Chapter 9: Chapter 9: enlightenment

I hesitated for a moment as painful memories surfaced in my mind as the crowd of students crossed the gate. I could feel the anxiety rising within me, causing my heart to race and my palms to sweat. The gate was a threshold that represented a part of my past that I was ashamed of. I took a deep breath, trying to calm my nerves and quell the memories that threatened to overwhelm me. The fact that the vast majority of those present were staring at me didn't help. But I knew I had to get through it. So, taking a deep breath, I took the first step across the gate, determined to leave behind my painful memories and make new, happier ones.

Finally, I crossed over and entered, a sense of accomplishment washing over me as I let go of my fear and entered a new space. The prospect of what was to come filled me with both excitement and trepidation. As I looked around, I noticed students chatting idly, some holding books, and others standing in small groups, laughing and talking. I couldn't help but notice the strange lack of makeup on the girls' faces, as well as the absence of the usual flashy clothing. They all appeared natural, even discreetly dressed, which was unusual but refreshing.

I turned to the right, remembering the bulletin board where the new students looked up their class numbers. Unfortunately, the wall was empty, which made sense given that it had been at least two months since school began and there was no reason to keep the notice up.

"L-look, there's Alex." Mused a girl in a group of girls to my right, and out of the corner of my eye, I noticed she was pointing at me. "As beautiful as ever."

"Agreed." Said another girl with a small giggle.

I ignored the girls' stares and walked towards my other target, trying to keep my cool as I heard their snickering behind me. Despite my best efforts, I couldn't help but feel self-conscious, wondering if something about my appearance had drawn their attention.

I took the phone from my pocket and felt its smooth surface against my fingertips. I opened the camera app with a tap of my thumb, and I was relieved that it function didn't require a password. My face appeared on the screen, and I studied it carefully, looking for something that would draw people's attention to me. But there was nothing unusual about it; it was just the same old ugly face.

I stuffed my phone into my pocket and continued walking, feeling the crowd of students squeezing around me. The noise from the lockers echoed down the corridor, creating a cacophony. As I pushed my way through the crowd, something soft and fleshy touched my buttocks. It felt odd, almost like a spanking. I'd just gotten spanked? What the fuck?

I turned around, trying to identify the perpetrator, but the sea of faces around me prevented me from doing so. In confusion, I put my hand to my head and scratched my hair.

Was that a joke or something?

I tightened the strap of my backpack, feeling the pressure on my back and looking over my shoulder to see that the zipper was in place. I just hoped it wasn't a distraction to steal something from me.

I resumed my walk, irritated that my buttocks had been touched but with no intention of tracking down and confronting the perpetrator. While I was more confident in my ability to defend myself, my adult experience taught me that avoiding a fight is preferable.

I became disoriented in the crowd and sighed with relief when I finally arrived at a less crowded corridor. I made my way to the second level, where I knew there was another bulletin board, and this one was less manicured than the one on the first level, so there was a chance it had my class number on it.

I walked up the stairs, and there was the sheet with the class number right at the top. Room 303. At the same time, I checked the computer class sheet, but the number was blurry, possibly because someone spilled something on the sheet, but I couldn't really see the number, which was unfortunate.

I tried to remember where it was, but it had been a few years since I had been in school, and since school had been nothing but memories I wanted to forget, my memory of this time was hazy. The only thing I knew was that I was on the second floor. I couldn't afford to be wandering around now, and I'd feel better to confirm that I was correct, just like I did with my homeroom number.

With everything that had happened in the last few hours, I was compelled to investigate simply to satisfy my curiosity. I looked in all directions; as the start of classes approached, more people began to walk the stairs; perhaps I could ask someone from the first entrance or something similar that would not raise too much suspicion.

As I scanned the crowd, a short girl passed by me, and a sweet fragrance emanating from her. I dismissed her quickly, feeling that she was too pretty and out of my league. Next was a man, but he walked too fast, and I lost my chance. Just as my hope was fading, my perfect target entered my field of vision.

She was the stereotypical nerd, with her head down, books cradled in her arms, glasses concealing her expression, and brown hair bangs. The ideal person to inquire about something and always receive a positive response as long as I was friendly.

I knew that, because I was once that target myself.

I tried to greet her, but she didn't even notice me, so I accelerated my pace because she was skilled at keeping her head down and blending in with the crowd. She looked over her shoulder, saw me only to speed up again. At this point, I was almost jogging, so instead of chasing her and causing a scene, I decided to call out to her.

“Wait!”

Her books wobbled in her arms as a result of the girl's sudden stop, and her glasses slid down her nose slightly. Her eyes widened with surprise as she turned almost mechanically towards me. "A-Alex." She stammered when she finally saw me.

"You know me" I stepped closer, but she stepped back quickly in consequence. I tilted my head. "Are we classmates or something?"

Her body seemed to shrink in on itself. "For six years now."

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Huh... That didn't go well.

"I'm sorry." I said awkwardly, not knowing what else to say.

She scanned the surroundings, as if looking for someone. "Don't worry, what's wrong?"

It would be strange if I asked her now, knowing she is my classmate... I was in a pickle here. When I realized that the cons outweighed the benefits, I sighed and decided what I would look for on my own in the computer lab when it was time for lunch. 

"Nothing." I said, shaking my head and in a sudden attempt to socialize, I spoke up. "Class is going to start soon, is it okay if we go together?"

I awaited her response hopefully. After all, it was my second chance, and a good step in the right direction would be to make a friend.

She raised her head abruptly in surprise, and I froze when I first looked at her face without her bangs in the way. 

I made a mistake.

I couldn't help but notice the captivating details that made the shy girl in front of me stand out as I looked closer. Her eyes were the color of honey, with a slight green tinge that added a special touch to her beauty. They seemed to blur and sparkle as she blinked, and I was transfixed for a moment. Her nose was perfectly straight, and her thin, pink lips formed a delicate and refined mouth. It was a feature I had previously overlooked, but it now seemed to be the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. Overall, she was absolutely stunning.

For a while, her mouth opened and closed like a fish, until, as if realizing something, she scanned her surroundings again, ducked her head, and pressed the books in front of her chest. "No," she said firmly before turning and fleeing my sight.

I froze, still reeling from the shock of seeing someone so beautiful in the world, but I quickly snapped out of my reverie and gave myself a self-deprecating smile. It was obvious I was going to be rejected, but in my defense, if I had known she was so cute I never would have asked.

However, this adds to the list of questions I already had: how did I not know her? If someone so beautiful had been my companion, almost from childhood due to the length of time she had been my companion, surely I would have known her; why didn't I know her; did this universe also provide new people as a result of the changes? This was becoming increasingly perplexing as time passed. And I'd only been in this world for a day. It was beginning to overwhelm me, and my head was hurting.

Maybe I should skip the first class and look for some computer, or go to the reading room ultimately, some book should at least give me some information. However, before I could carry out my plan.

"Alex! We've been looking for you!" a slightly shrill voice sounded from behind me.

Two guys came up to me with smiles on their faces, one with blond hair and the other with black hair, his gait was rhythmic, his hips swayed as he looked around and winked at a random girl...what the fuck? The one in front, who appeared to be the leader, came up to me, too close, and raised both arms and.... hugged me.

I couldn't even react, it was too fast and disconcerting.

"Alex, Darling! Where have you been?" Spoke the boy hugging me.

“What?”

The boy laughed at my confusion, but this time, instead of pulling away, his face came close to mine, his red lips puckered into a kissing grimace.

I drew my face back almost instinctively, doing the famous cobra. A shiver ran down my spine as I watched the confused expression of the man in front of me that, on closer inspection, he appeared to be slightly made-up… Was I gay in this reality? Was this my boyfriend? What was the fuck going on? What the fuck is going on in the world? why the fuck does everyone act differently? Why the fuck does everything seem reversed? why the fuc-

huh… reversed?

I heard that somewhere... 

ah… I think I get it.

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