Chapter 78: -Special: Meeting with the sisters of the circle.

---Wednesday, After school---

---PoV:  Sakuraba Umeko---

I’ve been coming to this group for a while, but I’ve been doing it anonymously.  I’m wearing a wig, and contacts, instead of my usual glasses, my silvery blue hair is an easy mark to identify me, after all, and my reason for being here is my own.   

This is the ‘circle’ as they like to be called, it’s a sexual abuse support group for women.  There is a big number of people who all sit in a circle and talk.  Not everyone talks, or is comfortable talking.  I’m in the latter group myself, but there are a few people who do talk often, since they need the support of others to know they are going to be okay.

Three members of particular interest to me are almost always together.  Nakada-san, Miyajima-san, and Kobayashi-san.

Today, Miyajima-san, who likes to be called Kii-chan, is sharing.

“It’s strange, you know having a relationship like this.   I thought when I got married, I’d stick around for a bit, help out some new arrivals and such, show them it’s possible to find normalcy and happiness, then eventually leave.  Now I find myself needing the group more after she came to live with us in our home.” Kii-chan says to the group.

The moderator, Kaneshiro Amari, of course helped Miyajima-san work through her problems with easy questions, no doubt learned from her years as a psychologist.

“And how is that home life now, Kimiko?” She directs the conversation where it needs to start.

“That’s the thing.  It’s fuckin’ great!  Isn’t it strange that it’s great?  I mean I’m only recently married, it’s only been six months, and now I have a husband and a wife.  I can’t call her a mistress, because we are involved too, now.”

“It’s not strange.  While polygamy is illegal, it’s only on the legal aspect in regards to property and medical decisions.  Besides, you are the actual legal wife, right?” Kaneshiro-san asks.

“I am, and to be honest there’s actually no conflict there, either!  She’s been amazing about the whole thing.  I’m the one who’s messed up.  I mean, the little bit I did around the house… she’s taken it over, so I don’t have to.  I can get sloppy drunk from morning to night, and she cleans up after me.  She cleans the house, and only occasionally asks for my help, which she probably doesn’t really need to.  She cooks such epic meals, and even lets me be greedy when I want thirds!  She invites me into the bedroom on the two nights that are designated hers, mind you that’s just two out the whole week, so that there isn’t even a mote of jealousy I can have against her.  She shows me the parts of Micchi that I don’t know, and she asks me to show her the parts she doesn’t know.  She even … plays with me for him to watch.  And one night… she played with me, without Micchi.  I’m not even into girls!  But… that’s the thing.  She does it all, and I’m not even hated.  I’m not the mistress, she is.  But she’s become a good friend too.  And to be honest I don’t know what to do.  I don’t know how to be angry because I brought it on myself.  I can actually handle that I’m sharing Micchi.  Rather if she fought to keep those two days to herself, and not invite me, I might be able to focus my anger.  But how do you deal with this?”

“By talking, dear.  By talking.  Let’s look at the root of the problem.  Are you upset that you aren’t being let to do the housework anymore?” She leads.

“No. I hate housework.” Miyajima shamelessly states.

“Are you upset that you have the freedom to drink irresponsibly, and not have to account for it?”

“No.  That’s arguably the best part.” Again, more shamelessness.

“Are you upset that Michio-san has made you do anything undesirable with her?”

“Actually, no.  I mean, I’ve said I’m not into girls… but she’s okay.  She doesn’t push it too far or ever make it uncomfortable for me.”

“Are you upset that she is taking Michio-san’s time with you away?”

“She doesn’t, not really anyway.  She works in the same building as he does, and he sees her for lunch during the week.  I’m even free to bring him a bento if I want, but I’ve only done that once.  Saturdays are for him and her to do their cosplay thing at Akihabara, which was the only thing those two wanted out of their relationship, so I can’t hate that.   Even if I did, they come home at a proper hour!  Arrggghh It’s perfect!  Why is it so messed up if it’s perfect!?” Miyajima-san holds her head in her hands and shakes it.

“Have you talked about your feelings with them?”

“And say what?  Why is everything so good? Can I please have some chaos or reason to be jealous so I can be unfairly mad?”

“Why not?”

“What do you mean ‘why not’?”

“I also can’t see what’s wrong.  Do you need conflict to be happy?”

“I…”  Kimiko falters.

“Why not make a safe conflict?” the moderator suggests.

“What the hell is a safe conflict?”

“Just choose one thing to be unreasonable about, and tell them to take a counter point.  That’s all.  You can fight about it to destress, but you also know together that it’s superficial and unimportant except to make you feel better.  That way your need to have a bit of imperfection in your life is still there.”

“Why do I need imperfection?” Miyajima-san asks.

“Because you’ve always had it.”

“...”

Kimiko goes silent into thought, and the conversation moves on to the next person.

It’s Nakada-san.

“Shi-chan, how are you doing with your relationship with Kawamura-san?” Kaneshiro-san leads with.

“I don’t know.  I messed up big time.  I thought he was going to throw me away for what I did.  He was mad at me for a while… but… with some help from a friend, I think he’s just a little less angry with me right now.”

“What did you do to mess up big time, as you said?”

“I went to his father, and tried to have sex with him.”

“Why would you do a thing like that?”

“I thought he wanted me to.  I found out later that wasn’t the case, but part of it was that he wanted to see me, or at least I thought he did, he likes to peep, so I had … done a bit … that he saw…. and he was furious.”

“I see.  That could be a troublesome thing to work through, but how was it not the case as you stated?”

“I received a text telling me to do so from him… but he says it wasn’t from him.  It came from his phone, but he had no copy of it being sent from his phone.  It vanished somehow. The culprit may have been someone we know, and it’s a problem I’m going to have to deal with when the time comes.  For now though, everything is manageable, thanks to our friend.”

“Your friend?” the moderator asks.

“Yes, our next door neighbor, Ruru-chi.  She’s helping me to do something I wanted to do for a while, and that’s to get into novel writing. She’s an established author.”

“That’s nice.  And this neighbor is a positive influence?”

“Yes. We all get along great.”

“That’s good to hear.  I suggest you talk with Kawamura-san about what happened in detail though, even if he doesn’t want to talk about it.   This is the same father, right?   The one you said you had been with that Kawamura-san had discovered you with?”

“Yes.”

“Then all the more reason.  Do you know what his relationship is like with his father?” Kaneshiro inquires.

“Not too good.  His father is a workaholic, and Kouta is an innocent boy.  I’m his first lover, so I think it’s hard for him to accept some of my past…”

“What have you told him about that?” She extracts.

“Very little.  Only what matters so far.  That I only love him, and any other time with anyone else, was me imagining it was him.”

“Is that how you truly feel about it?”

“I hate it.  I hate that I did it with those other people.  But, ever since it happened, I just get like that.  I get crazy, and I let myself go when it’s so bad.”

“Have you had that problem since you’ve been with Kawamura-san?”

“No.   I’ve been good.  As long as I have him, I feel I can control it.”

“Then tell him that clearly too.  Let him know more about you.  You don’t have to tell him everything at once, but if he has concerns or insecurities, you have to work through them with him together if you want it to last.  Otherwise, he will become suspicious, and jump to wrong conclusions if you don’t communicate properly.”

“Okay.”

“Have you talked with him further about the…?”

“No.  There was only that one time on his birthday, at the hotel.  It was re-enacted so he could understand it that way, as it fulfilled a request he made of me at the start of our dating, and then afterwards he was so gentle.  I have the recording so when I have that dream of Junpei… doing that to me..., I can see him afterwards caring for me instead. It’s become much easier to handle each day since then.  I don’t flip out nearly as often anymore.”

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“That’s good to hear. The way you chose to do it is not good though, as it could have caused him a great deal of trauma in your relationship.  You may have been extremely lucky, and I wouldn’t count on doing reckless things like that and expecting it to work out, even if he requested it, alright?  Please think about such careful matters properly in the future.”

Shi-chan nods at the moderator’s advice.

…

“Next is… Nacchan?”

“Ha~i!”

“What would you like to share, today?”

“I tried to sleep with Shi-chan’s boyfriend, but he threw me off of him after he violated my butt.”

…

“Next is.. Sara.” the moderator shifts immediately to the next person.

“Hey, wait!” Kobayashi-san interrups.

“...”

“You have something else, Kobayashi-san?” The moderator says with a sigh.

“Uuu yes!  I mean, it’s the same thing, but I’m still angry at Shi-chan for sleeping with Nagato-san.  He broke up with me because of it, and I wanted to get her back by stealing her boyfriend.  The problem is, I actually like him though.”

“Nacchan?” Nakada-san says to her curiously.

“I do.  He’s not so bad looking, and you are pretty open about letting Kouta do what he wants, anyway.  Why can’t I just steal him away a little so we can be back to being friends.”

“Because Kouta said no, and I’m happy he did.”

“Can’t you let me, just have one time!  Just one!”

Shi-chan shakes her head.

“Why don’t you two discuss that more after the meeting ends, okay?” Kaneshiro says it in a way that is not open for continual disruption.

“Tch.  Fine.” Kobayashi says sullenly.

“Okay, next was… Sara?”

…

The meeting continued. There were girls who actually had problems, instead of these three frivolous women.  I was surprised to learn that Nakada-san was having issues with Kawamura-san.

…

“Next is… Yume-chan?”

It was my turn, I chose to go by Yume instead of my name, Umeko.

“After summer break ended, I saw him again.  He got a girlfriend, and they are sexually active together.  I’m really depressed.  We talked a bit, but I don’t know what to do.  So right now I’m just being friendly with him.”

“That’s a good path to take, but if he’s with someone you should let him be.”

“I don’t want to.  I know I’d make him happier.  The time we spent together last year… I know he’s the right one for me.”

“Maybe so.  Then, have you bothered to confess your feelings for him, at least? “

“I can’t!  I’m afraid he’ll say no.” I confess.

“He should, if he’s in a proper relationship.  And if you do so and he agrees to leave his current partner for you, that can be a sign that he might not want to commit easily either, and you will only get your heart broken further.”

…

“What if I confess to him and say that I’m willing to wait?” I suggest.

“Are you willing to wait for a day that might not come?”

“I don’t know.  It’s already so hard…”

“Just take a few deep breaths… You are a special girl, Yumi.  Have there been any other people who have shown an interest in you?  Maybe see if it’s just you being lonely, and wanting the connection with another person, not just the boy you like?”

“There isn’t.” 

There is only him.

“Look, don’t worry about it so much.  Some women don’t come into full bloom until later, you don’t have to rush it.”

I nod.

…

Next is…

…

The meeting ended soon after.  The conversation that should have happened between Nakada-san and Kobayashi-san didn’t take place.

Exiting the building, I saw Miyajima-san and Nakada-san standing outside talking, while smoking.

I stood nearby and listened.

“Shi-chan.  Kocchi was really hurt by what you did.  I even saw him take it out on Ruru.  She told him to, but still.  Why didn’t you use your head, or check with me?  I told you I’m here for you!”

“It was about Kana-chan and him… He sent a text.  You know he likes to watch… that was what it was about… he was supposed to pretend Kana-chan was me, and they would finally do it, and we’d all be together with no problems.  I didn’t know the text wasn’t sent by him!  He already saw me with his dad once.  I thought it was okay because it was his dad!  If it was anyone else, I really would have been more suspicious.”

…

“Shi-chan.  Kocchi is like Micchi. He doesn’t want to share you, ever.  In fact, if I hadn’t told him a woman is a no-count, do you think he would have bothered to continue with you?  He’s delicate!  You have to acknowledge that.”

“Kii-chan, I’ve told him I’m no good… so many times already.”

“Yes.  But don’t you want to be good?  He’s got you stable for the first time in as long as I’ve known you.  I know it’s hard with the others, hell, I’m having issues with Hiromi that don’t make sense to me.  But just reassure him you won’t do something like that again, and if you do it will only be if he tells you in person, face to face, okay?”   

 …

Miyajima-san gives Nakada-san a hug, but a bigger mystery remains for me to figure out who the other people in Kawamura-san’s life are, and how they will present a difficulty for me to take him for myself.

Just take a few deep breaths huh?

…

No, that isn’t going to work at all.  I need to think of another way.  And it has to force him to choose me.

(Special Secret:  Umeko wears glasses, but they are normal lenses. Even her contacts too.  She actually has perfect vision, for stalking Kouta with.)

 

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