I, Alice, was dissatisfied with my time in Ninaev's house.
Because I wanted to be involved not only with the people inside the mansion, but also with the people outside. I wanted to give something back to the people I had caused trouble for.
But Mr. Ninaev won't let me out.
Perhaps he doesn't want to let me out of the mansion for various reasons. When I think about it, I wonder why that is.
I'm going to ...... listen to Master Ninaev and try not to move on my own.
I'm not sure if ...... Mr. Ninaev believes me after all.
When I think about it, I feel a little depressed.
But in my head, I know that it's not that easy for him to believe in me, since I've been living so selfishly, and I wouldn't even have known who I was if I hadn't been in that situation. But I feel a little sad.
...... I never felt sad or lonely until Ninaef took me in. Everyone believed in me, and I took it for granted that they would be there for me. But when I think of my sister, Lelanda, I wonder if she's always felt these emotions that I'm feeling now. I hadn't thought about it at the time, but ...... there was no one by Lelanda's side. I was allowed to dress nicely, but Lelanda always wore tattered clothes. If we were twins, then my birthday should have been Lernda's birthday, but everyone in the village, including my parents, celebrated only me and not Lernda.
When I remember that, it's natural that Ninaef doesn't believe me now, and it's also natural that I'm feeling sad and lonely, because I'm feeling negative emotions that I've never felt before.
However, the fact that I couldn't go out of this house was hard for me, as I was filled with the desire to go around and ask for everyone's favor for the trouble I had caused.
As my heart was filled with conflicting feelings of wanting to obey Ninaef-sama's words that I couldn't go outside yet and wanting to go outside, there was someone who approached me.
It was a man who had recently been hired as a gardener in the house. He was a kind man who often gave me freshly picked fruits.
If you want to go out so badly, I can take you out. You can go into town for a while.
That's what he said to me.
But, I think.
Ninaef-sama is protecting me. After all I've done. I'm alive because of Ninaev, and I thought it was wrong for me to act against his will.
No, not without Ninaev's permission. ......
You can go out for a while. If you tell Ninaev later, he will laugh and forgive you.
He said that and held my hand.
If we just go out for a little while, look at the city for a while, and then go back, Ninaev-sama might not find out. Even if he finds out, he might be kind enough to forgive me.
The possibility of such a possibility crossed my mind.
I think that it might be okay to go out like this.
"No, I'd rather wait for Ninaef's permission before I go out. So, I'm sorry. It was nice of you to offer to take me out, but maybe next time.
She said.
I knew I didn't want to go out without waiting for Ninaef's permission. I didn't want him to hate me for not keeping my word. That's why I said what I did.
I thought if I refused, the kind gardener would let go of my hand.
But...
"Oh, you're bothering me.
At the same time as he said those rough words, he pulled my hand as hard as he could.
"What? What are you doing? I told you I'm not going!
I was shocked and wondered why he was doing that, but I screamed. But my mouth was blocked by a large man's hand.
I don't know why he's doing this. I don't know.
I felt scared.
I felt horrible.
But I couldn't do anything as he held me. I tried to resist but I was no match for the man's power.
Why? Why?
What will happen to me now?
Just when I was about to be crushed by such anxiety.
"What are you doing?
I heard the voice of one of the maidservants who was taking care of me.
As soon as I heard this voice, the man who was holding me let go of me. He pushed me away. I lay on the ground and heard him run away.
It hurts.
My body throbbed with pain from the blow.
I lost consciousness from the pain and shock.
---My sister and an incident.
My older sister, a girl who was a godchild, was taking a new step under a princess. One thing happened to her.