Chapter 19: Chapter 18: The Greatness Of Studying?

Exams: A stressful time for all students alike(unless you're a genius)- Whether you're from Japan or from the U.S or maybe somewhere in Europe, you'll almost always find students that stress over this event. Exams are almost liked by no one- which very sad for Mr/Mrs. Exams, but that's the sad truth. 

If the students get a bad mark on this event, they'll be made fun of and will also have to redo the year, sitting with/beside kids a year or two younger then them. What follows those people are the malicious whispering from his/her/their fellow classmates and schoolmates. Very depressing indeed.

The thing some people don't know is the teachers side of this time. They themselves are really busy with exam related things and plus other assignments. So, now the question is, why do they even exist at this point? To show how smart someone was? Who even thought of this horrible thing in the first place? A guy that thought, 'Hmm~ If I add this thing called 'Exams' maybe I can get my son to have a whole harem.', and then he later did and then he thought, 'Since I am a man of honor, I shall help my fellow men to have many beautiful women themselves!' and of course, saying that line would be him trying to get even more women to his harem by showing how cares about his fellow men(obviously he doesn't actually care) and then the person that he helped thought the same and now, we're here in this modern world.

Or, maybe it was just a women wanting to get that one hot guy in the school called the 'White Prince' or something.

There is literally no point in having these 'Exams' anymore- no, they probably never really had any use in the first place. 

Clearly there is no benefit in having them. Both students and teachers are suffering. 

On that note, I ask once again, 'Why do we have these 'Exams'? They clearly have zero good things about them, so then... why?'

Ok, ok, we know you're stressed out/annoyed because of the upcoming finals but still... you really got to stop complaining to yourself. It won't help. At all.

Right now I was using my precious weekend- my precious break that comes only once a week and last for only 2 days! To study!! To study!!!!!! Out of all the lovely things I could be doing right now, just playing games, going outside, hanging out with friends or even shopping- I'm studying. Studying!!

That's how I come to my biggest reason as to why I dislike exams/finals. I have less time to do the things I like/love to do! This of course is a problem for not just me, but every student and teacher included. I mean, we students just love wasting our time studying for a big test we might or might not pass. Mhm, we don't just like it- we love it. A lot. Totally.

Just saying, teachers also just love doing extra work themselves. Maybe they like it more then students, who knows.

Now I wonder what High school will be like. I already have less time for stuff thanks to tests and studying for them, but then when I become a high schooler, I'll have more work and tests and so...  even less time.

Ok, for real this time, no more talking to yourself, Haruka. We all know you're not in the best mood ever since you woke up because you slacked off the day before, leaving you with all this studying to do today, and~ also because you ignored Onee-chan this morning unintentionally because you were thinking about something else- ah, lets not forget you also made Onee-chan have that expression on her face because you ignored her, but still. Just be quiet.

I slap my cheeks, getting rid of thoughts of this hellish morning. I don't even want to remember. Onee-chan looked so... sad because of my rejection. She said good morning to me- a usual greeting in this family- well, almost all families right in the morning, but then... I walked past her. Not on purpose, I was thinking about something else. 

Since I felt like I heard something, I turned around and then... I saw her expression. It ripped through my heart and so, In the end, I never did greet her. I'm the worst.

I let out a sigh as I reach across my desk. I lay my head down on my arm, the pencil that rested on my textbook started rolling and rolling until it touched my arm. I got to apologize to her. I thought, getting my head off my arm and then take my arm off of the open textbook, making my dull pencil roll into the center of the notebook. 

Before that though, lets sharpen this pencil.

After sharpening my pencil, I leave my room and make my way over to her room.

I swallow and take a deep breathe in just before I knock on the door. There was no answer. it was silent. Complete silence. Was she not inside or was she ignoring me?

Wait, how would she even know it was me knocking anyways?

"Haru?" It was Onee-chan's voice. I turn my head towards the direction of the voice, leading me to the stairs. She went up a couple more steps until she was finally on the second floor along with me. "What's wrong?" She walks closer to me.

I remained silent for a second, surprise. Luckily she wasn't trying to ignore me or anything. 

"...Can we talk?" I ask, looking to side, remembering what I wanted to talk to her about. Why couldn't I look her in the eye? It's not like I did anything major or anything. I just accidently ignored her is all. So then why...

---

She didn't look like upset or mad or anything. In fact, she actually looked confused. She must be thinking about what I might have to say to her or something. The silence produced by me is probably making her even more puzzled. 

I take in the soft sensation of her bed for a second before looking up at her. "I'm sorry for ignoring you this morning," I bow my head down a little.

"Huh? Oh, It's alright."

"What?"

"I said I don't mind. It seemed you had something on your mind, so it's alright." She shoots me a soft smile. It seemed she really meant what she said. 

I let out a big sigh as I fall into her bed. "I see, Thank you." My mind felt almost like it was ripping apart in a way.

I had spent so long thinking about what I had done to her- I even paid the price by talking to myself/venting to myself like some loner because of this and yet, it didn't matter to her at all.

But then... why did she look like she sad? Wait, first of all, was that even 'sad'. Maybe it was something else. Something similar. But in the end, it wasn't a positive emotion like joy- it closer to 'negative emotion'.

I sit up and say, "Were you sad or anything when I walked by you?" It took me a couple of seconds to understand what I was asking What? What kind of way to ask a question is that? Logically, she could just say 'no', easily. Meaning... well, many things I guess, like she might still be angry/sad/whatever.

She still answers though. "Hm~ Wouldn't everyone feel a little lonely if the one they loved rejected them like that?" She says, smiling. For some reason, I felt something inside me stirring up, like someone stirring a pot of  some sort of stew or soup. 

All of a sudden, I feel a smile- a grin starting to spread across my face, making me turn my head away in embarrassment. She would most definitely think of me as a weirdo if she were to see me right now.

Huh? I'm getting a huge load of Deja vu right now. 

That's right, Onee-chan said the same once. 

Putting that aside, why am I acting all weird suddenly? No... it couldn't be, could it? Could this be... the effects studying?!

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Ugh... Who could have guessed it had such a strong amount of power within it?

"Sorry..." I say once again.

She falls on the bed as well. "What were you doing before?" She asks, turning her head in my direction. 

"Before?" 

"I heard scratching and groans coming from your room..." She smirks. Why she was smirking was out of my... wait...

"No! I was just studying!" I think I have a pretty understanding of what she was trying to say.

Her smirk quickly faded and a disappointed look sprouted. 

She thought I was... masturbating. I have a good- really good feeling about that(Her thinking I was doing myself).

"Ah, right. You have finals." She puts her index finger on her chin

"Don't have them as well?" I ask.

"Yeah, but you're graduating, so its more heavier. After all, if you fail... You'll have to redo 2 years!"

"What?!" I jump up. It wasn't one year, but two!?

"I'm just kidding. You probably have to just redo the year again. I never failed so I'm not too sure."

 I let out a sigh, I sure am gullible. This is like the third time I've tricked into believing something. First was Souma and then Onee-chan(I got tricked by her twice now). I don't sense a good future for me. There was another reason for me sighing: I was also relieved. The pressure would have been unreal if she was actually being serious.

"Were finals easy for you when you were my age?"

"Hmm~ I guess it pretty alright. I studied a lot and stuff." For some reason I started feeling confident in myself. It was probably the dumbest thing to feel right now. Just cause it was easy for her doesn't mean it'll be easy for me. She's pretty much a genius, of course she found it easy- or, 'alright'. "On that note, want me to help you?"

"But aren't busy with your own work?"

"It's alright, I can just do it later." She smiles, telling me I don't need to worry. I smile back, feeling a little happy inside. 

"Okay, I'll be in your care then."

I leave the room to grab my things since she told me we would be studying in her room.

When I came back, I see her sitting at her floor table, waiting for me. I join her, taking a seat next to her while placing my things down. I brought my textbook, my pencil and eraser, and lastly, my notebook. Because of all things, the table was half-filled. I had to move my textbook a little forward to make space for my notebook. The table wasn't small or anything, that's for sure. It was pretty average size actually.

I open my textbook and we start after a couple of seconds.

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"Haru, that's wrong. You do it like this~"

Her words come out gentle but seductive in a way.

"Hmm~ Lets see~ for this one, you do it like this," She leans in closer to me, her perfectly plump chest pressed up against my arm, her breath slightly tickling my nape. There was no way I could concentrate.

It sure didn't feel good to not be able to focus on what was happening, especially since she was taking time out of her own schedule for me, but still. There is just no way. I would have to be some saint or something.

Hearing her talk as her breath rubs against my ear, made me feel a little... good I guess, and it also made my face light up but at the same time it felt like my head was going to explode since I had no idea what she was saying. The first result of her voice took over the latter. That's for sure.

I look around her room as a form of distraction. Yes, to distract myself. I'm sorry Onee-chan.

I first look at her bed that was situated in front of the table we were currently sitting in and then gazed out her window, looking at the gradient of dark and light blue sky. Her window was a little above her bed. It was open, the warm summer breeze slowly seething into the room. As I about to look elsewhere, I got a glimpse of her covers. They were a dull pink with polka dots on them, making me look over about half of them. 

I then look at her closet that was on the other side of her room. The door was closed.

Before I could look back at the table; because there was nothing else really to look at and I pretty much looked over the whole room in that short period of time- I hear a voice pass through my ears. 

 

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