Chapter 4: My Love – How things go

My love spoke to me and has another he longs for. I once had a chance in our youth, but fear and family got in the way. I wonder if he knows that I speak truly of my feelings?

Does my mind merely focus on the doubts, or are these the questions all those who long for another ask. Will my love prevail, or shall it perish with the day to be reborn anew in another? My heart is his, yet he does not want it, at least not yet.

Does he dislike me for some reason? Is my body displeasing? Is my personality off-putting? What is the truth of the matter? I can only hope that his words are true and he has another he's interested in.

Knowing there was a chance in our youth my heart sings, yet knowing his heart does not hold me wounds deeply. Has he thought of me these years? I can only hope his heart holds me somewhere. I know not if I can ever love another, but I will wait to try loving another for when or if my heart is whole and he doesn't remain.

My heart is at peace and content, with only fragments of longing and woe. His mere words gave me peace, I can only imagine what his voice would give with the right words. A great weight was lifted knowing there was a chance for our love in the past, although my past cowardice does bring me pain it also brings me bravery knowing that I am a stronger man than I was after traversing the brambles on my path.

What does the future hold? Will he accept my love? Will he ignore me in future? Perhaps he may simply reject me, the most peaceful of options. I can only hope and dream that my future has him in it. 

I will always hold you in my heart, no matter how long we are apart. You are so precious to me, yet I know it may not be. Give me peace and let me know, just what way may our future go?

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