Chapter 5: Only Time Will Tell

Alice PoV

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It has been a few hours since I was born. I am now in my mother's right arm while my brother, who I now know is called Lucas, or just Luck as a nickname, is in her left arm while she plays with us. 

I heard the old woman who delivered the baby say that I was quiet compared to him, but so far he has not been crying or screaming. He looks thoughtful actually, his expression looks cute like that hehe.

Stopping to think, how can I understand what they - my mother and the old woman - are saying? I didn't understand at first because I was so excited, but after I calmed down I realized this point. I tried to think about it for a while, but the only thing that came to mind was that it is because of reincarnation. Pretty convenient, if I must say.

And another thing was that I haven't seen or heard from my father until now. Shouldn't he be present at the birth of his children? Maybe he is busy and comes later? But if it was that, our mother would probably say "Your father will be here later" or something like that. It could be something else too, like me not having a father. That could happen for any number of reasons. They would be divorced, he would deny paternity, he would have died, etc. Despite thinking about the possible absence of a father I don't even know, I felt nothing, as if he didn't matter to me. How strange, isn't it? I guess I should be at least a little shaken by this.

But leaving this possible father aside, the old woman left us a long time ago. She just made some gestures to which my mother nodded and left. Maybe she has something else to do or just leaves us alone.

Looking out the window, I can see the reddish-orange sunset illuminating the sky as it reflects its light on the clouds, making for an extremely beautiful scene.

It looks like this new world of mine is going to be a place that I will really enjoy living in.

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While I had all these thoughts filling my mind, I heard Lucas start to cry, and worried I quickly turned my attention to him. Something in me ached and made me want to protect him at all costs when I heard his crying and sad expression. Too bad I am only a baby now, otherwise I would be comforting him with him on my lap while hugging and patting him on the head.

Just imagining the scene of him all fragile holding me while depending on me to comfort him and make him happy almost made me drool with happiness, hehehe. Ahem, control yourself Alice. You shouldn't want to see your brother sad, but to see him happy.

Turning my attention back to him, I see that mommy - I decided to start calling her that, since she addresses herself that way when she talks to us - has already started to worry about why he is crying. I nodded mentally to her, as I watched her diligently taking care of my brother. That's right Mom, keep it up, take care of him for me until I grow up. Ahem.

I saw Mom's expression change to one of realization, as if she had figured out why Lucas was crying. She then says:

"Are you hungry, sweetie?"

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And starts to take out something that was under the sheet. It was her breast, which was really big, being a little bigger than Lucas' little head.

Apparently Lucas was hungry. That makes sense, given that it has been a few hours since we were born.

I saw Lucas's eyes sparkle as I looked at him, and that made me hungry too. I looked at mommy with puppy dog eyes as I pushed my little head forward, wanting some for myself.

Mom just laughed a little at my actions and pulled her other breast to me, to which I gave a happy smile and started sucking on it.

As I was being suckling, my mind began to wander aimlessly. From my new life to my brother, from my family to my brother, from my mother to mother brother... and everything always ended up coming back to thoughts about my brother. 

I imagined all kinds of things with him. From the purest brotherly love to the most perverse brother-sister relationship. Just imagining my brother all mine while seeing me as a woman and his sister at the same time brought an unnatural smile to my face.

In those moments, if not for hiding my face in Mama's bosom, I am sure she would notice my abnormal smile and the drool dripping down my chin.

The more I thought about it, the more expectant I became about my new life. Until the moment I started to let out a few muffled "whoops" as I fantasized about it. This is getting dangerous... dangerously exciting.

As I continued my fantasies, some questions suddenly came to me. What if my brother never looked at me like that? What if I ended up not liking my brother, despite all these fantasies? Would what I feel now change someday? Is what I feel for my brother love or just lust triggered by a sexual fantasy?

The first three only time could answer. As for the last one, I have the answer now. It is just lust. It would be unrealistic and illogical even for the concept of love if I started to romantically love a brother I never interacted with until now. We were born only a few hours ago, if he is not a reincarnated equal to me, he wouldn't even know what is happening to him now. Much less make me fall in love with him. I may be someone with raging sexual fantasies, - to call myself a pervert would be too strong in my opinion - but I am not someone who would start to romantically love a newborn baby. 

I may not love him romantically now, but that doesn't mean that in the future I won't be able to. But well, only time will tell for sure.

While I was thinking about all this, I looked at my brother, who had no idea what possible future plans I had for him, and gave him a charming smile, which probably came out more cute than charming, but that's enough. At that moment I saw that he also looked at me, whereupon he began to fall asleep.

After it all happened, I once again said a phrase that I have been reciting very regularly.

'Hehe, I'm looking forward to it.'

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