We decided to head for Kamiko and just keep going.
Two more people lost their lives. I had hoped that we would all make it to the shrine safely, but reality was not that kind.
One of the merchants who followed me also died. He was a young merchant who had decided to follow me with hopes and dreams for the future. The rest of the dead were beasts.
We are talking less than we did at first.
I suppose that's to be expected. We set out into the dangerous forest with the goal of getting to the godchild. We are moving forward with the faint hope that tomorrow we will be able to meet him. But we can't find any clues that we can meet Kamiko.
I wonder if I will really be able to meet Kamiko at ....... Was this really the right choice? Will we all ultimately die while holding on to hope?
Objectively speaking, I think it is a good thing that only three people have died yet. There was a good chance that all of them would have died by the time we got here. Considering that, it is not such a bad marching situation. That's what I'm telling the others.
--But I think it's fair to say that the situation could collapse from within at any moment.
I am certain that my heart is also beginning to turn in the wrong direction.
I wonder if I am going to die. I wonder if things will never work out. I wonder if it was all for nothing that I came all this way. Shouldn't I turn back? Whenever I let my mind wander, these thoughts occupy a large part of my mind.
I want to see Ran. I came all the way to this place with just that thought, but I wonder if I won't be able to see him. That's what I think. But I have to meet him. I will meet him no matter what. With this thought in my mind, I went on my way.
I was going to meet Lan, and the beasts were going to meet Kamiko.
With this in mind, we moved forward without looking back.
As we were moving forward, I saw something strange.
It was translucent, and we could not see its proper shape. Besides, it seemed to be invisible to other things. At first I thought I was hallucinating because I was tired. I was so tired that even despair came to my mind that I might be at my limit.
But the further I went, the more the hallucination began to appear in my eyes.
Was this my hallucination? Is this my hallucination, or is it something mysterious that no one else can see? Is that my only limitation? I felt that way, but - as I realized its gradually shifting presence - I came to the opposite conclusion.
Perhaps this strange sight was proof that the presence of the divine child was approaching. I don't know why there is no one else but me, but let's say, for example, that this is not a hallucination - that a mysterious, translucent presence really exists in front of me.
The only being who could create such a mysterious existence would be Kamiko. Or, even if it is not a godchild, there must be a being who can break through the current situation of despair.
I held such hope.
Perhaps I was really hallucinating and the hope I was holding on to was just a misunderstanding. But it is better to have a little hope than to have no hope at all. I was driven by this thought.
That's why I keep moving forward.
I know that people around me are worried about me. I know they are worried that I have gone crazy because I say that I have seen something that others have not seen. I am not crazy. I will be able to prove that when I get to Kamiko.
With that thought in mind, I just kept going with all my heart.
More and more mysterious beings began to appear. Aiming in the direction in which they were headed, I took the initiative in advancing my feet. I hoped that they would take me to the godchild. This was a gamble. It would be nice if there was a child at the destination, but there was also the possibility that the destination was a nest of demons or despair awaited.
If nothing but despair awaits me ahead, I will let them go, even if it costs me my life.
Sadda! Why are you here?
It was Ran's voice. I looked in that direction, and there was Landono Stoffer, the man I had been chasing for so long.
And then I saw the cat beasts that had been by my side running toward me and hugging the cat beasts that had been following me.
Seeing that, I thought, oh, I won the bet.
I was right to follow that translucent being as hope. If I followed Ran, I would surely be able to meet Kamiko.
As soon as I realized this, I was so relieved that I lost consciousness. And when I came to, I was unconscious.
---Merchants and hope
(A translucent existence that only the merchant could see. He chased after it as hope. Chasing it with hope, he won the bet.)