Chapter 12: 12

Liliana and Viola couldn’t say anything unlike usual.

 

I began to feel guilty that they couldn’t easily say something.

 

I didn’t know what kind of change they had in their mind, but it seemed that my sisters sincerely thought of me and tried to take care of me.

 

And unlike them, I was hoping with a petty heart that my sisters would get mad at me.

 

‘If Sisters hate me, I won’t have to go through such an uncomfortable situation in the future. I wanted to avoid it.’

 

I was embarrassed, but at the same time, I was angry that my sisters were hurt just because I said this much.

 

‘If you think about what you’ve done to me, shouldn’t you understand this much?’

 

My thoughts were too complicated.

 

‘What the hell am I hoping for? I don’t know either.’

 

The ensuing silence became uncomfortable and eventually I left my seat first.

 

The two of them could not hold onto me and as I pretended not to notice their gazes behind me, I quickly returned to my room and threw myself onto the bed.

 

I lay alone on the bed for a while.

 

I didn’t know how much time had passed, but I realized that the mansion was quiet and I opened my eyes that had been closed until now.

 

I felt like crying.

 

I was embarrassed, ashamed, and tormented by guilt.

 

Angry at feelings that could not be defined, I sighed.

 

‘No, Daisy. This is less than half of what Sisters usually do. Why are you suffering?’

 

Just because the Sisters made some hurt expressions, my determination shouldn’t have been shaken already.

 

It was so pathetic that I couldn’t even have a strong heart.

 

‘I’m ashamed to see Adelio.’

 

It was our first time meeting but he kindly comforted me and gave me advice…

 

I couldn’t stop blaming myself for being a child who couldn’t do anything even with the help of those around me.

 

‘Stupid Daisy.’

 

I tried to be mean, but only endless guilts bloomed in the end.

 

I closed my eyes tearfully.

 

It was a night where I wanted to escape to my dream.

 

* * *

 

“Why are your eyes swollen? It made me upset.”

 

Isabel put a cold towel around my eyes and let out her sad feelings.

 

“It’s because I have a lot on my mind these days. It’s time for self-reflection.”

 

“But don’t cry. If you cry….”

 

“What if I cry?”

 

“Then, Isabel’s heart breaks.”

 

I smiled lightly at the sincere voice.

 

As I quietly closed my eyes for a while, the towel became lukewarm.

 

I took off the towel and got up from my seat.

 

“I want to go to the temple.”

 

“Today as well?”

 

“Yes. There is no place like the temple to calm a confused mind.”

 

‘I don’t want to run into Adelio, but….’

 

If I met him in my current mood, I might show a weak side again, so I thought it would be better to avoid him as much as possible.

 

‘He’s just been appointed, so I’m sure he’ll be busy.’

 

With Isabel’s help, I left the room dressed similarly to yesterday.

 

I even skipped breakfast on purpose, and I waited calmly in my room without going out until th3 ambiguous time right before lunch.

 

‘I have to hurry up and leave before I run into them.’

 

I thought that family relationships were really difficult, and as I was about to go out, I made eye contact with my sisters.

 

“…Where are you going, Daisy?”

 

As I was hesitating not knowing what to say, Liliana and Viola came up to me.

 

I couldn’t ignore the two of them waiting for my answer and opened my mouth.

 

“I’m going to go to the temple.”

 

“The temple? Why the temple?”

 

Liliana blatantly looked disagreed with my answer.

 

Viola also crumpled her brows and didn’t hide her displeasure.

 

I hesitated at their negative reactions and tried to answer the question.

 

“When I go to the temple…”

 

“I told you. The temple is a place where nothing will be of any help to you. It’s definitely going to be a waste of time.”

 

“Liliana is right.”

 

Their firm reactions made me close my mouth.

 

‘Am I the only one who cares about yesterday? Why aren’t you listening to me?’

 

As I remembered what happened last night, the raging emotions burst out again.

 

‘It seems that Sisters only care about me this much, do I really need to care about their feelings…?’

 

“Whatever I do, I don’t think it’s something that Sisters have to care about.”

 

I lowered my head and spoke out without hesitation, avoiding Sisters’ eyes.

 

“The temple is my only sanctuary. It’s a place that gives me stability every time Sisters threw me away! Are you going to take away my sanctuary now?”

 

I thought I would be relieved by what I said, but it wasn’t the case.

 

With a frustrated heart, I forcibly lifted my head and faced the faces of my sisters who seemed to have been hurt.

 

Just like yesterday, the guilt was piling up while my heart was pounding with unknown emotions.

 

‘You’re ugly, Daisy. If this isn’t venting your anger, then what is it?’

 

I felt like I was about to burst into tears at any moment.

 

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‘Why on earth am I this kind of person?’

 

Even while the guilt was blooming, I didn’t want to cry in front of my sisters.

 

“I’ll go out then.”

 

I left the mansion in a hurry, leaving them behind.

 

My heart, which became more complicated than yesterday, showed no sign of subsiding.

 

* * *

 

‘No matter how you look at it, Sisters’ actions seemed to be sincere.’

 

Otherwise, there was no way my words could make them look so hurt.

 

‘And I didn’t want to believe Sisters, so I wanted to deny it until the end.’

 

I continued to doubt my sisters because I couldn’t just accept their favor as it was.

 

I knew that my sisters’ feelings were sincere, but I didn’t want to easily relieve them because of the wounds I had received.

 

‘I am no different than Sisters. This time, I am the one who threw out the hands that Sisters had reached out to me.’

 

The thought of me being pathetic did not end there.

 

A stupid Daisy who doesn’t do anything well and doesn’t do anything she promises to do.

 

As I continued to think of negative words that describe me, I felt depressed and my tears fell.

 

The moment I sat alone in the quiet prayer room and looked at the tears that fell on my knees.

 

“Daisy?”

 

I was startled by the sudden voice from behind.

 

“W-Who…”

 

“It’s me, Adelio.”

 

“A-Adelio.”

 

I hurriedly wiped away the tears with my sleeve.

 

‘Why now?’

 

I went out so confidently yesterday, but today, I ran into him while crying.

 

How could I face such a worst-case scenario?

 

While I was wiping away my tears, Adelio came close to my eyes.

 

“Did something happen?”

 

“No, I am fine.”

 

Adelio stared at me and sat next to me without saying a word.

 

“If you want to cry, you can cry comfortably.”

 

“Everyone cries. I’m embarrassed because I didn’t want to bother you anymore.”

 

“I don’t think you’re bothering me. Just sharing your worries can be a huge help.“

 

Adelio’s soft and warm voice touched my heart again.

 

I tried to hold back the tears that were about to come out again, but I guess it was not enough to hold them back.

 

“Adelio, I ruined everything.”

 

“Why do you think so?”

 

“I said I wanted to check my sisters’ feelings, but I already concluded that they were not people who could actually change. I denied their sincerity.”

 

Adelio listened to me, nodding his head quietly.

 

“So I pushed them out hoping that my sisters would be hurt. I did it twice, not once, so it’s all over now.”

 

As I was crying, unable to speak anymore, something soft touched my cheek.

 

Adelio had taken out his handkerchief and carefully wiped the tears off my cheeks.

 

I stared blankly at his face in astonishment.

 

“Thank you.”

 

To my foolishness, in this situation, the handkerchief that Adelio handed me caught my eye.

 

I thought that the handkerchief with his name embroidered on the light sky blue cloth really suited Adelio.

 

“Don’t cry. You’re not a pathetic person at all.”

 

“No, it’s because Adelio doesn’t know me very well. I am…”

 

Adelio shook his head before I could finish speaking.

 

“Don’t think it’s too late. You just have to find a new way.”

 

Adelio gave me warm consolation and placed a handkerchief in my hand.

 

“Yesterday was my idea, so why don’t we take a look at Daisy’s heart today?”

 

“My heart?”

 

“This time, we’re going to think about what Daisy wants and put it into action.”

 

At Adelio’s words, I closed my mouth and nodded.

 

‘Yes, that’s right. It’s right to think about what I really want in the first place.’

 

Adelio was right.

 

I should have checked my true feelings before I heard others’ opinions.

 

‘What I want….’

 

The faces of Liliana, Viola, and other family members floated in my head, and I was easily able to conclude what I wanted.

 

“I want to protect the peace of my family.”

 

If the ruined empire in my dream was really going to come true in the future, it was right to get close to my sisters.

 

‘I just have to try again.’

 

Some people might think it was frustrating and stupid, but what I wanted most right now was to go around and get along with my sisters again.

 

“I’m not sure if my sisters will accept me again. The conclusion is too lame, right?”

 

“I don’t think so.”

 

At Adelio’s confident tone, I turned my head to look at him.

 

He spoke with a friendly smile that seemed to melt like yesterday.

 

“Every choice Daisy made will work out. No matter what anyone says, it will work out.”

 

For sure.

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