Chapter 27: 27

Chapter 27

Tan paused in the middle of the garden at night. He’d received a report, but it certainly was troubling.

A woman in white was crouched on a garden bench.

Tan could tell who she was just by looking at the thick gold hair that flowed down like clouds.

“Your Majesty the Empress.”

Ludia looked up at his call. Tan shrugged his shoulders.

“What brings you here in the middle of the night?”

“It’s because I can’t fall asleep.”

Ludia paused and sighed.

“I thought that instead of drinking strong alcohol, it would be much better to take a walk.”

Tan approached her and stopped at a reasonable distance. Ludia murmured.

“But it didn’t do much, so I just sat here.”

“May I bring you a drink?”

Ludia waved her hand.

“I’m trying to quit.”

The summer night was cool and refreshing, and all the garden’s scents were much more intense than in the day.

A wolf’s sense of smell was much better than others, so he could distinguish all the scents.

Roses, poppies, acacias, night-blooming jasmine, dahlias, and the scent of flesh.

Tan let out a long exhale and said.

“Why can’t you sleep?”

Anyway, he was obliged to either send the woman before him back into the room or escort her.

“It’s because of the things that happened during the day. Actually, I’m afraid of fire.”

Ludia’s mouth opened readily. She gripped her arms tightly.

Her voice trembled.

“So I’ll probably have a nightmare. But I don’t want to have a nightmare. That’s why I can’t sleep.”

“Your Majesty—”

“Are you going to tell Altheos about my weaknesses?”

Ludia glared at him and silenced him.

Rather than that, she was worried that she would utter gibberish while having nightmares.

It’ll be a big deal if someone hears something like ‘I don’t want to die.’

Tan couldn’t say anything when she hmmed and snorted. He scratched his cheek.

“But, um, between husband and wife…….”

“There are some things that can’t be done because we’re married. The conditions fit us both and find that aspect perfect. But that’s all.”

There was only intent to take advantage, and not reliance. She can’t be reliant.

Whenever she relied on something, it would always end up in failure. She has to do things with her own power.

On her own.

With her own power.

She bowed her head.

“There are times when I feel anxious because of Lilica.”

Tan tilted.

“I think the princess is a rare person with an innately good personality.”

A low laugh appeared in reply.

“That’s the problem.”

There wasn’t anything else in response. Tan was worried that she might cry.

How should he comfort a crying woman?

If it was someone from his clan, it would be over once he placed candy in their mouth, but that wouldn’t be the case with Ludia.

Ludia took a breath.

She has to be solely responsible for Lilica.

Lilica was a great child, and she changed Ludia.

So Ludia was doing her best for Lilica, but she couldn’t tell if her best was the right answer.

She was afraid.

She was afraid that she might ruin Lilica.

Was she raising her daughter, who was capable of becoming even better, wrongly?

Should she wash her hands off and leave her to the best tutors…….

‘But today, too….’

Her daughter just cried. She felt ashamed at the thought of failure.

She wanted to grab someone and question them about what she should do at times like this.

She needed someone to discuss things with.

But there wasn’t anyone.

She was alone.

She kept pondering and wondering by herself.

How to not ruin her daughter.

How to prevent anyone from touching her daughter.

How to protect herself from the cruel and evil people.

Ludia looked up. Tan was startled.

He thought that she was crying, but she wasn’t crying at all.

Her resolute face was really beautiful, but somehow, there was also a hint of sorrow.

Ludia rose from her seat.

“If I continue to remain here like this, Tan will be quite troubled. I’ll head in now.”

Tan shook his head at Ludia’s words.

“Please do as you wish, Your Majesty the Empress. I’ll just follow your directions.”

Ludia smiled lightly. She stopped and looked up at the Sun Palace dazedly.

She looked at the room where her daughter was asleep.

Perhaps she was shocked that she was rejected despite promising to sleep together often.

With another sigh, Ludia moved slowly.

* * *

Lilica jumped out of bed because she couldn’t sleep.

She felt anxious and scared.

The wide bed and the high canopy only served to make her feel lonely today.

Lilica got down from her high bed and approached the window.

When she opened the window, the strong scent of flowers washed over her. She placed her arms on the window sill and took a deep breath, but she didn’t feel any more refreshed.

She couldn’t help but turn her gaze towards the garden.

For some reason, she thought Fjord would be there if she ran into the maze garden.

She thought that she’ll feel refreshed if she went over and talked to him.

But she can’t do that.

Lilica closed the window and paced around like a caged animal.

She felt stuffy and frustrated internally.

Her mother was safe, and the Emperor has promised to protect her. There was nothing lacking.

Lilica eventually ran out of her room.

Brynn or Lauv would notice as soon as she left her room, so she used the servant’s passageway like before.

The hallway was dark and scary.

But something else was much scarier than fear, so she ran down a short hallway and went back into the servant’s passageway into the Black Dragon Chamber and opened the bedroom door.

Atil, who was lying on the bed, jumped up and when he saw Lilica panting, he asked in astonishment.

“What? Did something happen?”

As soon as he got out of bed, Lilica ran and hugged him tightly. Atil looked up.

Lauv and Brynn peeped through the open door of the servant’s passageway.

Both of them were watching where their master was going.

When Atil made a dismissive hand gesture, the two of them bowed and carefully closed the door.

“What’s wrong? Hm?”

When Atil saw Lilica clinging to him desperately, he tried to make his voice as friendly as possible.

“Did you have a nightmare?Are you alright? Or is it because you’re unable to fall asleep again?”

Lilica just shook her head at the various problems she suggested.

“Aunt is safe, and she will be fine in the future. Uncle has said it, so he’ll keep his word…….”

Lilica tightened her embrace. Atil paused and asked her.

“Do you, perhaps, dislike Uncle?”

It was common for the child to dislike the partner of their parents’ remarriage.

“N, no.”

Lilica finally spoke. Atil felt a little frustrated, but he tried to exercise as much patience as he could.

“Then what’s wrong?”

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“…….”

Lilica withdrew wordlessly. Atil held back the urge to question her at the sight of her sullen face.

Doesn’t he also have a whirlwind of emotions that he couldn’t vocalise?

“Here.”

Instead, when he opened up his arms again, Lilica burst into tears and burrowed into his arms again.

“Alright, alright.”

Atil patted her back carefully. As she sobbed, her small back trembled and her shoulders shook.

Atil frowned at the soundless sobs, but he remained silent.

After crying for a while, Lilica said quietly.

“M, mom…….”

“Yes.”

“What if Mom abandons me…?”

After speaking, Lilica began to cry again. Atil found it absurd.

Anyone knows the fact that Ludia cared for Lilica. So why would she abandon Lilica?

“Why would Aunt abandon you? Don’t be ridiculous.”

“But, but—“

Right now, she’s useless.

Her mother was so beautiful that she could have abandoned Lilica and left whenever she wanted. As such, Lilica worked hard to earn money, and protected her mother.

‘If I’m a little more useful, if I work a little harder.’

‘If you need me.’

‘Then, Mother won’t leave. You’ll love me.’

But now there’s His Majesty, who’ll protect her mother. Then, there’s no room for Lilica.

Now, she was unneeded.

Her mother wouldn’t keep a useless child, would she? Then, will she never gain her love?

Atil said, “That’s not true,” but he agonised over what he should do. It was quite a difficult problem for him to solve.

Just then, the servants’ passageway opened again. Atil looked up and his eyes widened.

The hand that was stroking her back stilled. Lilica didn’t notice and continued crying.

Then, a cool hand stroked her hair.

“Lily, would you like to chat with Mom for a while? Hm?”

Lilica looked back in surprise. There stood Ludia, who was dressed lightly.

On the way back to her room, she met Brynn and came over immediately.

“M, mother.”

Lilica was at a loss. Atil took off her arm stealthily and said.

“I’ll give you some space.”

“Thank you, Atil.”

At Ludia’s words, he excused himself with a glance and quickly left the bedroom. Lilica fiddled with her fingers, unsure of what to do.

“Mother, are you alright? Are you not sleepy?”

Ludia felt like crying when she saw her daughter asking after her stammeringly.

Ludia held it in with difficulty and wrapped her palms around Lilica’s cheeks.

It felt good when cold hand touched her eyes, which were heated from crying.

Lilica could feel the coolness of the summer night air from her mother’s clothes.

“Lily, Mom is…”

Ludia didn’t know what to say, so she stared into her daughter’s eyes.

‘It’s alright if you don’t protect me now. Mom is alright.’

‘Ah, not something like this, but more.’

‘Something more.’

Ludia spoke slowly.

“So Lily has always been protecting Mom. Thank you, Lilica. I’m sorry for being unaware.”

Lilica held her breath. Tears poured out of her round eyes again.

Ludia slowly wiped away the tears, which were dripping down like pearls.

At the sight of her mother’s kind smile, Lilica’s trembling lips opened.

Only a single word came out of them.

“Momm…”

Ludia drew Lilica into her arms.

“Yes, yes, You’ve worked hard. Baby, I’m sorry that I didn’t know. Hm?”

Ludia spoke repeatedly as her daughter sobbed in her embrace.

As her tears came to a stop, Ludia wiped her cheeks and said.

“Now Mom wants to protect Lily. Lily has been protecting me for a while, so now can you let Mom protect you? My precious Lilica. My treasure. I can do my best because of Lilica.”

Lilica hiccuped and nodded. The hand that my mother held was soft.

A hand that patted her on the back, a gentle voice

The joy of being recognised and the relief that she wouldn’t be abandoned were mixed, and Lilica fell into slumber at once.

A childlike figure, Ludia smiled. Now, her daughter was heavy, but it’s alright if happiness was heavy.

“Mom…”

“Yes, Mom’s here.”

Ludia smiled at her daughter, who was murmuring in her arms.

After confirming that Lilica was completely asleep, Ludia whispered quietly.

“Lily, Mom has learned a lot from Lily. But at that time, I didn’t know how wonderful it was. Because I was ignorant, so I disregarded and trampled on it.”

Normally, people don’t want to admit their faults. They didn’t want the choices they made to be negated.

That’s all the more the case if the other party was someone that you disregarded.

As such, she didn’t know then.

No, even if she was aware, she still ignored it.

“Mom wasn’t the only one raising Lily, Lily also raised Mom.”

Ludia tightened her embrace around the daughter that’s in her arms. She was a fool.

If it weren’t for the sight of her daughter dying before her eyes, if it weren’t for how she burned to death on the stake, she would have been a foolish person that didn’t understand.

‘That’s why, this time, I must.’

She doesn’t know how the opportunity came about.

Perhaps she was still on fire, and it was all an illusion.

Even if that was the case, it didn’t matter.

She intended to do her utmost no matter the circumstances.

Just then, Brynn approached quietly and asked.

“Your Majesty the Empress, shall I take the Princess?”

“No, I’ll take her to the bed like this.”

“Understood.”

When she left the bedroom, Atil was pacing in circles.

“Thank you, Atil.”

“No, not at all.”

Atil shook his head. He didn’t seem to be of much help. Ludia smiled slightly.

“No, I was able to hear Lily’s story because she came to Atil. If it weren’t for Atil, Lily would have been all alone. I’m glad that she has an older brother like Atil.”

Atil closed his mouth awkwardly and averted his gaze.

Ludia tilted her head, wondering why he was frowning when she’d complimented him, but the door opened then. Everyone’s gazes turned towards it.

Altheos surveyed the people standing within.

Except for him, the whole family was gathered. Flustered, Atil wondered what to say, but Altheos walked over and said.

“I’ll take her.”

“It’s fine.”

“She’s also my daughter.”

Ludia frowned slightly, but there was nothing she could say to refute. She can’t say, ‘She’ll only be your daughter for eight years anyways.’

Lilica was sleeping so soundly that she didn’t stir while being moved into Altheos’s arm.

Altheos ruffled Atil’s hair with a hand. Atil was surprised and stiffened.

“Good work.”

“Not at all.”

A stiff answer came out. Ludia knew why Atil expressed his affection with head pats.

‘So that’s how this person does it.’

But he has never patted her head before. Ludia thought to herself.

‘That’s a relief. If not, I definitely would have bitten off that hand.’

She spoke to Atil.

“Have a good rest now. I’m sorry to have disturbed your sleep.”

“It’s alright.”

From a while back, Atil has only been giving stupid answers—never-ending not at alls and it’s alrights—but it was difficult to give the right answer.

Altheos strode out with Lilica in his arms, followed by Ludia.

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