Chapter 19: 19

Title: You finally talked with your childhood friend

What in the world is going on here?
All I could do was blink in surprise.
 
Calm down, calm down, Kishima Ayane. Is this really not a dream? There’s no way, the scene in front of me is completely unbelievable!
 
The worn down road to the shrine we explored as elementary schoolers…..I still remember that scene from back then like it was yesterday; I remember Kaizaki Hikaru—Hika-chan—pulling Yukki by the hand.
 
[TLN: No, I’m not tripping she’s calling Yuki  ‘ゆっき’(Yukki) in hiragana for some reason. Ig nickname]
 
Back then, this thicket looked so huge to us.
All of us–not just Yukki–were scared, so I remember thinking that it was unfair. Maybe that’s why I still remember this now….
 
When they started attacking Yukki with those words, I couldn’t protect her.
I had been the one that was the closest to Yukki, but a distance began to form between us. It felt like the girls in our group were trying to get me to join them in separating from Yukki, in excluding her.
 
And then, we stopped interacting with each other altogether.
 
When we finally entered high school—Yukki stopped coming to school. For the first two weeks, she tried her best to attend. And, because she was doing her best, I wanted to do my best too. I wanted to talk to her, to reconcile with her. But, the moment I decided to do that, she had an attack at the morning school assembly.
Someone had said those words to her. I was almost certain about that.
 

—After that, Yukki stopped coming to school…
 
I guess this is what you call regret.

Several times, I worked up the courage to try to meet Yukki or call her.
 
However, it was no good.
 
The second I saw her and talked to her, Yukki’s breathing became rough and she became unable to breathe, just like right now——-Wait, she’s fine?!
Yukki was being protected in an embrace.
 
Our classmate Kamikawa-kun—In school, he always looks so listless, but his current expression was the complete opposite. I could tell that he was really worried about Yukki, and I heard about what was going on from Hika-chan, but what in the world is this? Is this a dream?
 
“Ayane, could you stop pinching my cheeks to check if this is a dream?”
 
Ah, I guess I was subconsciously pinching his cheeks.
But his voice wasn’t angry. I really am so happy to have his kindness directed at me. Wait, my true nature is showing. Got to focus, got to focus….
 
＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿
 
I mean—
 
Just how do I go about getting closer to Yukki? How can I make up with her? That’s all I could think about. I would do anything. I’ve had enough of these regrets.
 
I don’t intend to completely rely on fate, but, God, please, please give me one more chance. 
 
I prayed.

 
—I have no clue if there are blessings left in this desolate excuse of a shrine though.
 
＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿
 
It was just after we had done what we normally did and put our hands together in prayer that we had come here and miraculously met Yukki.
Still, I couldn’t believe that Kamikawa-kun was protecting Yukki like this.
 
■■■
 
There were exactly two stumps, so the two of us sat across from them. I was relieved that Yukki had seemed to have calmed down a little.
 

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“Could we talk for a little bit?” 
 
Yukki gave a small nod in response to Hika-chan’s words.
This is a dream isn’t it?
 
However, even I could tell that Yukki was breathing heavily and was in pain as she nodded. Her expression was contorted into a face of agony. 
‘Guess we still can’t huh’—As that crossed my mind making me feel depressed, her wheezing amazingly stopped.
 
(Huh?)
 
Nothing had changed. Wait, no, something had changed. Kamikawa-kun had grasped Yukki’s hand. And Yukki had clung to it and snuggled next to him.
 

(Wait, there’s no way right?)
 
Yukki looked incredibly relaxed. The happiness was practically exuding from her unguarded expression. I blinked in disbelief. 
 
–Yukki, you’re not even aware you’re doing this, are you?
I couldn’t believe my eyes. 
 
I had heard about what happened between Yukki and Kamikawa from Hika-chan. Yukki, who had rejected everyone since what had happened, finally accepted someone, and that person happened to be one of my male classmates.
 
The relationship between Kamikawa-kun, who I had never seen hanging out with anyone, and Yukki began quietly. To be honest, I was shocked to hear that Yukki actually came out to accept printouts in person.
We had been continuously subjected to rejection. That was the obvious result, though, considering what we had done to her.
That being said, I still couldn’t believe that Yukki, who was always so bad with strangers, had chosen to trust someone other than us.
 
Looking at the scene, my thoughts were spinning in circles.
 
Honestly, I was a bit jealous of Kamikawa-kun. He was the person who had drawn out my childhood friend’s smile. He had managed to bring back what we had tried so hard yet failed to regain, and I was envious of that. That’s all there was to it. 
That being said, it felt almost deserved. We hadn’t managed to stop those words. We had given in to the status quo and the flow of our surroundings. 
 
I guess Kamikawa-kun must’ve tried with all his might to accept the entirety of Yukki’s existence. Otherwise, Yukki wouldn’t be smiling like this. 
 
‘Also,’ I thought. ‘What I need to say now doesn’t involve my childish feelings.”
I’ve prayed here, in this very place that Yukki loves, so many times. I’ve come here so many times that I’ve lost count.
 

As I thought about it, I could feel my emotions welling up in me. I wanted to see more of Yuki’s smile, but my eyes grew wet and my vision grew blurry. All of these hot emotions surged up in me, threatening to stop me from doing what I needed to.
But I would definitely say it today.
 
“Yukki—-Yuki. Sorry, sorry. I’m so sorry. I’m truly so sorry—”
“Sorry, Shimokawa—”
 
Our voices overlapped. 
 
After my emotional breakdown, I realized that Hika-chan’s tears were on the back of my hand.
The two of us were behaving like children.
 
Yukki was still looking at Kamikawa’s kind, enveloping smile, but she was making a slightly bewildered expression. 
Her eyes didn’t contain a single bit of scorn or rejection.
 
I was pretty convinced now.
Perhaps it was because of Kamikawa-kun that Yuki had gotten the courage to go out.
 
Well it didn’t matter right now. All of it––the embarrassment, pretenses, and excuses—-they didn’t matter anymore. Because sitting right here and basking in the sunlight that filtered through the trees made me feel like we were back in preschool.
Me, Hika-chan—-And Yukki. And, as soon as we realized that, we all began crying.
 
(Wait, Kamikawa-kun, why are you crying too!? You’re strange–)
I thought that to myself, half amazed.
Sharing in our emotions and crying with us during a moment like this, Kamikawa-kun…You really are a good person.

[TLN: For once delay isn’t because I’m too demotivated but because I’ve been working my ass off and barely have free time even though it’s break. This’ll probs continue for like another 2 weeks so idk if I can get another chapter before then. In terms of TLing this chapter, a lot of what the author wrote didn’t flow very well in english, so I added a bunch of extra transitions not in the text, but I think it still conveys the same meaning.]

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