Chapter 10: Chapter 10: Their Thoughts

Alea missed Raya's little whisper, trying to recover from the sentence she had just heard. 

"Why?" Alea asked incredulously. 

Why would she decide to do this? Alea thought that perhaps she was afraid of her leaving here in case Azel tries to do something detrimental to her. If that's the reason, then she can tell her what she's going to do to him to put her at ease. If it's not for that reason, she can't understand why Raya would offer to do such a dangerous thing. Even she who has faced battle, and died in a violent situation had slight heart palpitations thinking of what her future had in store for her. 

Maybe it's fear of being left alone in an unfamiliar environment. She could try sending her back to her home while she's gone, and if she is able to come back then she'll pick her up on her way back home. 

There's too many risks if she goes to the border city. Not only will she need to travel separately from the conscripts which is not a short trip, but the city itself wouldn't be safe either. The fact the emperor who is sheltered in the palace all the year round looking at his Empire through Rose tinted glasses, has realised the seriousness of this matter proves how dire the situation of the border is at the moment. Not only will Raya be in a completely unfamiliar environment, a city on the verge of being broken by the enemy will be wrought with those that want to fish in troubled waters. People that were forced to maintain a good natured and honest appearance under the stable and rigid security of the border army will no longer hide their true selves when they understand the situation. 

Raya is a beautiful, young omega. It can be seen that she was born in a high ranking family and has been kept safe from the dangers of the world. Those beasts would lock on to her like she was prey, ripe for the slaughter. Though Raya's family has power, it is too far from the border to be of any use, not that it would stop desperadoes anyway.

The worst part is still yet to come. God forbid the border army is slaughtered and the city is broken. It's not hard to imagine what the enemy army will do to her. She has no confidence about this prospect at all. 

Raya may have lived a sheltered upbringing, but she wasn't ignorant. She knew that this world was not safe, especially for omega. So seeing Alea's expressions, she understood what she was thinking. There were too many dangers to her if she followed this path, but so what? She'd only be a little less unsafe if she stayed here. So if she's going to be unsafe either way. Why not follow her wife? If things go horribly and the city is lost, she'll just self immolate. There would be no point living in this bland and oppressive world without Alea anyway. 

"I want to follow you. As your wife it is my right to accompany you through all parts of our lives together". She knows Alea would refuse, so she'll use whatever she can to force Alea's hand this time. She hopes Alea won't dislike her selfishness, but there is no backing down. 

Alea was really about to refuse her. When she heard Raya using her authority as her wife she wanted to chuckle. However the current situation cannot be allowed to be dispelled because of this careless laugh. She can imagine the smug little grin Raya would have. Like a proud little peacock. 

"It is because you are my wife that I can't allow you to go. How dangerous the border is at the moment. Even I'm not sure I'd sur..." she stopped her words hurriedly, knowing that she had just said something stupid. 

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It was too late. Raya looked expressionless but her eyes had already started to moisten. 

" I know it's dangerous. I'm not a fool. I understand that it would be safer to wait for you to come back, but when will that be? A year, two, five... Or just like you were about to say, never? ". Raya spoke with a slight quiver in her tone. 

Alea was speechless. She wanted to ask why she was so determined to follow her. Did Raya have such a deep connection with her after only a month. Why is she willing to follow her when it would most likely lead to death? But she left it as a thought. She felt that if she spoke it out it would have irreparable consequences that she would regret forever. 

She looked at Raya who spoke again "I have thought about it, and I'm willing to believe that we'll both be fine. We can consider it an exciting beginning to our marriage. When we have children we can tell them this story". Raya couldn't help but probe whether Alea was willing to try make this a real marriage. She knew Alea had said sweet things about getting to know each other and achieving happiness for the both of them, and at the time it sounded perfectly fine, but now she has to wonder if Alea has ever thought that they can truly become wives that can rely on and love each other. Luckily she's a patient person. If Alea has no interest in her now, it doesn't mean she won't have any interest in her later. She can wait, she has the time. 

Alea didn't expect to hear Raya talk about their children. Sometimes she forgets things that she doesn't consider. She forgot that she was an alpha who could impregnate an omega. However she also remembered that on their wedding night she didn't specifically say that they'd just get along as more a platonic relationship as opposed to a true marriage. She didn't even understand how to word it so that's where Raya must have misunderstood. Although, Raya's words just then are thought provoking. It seems like she has the idea of a more intimate relationship which leaves Alea in a bit of a complicated position. 

Alea admits that over the last month she has enjoyed finding out the different sides that make up who Raya is as a person, and she hopes to continue discovering the rest over time, but there are too many factors to take into account. 

Biologically Raya and her body right now are first cousins. It isn't difficult to see the similarity in their faces. If they were to have children, what would the chances be that they could be born healthy? She wasn't a biologist so she didn't have the answer, but she wondered if she was willing to take the risk. 

Secondly, she doesn't know if she's even going to live through her conscription. Whether she would even see her after she was sent to the military camp. But looking at Raya's hopeful and hesitant eyes she just couldn't bring herself to quell her hope. She knew the answer had already been decided. 

'OK' Alea thought. 'If I can come back from this alive. I'll tell Raya that I'm willing'. 

"As you wish" Alea said softly. 

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