This world is ruined. It’s all over. —That’s how I felt.
“Ugeeeeeee” Vomit scattered all over the roadside. “You drank too much, you idiot.” “Like I could stop drinking now!” My best friend—Yen Shihan. She, who was wearing a large coat unbefitting of her small stature, let out a sigh. “You met your ex-wife at the marriage ceremony. Isn’t that all that happened?” “…..She had a guy with her.” “Hasn’t it been 3 years since you and Akane-san divorced? Wouldn’t it be normal for her to have a new guy?” “I-, is she going to remarry? Even though I was planning on being alone forever!” “What a pain—…..” Today was the marriage ceremony for one of my old friends. After deciding to attend, I found my ex-wife sitting in the seat right next to me. Kumano Akane. 3 years ago, we were absolute sweethearts who spent every waking moment together. I was under the foolish belief that we were fated to be together. But, today, I saw her laughing and having fun with a guy other than me. Mentally, I was a bit of a mess. “Let the world perish!” “Go find someone to marry.” “Let’s goooo!! Let’s drink until we collapse!!” “God, just search for someone new to marry.” “It’s all on me, so just drink!” “……Welp, no helping it I guess.” Joining arms with the eternally penniless Yen Shihan, we began walking through the drinking district of Yokohama known as Noge.
“Sorry, are you okay? Heey.” He was wearing a blue uniform—Oh, these people are police—I realized before getting shaken awake. “Ouch.” Something had stabbed my cheek– a hedgehog….round, sharp, and cute. This is probably the hedgehog cafe in Chinatown. As I glanced sideways at the hedgehog in the corner of the room, I sat up. I had a terrible headache from a hangover. “Do you remember anything?” the police officers asked, smiling warmly at me. “Sorry, I don’t remember anything.” “You got drunk and ended up trespassing. There was a report, so we came here. Hey, what’s your name?”
“…..Daigo. It’s Midou Daigo.” —Why in the world had drunken me decided to trespass into a hedgehog cafe of all places? “Can you walk? Look, we’re going.” Several police officers supported me, helping me get into the police car before taking me to Chinatown’s police station. Yesterday’s alcohol mixed and spun in my head, making me feel so nauseous and making my head hurt so much that I felt like I was dying. The person who was called to pick me up was my ex-wife. Apparently, she was still listed as my emergency contact. “…..Daigo-kun.” With miserable eyes, she worked with the police to complete the required procedures before taking me from the police station. Just before I left, a police officer told me, “This time there aren’t any charges, but, if you do this again, you will definitely be punished next time,” which scared the crap out of me. Standing right in front of a car parked in the police station’s parking lot, my ex-wife, Kumano Akane, muttered something. “You have to properly take care of yourself, okay?” “Huh?”
“I can’t–I can’t look after you anymore, Daigo-kun.” She stared at me, looking like she was about to cry. “You need to take care of yourself. Got that?” The shame caused my mind to go blank. I caused trouble for the police and even my ex-wife. There’s a limit to how shameful I can be. Desperately trying to smooth things over and reassure her, I blurted out something that was pure fantasy. “Actually, right now I’m seriously trying to get married to someone!” “Huh? What?” “Ye-yeah. I’m about to get married. I guess I’ve found a good match. I feel like I’m destined to be with this person! –Or something like that….” “…..I see. You’ve been doing a lot, huh…” She smiled sadly. ‘What’s with that lonely expression?’ I almost blurted out before hurriedly shutting my mouth. The period where we could joke about such things with each other has long since passed. “Then I guess we’re done here. Bye-bye. Hope things go well with that fated person of yours.” Muttering this, she got into her car, leaving me behind, alone in the parking lot of the police station. The police station was in the center of Chinatown, meaning it was supposed to be lively, but, for some reason, it was only around me that the sounds seemed to dissipate. I had realized a while ago—Realized that I was still clinging to the past. I knew I needed to move on. Internally, I understood that. But, just now, that vague sense of duty had finally turned into real resolve—resolve with an actual objective. “Let’s go search for my ‘fated partner’” I’m done living a life like this, a life where I wander around, indecisive and without any purpose. I’ve decided. This is the second chapter of my life. This time—This time, I will find my real “fated person.” “Let’s go hunt for a spouse.” I clenched my fist dramatically —–Before vomiting all over the police car right beside me.
[TLN: I had something important to say but now I’m just going to bitch about how annoying the synopsis was to translate. Goodbye and also go tell JNC or something to license/translate the Lycoris Recoil LN so I can get my yuri dopamine without any effort.]