Chapter 34: Kouta catches up

When I woke up, I was alone.  I wasn’t lying down on the futon with a flower in each hand, but on my bed, naked, under a blanket.

 

The sunlight was pouring into my room, and I turned my head towards the place on the floor we had made into a love nest.

 

But there was no futon, no coverings, and there were no flowers.

 

My room was the same as I remember it, except there was a strange hole in the wall across from where my computer was, and the garbage can next to my desk was sitting upside down, and looked like it had been emptied and cleaned.

 

I should have any number of thoughts processing through my mind, but the only one that seemed to matter was that I should cover up that hole.

 

Why was there a hole.

 

I could taste bile.

 

No.

 

It wasn’t bile.

 

It was a taste I should have never, ever, have known.

 

It was the taste of Kana-chan.

 

The churning in my stomach that made me want to quickly find a place to deposit what I had nothing left of inside of me into, had lost to something else.

 

It lost to something my eye saw as I got up from my bed.

 

A white sheet of A4 note paper.

 

[    Kouta,

 

I have become Shi-chan’s woman.

 

I have abandoned my role as your Onee-chan from here on.

 

I am breaking our family ties.

 

What we did, has proven beyond a doubt I am a deviant.

 

But I’m fine with what I have become.

 

Because Shi-chan accepts that of me wholeheartedly.

 

Yet it is difficult for me.

 

In her heart, there is only you, Kouta.

 

Only a single repeating word.

 

‘Kouta<3’

 

It’s not fair, but that is how it is.

 

She has given me a small corner of her heart, at great cost to herself, because of you.  You allowed her to see our bond.  She got ahold of it, warped it, and now we have come to this.

 

I risked everything, exposed everything so that even just once, my name will appear in her heart.

 

I understand it too well.

 

That is how it is for me too.

 

All that occupies my mind and heart is Shi-chan, but because she loves you so, all the safe feelings I held for you have changed.  

 

That is the kind of person Shi-chan is, and needed to show you. What kind of damage she an unleash when she feels like it.  It is because she is chasing something, and will do anything to reach it.  Will take and use anything she can to reach it.

 

For myself, that I have done those things to you, Kouta, is surely unforgivable.

 

Yet I would do them again, and again, without fail, if asked by her, or you.

 

Her, because it makes me happy.

 

You, because it makes her happy.

 

My place is clearly defined.  So as long as I am accepted, then there is no boundary for me to cross.

 

In our whole life, have I ever called you otouto*?  Surely some part of me knew this day would come, even back then.

 

Kouta is a man, and Shi-chan and I are women.  We are Kouta’s flowers.

 

Shi-chan is his right hand, and I am in his left.

 

My existence now can only be that of your lover from now on.  Understand that. 

 

There is no passage back, and only a single push forward remains undone.

 

Please care for us properly, and we will bloom for you every night.

 

When you can accept to push… then at that time, please push, for all our sakes.

 

For now, you need to rest.

 

Relax and sort your thoughts and feelings.

 

We are here for you, whenever you are ready to call us back.

 

With Love,

 

Your new lover, Kana-chan.]

Somehow there is much missing from that explanation.

 

Like Nakada-san had done with her mother, now Onee-chan had done it with me.

 

I cannot call her that anymore now, can I?

 

Kana-chan.

 

…

 

It is a thought I will need to explore.

 

When I say it, the reaction is numbing.

 

Kana-chan.

 

…

 

There is no reaction from my son.

 

I don’t want to think about it right now anyway.

 

It’s Thursday morning.

 

I have skipped out on doing work for three days.

 

I must get something done.

 

I throw on some clothes, and notice something on the handle to my door.

 

Two pairs of panties.

 

One black, one red.

 

They are being hung on the door to signify to me the bride has been accepted into the others’ family.

 

There is also another reason.

 

Those two girls are huge fucking perverts, and want me to sniff their panties.

 

…

 

Somehow the latter makes far more sense.

 

I go downstairs, and there is a small plate of food with a net over it.

 

It is a single hamburg steak sitting atop rice and with a demi-glace sauce.

 

There was a smaller note on top of it.

 

[    Kouta

 

The contents of this plate, are only a single percent of my feelings for you.

 

Please taste them.

 

And when you are ready… 

 

Taste me as well.]

I lift the net and use the fork that was resting on a napkin next to it.

 

I cut of a small piece and with a bit of rice and sauce put in into my mouth.

 

I am in Makai.

 

It is the magma palace of Enma.

 

The air is ablaze.

 

My skin bubbles, and flesh threatens to slide from bone.

 

…

 

I want to say that I can see.

 

But with the amount of spice in my mouth, the fight or flight mechanism for self-preservation has demanded I run to the refrigerator and try to drink something that will remove the intense heat searing my mind right now.

 

I manage to drink something, but I am collapsed onto my knees and holding my throat in agony.

 

…

 

That was a taste of the Devil Nakada-san.

 

Is that the Ascended form of the Wild Nakada-san, or is Wild Nakada-san the base form?

 

I don’t know.

 

We have an unopened carton of milk in the fridge.  Milk is said to best be able to remove spice from the tongue.

 

I bring a tall glass and the carton to the table.

 

I grab the fork, and I accept the single percent of Nakada-san’s feelings in to me, in bite-sized pieces.

 

When the plate is cleared, I have a new understanding.

 

Nakada-san can teach me what I need to know through pain.

 

And then can heal me afterwards.

 

Nakada-san’s image of me is what I need to become.

 

I don’t know what it is.

 

I’m really just an average otaku in my heart.

 

I want to play video games still.

 

I want to watch cute anime still.

 

I want to read comics, and feel all kinds of 2D emotions, still.  

 

Because it is safe.

 

And yet.

 

Nakada-san.  When she had me in her mouth, and looked up at me with those eyes.  Those Intense Eyes.

 

Even thinking about it, my son has immediately responded to the call of my own lustful heart.

 

It has become the ultimate weapon.

 

With a single press, the rail cannon will surely fire.

 

What is the target?

 

…

 

There is no target right now.  False alarm, please return to your posts.  Good job, soldier.

 

…

 

With free time finally available to me, and having accepted one percent of Devil Nakada-san’s feelings properly, I head back upstairs to work on the project given to me.

 

…

 

…

 

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When I take a break, I have only used the red panties for support.

 

it is no good if I don’t face reality.

 

I reach for the black panties, and I inhale.

 

I inhale deeply.

 

My son stirs.

 

I understand.

 

I inhale again, and before I know it, I am lending a hand to my son who is trying to grow up.

 

Do you want to be a man too?

 

I inhale the scent from the black panties again, as deep as I can.

 

I take the red panties, and blindfold my son’s one eye with them.

 

He cannot see. 

 

Like me he can only smell and feel.

 

It is unwise for him to have the adult black.

 

He must start with the red.

 

When he gets older, and understands why.  Maybe then…

 

Ah.

 

My son was too excited.

 

He has thrown up on the red panties.

 

Children when they play around a lot will occasionally do that.

 

There is no need to punish or scold him.

 

I merely clean him up.

 

The red panties are soiled.

 

Shall I let Nakada-san know they need to be washed?

 

The black panties are like a drug as well.

 

It must be taken in moderation.

 

I want to store it carefully.

 

I have lost the [Holy Maiden’s Cloth]

 

Where it was last seen, was back in her possession.

 

Instead I have a new item now, what are it’s effects?

 

Status Check!

 

---------

 

Name:  Kawamura Kouta

 

Class: Otaku (2nd year)

 

Age: 17

 

HP: 4/10    MP:  0/4

 

STR: 10    AGI: 9

 

END: 11 (+1)    WIS: 12

 

INT: 15        LUK: ??

 

[SKILLS]

 

Computer Programming: 6

 

Household Chores: 7

 

Studying: 8

 

Nanpa: 2

 

Independence: 2

 

Taboo: 5 (+3)

 

Sexual Ability:  2 (New)

 

[DEBUFFS]

 

LOVE    BROKEN_BONDS

 

[BOOSTS]   

 

CLARITY    COMPASS

 

[INVENTORY]

 

HOUSEKEY

 

WALLET

 

FORBIDDEN ARTICLE

 

---------

There are some significant changes.

 

Sexual Ability?  That’s a good thing, right?  It doesn’t seem like there is point system, so I can only increase it thought trial and error?   Reminds me of a certain retro experience-less RPG series.

 

Let’s see BROKEN_BONDS:

 

Oh, it means Kanae was quite serious.  She no longer sees me as her little brother.  That is pretty heartbreaking to me, to share my real feelings on the matter.   It seems it’s a timed debuff, but no indication of when the timer will run out.

 

Up next, CLARITY:

 

Ah.  That was because my son got too excited earlier.  It allows me to think about things from a different perspective for a while.  Duration of boost seems to be about four hours.

 

… I’m young after all.

 

Finally, COMPASS:

 

It seems my ability to hold on to my morality and not cross the final line is in fact a boost to me.   It reinforces my ability to be tempted to break that line in the future. It has no timer.

 

Good to know!

 

… just for my own curiosity [FORBIDDEN ARTICLE]

 

Curse series object. 

 

Continued use will degrade the user’s [COMPASS] ability.

 

Even if soiled by another party, potency will only increase when used, due to the forbidden knowledge once contained within.

 

Can augment [LOVE] and [LUST] when used in certain circumstances.

 

---

 

Yikes!

 

Well, then again, that was to be expected of an item likely chosen by Devil Nakada-san.

 

…

 

As I work hard on the project on my computer, I watch the clock increasing.

 

Before I know it it’s late at night.

 

I have received no calls or texts from either of them the entire day.

 

I also haven’t sent a text to either of them.

 

I feel a bit hungry, so I go downstairs.

 

The house is empty.

 

There is no other food left for me, just the meal from this morning.

 

I give up and grab some instant noodles.

 

I sit at the table and eat alone.

 

I finish alone, and I return to my room alone.

 

I crawl into bed alone, but do not feel comfortable.

 

The futon is still in the room, I should air it out tomorrow.

 

But their scents remain on it.

 

I clear the space in the middle.

 

I put the futon down.

 

I take the sheets from my bed again and create the garden for my two flowers to exist in.

 

I lie down in the center.

 

I cry.

 

I really, really cry.

 

And then I just close my eyes and breath in and out to calm myself.

 

I feel a slight breeze.

 

I feel a couple of soft thuds from nearby.

 

One arm is captured.

 

Another arm is captured.

 

My lips are stolen.

 

I open my eyes

 

Beautiful brown eyes are looking into my own.

 

In a moment they are replaced by a different pair of lips, and golden eyes.

 

There is no dialogue.

 

They rest next to me.

 

I become selfish

 

They are clothed.

 

I remove their clothes myself.

 

I see what is mine now.

 

What belonged to me properly is mine.

 

What was once forbidden is now mine.

 

I show each the same affection they have shown me.

 

I lie back.

 

It will be hard to accept some aspects of it.

 

But I will try.

 

What we do that night?

 

It’s a secret!

(Secret 33:  Nakada-san can control herself when she gets close.  Kana-chan is a loud screamer no matter what.  Kouta is okay with either.)

 

//Author:  I am taking a day off most likely to edit.  If the mood takes me, I'll post a chapter.  I want to pad a few early chapters, properly annotate certain terms, check for bad grammar or missspellings, and prepare for the next arc.  Thank you for your continued support in me by reading Nakada-san To Ren'ai (Romance with Nakada-san) //

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