Chapter 5: Chapter 5: Lets Go Outside

Where have I been walking to for the past hundred years? Have I been moving forward? It certainly feels that way. Every step I take, everything moves behind me. That’s how I know I’m moving forward.

But then why have I come across that same tree with moss growing all along the bark. It’s the 7,854th time that I’ve passed it. I know. I’ve counted every single one of them. 

Still, I keep on moving and forget the existence of that moss covered tree. If it stays on my mind, I don’t know if I’d be able to look at myself in the mirror anymore. I’m taking one step ahead. The tree moves further behind me. 

I look in the distance and see my destination. A mountain that soared so high into the sky, it reached into the stars and still kept on soaring. Even though it breached space itself, it still felt like I could reach out and grab it with my very hands. 

I kept on marching forward through the jungle, backpack in hand, and hope still flourishing. I can make it this time. I know it to be so. I may be running low on food, water, and energy, but my legs could still move, so I kept going. 

In some ways, I wanted to turn back. Give it up and wallow in your failures. Why do you still keep moving? Are you so afraid to admit that you’re never going to make it? How long do you want to run for? 

I keep moving forward because where else would I go? Maybe I am afraid? I’m going to run as long as my legs can still keep moving. I’ll ignore those dreaded whispers. I’ve been running for far too long to stop now. 

I look around me and see the moss covered tree once more. That’s the 7,855th time I’ve seen it.

***

I open my eyes, then immediately close them as dreaded sunlight rushes through the window. I thought I shut the curtain all the way. Suddenly, my head sprang into action and decided that now was the time to cause the worst pain imaginable. 

“Fuck my life!”

No one answers.

Groaning, I climb out of bed and make my way to the kitchen. A nice cup of coffee will help get me out of this funk. I leave my room that strangely doesn’t have a door anymore.

I enter the kitchen, then immediately scream as a strange woman stands at my refrigerator. She looks at me and waves, as if she hadn’t just broken into my place. 

“Good morning.” The strange woman that I definitely have never met before greets me. 

“Uh. Good morning.” 

My headache subsides a bit and I remember who she is. She’s Harmony and I’m Ty. She’s a succubus and we haven’t banged yet. What kind of disaster universe am I living in where a succubus hasn’t fucked me till I’m dead. Then again, I’m not particularly keen on dying, so I’ll let it slide for now. 

“Whatcha cooking?” I ask. 

“Nothing yet. There’s nothing really in here.” 

Harmony moves out of the way and gives me a full glimpse of the fridge. It was almost barren. The only thing that kept the tiny fridge tumbleweeds from blowing was two pint-sized milk cartons and a bowl of cheese dip left over from yesterday. 

“Man.” I groan, rubbing my forehead, hoping that’ll calm the pain down for a moment. “Do we at least have some coffee?” 

Harmony shook her head. “That was the first thing I checked. Why do you have so little groceries?”

I say nothing for a while and just shrug my shoulders. “I’m not an outdoors person.”

“Then why not order stuff online?”

I got nothing for that either. I really hate this version of myself. Where’s my sarcastic quips and perverted glances? All gone, down the drain that the pain in my brain just opened up. Oh woe is me, the man that was unable to compliment a woman’s breast size the instant I saw them first thing in the morning. 

“Do you not have money?”

“I got money, just not as much anymore. That’s why you’re here.” I point at her and twirl my finger.  

I could see a grin appear on Harmony’s face, and my headache strengthened an extra notch. Was this a premonition of awful things to come? Was it just a plain coincidence? Am I really going to not fuck a succubus’ brains out? We’ll see what happens next time on My Succubus Roommate. 

“Let’s go grocery shopping.”

Tuning back into the finely scheduled programming, it turns out the answer was a premonition of awful things to come.

“You can go yourself.” I move over to the living room and sit in my favorite seat. 

“I don’t know this place? How am I supposed to know what to look for?”

“Simple. You just know.” Genius man. Genius.

“Won’t you come out to protect this weak and wholesome maiden?” Harmony tries to pull the same puppy dog eyed stunt as before, but this time I’ve come prepared. 

“Bitch, you ripped my door down. Don’t call yourself weak. You could beat ten men’s asses.” Then proceed to fuck their brains out. I keep that one to myself for later. Thank god my mind is still keeping my perverted streak going despite the constant pain. 

“Touche, but I still need some help finding places around here. I need to find a job anyway, so that alone is enough to warrant showing me around. The sooner I get a job, the sooner we can discuss pay.”

I have to admit, she’s good at debating. She makes several good points in a row, so if I stick with my stance of not wanting to leave, it’ll just make me look like an asshole. Can’t a man just stay inside without the need to come into contact with people.

“I’m going to lie down for a bit.” I stand up and walk back to my room. It was a mistake leaving bed. “If you need something, you know where to find me.”

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***

Ty walked back to his room like a cat sulking away somewhere they could be alone without their pesky owner bothering them. I wanted to keep up the barrage, but if I did, that would just make me an asshole. I sigh and sit down, going over what I need to do. If he won’t come with me, then I’ll have to figure out where everything is by walking in random directions.

I need to find a job, I need to buy groceries, and I need to figure out the place. The only thing I know about the city is the name, Juxtin, and the fact it’s in America. The layout, places, and people are all foreign to me. 

I need his help, but he’s kind of put me in a difficult position. I don’t want to bother him too much, but he’s left me with no choice. 

I stand and march to his room. I need his help, and he needs to stop sulking in bed. If I need to, then I’ll grab him by his feet and drag him outside if that’ll help. 

I enter his room, no need to open a door as it still layed on the floor with its handle gone. It’s just another reason to go shopping anyway. He needs a new door, but he’s busy hiding under the covers to give a damn.

“Can you hear me?” I ask.

If he could hear my voice, then he just ignored it as he tossed around in bed. It just made me pity him. Why is someone as bombastic and outspoken as him sulking in bed from the idea of going outside for once in his life?

“Look, if you don’t go buy groceries, then you’ll die. You’ve gone to buy stuff before, right?” Ty didn’t say anything, but I could see him nod his head. “So what made you want to go out before?”

Five seconds passed and Ty still didn’t answer. The curtains of his window were closed, but sunlight peeked through a small opening and touched his shoulder. I was about to give up and go out myself, but he suddenly began stirring.

“I just think to myself about what’ll happen if I don’t get food.” He turned onto his back and stared out the window through the small crack. “If I don’t get food, I’ll waste away and die doing nothing special in life.”

“I wrote a best-selling book that sold around a million copies, but in a year or two that won’t matter anymore. It’ll be forgotten for the next best thing. It’s happened once before, so who says it won’t happen again. I can spend years writing all my feelings, thoughts, and personality down on a piece of paper, only for it to sell less than the one I wrote a year later with half the effort.”

“I want to reach the heights that I aspire to. I want to climb that mountain that reaches so high in the sky that it pierces the heavens. I want to transcend history itself, or at the very least, I want something that I’ve written to change history.”

“But I need to survive for that to happen. To survive, I need to eat and drink. To eat and drink, I need to leave my shell and venture out into the world. I need to talk to people, but I want to avoid them even more.”

He stopped talking for a brief moment. When I was sure he finished his speech, I coughed into my hand, getting his attention. 

“You talked to me just fine.”

“Yeah, but I was in my habitat. When I’m here, I can craft my own narrative.” He looked at me for a bit, then back at the window. “With some exceptions.”

“Out there, there is no narrative that follows rules based on what makes a better story. It’s so random and unfair, as if everything’s meant to end as a tragedy. I can’t craft the narrative, so what’s even the point of leaving.”

I chuckle, and he looks at me oddly. Of course he would. Who would laugh when someone is opening themselves up for the first time in what could have been years.

“I’m guessing you’re a writer?”

“Yeah.”

“And let’s say I would like to read your books; where would I find them?”

“Online mostly, but I’m pretty sure every bookstore and library has at least one copy.” 

“And if I wanted said book, I’d have to talk to people. Right?” 

“Not really. Amazon’ll just drop the package at the door.”

“What’s Amazon?”

He looked at me as if I had just asked how to chew food. Well, sorry that I don’t know shit about the human continent.

“You really do need help, don’t you?” He groaned and got out of bed, his blanket falling to the floor. “I’m feeling up to it. Let’s go.” He forced a smile on his face, but a forced smile is better than no smile. 

***

I stood side by side with Harmony. The front door was still closed, but it won’t stay like that forever. The last time I went outside was a month ago, but it could have been longer. I don’t know anymore.

I’ve always thought about ordering groceries online, but I’d need to meet the person delivering them and sign a sheet. The first time I did that, the thought of him looking into my house and seeing my disheveled self kept me from doing it again. It’s been so long since then, but he still probably remembers me as the sad sack that is too afraid to leave his home for food.

“You ready?” Harmony asked.

I nod my head and grab on to the doorknob. Taking a deep breath, I pull the door open and sunlight and a gentle wind force their way inside.

“Light! It burns!” I scream as my headache heightens the pain by a notch.

“Feels good to me.” Harmony exits first and waits for me. “It’s nice seeing you joke around after being so serious. I don’t think being serious suits you too well.”

“Yeah, I couldn’t agree more.” I leave my home while covering my eyes. I shut the door. I’m outside.

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