smudock!”

“Alan Warden, you came back. And with another visitor...”

Even though he is not human, he can successfully imitate an annoyed tone of voice...

“Y-yes... But she’s trustworthy. I can vouch for her! She’s Amelia Laflamme. Say hi and be nice to her!” He grinned ear to ear, but the group of humanoids remained silent, while cautiously watching her from a distance.

They are acting like when Ashley almost confronted them. No one in this entire village must be able to see her level, which only means danger...

As the silence prolonged, no one noticed the little regular slime making its way to Amelia’s feet.

“S-Slomiack!” the one that was keeping an eye on it shouted from the crowd. The others took a step forward, not knowing what to expect, while Alan opened his eyes wide at the sight of such a little slime attempting to make an attack.

“N-no, little buddy!” he said with closed teeth, unable to stop it.

The slime tackled Amelia’s right ankle, taking one HP away.

“What’s this?” She squinted, grabbing the slime while everyone reached out their hand to her. The slime seemed furious, and this time tackled her in the chest. Both the monster and her breasts jiggled with almost the same consistency.

Thanks for the sight, little buddy. At least your death won’t be in vain.

“Are you trying to kill me, little one?” she said, squinting. “That’s so cute!” she giggled, hugging it. “I have always wanted to do this without getting killed! All of your species looked so soft and squishy, and it was driving me crazy not being able to touch you!”

As the enraged slime tried unsuccessfully to dissolve her skin, everyone around released a sigh of relief.

“Have you come looking for your partner, Alan Warden?”

“Yes!” He beamed.

“Come with us. And welcome, Amelia Laflamme.”

As half the town returned to their duties, Amelia grabbed Alan by his shirt. “What is happening here? Why do these Slimes talk?” she whispered, still hugging the slime.

“We’ll talk later about it, okay? I promise.”

“You know, a few months ago Jason told me the story about how he encountered a group of lizard-folk that were acting out of their regular programming. Maybe what’s happening here has to do something with that too.”

“It could be.”

Is Viola Lang responsible for that, too?

“Alan Warden, this way,” a group of slime-people said in unison after exiting a hut. Their emotionless tone of voice and almost robotic movements made them stand out from the rest of the village.

She’s inside, definitely. Dammit, Ashley, don’t take away the little humanity they have!

“Alan,” Ashley called softly, wearing a white shirt and a long red skirt made by the local artisans. “You have finally come. Is it time to continue our--?”

“Alan, a minute please!” Amelia cried, taking him by the collar of his shirt, as the slime that had started cuddling in her arms fell to the ground. “Who the hell is that?” she whispered.

“She’s Ashley, the partner I was talking about.”

“But you never mentioned that your partner was a girl…”

“Is there something wrong with that?”

“You have to be kidding me,” she said, gritting her teeth and tossing him into the ground.

“What was that for?!”

Amelia strolled to the companion, showing confidence in her every step. She tossed her hair back and put a hand on her hip. “Nice to meet you, I’m Amelia Laflamme. What’s your name?”

“Nice to meet you, Amelia. I’m Ashley.” She made a curtsy. “Are you a member of Shooting Stars?”

Amelia glanced back at Alan, showing a glare.

“Oh, sweetie, Shooting Stars is old news!” Amelia said, smiling. “We’re starting a new guild, right Alan?”

“Y-yes…”

“Should I presume that you’ll be part of it too?”

“That is correct,” Ashley replied with a straight face. “I’ll go wherever Alan goes, and I’ll do whatever he wants me to do.”

Amelia glanced back at him, this time giving him a grin and a wicked gaze. His experience with Astrid told him what it meant. ‘I’ll make you pay for this later’... Yeah, that’s what she’s saying...

“I suppose I’ll have to be patient with both of you slow levelers, eh? So be grateful that I’m even helping you. Welcome to the guild, Ashley.”

Am I imagining things, or is she acting like it was HER guild?!

Amelia offered her a handshake, which Ashley scrutinized for a couple of seconds before turning to Alan, looking for his approval.

Don’t look at me and make this weirder than it already is! He exhaled and nodded to her.

“Nice to be on board, Amelia,” Ashley said, shaking her hand.

After nodding to Ashley, Amelia turned around and pushed Alan by the shoulder. “I’ll punish you later for this, you heard?” she whispered, passing him by.

I knew it… He dropped his shoulders, feeling defeated.