When I heard that a bloody incident had occurred, my mind went blank. I don't know what actually happened because I didn't see it firsthand. Dong and the others told me not to go to the scene because it would be dangerous. I wanted to jump out of the car, but I held back because I knew it would cause trouble in the village.
I wondered if Loma would be all right, and what the bloody incident was all about. I felt uneasy. ---I wondered if my words had been better conveyed to Loma-san, if she would not have jumped out of her skin. If I had been more persuasive, if I had been able to convince Ms. Loma.
When I blurted out these thoughts, Sipho told me.
"Hihihiin (Don't beat yourself up)."
He said and pressed the tip of his nose against me as if he was trying to comfort me.
He would press the tip of his nose against me as if to comfort me, "Hihihiin, hihihiin.
That's how Sifo tells me.
I'm sure that no amount of persuasion by anyone could have stopped Roma. But - if I had been able to get around her better, I might have been able to keep her from running off to those people.
I am different from everyone else in many ways. ---I have never thought much about the pain of being different.
When I was in the village where I was born and raised, I didn't care that much about my surroundings.
When I arrived at the village of the beastmen and met the elves, everyone was kind to me and I never felt pain because I was "different.
But now, I feel pain because I am different.
I have a feeling of pain because I am different from everyone else.
But if I were not different from everyone else, I would have starved to death long ago. And I would have died long ago. And they told me that it was because I had this kind of power that I was able to maintain my current situation. They said that maybe without that different part of me, we would have all died.
When I think about it, I realize that I have a power that is different from everyone else's. Whether I am a godchild or not, I am happy that I have that power. --- but I have a very real sense that I am different from everyone else, and I feel an indescribable bitterness in my heart.
In the village where I was born and raised, I never felt this kind of difficulty. I just lived my life, and I didn't care about anyone. But I realize once again how hard it is to face and deal with people. There are so many people with so many different ideas. My wish is to create a place where everyone can just spend time together and feel safe, but that is a difficult task. ---Sometimes we can't laugh with people who used to laugh with each other. No matter how many words I say to them, they may not be able to walk with me.
I am aware of this.
I was worried about what had happened to Loma and the other people at the place, so I just leaned on Ceefo and said some words to him. I was very anxious. I just had a hunch that Mr. Loma would not come back.
---And my hunch was right.
I heard this from one of the cat beastmen who was on his way to them.
Loma-san got along well with those people and went to them. And I heard that she lived laughing with those people with whom she was good friends. In our village, however, we planted crops, and if we took good care of them, they did well, or if we went out to look for food, we found some, or if we encountered a demon that we could defeat, we did well, but not in their village. It seems that Roma-san brought seeds from this village and planted them to stave off hunger. But they did not grow well. She said that although the environment was similar to ours, the seeds grew in our village but not in theirs, and that it was common in our village.
And what was commonplace in our village was not commonplace with those people. I was surprised at how different it was, but Mr. Lan, who was listening to the conversation with me, said, "It's different without Lelunda..." I was surprised at how different it was.
People came from villages that were doing well, and they seemed to feel that they might now be able to do well here, but everything they did did did not work out. It seems that it was the same people who had been trying to capture us when we went to negotiate with them that had grown tired of it. They said we were useless and killed Mr. Loma. ---and that the people who did it were killed by people with consciences. ...... and that those people are desperately apologizing for the murder of Ms. Loma. They said they were sorry that it had come to this.
At first I heard that story as unrealistic. ---It was a shock to me that Ms. Loma had died.
Then Dong and the other adults kept talking about them, but they were not in my mind.
---- girl and the ethnic 7
(Maybe the godchild girl will hear the sad news and turn her head blank)